flood, help me pick up chicks on tinder

Dopameme · March 11, 2015, 07:09:09 PM

I am truly sorry for the late delivery guys, but here it is. I chose arky's comment because it was the first one to make me chuckle

Spoiler

but what do i say next??

Nexus · March 11, 2015, 07:10:41 PM

OH MY FUCKING GOD

Dopameme · March 11, 2015, 07:11:44 PM

Quote from: Nexus on March 11, 2015, 07:10:41 PM

OH MY FUCKING GOD

help me arky, what's my next move

Nexus · March 11, 2015, 07:14:45 PM

Quote from: Officer Dank on March 11, 2015, 07:11:44 PM

Quote from: Nexus on March 11, 2015, 07:10:41 PM
OH MY FUCKING GOD
help me arky, what's my next move

She said something pretty awkward and bitchy though. Do you really want to hit that?

Sprungli · March 11, 2015, 07:15:09 PM

Say you'll be her dad, maybe she's an incest type of girl

Dopameme · March 11, 2015, 07:17:36 PM

Quote from: Nexus on March 11, 2015, 07:14:45 PM

Quote from: Officer Dank on March 11, 2015, 07:11:44 PM
Quote from: Nexus on March 11, 2015, 07:10:41 PM
OH MY FUCKING GOD
help me arky, what's my next move
She said something pretty awkward and bitchy though. Do you really want to hit that?

i don't think you understand how willing i am to get laid right now

Naru · March 11, 2015, 07:19:02 PM

That's perfectly fine, you can call me daddy instead.

Nexus · March 11, 2015, 07:19:50 PM

Quote from: Officer Dank on March 11, 2015, 07:17:36 PM

Quote from: Nexus on March 11, 2015, 07:14:45 PM
Quote from: Officer Dank on March 11, 2015, 07:11:44 PM
Quote from: Nexus on March 11, 2015, 07:10:41 PM
OH MY FUCKING GOD
help me arky, what's my next move
She said something pretty awkward and bitchy though. Do you really want to hit that?
i don't think you understand how willing i am to get laid right now

Lol. Say something like "I'll be your daddy tonight." That sounds pretty incesty tho.

Dopameme · March 11, 2015, 07:23:57 PM

Quote from: Naru on March 11, 2015, 07:19:02 PM

That's perfectly fine, you can call me daddy instead.

let's see where this goes

Spoiler

Naru · March 11, 2015, 07:26:22 PM

Quote from: Officer Dank on March 11, 2015, 07:23:57 PM

Quote from: Naru on March 11, 2015, 07:19:02 PM
That's perfectly fine, you can call me daddy instead.
let's see where this goes
Spoiler

lmao

maverick · March 11, 2015, 07:26:46 PM

I think you might be best to go ahead and pick another match.

Ushan · March 11, 2015, 07:31:02 PM

Quote from: Maverick on March 11, 2015, 07:26:46 PM

I think you might be best to go ahead and pick another match.

Quitter.

Not Comms Officer · March 11, 2015, 07:44:48 PM

Quote from: Officer Dank on March 11, 2015, 07:23:57 PM

Quote from: Naru on March 11, 2015, 07:19:02 PM
That's perfectly fine, you can call me daddy instead.
let's see where this goes
Spoiler

inb4restrainingorder

Jocephalopod · March 11, 2015, 07:46:18 PM

I need tell y'all about my weirdest tinder hookup of all time...

So I'm an average nigga, I consider myself a mix between Denzel Washington and a Dachshund. One day I was uploading pics and this white girl with the username "HateMyDad1992" hit me up. To be honest with you guys it crossed my mind that she might be a dude but I just said FUCK IT and exchanged the biz. She came over and she was wearing a really nice, thick sweater (even though it was about 70 degrees)

I realized that she was too cute to pass up so I took her dumb ass to the back room and started undressing her. It had only been a few minutes before she pushed me on the bed and started to bite her bottom lip. This is going to be sexy as FUCK I was thinking to myself... suddenly she uttered the most frightening words I had ever heard in my life;

"give me your jello pudding pop"

It was at that moment I realized she wasn't a hot white girl... As a matter of fact she wasn't even a she. It was Bill Cosby standing in front of me with his iconic smile and Danny Glover hairline.

"I'll ask you one more time... give me that pudding pop" he demanded, smile still intact.

Some things happened that night...

I'm not the same man I once was and I don't think I ever will be.

SergeantFlood · March 11, 2015, 08:23:47 PM

Quote from: Officer Dank on March 11, 2015, 07:23:57 PM

Quote from: Naru on March 11, 2015, 07:19:02 PM
That's perfectly fine, you can call me daddy instead.
let's see where this goes
Spoiler

And?

Dopameme · March 11, 2015, 08:24:36 PM

Quote from: SergeantFlood on March 11, 2015, 08:23:47 PM

Quote from: Officer Dank on March 11, 2015, 07:23:57 PM
Quote from: Naru on March 11, 2015, 07:19:02 PM
That's perfectly fine, you can call me daddy instead.
let's see where this goes
Spoiler
And?

still waiting for a response >.>

chances are she either blocked me or is just not answering

Septy · March 11, 2015, 08:25:58 PM

Quote from: Officer Dank on March 11, 2015, 08:24:36 PM

Quote from: SergeantFlood on March 11, 2015, 08:23:47 PM
Quote from: Officer Dank on March 11, 2015, 07:23:57 PM
Quote from: Naru on March 11, 2015, 07:19:02 PM
That's perfectly fine, you can call me daddy instead.
let's see where this goes
Spoiler
And?
still waiting for a response >.>

chances are she either blocked me or is just not answering

Probably filing a restraining order

maverick · March 11, 2015, 08:26:17 PM

Quote from: Officer Dank on March 11, 2015, 08:24:36 PM

Quote from: SergeantFlood on March 11, 2015, 08:23:47 PM
Quote from: Officer Dank on March 11, 2015, 07:23:57 PM
Quote from: Naru on March 11, 2015, 07:19:02 PM
That's perfectly fine, you can call me daddy instead.
let's see where this goes
Spoiler
And?
still waiting for a response >.>

chances are she either blocked me or is just not answering

"pls respond"

Septy · March 11, 2015, 08:27:40 PM

Quote from: Maverick on March 11, 2015, 08:26:17 PM

Quote from: Officer Dank on March 11, 2015, 08:24:36 PM
Quote from: SergeantFlood on March 11, 2015, 08:23:47 PM
Quote from: Officer Dank on March 11, 2015, 07:23:57 PM
Quote from: Naru on March 11, 2015, 07:19:02 PM
That's perfectly fine, you can call me daddy instead.
let's see where this goes
Spoiler
And?
still waiting for a response >.>

chances are she either blocked me or is just not answering
"pls respond"

Dont forget (´°ω°`)

Elegiac · March 11, 2015, 10:35:34 PM

eh

next time just use song lyrics

Not Comms Officer · March 11, 2015, 10:45:35 PM

Quote from: Septy on March 11, 2015, 08:27:40 PM

Quote from: Maverick on March 11, 2015, 08:26:17 PM
Quote from: Officer Dank on March 11, 2015, 08:24:36 PM
Quote from: SergeantFlood on March 11, 2015, 08:23:47 PM
Quote from: Officer Dank on March 11, 2015, 07:23:57 PM
Quote from: Naru on March 11, 2015, 07:19:02 PM
That's perfectly fine, you can call me daddy instead.
let's see where this goes
Spoiler
And?
still waiting for a response >.>

chances are she either blocked me or is just not answering
"pls respond"
Dont forget (´°ω°`)

(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)(´・ω・`)

CK97 · March 11, 2015, 11:22:17 PM

Tinder used to be great, but now you have to pay to like.

WHY