always wanted to, but it's too hard and not rewarding enough

but they won't be good, or have a reasonable trajectory towards becoming good at some point

if i'm gonna spend any amount of time making something artistically, it has to be good, otherwise it's a waste of time

i'll listen to your stuff later i guess

I've tracked a few songs myself, little punk-lite demos long ago and stuff and one mandolin/banjo piece. But eh, I barely play anything anymore let alone finding the time to compose and record each instrument track, program drums, redo vox about seventy different times,mix, master, export, then leave the file on my hard drive for all eternity and never share it with the world because I suck.

this

also presets and software most of the time costs money

lmao i haven't even transferred my licenses for my daws (or even installed any) to the computer i've been using since september

Quote from: Verbatim on December 19, 2019, 12:24:18 PM

if i'm gonna spend any amount of time making something artistically, it has to be good, otherwise it's a waste of time

Then how do you start learning any art form? You have to spend time sucking at any craft until you eventually start to improve unless it happens to be the rare instance where you are just naturally more talented at something.

you've talked about spending 3 years trying to master something you could've mastered in 3 months under better circumstances, and shit like that gives me extreme anxiety because i could never tolerate having to wait that long when other people pick up on stuff way faster

i've never been naturally talented at anything, and i'm extremely bitter and jealous of those who are, so if i'm gonna learn to do anything, there has to be a sense of "yeah, i can see myself improving at this," otherwise i'm just going to get depressed that i have to toil so hard while other more talented people can effortlessly do anything they want, which is extremely unfair to those of us who failed to win the genetic lottery (or wherever "natural talent" could be said to come from)

the practice of practicing has to be fun in and of itself for me to want to improve at anything

drawing and making music doesn't make me feel rewarded for my work, in the same way that writing or editing does, because progress is too slow, and there's no tangible reward for it

even if i were to make a good song, or draw a pretty picture, there's little value to me in showing it to somebody, only for them to go "wow nice job" and then move on with their lives

Quote from: Verbatim on December 19, 2019, 01:59:51 PM

The absolute grind involved with mastering an art form is definitely very daunting but I guess I just want what's at the end of that grind so much that I can't bring myself to give up (even though external factors are creating some serious roadblocks).

You didn't just start out as a great writer I would assume, so did you not feel the same way when you were developing that skill or is it just something you managed to get through and don't want to have to experience again?

i guess writing is probably the closest thing to a natural talent that i have, although it does come from a lifetime of desperately wanting to be understood by people, so it was something that i had to get better at almost by necessity

it has gotten to a point where it's become rewarding for me, though, because the strength of your rhetoric gives you the power to change how people think about stuff, so there's certainly value to me in continuing to hone that skill

other things in the art world just frustrate me, because there's no sense of progression or improvement, since the final product doesn't have a practical function beyond the ephemeral entertainment value, and it's also very subjective—there's no rules for what "good" and "bad" art is, which i find discouraging, because i believe in doing things right

if there isn't a right way to do something, sure, that's "freeing" and all, but i also don't know what to do with that

there's potential there to create something of greater value, obviously, but that's a task i'm comfortable leaving to those who actually have talent in those areas

i fundamentally dislike work and effort, partly because i'm lazy, but mostly because i don't feel like i owe the universe anything (people usually phrase it the other way around, but i've always felt that the opposite was true)

i can see myself having a change of heart about this, though—maybe some day, i'll become super inspired and motivated to create something i never thought to create before, like music

but that time is not now

On the subject of this thread though, I've only ever played around in Fruity Loops studio and made some crappy little beats/songs. I really regret not learning to play any instrument because I definitely think I have a mind for creating music. (Probably developed from growing up around my dad who's a bassist that played Jazz, Flamenco, and Metal.)

Quote from: Verbatim on December 19, 2019, 02:58:01 PM

—there's no rules for what "good" and "bad" art is, which i find discouraging, because i believe in doing things right

nah
Trout mask replica is objectively bad art

BUBBLES POP BIG

Yes, and progress is gradual and daily effort. That something requires introspection and perception, culminated experiences and experiments to create something that you only kind of hate.

https://soundcloud.com/decimatoromega

I don't really upload or play anymore. I've also made some stuff in FL Studio.

composed a lil magnum opus by the name of "roast beef pussy" once.

never seen the light of day. its safely stored exclusively on the garageband app on my iphone