Quote from: Blankina on January 08, 2016, 07:58:40 AMNo. I am admittedly in a better state than I was previously, (i.e. self harming, fully committed to suicide, fully isolated from the world, etc.) but nothing has compromised the bitter dissatisfaction and burning self-hatred that consumes me every time I shake off the unassuming facade of complacent acceptance that keeps others from seeing how honestly fucked up I am as a person. I have long since passed the point where deluding myself is impossible, and that pretending I don't feel anything at all is just an illusion ‒ most of what I feel is a void of apathetic acknowledgement that I will die without purpose, depressed and alone, in a situation where the "sadness" I feel is all I've ever felt.Now that I have a job again it seems I have an outlet to focus my displeasure upon, and actual human contact appears to be a boon, but I know that all this is only temporary. Relapsing into that lifestyle of ultimately self-destructive behaviors has been a mainstay of my life since I was a child, and I can only hope that I can find some means to prevent it before it happens again.Become a boxer and inflict harm on others? Or a politician, same thing really.
No. I am admittedly in a better state than I was previously, (i.e. self harming, fully committed to suicide, fully isolated from the world, etc.) but nothing has compromised the bitter dissatisfaction and burning self-hatred that consumes me every time I shake off the unassuming facade of complacent acceptance that keeps others from seeing how honestly fucked up I am as a person. I have long since passed the point where deluding myself is impossible, and that pretending I don't feel anything at all is just an illusion ‒ most of what I feel is a void of apathetic acknowledgement that I will die without purpose, depressed and alone, in a situation where the "sadness" I feel is all I've ever felt.Now that I have a job again it seems I have an outlet to focus my displeasure upon, and actual human contact appears to be a boon, but I know that all this is only temporary. Relapsing into that lifestyle of ultimately self-destructive behaviors has been a mainstay of my life since I was a child, and I can only hope that I can find some means to prevent it before it happens again.
Quote from: Batch on January 08, 2016, 08:00:02 AMQuote from: Blankina on January 08, 2016, 07:58:40 AMNo. I am admittedly in a better state than I was previously, (i.e. self harming, fully committed to suicide, fully isolated from the world, etc.) but nothing has compromised the bitter dissatisfaction and burning self-hatred that consumes me every time I shake off the unassuming facade of complacent acceptance that keeps others from seeing how honestly fucked up I am as a person. I have long since passed the point where deluding myself is impossible, and that pretending I don't feel anything at all is just an illusion ‒ most of what I feel is a void of apathetic acknowledgement that I will die without purpose, depressed and alone, in a situation where the "sadness" I feel is all I've ever felt.Now that I have a job again it seems I have an outlet to focus my displeasure upon, and actual human contact appears to be a boon, but I know that all this is only temporary. Relapsing into that lifestyle of ultimately self-destructive behaviors has been a mainstay of my life since I was a child, and I can only hope that I can find some means to prevent it before it happens again.Become a boxer and inflict harm on others? Or a politician, same thing really.I don't enjoy hurting others or the tendencies of the politically savvy to dance around issues and/or maintain their positions for somewhat selfish pursuits.Fact remains though that those fields don't interest me. I don't have any idea what I should be doing.
Quote from: Blankina on January 08, 2016, 08:07:16 AMQuote from: Batch on January 08, 2016, 08:00:02 AMQuote from: Blankina on January 08, 2016, 07:58:40 AMNo. I am admittedly in a better state than I was previously, (i.e. self harming, fully committed to suicide, fully isolated from the world, etc.) but nothing has compromised the bitter dissatisfaction and burning self-hatred that consumes me every time I shake off the unassuming facade of complacent acceptance that keeps others from seeing how honestly fucked up I am as a person. I have long since passed the point where deluding myself is impossible, and that pretending I don't feel anything at all is just an illusion ‒ most of what I feel is a void of apathetic acknowledgement that I will die without purpose, depressed and alone, in a situation where the "sadness" I feel is all I've ever felt.Now that I have a job again it seems I have an outlet to focus my displeasure upon, and actual human contact appears to be a boon, but I know that all this is only temporary. Relapsing into that lifestyle of ultimately self-destructive behaviors has been a mainstay of my life since I was a child, and I can only hope that I can find some means to prevent it before it happens again.Become a boxer and inflict harm on others? Or a politician, same thing really.I don't enjoy hurting others or the tendencies of the politically savvy to dance around issues and/or maintain their positions for somewhat selfish pursuits.Fact remains though that those fields don't interest me. I don't have any idea what I should be doing.Put the thesaurus down
Put the thesaurus down
Don't talk to me
Quote from: Blankina on January 08, 2016, 08:07:16 AMI don't enjoy hurting others or the tendencies of the politically savvy to dance around issues and/or maintain their positions for somewhat selfish pursuits.Fact remains though that those fields don't interest me. I don't have any idea what I should be doing.Put the thesaurus down
I don't enjoy hurting others or the tendencies of the politically savvy to dance around issues and/or maintain their positions for somewhat selfish pursuits.Fact remains though that those fields don't interest me. I don't have any idea what I should be doing.
Quote from: Fuddy Duddy II on January 08, 2016, 08:35:06 AMQuote from: challengerX on January 08, 2016, 08:24:16 AMQuote from: Blankina on January 08, 2016, 08:07:16 AMI don't enjoy hurting others or the tendencies of the politically savvy to dance around issues and/or maintain their positions for somewhat selfish pursuits.Fact remains though that those fields don't interest me. I don't have any idea what I should be doing.Put the thesaurus downhe didn't use a single thesaurus-tier wordHe easily writes the most tryhard posts on this site.
Quote from: challengerX on January 08, 2016, 08:24:16 AMQuote from: Blankina on January 08, 2016, 08:07:16 AMI don't enjoy hurting others or the tendencies of the politically savvy to dance around issues and/or maintain their positions for somewhat selfish pursuits.Fact remains though that those fields don't interest me. I don't have any idea what I should be doing.Put the thesaurus downhe didn't use a single thesaurus-tier word
He easily writes the most tryhard posts on this site.
Quote from: challengerX on January 08, 2016, 08:58:04 AMThough you're being kind of a complete faggot about it.
Yes.
That's his gimmick.
the Verbatim circle jerk.
Challenger is reminding me of when I used the term circadian rhythm to my classmates and they acted surprised that anyone would use the term in conversation ever.
Quote from: Trayvon Martinez on January 08, 2016, 10:57:25 AMChallenger is reminding me of when I used the term circadian rhythm to my classmates and they acted surprised that anyone would use the term in conversation ever.Except that's totally different. You're using a term to describe something. This guy is adding so much filler it's like aLike a sandwich
Do you enjoy your life right now?
