Dear diary

Woke up around 6 today in a bad mood. Showered and then dressed really nice. Went to my first class and practically fell asleep. All I could think about was the girl who's taken over my mind this season. We'll call her K because she'll be reoccurring. Messing with my hormones and meeting her when I was at my lowest hormonally REALLY did something weird and made me very attached. I know it's not normal or healthy.

Went to the library after class and checked out the book "The Art of Happiness". Read a good amount when this girl in one of my classes texted me asking where I was cause she was bored. This girl is hot as fuck man. Latina, big boobs, tiny waist, very fit and tight. Super sexy and she loves video games/anime/lifting etc. She's also really goofy and we get along great. Anyways she came and we hung out for a little, I think she likes me because she's really shy and I'm the only one she talks to. I can also act very naturally around her because literally NO other girl occupies my mind other than K. 

She left and after my second class I came home and cooked some beef with broccoli. Trying to get lean. K texted me and we got some food really quick and then I dropped her off for some school meeting. I went to the gym and was in a great mood. This really not attractive 25 year old lady I've never spoken to before but seem sometimes was flirting with me HARD. Asking me how I workout and telling me about how her kids are at their dads house etc.i didn't make eye contact rest of the night

Went home and after eating and watch DragonBall Super I went on tinder after like 3 weeks of not using it and I have dozens of new matches and messages. I decided to flirt and maybe get a fuck buddy to see if I could lesson my attraction to K. K texted me and we talked for a bit, she went to sleep but wants me to call her at like 2am so she can finish her homework. Now I'm just chilling on sep7agon can't sleep cause of preworkout

Fuck her butt dudr

Dear Diary

Today was pretty chill. Last night I called K around 2 and she was happy I woke her up but sounded disappointed that I told her I gotta sleep. Woke up around 10 and cleaned up my Xbox 360 to sell it.

BUT my Xbox has done the open tray error thing about 4-5 times it's whole life. And what a fucking coincidence that when the guy plugs it in the disc cartridge won't open smh so embarrassing.

Went to the gym and hit legs. Saw my little brother there it was dope. Spent like 20 min talking to this chick I used to think was super cute and she had a huge crush on me (1-2 years ago). She mentioned that she never hangs out with her boyfriend and is bored at home all day. Mental note.

Came home and watched the Most recent episode of dragon ball super which was DOPE and also learned season 11 of supernatural is on Netflix!!

Ate some fish and rice and then dropped my 21+ y/o friends ID off at his house. Took a nap and then played with my dog and read a bit. Went back to the gym for abs and cardio. The drug dealer dude was there but he just stared at me and didn't say chit. Bullshitted with some friends and then came home.

played around on Tinder while my shower started which is TOO easy now that I'm pretty attractive. Cute 18 y/o is potentially down to fuck if I buy her ice cream afterwards. But idk man it feels weird, i don't care about any of those girls. ALSO kegels are the TRUTH! Been doing kegels these last few days 25 reps hold for 5 Seconds. Just off a few messages of what she said got my dick raging hard, noticed it much more firm and upwards, especially at the base. If I keep this up x the viagra bottle I have as a secret weapon I'll be able to cut down trees dawg

In bed now chilling and studying. Earlier K told me the things I tell her "make her day ☺️😍" And that put me in a great mood. Smh I'm weaaaak

Jives Illusion skill must be maxed out cause fuck me this charade has gone on for ages

>tfw you can work out all you want, but you will never get a stand

So that tinder girl from the texts above told me to come over. On my way there I took some powdered viagra cause fuck it might as well test this to see if it's legit. 5 min into driving I felt my face flush and started getting pressure in my head LOL. Apparently powdered viagra is somewhat unsafe because instead of time releasing like Pills do it goes all at once so something something blood pressure spike or drop

Met her and she was less cute than her pics. I told her to find a place to chill and we went to a park but honestly I couldn't stop thinking about K so I told her I'm not Trynna fuck anymore I just wanna chill. She was cool with it and we talked for like an hour. She was pretty chill and told me I was way cooler than she had expected, she expected a douche smh

Waste of viagra and waste of gas but right now my arms are vascular as FUCK

he doesn't look a thing like Jesus

But he talks like a gentleman

Like you imagined when you were young

Feeling A1 now

I was about to go the gym and she called me saying she wants to hangout

I'M LITERALLY SKIPPING THE GYM TO HANGOUT WITH THIS GIRL I'M IN LOVE WITH WTF

Crazy night

Woke up this morning and finished my resume. Then I meditated for 10 minutes and read my happiness book. I felt motivated so I applied to many places all over town

I could tell K was sad and instead of my usual passive ignore etc whenever I don't get a positive response, I decided to push harder and fight out what's wrong even tho she pushed me away. We talked and she canceled her school plans to hangout with me

Picked her up and we were both in a great mood. Turning out to be a great night, but while we were driving to pick up food before our date I got into a pretty bad car accident. My car is FUCKED from the front and so is my left arm. She isn't seriously injured except for her hand and chest. I felt like a piece of shit man, I should've been more careful especially with someone else in my car.

90% sure it was the other ladies fault but still, I should've reacted better or something. I kept beating myself up over it but she calmed me down and now I'm at home trying to sleep. Gonna make sure she's okay tomorrow but I know we're both gonna be sore af

Car accidents are crazy af. They happen so fast even though that's very cliche there's no other way I can explain it

Mad headache right now too