Pardon me, did you just say something to me eh? I'll have you know I graduated at the top of my class in the Canadian Politeness Force, and I've been involved in numerous secret runs to Tim Hortons, and I have over 300 confirmed friends. I am trained in welcoming warfare and am the most passive aggressive member of the entire canadian population. You are a person that I have yet to make friends with. I will talk to you with kindness the likes of which have never been seen before on this earth, mark my passiveness. You think you can get away with not saying thank you? Think again, neighbour. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of syrup drinking penguins across the northern territories and your IP is being traced so you better prepare for the gift baskets, buddy. The gift baskets that not only contain Gift cards, but donuts from tim hortons too. You're gonna be befriended, guy. I can be nice anywhere, anytime, and can be nice to you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just if I write letters. Not only am i extensively trained in passive aggressive combat, but I have access to the entire moose army of the Canadian Maple Leaf Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to welcome your friendly ass right into the neighbourhood. You little neighbourino. If you had only known what friendly retribution your comment was about to bring down, maybe you would have eaten poutine with me. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're gonna let me pay the bill because that's how nice I am, guy. I will put you in the hospital and it will cost nothing cause our healthcare is free. You're in Canada now, friendo.
Dear Canadians