I've been in this situation before, you probably won't get with her.

I've been in this situation before, you probably won't get with her.

Similar situation, maybe.

I have been propositioned by a married woman. What is my moral and ethical obligation assuming a post-modernist background and anti-theist values?

Similar situation, maybe.

I have been propositioned by a married woman. What is my moral and ethical obligation assuming a post-modernist background and anti-theist values?

Uhh, elaborate

Okay, hang on here. I've some words to say. I'll get to ya when I can. You're waking a minefield here but if you tread carefully, you can get through.

Quote from: Brociopath on November 19, 2014, 06:44:07 PM

I've been in this situation before, you probably won't get with her.

Sorry for bursting your bubble bro.

I've been in this situation before, you probably won't get with her.

I have as well and I got with the girl. She ended up liking me a lot better than her boyfriend who was treating her badly. It's possible.

Quote from: Brociopath on November 19, 2014, 06:44:07 PM

I've been in this situation before, you probably won't get with her.

I have as well and I got with the girl. She ended up liking me a lot better than her boyfriend who was treating her badly. It's possible.

And that's a situation I see it acceptable. But if she's happy with her bf it's fucked up for you to go in and destroy it.

Quote from: TheOneTrueDesticle on November 19, 2014, 06:57:50 PM

Quote from: Brociopath on November 19, 2014, 06:44:07 PM

I've been in this situation before, you probably won't get with her.

I have as well and I got with the girl. She ended up liking me a lot better than her boyfriend who was treating her badly. It's possible.

And that's a situation I see it acceptable. But if she's happy with her bf it's fucked up for you to go in and destroy it.

I actually have no idea how their relationship is. All I know is she spends a lot of time alone whether it be watching movies, playing with her dog and little siblings, or fishing. So I'm guessing she doesn't spend a lot of time with him

Okay dude. Here comes a fucking wall.

So, for starters, before we do anything, what you need to do is examine yourself big time. You need to be ABSOLUTELY sure what your motives are. Because here's the thing. Women can smell what you're after. No fucking joke. They know when a guy wants to get into their pants and nothing more. And when those red flags go up, unless the woman is loose around the town, you'll get shot down before even starting.

So for starters, you need to be absolutely sure about yourself. Is this just the workings and machinations of sexual desire manifesting as a camoflage to yourself? You need to know that shit.

Now, about the boyfriend thing. Here's the thing. Times change. That boyfriend, might not be a boyfriend forever. And the first thing you need to remember is, is that if you where in his shoes, he wouldn't hesitate to try and slide your girlfriend out of your grip and into his. That's the truth. When it comes to women, there is no high road to take. You either get the person you're after, or you don't. It's a competition of the minds and who can outplay one another.

Which is why I state again, you need to know your own motives big time before getting wound up in this shit.

Now, onto the third point. I'm going to talk to you about Alphas and Betas. Not the internet Alphas and Betas either. I'm talking about the real world shit.

An Alpha is a go-getter. They're the ones up front an center. They jump right in, and know the game well. Betas are simply more passive, and reserved. They aren't up front and center. They're cautious, reserved, and shy. This isn't a bad thing. In fact, in the cases of friends, Alphas and Betas compliment each other.

But there's one thing to remember. We are creatures of instinct. Deep down inside, the majority of women have a greater connection to Alphas. They'll lean towards the Alpha because of that age old instinct when the survivor, the leader of the group who was the strongest, the smartest, meant a better chance for healthier offspring and a better chance for survival.

But your odds aren't stacked. It all depends on how you play your cards. How you play your cards is related to who you are. If you where an alpha male, and one who was strong, you could manuever your way into her space. And if her boyfriend wanted to fight, and you where strong enough, than you would.

But, it's better to avoid this. Even if you're not the offender.

The best you can do, is try to shift things your way in a slow, subtle manner. Even if you're her friend, in this scenario, you're playing the long game. You are her friend until she is ready. In order to shift things to your side, you really have to nail her attention to you, without giving too much away.

Talk to her often. Make her a part of her life. Talk with her about the things she enjoys. A lot of guys have trouble with women because they talk about themselves, and not the stuff women like. It's a sort of "macho" mindset that fucks you over big time. Find common ground between you and her, and try to open her up to that common ground that you two both enjoy.

But, under no circumstances should you come out and directly tell her what you're feeling, because you'll get shot down.

And, even if she liked you, you'd get shot down.

And that's because women think differently. They aren't some grand mystery that can't be solved like most men would have you believe. But it can't be denied that they think differently from men. Women are calculating, thinkers, and procrastinators.

If you approach them with something sudden, the majority of the time, they'll need to think about it. They'll need time to put everything together, and then jump.

So by taking the long road, and slowly easing more of yourself into her life, one day she might realize that she likes you. And she'll think about it. And then, when she's ready, she'll jump.

But in order for the long road to work, you need to be absolutely fucking sure that she's worth it. You need to know that you share a connection with her. You need to share a lot of common ground for it to work.

And remember her boyfriend. Things change. But most of all, tread lightly. You have to realize, that as a guy, having somebody you like swept out from under your feet fucking sucks. And most guys, when they see it happening, will defend against it, either by trying to keep you away from her through avoidance, or by simply trying to beat the shit out of you.

But, hell, if you get the shit beat out of you she might decide that she doesn't want to hang around with him if he's going to be such a jerk.

But these are the facts. When it comes to a partner, there is no high road. It doesn't matter if they're in a relationship, because they'd do the same to you without thinking twice. Most of all, if you really truly "love" her, then you wouldn't mind being just her friend. Because in friendship, the best things show up over time.

You could spend years with her as her best friend, and then one day, things might ignite. And it'll be all the better for it.

Play your cards carefully, and you can succeed.

Do you make her blush? Wait until next time she blushes, or whatever (does she give indicators that she's into you in some fashion?) and then give her a sorta sad meaningful look, and say "It's a shame" or something like that. Then continue to be a gentleman. If she asks what you mean, just smile, shake your head and give her a wink then change topic ingeniously and quickly. There are always two types of drama to pick from, in this case it's between being a homewrecker or feeling a bit doleful and going on with life.

You could also talk to her about her boyfriend. Just in a passing fashion. It's not a crime to want to know exactly where you stand, as long as you're not just looking for emotional leverage.

I've been in a similar situation. I never got with her and now I haven't seen or had anything to do with her for a long time.
I'm like an emotionless brick, but there was just something about her.
I wouldn't do anything stupid or asshole-ish like destroying her relationship. Personally I'd just remain friends for now and see what happens in the future.

Don't be a douche, respect the boundaries, and if she comes on to you, refuse. DON'T be the reason for a break up.