Congratulation you found a genie lamp

CarsGoVroom · January 11, 2016, 11:30:00 AM

You find a lamp with a genie inside and he offer you 3 wishes.
The genie informs you of the ground rules
1 no wishing for unlimited wishes
2 no bringing people back from the dead

What are your three wishes?

Winy · January 11, 2016, 11:33:07 AM

1. World Peace Forever
2. Spaceships that can go faster than light
3. Infinite bitches

TB · January 11, 2016, 11:40:18 AM

It isn't unlimited
1. 1000000 more wishes
No take backs bitches!!! Woo!
2. Perfect health of my family
3. Knowledge of the universe.
Etc...

challengerX · January 11, 2016, 11:40:52 AM

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BaconShelf · January 11, 2016, 11:52:05 AM

FTL travel that is easy and cheap
For myself to live in a couple hundred years where said FTL has given rise to spacefaring society
For the cancelled Battlefront III to have been released instead of the pos we got last year

Sandtrap · January 11, 2016, 11:53:58 AM

1. 100,000 wishes. I should be able to work with that over my lifetime.
2. Every wish deposits 100,000 dollars into my offshore swiss bank account.
3. I cannot be physically harmed or overpowered, or suffer from starvation until the 100,000 wishes are used or I die of old age.

So, with those three wishes made, what do I do?

I hitchike across the world. Listen carefully to folks I take pity on, and make a wish on their behalf. 100,000 gets dropped into my back account, which allows me to spend a little bit in places I visit, and be that one guy who hands out money freely.

That sounds like an appealing usage of semi-limitations to keep things fresh.

Pippen · January 11, 2016, 11:55:56 AM

1: Advancement in Space technology, so that colonization of other planets can become possible in this lifetime. Ensuring a longer lifespan of the human race.

2: Virtual Reality, more like the NerveGear(without the whole death thing) becoming a reality.

3: Immortality, yeah I know that this isn't always a blessing but I would want to see the world grow.

RomanGladiator · January 11, 2016, 11:57:15 AM

Quote from: TR8Rshelf on January 11, 2016, 11:52:05 AM

For the cancelled Battlefront III to have been released instead of the pos we got last year

To be able to travel and to live in different universes, i.e. Star Wars and Halo. But if I died within them, I would be transported back to this reality. Essentially a lucid dream that feels real. And you could also travel to the past and future within them, watching events or taking part in them. I guess having this ability would make video games obsolete then?

As for #3, to witness the creation of the universe I guess? If such a thing were even possible.

Ingy · January 11, 2016, 12:05:29 PM

1) Turn genie into a hot strong capable girl
2) Force her to be my servant and to do whatever I say
3) Never use my third wish so she has to be my sex slave for the rest of my life

CarsGoVroom · January 11, 2016, 01:43:17 PM

Quote from: Penis Parker: Sexy Squid on January 11, 2016, 12:05:29 PM

1) Turn genie into a hot strong capable girl
2) Force her to be my servant and to do whatever I say
3) Never use my third wish so she has to be my sex slave for the rest of my life

*Reserve slowly*

away

DAS B00T x2 · January 11, 2016, 01:46:29 PM

1: I want a world free of Jews
2: I want a world free of slow drivers
3: I want a qt3.14 korean gf that's actually a bf but I'll tell everyone that he's a gf so that society isn't disappointed in me

Jive Turkey · January 11, 2016, 01:57:54 PM

The powers of superman

That's all I really need. Maybe make a wish that nobody can ever use the genie to make wishes again in case someone tries to wish me back

Ender · January 11, 2016, 02:09:16 PM

1. That I will always be wealthy (Even if I lost all my money, I'd gain money back in some way)
2. To be always happy
3. For the djinn to go back into its bottle

DAS B00T x2 · January 11, 2016, 02:11:45 PM

Quote from: Ender on January 11, 2016, 02:09:16 PM

2. To be always happy

Hi.

Hahahaha very funny Zonda · January 11, 2016, 02:15:20 PM

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Puro · January 11, 2016, 02:16:11 PM

1. Mclaren P1
2. Porsche 918 Spyder
3. 10 more wishes

Korra · January 11, 2016, 02:38:41 PM

1. Able to turn Super Saiyan and its following levels.
2. The Dragon Balls for more wish making.
3. Batman

challengerX · January 11, 2016, 02:47:01 PM

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January 11, 2016, 02:53:12 PM

1. Omnipotence

2. Let the genie buy himself something nice

3. Give genie his freedom

January 11, 2016, 02:54:23 PM

I'd wish for Robin Williams to come back so he can voice the genie.

N/A · January 11, 2016, 03:01:35 PM

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DAS B00T x2 · January 11, 2016, 03:18:10 PM

Quote from: Trayvon Martinez on January 11, 2016, 03:01:35 PM

Quote from: DAS THE HALLS on January 11, 2016, 02:11:45 PM
Quote from: Ender on January 11, 2016, 02:09:16 PM
2. To be always happy
Hi.
Stockholm syndrome is not the same as happiness Das.

Shut up, yes it is

I mean, Ender doesn't have Stockholm syndrome. Ask Psy.

Doctor Doom · January 11, 2016, 03:25:59 PM

1 - For every three wishes I use, including this one, I get three more wishes.
2 and beyond - Probably trivial shit at this point.

🍁 Aria 🔮 · January 11, 2016, 03:39:19 PM

1. No monkey paw effects on wishes.
2. Naturally exhibit the effects of NZT-48 (Limitless) with no negative consequences.

And I'd save the third wish for a rainy day.

Ender · January 11, 2016, 03:46:11 PM

Quote from: DAS THE HALLS on January 11, 2016, 02:11:45 PM

Quote from: Ender on January 11, 2016, 02:09:16 PM
2. To be always happy
Hi.

no

Verbatim · January 11, 2016, 03:47:24 PM

Quote from: Prime Megaten on January 11, 2016, 03:39:19 PM

1. No monkey paw effects on wishes.

i'm just sitting here trying to think of a way to corrupt this

OT:
the permanent and instantaneous destruction of all that exists (of course)

🍁 Aria 🔮 · January 11, 2016, 03:50:52 PM

Quote from: Fuddy Duddy II on January 11, 2016, 03:47:24 PM

Quote from: Prime Megaten on January 11, 2016, 03:39:19 PM
1. No monkey paw effects on wishes.
i'm just sitting here trying to think of a way to corrupt this

OT:
the permanent and instantaneous removal of all that exists (of course)

I don't trust wishes from strangers after all the works I've seen about genies and alike. I wouldn't want anything too rich, just the ability to do anything that I want to do within this lifetime. Like writing a large series of novels, creating films, composing large scores, etc.

Verbatim · January 11, 2016, 04:00:15 PM

Quote from: Prime Megaten on January 11, 2016, 03:50:52 PM

Quote from: Fuddy Duddy II on January 11, 2016, 03:47:24 PM
Quote from: Prime Megaten on January 11, 2016, 03:39:19 PM
1. No monkey paw effects on wishes.
i'm just sitting here trying to think of a way to corrupt this

OT:
the permanent and instantaneous removal of all that exists (of course)
I don't trust wishes from strangers after all the works I've seen about genies and alike. I wouldn't want anything too rich, just the ability to do anything that I want to do within this lifetime. Like writing a large series of novels, creating films, composing large scores, etc.

No, I'm just taking the piss. I'm trying to come up with a monkey's paw effect for the no-monkey's-paw-effect wish.

Like, maybe he takes "monkey's paw" literally, or something. You'd have to word it very carefully.

Now, my wish is worded very carefully such that it couldn't possibly be corrupted.

🍁 Aria 🔮 · January 11, 2016, 04:04:31 PM

Quote from: Fuddy Duddy II on January 11, 2016, 04:00:15 PM

Quote from: Prime Megaten on January 11, 2016, 03:50:52 PM
Quote from: Fuddy Duddy II on January 11, 2016, 03:47:24 PM
Quote from: Prime Megaten on January 11, 2016, 03:39:19 PM
1. No monkey paw effects on wishes.
i'm just sitting here trying to think of a way to corrupt this

OT:
the permanent and instantaneous removal of all that exists (of course)
I don't trust wishes from strangers after all the works I've seen about genies and alike. I wouldn't want anything too rich, just the ability to do anything that I want to do within this lifetime. Like writing a large series of novels, creating films, composing large scores, etc.
No, I'm just taking the piss. I'm trying to come up with a monkey's paw effect for the no-monkey's-paw-effect wish.

Like, maybe he takes "monkey's paw" literally, or something. You'd have to word it very carefully.

Now, my wish is worded very carefully such that it couldn't possibly be corrupted.

I could always wish to have no wish exceed or divert from my intended meaning; no effects from my wish that were outside of my intent occuring.

Batch · January 11, 2016, 04:38:44 PM

Save em. Things arent so bad and I might really need them some day, prevent an apocalypse and whatnot