Okay so, my Christmas has been going okay. I woke up and I went over to my parent’s house from my apartment to open presents. I got a drum kit from my parents, plus some really fuzzy socks and a belt. I got a psp from my younger brother, which he almost refused to sell to me, but my mom said she would buy it off him for me. I got myself a kindle, which arrived in the male a couple days ago (kind of my Christmas present to myself). Then I got 45 dollars in amazon gift cards, and a steam gift card from my bro for 20 dollars.
I was pretty upset today, but I had a good morning. We got together at my parent’s house (my childhood home), we opened presents with Christmas music and I cracked jokes about it being “science day”, as to be consistent with my anti religion ways. I ate too much, not by a giant margin, but more than I would like too (which means something to me since I’m a health nut). It was really after that when the fun stopped.
So I had to go to my relatives house on my mom’s side of the family. It’s a 1 story ranch house in a small town in the middle of nowhere, it takes like an hour to drive out there. We sit around with dogs barking (nice dogs when you pet them and lay on the couch with them though). They have nice little nephews, who are sociable and nice. The problem is, it’s just an uncomfortable environment, the people aren’t that friendly. I always end up feeling annoyed, with my dad. No one in that side of the family is really talkative, they don’t really engage with you. There’s one cousin on that side of the family who’s never talked to me, even once.
So my dad and I got pretty sick of the whole scene in there. It was really humid, it made my lids feel heavy right when I walked into the house. I was saying my dad also feels annoyed with it too, we actually both took a walk together after dinner and just sort of vented about the whole thing. It was cool. My parents may not be able to appreciate the heavy music I enjoy, but at least they’re cool understanding people to talk to. I have a good relationship with them. But I’m not kidding though, talking to that side of the family is painful. It’s just so awkward, my muscles were literally twitching, from just the sheer displeasure of trying to speak with them. They’re just anti social.
My cousin is cool though, I sort of wish I could get to know him. One of my cousins on that side of the family has literally never talked to me before, once in my entire life. That’s how fucking weird that side of the family is. They just make no fucking sense. No matter how hard you try to engage with them, it will never result in anything.
So anyways, after I got out of there, I finally got to drive back home. It was like 4 hours out of my day, shouldn’t be a big deal. It felt like fucking forever though, I had a really big headache after it was done. So much so, that I decided to skip going over to my other side of the family’s house afterwards. It’s not a big deal though, I got to see them last night at the Christmas eve party. I got upset because I was missing them, but then I called them up and it turned out that they were just watching A Christmas Story (which I have seen like 10 times already). So it’s really not like I missed out on much.
I thought this Christmas was horrible a couple hours ago. To be honest, I always seem to have some sort of a frustrating, unpleasant time on Christmas day. Fortunately the amount of time that I spent being really ‘hit by a car’ upset, was when I finally got home from my mom’s family’s house. After I finally got home, I just lost it. I felt so drained, I just put on kind of a bitchy hissy fit in front of my parents. Yeah, it was stupid, but honestly after you hold in your frustration for so long, it’s like I just started feeling drained. Weak, tired, headache, no patience. I was pushing myself pretty hard, for a while. My dad didn’t seem to be that sympathetic, because he said he had to go through it too.
So I guess that this wasn’t a terrible Christmas. Actually, it was a pretty decent Christmas, by my Christmas standards. That’s kind of amazing actually, because I usually have a god fucking awful time on Christmas. I guess I can attribute myself having such a nice time to finally living on my own for the first time this year. I’ve had so much time to myself, it’s really helped me reach a sort of zen. I feel more relaxed with myself, I feel more in touch with myself. I’m not saying I’m some fucking Buddhist monk, I’m just saying I feel like I have a sense of normalcy in my life now.
come and read about my Christmas