You sit there wondering about the adventures that never happened as you eat your honey nut cheerios, you watch the news, you read that article but you're some place far away, a man dressed in a toad suit knocks your laptop over, you can tell he's a man because there's a bulge in between his legs and before you know it he's already got you in a headlock and then you wake up drowning inside a boiling cauldron, he impales you with a bamboo chopstick and you struggle to fit your legs inside the man's stomach but you're thinking the whole time about what he said before he swallowed you "Find my daughter" you kick through the walls of the stomach and then you find yourself inside a larger stomach and then you've already found the daughter she looks like Kim Kardashian but with a kind smile on her face and you feel you can trust her when she tells you follow her and along the way you fight Ray Jay clones but after everything you've been through you just drop kick him everytime because it wasn't even a good porno and along the way you grow a bean farm and raise 5 grandchildren with Kim your wife except she's still smiling kindly and then one day you're watching CSI Miami and she slits your throat with a bamboo chopstick and then you sit there wondering about the adventures that never happened.