I mean why bother

Whats the point

I need to see my returns on cumrocket coin first

Quote from: FatherlyNick 🇷🇺 on May 18, 2021, 10:58:58 AM

Okay but that's kind of bullshit if that situation doesn't apply to you. What about people who are kicked out and disowned by their family? What if all of someone's family died? What if they assaulted/abused you? Not that I'm saying that someone in that situation should OD, but rather that notion of importance over effort of the people who gave the effort if they don't want anything to do with you anymore or if they're all just dead.

I have to add that she OD'd by accident and had no intention of going out.

In cases where you were abused or disowned, you should keep going just out of spite, to piss off those who wronged you. They would probably be delighted if you end up in a hole somewhere, forgotten. Fuck 'em, keep on living.

In case everyone who cared about you died, idk.

I guess it all comes down to - what is the meaning of your life? If you don't know yet, then make it a goal to find that meaning for yourself.

If you really do not know what to do, make yourself at least useful for others or your country.
Enlist in the army, volunteer in homeless shelters / soup kitchens, hospitals, language schools.

If you cannot build your own life, help someone else with theirs.

Quote from: FatherlyNick 🇷🇺 on May 19, 2021, 06:24:23 AM

Quote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 18, 2021, 04:38:13 PM

Quote from: FatherlyNick 🇷🇺 on May 18, 2021, 10:58:58 AM

Okay but that's kind of bullshit if that situation doesn't apply to you. What about people who are kicked out and disowned by their family? What if all of someone's family died? What if they assaulted/abused you? Not that I'm saying that someone in that situation should OD, but rather that notion of importance over effort of the people who gave the effort if they don't want anything to do with you anymore or if they're all just dead.

I have to add that she OD'd by accident and had no intention of going out.

In cases where you were abused or disowned, you should keep going just out of spite, to piss off those who wronged you. They would probably be delighted if you end up in a hole somewhere, forgotten. Fuck 'em, keep on living.

In case everyone who cared about you died, idk.

I guess it all comes down to - what is the meaning of your life? If you don't know yet, then make it a goal to find that meaning for yourself.

If you really do not know what to do, make yourself at least useful for others or your country.
Enlist in the army, volunteer in homeless shelters / soup kitchens, hospitals, language schools.

If you cannot build your own life, help someone else with theirs.

So do it for the people who put effort into your existence, or do it to spite them is what you're saying. Just to be crystal clear- not suicidal myself and I haven't been for a long as time at this point, but just felt like making the distinction where 'people who brought you into the world care about you' just doesn't apply.

I more or less agree though, persisting to spite people has long been a personal motivator. Volunteering a fuckton for a sense of purpose was also something I did for quite a few years. I think it's an extremely positive outlet for such a situation.

Yeah parents can be the worst people you ever meet in life sometimes.

Quote from: FatherlyNick 🇷🇺 on May 18, 2021, 10:58:58 AM

I've seen people I knew die before their time due to car accidents or OD's. The latter especially pissed me off.

Spoiler

Her father came back home one day (he was a marine sailor and would go away for months sometimes) to find out that his daughter (age four) was dumped in a foster home and the mother fucked off to another country. They were not married.

He spent about a year getting custody rights from the state. As you can imagine, being a single father who leaves home for months at a time would have problems proving he is capable of caring for a child.

Eventually they agree to let him get his own daughter back but regular visits were required.
He got a different job, so he could spend the required time at home and also got a babysitter.

Fast forward a few years, the girl is sixteen and her cunt friends start playing with drugs, she very quickly deteriorates and ODs not long after.

What an absolute waste of life. I can't even imagine what the father must have felt.

^ The point I'm making above is that someone out there put effort into your life. Someone out there cares. Do you really want to shit on them like that by offing yourself?

I often think about what it would be like if some of the people who died prematurely - would still be around today.

Unless you really feel like you have 100%-ed life, you have a reason to keep living another day. Or if you feel like there is no reason to keep going anymore, you know how empty it feels - make it your mission to make sure the people around you never feel like that.

lmao this is so insensitive

The father didn't own his daughter's life, and she owed him nothing. It's her life, that she was monstrously forced into by her cruel parents. I don't care how much unasked-for "work" someone puts into their friend or child's life, that doesn't give them a stake in it.

As for OP, don't kill yourself. There are so many beautiful, amazing things in this world. Invincible season 1 just came out ffs

I don't feel like putting a poker in the fire, but I will. You're not considering both sides of the fence here. If the father had no stake in his kid's life, he would have fucked off and let things happen as they did. But he decided to stay, help try to raise the kid right even though it's nearly impossible as a single parent. You're treating all parents as losers that expect something back from the work they put into their kids. You'd be right for a percentage of them, and those are the losers.

A real parent or a friend puts the time in not because they expect a return, but because they genuinely want to help somebody else succeed, feel better, or have a better life. And from the stance of a parent, or anybody, watching a kid commit slow suicide because of drugs is sad no matter how you frame it, and a waste, because it's a waste of potential to what that person could have been.

I don't give a shit if anybody believes it. I traveled for about a year, maybe two with a person who was disowned by her parents just for liking women rather than men. She was a talented musician on the street, smart enough to attend university medical fields. But she got hooked on bad shit when some asshole spiked her drugs with the hard shit. And she didn't have the strength to beat it. So she died homeless. I carried her with me to a hospital just to try and get her up from the OD, but that was it. She could have done more, been more, and her parents didn't even give enough of a shit to want her ashes back.

She owed nothing to me and yet I still feel so empty that it ended that way, and that's because I tried to stick with her and help because what would've made me the happiest for her would be to see her back on her feet and at peace. She didn't deserve that particular end. Most people don't.

It's not about what I or anybody puts into it. It's about the loss incurred when it could've turned out differently. If you believe everybody can be redeemed, then that belief must therefore extend to potential. Everybody has potential for something, and when they don't strive for it or reach it, when they die even though they had the chance to turn it around, that is sad, and a waste no matter how you frame it. It also causes great pain for those left behind.

Sometimes I have good dreams about her. I see her face and that smile, I hear a tune. Sometimes I still have nightmares about a walk that never ends and the weight of another body on me as I try to run as fast as I can down a corridor with no end. She always dies.

Coomer, you want some food for thought since I've nothing better to do at the moment?

My first suicide attempt left a mark on me. Death's got a pull on me in my mind at all times. Quieter now than it was before, but still there. I'd just like to surrender. Be pretty easy too. I don't feel hunger anymore, and in isolation with no contact from people I implode within a few days, stop eating and just sleep. Easy to starve myself.

I regularily have to ask myself why I haven't just let it win yet. Logically speaking, I'll die someday anyway. What's the difference if it's now or later? Logical answer I think to myself. I have no information on what happens after we're dead. Nor if there's such a thing as pre "life." Where was I before I knew this particular existence? Where will I go after? There's no theory out there with credible evidence. However, consequence is a thing. If for whatever reason there was something after death or before life(maybe it's the same thing), there'd be consequences to me committing suicide. We cannot escape the rule of causality, even in death.

There's plenty of motivators. I ask myself what my significant other would think. She'd have called me a fucking idiot for trying to blow my head apart with a shotgun. And she would've helped me back onto my feet. The few family I have left would be devastated.

Most of all I try to stay in the game because I know I can make a bit of a difference. I hate seeing other people in trouble because I think, "Shit, what if they feel like I did? I can alter that by intervening and be the person I needed in my life when I was down and out but never got, just for somebody else."

That's good enough for me to keep trying. Besides. If we assume there's nothing after death, then what's a lifetime compared to infinite nothing? No matter how much pain or suffering there is, it's nothing compared to infinite unawareness that you won't feel or be aware of in terms of time.

I also remember what it was to be totally emotionally stunted. No emotional responses or the ability to recognize that I felt anything. The feeling of true emptiness is a unique hell to exist in. I've got fragments of emotional responses back, and I'm thankful for the ability to feel pain or distress when I do.

The actual reality of pain is that it's as much a gift as feeling happy, because without it, being empty is infinitely worse. It's just that with pain, we can get caught up in feeling it, in the same way we chase after happiness. It's a bit like an actor getting into character. Play the character long enough and you become the character. Felling happy or like shit is exactly the same.

I can't re-iterate that one enough to ya. If I had a choice? To feel empty like I did before, or to feel just pain or discomfort? I'd pick pain and discomfort any day because the nothing is just.... the worst. I know it sounds funny that feeling nothing can be the worst. But it is. I'm still fragments of nothing in certain places. Those patches of emptiness are the only things left that I can think of that still frighten me.

Course, other people just don't kill themselves because they're happy and stable human beings with little to no baggage. Pretty simple, that.

Quote from: FatherlyNick 🇷🇺 on May 18, 2021, 10:58:58 AM

I've seen people I knew die before their time due to car accidents or OD's. The latter especially pissed me off.

Spoiler

Her father came back home one day (he was a marine sailor and would go away for months sometimes) to find out that his daughter (age four) was dumped in a foster home and the mother fucked off to another country. They were not married.

He spent about a year getting custody rights from the state. As you can imagine, being a single father who leaves home for months at a time would have problems proving he is capable of caring for a child.

Eventually they agree to let him get his own daughter back but regular visits were required.
He got a different job, so he could spend the required time at home and also got a babysitter.

Fast forward a few years, the girl is sixteen and her cunt friends start playing with drugs, she very quickly deteriorates and ODs not long after.

What an absolute waste of life. I can't even imagine what the father must have felt.

^ The point I'm making above is that someone out there put effort into your life. Someone out there cares. Do you really want to shit on them like that by offing yourself?

I often think about what it would be like if some of the people who died prematurely - would still be around today.

Unless you really feel like you have 100%-ed life, you have a reason to keep living another day. Or if you feel like there is no reason to keep going anymore, you know how empty it feels - make it your mission to make sure the people around you never feel like that.

lmao this is so insensitive

The father didn't own his daughter's life, and she owed him nothing. It's her life, that she was monstrously forced into by her cruel parents. I don't care how much unasked-for "work" someone puts into their friend or child's life, that doesn't give them a stake in it.

As for OP, don't kill yourself. There are so many beautiful, amazing things in this world. Invincible season 1 just came out ffs

I concluded with the wrong point with that whole story. I have to again highlight - she OD'd by accident and did not intend to kill herself that day.

What I wanted to actually say is that life almost screwed her over but her dad got her out and raised her, so she had the opportunity to live just fine but it was wasted instead. She's not a retard for dying by accident, she's a retard for playing with drugs.
This is why I feel sorry for the father, he did everything we would expect from a parent, he actually wanted a good life for her.

because although life is a festering pile of shit, there are things i still need to accomplish that cannot be accomplished if i'm dead

Everyone dies.

Quote from: dahuterschuter on May 27, 2021, 06:21:53 PM

Everyone dies.

Die with me

We'll both be dead at the same time eventually.  I'll come hold your hand when we get there.