Quote from: extreme mursuiting 1971 on May 05, 2017, 08:39:18 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on May 05, 2017, 06:23:34 PM

Quote from: challengerX on May 05, 2017, 05:32:58 PM

None of these

Depression is a meme, man up and go do things and meet people. Guarantee 95% of you will feel better and the rest of you need medication.

I refuse to take medication.

motherfucker dont tell me this has to do with you being straight edge

No, it's an ego thing. I just believe I have the mental fortitude to surmount pretty much anything, and I don't want to compromise that for anything. I'm not saying it's rational of me--it's probably the most irrational thing that I believe--but like Epsira said, the thought of being dependent on a drug, instead of my own personal strength and willpower, just KILLS me inside. I won't do it.

dude, if it's literally chemical fuckup in your brain, i dont think just willpower will be enough to overcome that. if you had a physical debilitation that was out of your control you'd take a treatment, wouldn't you?

Quote from: extreme mursuiting 1971 on May 05, 2017, 08:45:30 PM

anyways i aint got depression, the only ones i hit are "delete/throws away art"

Huh, people actually do this? Or do you only do this to digital art?

i've thrown away so many drawings on paper and if i dont like something im doing digitally ill either erase it or never revisit it

Quote from: BaconShelf on May 05, 2017, 04:29:37 PM

>when literally none of these apply to you

feels good man

you don't come across to me as someone with good eating habits

I have three meals a day with proper breakfast. And I rarely have takeout or fast food or snack often.

Granted, that's because I'm still with my parents and ny mum's a really good cook. Could change when I'm by myself.

So I dunno. I don't have bad eating habits, and I always took the good eating habits thing in the context of the chart to mean eating well-rounded meals regularly, having breakfast and whatnot. One of my friends I have a suspsicious feeling is depressed and he skips meals a lot of days because he never feels like eating and when he does it's a lot of the time just takeout. I suppose I'm just using him as a baseline.

Invite me to dinner. I want to eat your mom's food, chat with your family and then play some Battlefield 1

>no splitscreen

Quote from: BaconShelf on May 06, 2017, 05:05:47 AM

Quote from: Desty on May 06, 2017, 05:04:07 AM

Invite me to dinner. I want to eat your mom's food, chat with your family and then play some Battlefield 1

>no splitscreen

does your mom have that funny accent you have

I guess

I mean I don't hear an accent so I couldn't say

Quote from: challengerX on May 06, 2017, 06:05:01 AM

Quote from: BaconShelf on May 06, 2017, 05:05:47 AM

Quote from: Desty on May 06, 2017, 05:04:07 AM

Invite me to dinner. I want to eat your mom's food, chat with your family and then play some Battlefield 1

>no splitscreen

does your mom have that funny accent you have

I guess

I mean I don't hear an accent so I couldn't say

does she verbally bane post as much as you

Quote from: Verbatim on May 05, 2017, 09:45:37 PM

Quote from: challengerX on May 05, 2017, 09:35:13 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on May 05, 2017, 09:32:27 PM

Quote from: extreme mursuiting 1971 on May 05, 2017, 08:39:18 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on May 05, 2017, 06:23:34 PM

Quote from: challengerX on May 05, 2017, 05:32:58 PM

None of these

Depression is a meme, man up and go do things and meet people. Guarantee 95% of you will feel better and the rest of you need medication.

I refuse to take medication.

motherfucker dont tell me this has to do with you being straight edge

No, it's an ego thing. I just believe I have the mental fortitude to surmount pretty much anything, and I don't want to compromise that for anything. I'm not saying it's rational of me--it's probably the most irrational thing that I believe--but like Epsira said, the thought of being dependent on a drug, instead of my own personal strength and willpower, just KILLS me inside. I won't do it.

If you have a severe chemical imbalance, willpower will only get you so far. Just face it, you need medication.

You can't will clinical depression away any more than you can will cancer away.

The thing is, I view such an action as defeat. Do you think I like losing? Do you think the idea of being dependent on drugs makes me happy? You don't think that would make it worse, because of how I am?

I sure would.

You're hanging from a cliff and the meds are some guy extending his hand to pull you up. You can't pull yourself up because you're physically incapable due to a birth defect. It's not your fault. There's nothing wrong with accepting help.

And if it doesn't work? If I end up in an even worse position?

Once you try a drug, you can't undo that. That mark of failure and defeat is part of your history forever, whether it works out for you or not. Why would I want to live with that?

Defeat is letting depression remain unchecked.

Antidepressants are not all dependency inducing, really the only ones that are haven't been used widely since the 80s/90s. The more recent (relatively speaking) lines of medication are not addictive in the clinical sense, there is always the chance of psychological dependency, but then that is pretty much down to self-belief/willpower rather than the medication being habit forming.

As challenger has said, you can't win a fight with both hands tied behind your back.

Well, addiction isn't what I'm worried about--psychodependency is. I'm like an animal in a cage, and I know that my masters (the drugs) will let me out of the cage, so long as I do some humiliating, dehumanizing trick for them. My mood and emotions are under something else's control. That's how I feel, and I don't know how comfortable I am with that.

I've always been a very indignant person who, if you tell me that I "can't" do something, I'm gonna take that as a challenge. It fuels my desire to prove the statement wrong, since one of my favorite things to do in the world, after being doubted, is to make people eat their words. That's just how I feel.

So I'll show you how to fight with your hands tied. Maybe if I were hog-tied, but I don't feel hog-tied. My depression isn't something that debilitates me in any way. I'm not suicidal. The two worst things about it is that it makes me extremely tired, and it shoots my anxiety through the roof, making social interaction more difficult than it needs to be, but I can still handle it. I don't feel anxious at all on the Internet, and that's where I interact with the most people anyway. I used to lash out at people on a hair-trigger, but I learned to control that.

I just don't see it as a big enough problem to where I need to take such drastic measures as take medication. Maybe for other people, it would be, but again, I just consider myself too strong, mentally, to let it be a major problem.

If the depression is not just mild/circumstance related, and is more along the lines of MDD/Clinical depression then you will essentially need the medication to turn the tide. When your brain is depressed, as opposed to your way of thinking, the neurochemistry is fucked and quite frankly you can't just think/will yourself back into being happy again.

The medication (depending on the type mind you, they all act through different mechanisms to achieve a similar goal) will make the minor changes over the course of several months to restore* the original balance of NTs in your brain. When that effect is going up instead of down (i.e depression further depleting the NT levels), that is where willpower comes in and you start to beat it.

*Or at least bring it closer to a healthy balance.

By "original balance," I assume you just mean "where they should be." I've come to realize lately that I've always felt the way I do about stuff--it's just become amplified, because all of the fears of adulthood that I had as a child are coming true.

I'd love to be happy, but I just want to be happy on my own terms. I don't want to be happy because I'm supposed to be happy--I want to be happy because I did something great, and I'm still trying to work towards that. I'm not saying it'll "cure" me--again, I don't know how interested I am in a "cure" if it involves artificial happiness. If that's the only happiness I'll ever be able to achieve, then maybe I can live without it.

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