Ask a Barista: No Fucks to be Given.

Kitsune 狐 | Mythic Invincible!
 
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What coffee should I get?

Depends on your pallet. Do you like a darker roast, medium bodied roast, or light roast?
Also, how much caffeine do you require?
Been drinking mostly darker roast, but that's just what I have on hand. As much caffeine as possible.
I always get overwhelmed going to starbucks. Too many choices, and they use stupid names for their sizes. Small = tall. Vinte grande  ::)

If I don't get a frap I just have someone else order for me. Not much of a coffee connoisseur yet. Didn't care for it for the longest time.


Here's why the sizes are all fucked up.

Once upon a time there was only the short 8oz cup
then came the 12oz the tall
and then they decided to get a larger cup and made the grande.
At last they created the 20oz venti,
and then they done fucked up with the 31oz and called it Trenta.


 
Verbatim
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FUCKING GOD DAMN FRAPPUCCINOS.

I fucking hate making them.
As soon as some hits I'm up to my elbows in frappuccinos which ends up smelling like rotten sweet milk and feeling like a whole foot ball team decided to play cum biscuit with my fucking arms.

I want to slap those people who order five frappuccinos in one order and none of them are the same kind.
i'm glad i don't drink coffee, otherwise this would make me feel super self-conscious when i order something lol

i HATE that feeling of, "wow, what if this person fucking hates me for ordering this"


🂿 | Mythic Unfrigginbelievable!
 
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What coffee should I get?

Depends on your pallet. Do you like a darker roast, medium bodied roast, or light roast?
Also, how much caffeine do you require?
Been drinking mostly darker roast, but that's just what I have on hand. As much caffeine as possible.
I always get overwhelmed going to starbucks. Too many choices, and they use stupid names for their sizes. Small = tall. Vinte grande  ::)

If I don't get a frap I just have someone else order for me. Not much of a coffee connoisseur yet. Didn't care for it for the longest time.


Here's why the sizes are all fucked up.

Once upon a time there was only the short 8oz cup
then came the 12oz the tall
and then they decided to get a larger cup and made the grande.
At last they created the 20oz venti,
and then they done fucked up with the 31oz and called it Trenta.

Wow. What the fuck where they thinking?


 
challengerX
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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Batch | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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FUCKING GOD DAMN FRAPPUCCINOS.

I fucking hate making them.
As soon as some hits I'm up to my elbows in frappuccinos which ends up smelling like rotten sweet milk and feeling like a whole foot ball team decided to play cum biscuit with my fucking arms.

I want to slap those people who order five frappuccinos in one order and none of them are the same kind.
i'm glad i don't drink coffee, otherwise this would make me feel super self-conscious when i order something lol

i HATE that feeling of, "wow, what if this person fucking hates me for ordering this"
You dont seem the person to go to McDonalds, but do they have that 'make your own order' thing over there? A buddy of mine made this....thing which came to about $20 just of meat, someone back there hates him....you probably think he's satan too xD


eggsalad | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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Are you at the liberty to tell those retarded mother fuckers who walk into the place at closing time to fuck off.
because fuck those people


 
DAS B00T x2
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
Whenever I get a large black coffee at starbucks the people either look at me funny or look sad that they don't get to use any of the nifty machines behind the counter. Is my order that strange?


 
Verbatim
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Whenever I get a large black coffee at starbucks the people either look at me funny or look sad that they don't get to use any of the nifty machines behind the counter. Is my order that strange?
they look at you funny because why would you drink coffee black


 
DAS B00T x2
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
Whenever I get a large black coffee at starbucks the people either look at me funny or look sad that they don't get to use any of the nifty machines behind the counter. Is my order that strange?
they look at you funny because why would you drink coffee black
How do you think I got my chest to finally grow hair?


Korra | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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uhhh...

- korrie
Alright Pigtails, what's the best way to celebrate Valentine's Day?


Kitsune 狐 | Mythic Invincible!
 
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What coffee should I get?

Depends on your pallet. Do you like a darker roast, medium bodied roast, or light roast?
Also, how much caffeine do you require?
Been drinking mostly darker roast, but that's just what I have on hand. As much caffeine as possible.
I always get overwhelmed going to starbucks. Too many choices, and they use stupid names for their sizes. Small = tall. Vinte grande  ::)

If I don't get a frap I just have someone else order for me. Not much of a coffee connoisseur yet. Didn't care for it for the longest time.


Here's why the sizes are all fucked up.

Once upon a time there was only the short 8oz cup
then came the 12oz the tall
and then they decided to get a larger cup and made the grande.
At last they created the 20oz venti,
and then they done fucked up with the 31oz and called it Trenta.

Wow. What the fuck where they thinking?

"Money."


Kitsune 狐 | Mythic Invincible!
 
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FUCKING GOD DAMN FRAPPUCCINOS.

I fucking hate making them.
As soon as some hits I'm up to my elbows in frappuccinos which ends up smelling like rotten sweet milk and feeling like a whole foot ball team decided to play cum biscuit with my fucking arms.

I want to slap those people who order five frappuccinos in one order and none of them are the same kind.
i'm glad i don't drink coffee, otherwise this would make me feel super self-conscious when i order something lol

i HATE that feeling of, "wow, what if this person fucking hates me for ordering this"

Aww I wouldn't mind making your coffee verb. It's just those annoying white girls with attitudes I dislike.


Jive Turkey | Mythic Invincible!
 
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Does Starbucks only hire attractive people? No flirt but I've only seen attractive workers at every Starbucks I've ever been to

Also rate the enjoyment of your job 1-10


Kitsune 狐 | Mythic Invincible!
 
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FUCKING GOD DAMN FRAPPUCCINOS.

I fucking hate making them.
As soon as some hits I'm up to my elbows in frappuccinos which ends up smelling like rotten sweet milk and feeling like a whole foot ball team decided to play cum biscuit with my fucking arms.

I want to slap those people who order five frappuccinos in one order and none of them are the same kind.
i'm glad i don't drink coffee, otherwise this would make me feel super self-conscious when i order something lol

i HATE that feeling of, "wow, what if this person fucking hates me for ordering this"
You dont seem the person to go to McDonalds, but do they have that 'make your own order' thing over there? A buddy of mine made this....thing which came to about $20 just of meat, someone back there hates him....you probably think he's satan too xD

Nah I have a pretty complicated favorite drink. So I understand when someone wants it a certain way... Unless it is asking for a 190 degree venti latte with no foam. Fuck those people!

Are you at the liberty to tell those retarded mother fuckers who walk into the place at closing time to fuck off.
because fuck those people

I'm a shift supervisor so I do have the liberty to do so, but usually I don't. I smile politely, give them their drinks, and then tell them we're closed. If they try to come in while I'm trying to lock the door I tell them we're closed. This one guy had a huge hissy fit over it and I almost had to call the cops on him.

Fun fact: cops love baristas we give them free coffee, and they tell me a lot of stories of incidents that have happened in my area.
Whenever I get a large black coffee at starbucks the people either look at me funny or look sad that they don't get to use any of the nifty machines behind the counter. Is my order that strange?

No it's very normal actually. A lot of people come in just for black coffee!

Alright Pigtails, what's the best way to celebrate Valentine's Day?

Not at Starbucks, but if you do go we usually have specials. This year we offered a French press of your choice of coffee and two chocolate croissants for $10. They took $5 off.
Last Edit: June 02, 2015, 06:44:17 PM by Kitsunekun