Masturbate more than three times a week.

Yes.

Listen almost exclusively to Metal or Black Metal.

Not exclusively, but I've recently been introduced to Nine Inch Nails if that counts.

Gaming and Internet take up the majority of your free time.

It's more of a "well, I've got nothing better to do" type of deal. But otherwise, no.

Have used one or more Internet memes in real life.

Sure, but only ironically.

Haven't been outside in the past 10 hours.

I have.

Have never travelled outside your own country.

I have. Multiple times.

Own more than 100 video games.

In my life? Sure. Currently? Probably not.

Collect anime/comic books.

Yes, absolutely. Dragon Ball Z, Naruto, as well as DC and Marvel comics.

Room is currently a disaster.

No, I have OCD so I'm constantly cleaning.

Virgin.

Yep.

Claim to be a Nihilist and/or militant Atheist.

Fuck no. Nihilism is lelworthy, I just enjoy making people look stupid. It just so happens that those people are usually religious.

Go to a Community College or have never attended a University.

Nope. Not yet, anyway.

Visit Facebook.

No, I don't have Facebook.

Don't do your own laundry and/or don't own a washing machine.

No to both. I own a machine and do it myself.

Know more than 5 but fewer than 1000 words in your "best" foreign language.

False. I know much more than 5 words. What a weird question...

Own fewer than 10 article of formal clothing.

As of now, yes. In my life, probably not.

Have long hair.

Yeah, fuck you. I got the Solid Snake mullet going on.

Have no useful talents or athletic skill.

False. I'm a talented athlete and possess multiple useful talents.

Live with parents.

Yes.

Not cleanly shaven.

No, I have some facial hair.

Overweight.

Lolno

Cannot recite at least two lines from Shakespeare.

I can.

Consider video games to be on-par with literature as an art form.

Not most video games, but a few, yes. They have the potential.

Shower/bathe fewer than 5 times a week.

Not usually. Only when I have no plans for the week.

Are unemployed and have been for more than two months.

No, I was working in early July and I start again next week.