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Stupidest things you were told as a child

R o c k e t | Mythic Smash Master
 
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I neither fear, nor despise.
Yes son, you CAN be an astronaut :)









Dad lied -_-

R o c k e t | Mythic Smash Master
 
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I neither fear, nor despise.
Quote from: RustingFloor on October 04, 2014, 07:35:43 AM
Jesus loves you
Evidence to the contrary?

Kinder Graham | Respected Invincible!
 
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TUNNEL SNAKES RULE
(ง ͡͡ ° ͜ ʖ ͡ °)ง
Quote from: Rocketman287 on October 04, 2014, 11:08:50 AM
Quote from: RustingFloor on October 04, 2014, 07:35:43 AM
Jesus loves you
Evidence to the contrary?
None

No other person would let themselves be tortured and killed to protect everybody else

Risay117 | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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Quote from: Ossku on October 04, 2014, 09:03:10 AM
Quote from: Risay117 on October 04, 2014, 08:59:15 AM
That santa is Russian, bullshit, the blood that runs through his veins are as patriotic of Canada as the blood that flows through my vein. I mean look at all the red he dons on. Red and White, a true Canadian.
frack your face. Santa is finnish. He LIVES in Finland.
I am sorry but your father lied to you. You remember how he held back those tears while telling you that Santa is Fin. It was because he was afraid to tell you the truth.

 
Ásgeirr | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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The angel agreed to trade a set of white wings for the head of another demon. Overjoyed, the demon killed one of his own and plucked the head right off its still-warm body.

The angel then led the demon to heaven, where he underwent centuries of the cruelest tortures imaginable. Finally, the pain was so great that he lost consciousness - at which point his dark wings turned the promised shade of white.
Quote from: Risay117 on October 04, 2014, 11:35:04 AM
Quote from: Ossku on October 04, 2014, 09:03:10 AM
Quote from: Risay117 on October 04, 2014, 08:59:15 AM
That santa is Russian, bullshit, the blood that runs through his veins are as patriotic of Canada as the blood that flows through my vein. I mean look at all the red he dons on. Red and White, a true Canadian.
frack your face. Santa is finnish. He LIVES in Finland.
I am sorry but your father lied to you. You remember how he held back those tears while telling you that Santa is Fin. It was because he was afraid to tell you the truth.

Magos Domina | Heroic Invincible!
 
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"if you curse you will have nightmares"

"if you don't go to church the devil will get you"

"Santa wont come down the chimney this year"

"Don't go into that dark room or the boogeyman will get you"

"God knows when you're being bad and he will send you to hell"

"When you steal biscuits your hand will fall off"

"If you say bad things about God the devil will kill you in your sleep"

 
Mega Sceptile | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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Quote from: Kiyohime on October 04, 2014, 11:36:10 AM

"If you say bad things about God the devil will kill you in your sleep"
That doesn't really make sense, does it? I mean, doesn't the devil hate the big man? I think he's be giving you props for hating him, rather than killing you.

Grapes | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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Shitpost King
I think me an Elgaliec (er.. whatever) are the only ones without retarded parents.
Last Edit: October 04, 2014, 12:18:54 PM by Grapes

 
Statefarm | Heroic Invincible!
 
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Moms spaghetti
What's with all the "do blank and the devil will do blank" ITT.

Messed up stuff to tell a child that evil incarnate will carry you away.

 
Casper | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Toys are hereby declared:
ILLEGAL
IMMORAL
UNLAWFUL
 anyone found with a TOY in his possession will be
placed under ARREST and thrown in the DUNGEON!
No kidding!               🅱
"You deserve to be happy."


Kay, mom.

 
More Than Mortal | d-d-d-DANK ✡ 🔥🔥🔥 🌈
 
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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
Quote from: Kinder_ on October 04, 2014, 11:34:33 AM
Quote from: Rocketman287 on October 04, 2014, 11:08:50 AM
Quote from: RustingFloor on October 04, 2014, 07:35:43 AM
Jesus loves you
Evidence to the contrary?
None

No other person would let themselves be tortured and killed to protect everybody else

Protect them from what, exactly?

Jesus died for our sins, and yet we still apparently go to hell.

Besides that, the notion of human sacrifice is barbarous and immoral of itself. I don't know how anybody can stand a religion practically founded on such a principle.

 
Casper | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Toys are hereby declared:
ILLEGAL
IMMORAL
UNLAWFUL
 anyone found with a TOY in his possession will be
placed under ARREST and thrown in the DUNGEON!
No kidding!               🅱
Quote from: Meta Cognition on October 04, 2014, 01:08:34 PM
Quote from: Kinder_ on October 04, 2014, 11:34:33 AM
Quote from: Rocketman287 on October 04, 2014, 11:08:50 AM
Quote from: RustingFloor on October 04, 2014, 07:35:43 AM
Jesus loves you
Evidence to the contrary?
None

No other person would let themselves be tortured and killed to protect everybody else

Protect them from what, exactly?

Jesus died for our sins, and yet we still apparently go to hell.

Besides that, the notion of human sacrifice is barbarous and immoral of itself. I don't know how anybody can stand a religion practically founded on such a principle.
Jesus died for our original sin, the mistake of a selfish woman.  But he wasn't sacrificed, he was sentenced to death by the Romans.

 
Dustin | Heroic Invincible!
 
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This is pathetic, Cheat
This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

The Waifu Master | Legendary Invincible!
 
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Quote from: Death on October 04, 2014, 01:25:28 AM
"You'll never be alone.".
.
..
...
:(

Is kay, mayun.
We're in this together.

 
Sprungli | Heroic Invincible!
 
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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Not much

Other than the 5 second rule, but I discounted that myself when I was about 6, "thank you discovery channel"

Mmmmm Napalm | Legendary Invincible!
 
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gurb
Quote from: Sprungli on October 04, 2014, 02:03:30 PM
Not much

Other than the 5 second rule, but I discounted that myself when I was about 6, "thank you discovery channel"

Finally, we get one that isn't flaunting a fedora.

 
Dopameme | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Your love gets me so high
"Daddy will be home soon, don't worry"

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The Easter Bunny
Santa Clause
The Tooth fairy

You know, that kind of stuff mostly.

 
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