-in the quaint town of lafayette, i stayed at a marriot hotel, which provided a copy of the book of mormon alongside the gideon's bible. written on the inside cover was "do NOT read".
-still in lafayette, i dined at an excellent local restaurant where the owners were personified as alligators in the logo. fucking scalies. in the early hours of the following morning my father ran over an alligator at 80 mph.
-i visited the french quarter of new orleans. it smelled like the bodily fluids of homeless people everywhere. i ate two beignets.
-i used a kangaroo gas station bathroom, which had two swastikas crudely carved into the wall.