A question on Forgiveness: What would you do?

Sandtrap · August 10, 2014, 11:31:15 PM

Feelin' a tad bit melancholy tonight folks. So I have a question for you all. For starters, this isn't a poll thread because I seem too retarded to figure out how to make one tonight. And second, an answer with words can show more than just yes or no. I'd like to see what all of you would do.

So, here's the big question.

Imagine yourself, roughly two or three years old. And you see your father, whoever he is, in an argument with your mother. And suddenly, he lashes out. He hits her hard enough that he breaks her jaw. You have nightmares of the event for years, and as a child, you're quite afraid of him, even long after he's gone.

So my question is, you see him years later. With all that you know of things now that you're older, what do you do?

cxfhvxgkcf-56:7 · August 10, 2014, 11:34:46 PM

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I_IRONMAN_I · August 10, 2014, 11:35:29 PM

I ask what it was all about, firstly, because what the hell.

kush mcgush (ง◕ل͜◕)ง · August 10, 2014, 11:35:59 PM

Korra · August 10, 2014, 11:36:34 PM

Tough one...

Hmmm........ Well, bite his kneecaps off?

Sandtrap · August 10, 2014, 11:37:20 PM

Quote from: SoporificSlash on August 10, 2014, 11:34:46 PM

Break his jaw.

You wouldn't seek answers as to why?

Casper · August 10, 2014, 11:38:17 PM

Collect child support and stay the hell away.

cxfhvxgkcf-56:7 · August 10, 2014, 11:38:20 PM

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Yu · August 10, 2014, 11:39:23 PM

Ask why, then depending on his response, I'll respond accordingly. I wouldn't go as far as punching him, but I would want him to regret his actions and try to ask for forgiveness from my mom.

Sandtrap · August 10, 2014, 11:40:30 PM

Quote from: SoporificSlash on August 10, 2014, 11:38:20 PM

I'm highly against hitting women. To me there is no justification of such an offense.

There's always another side to things. Nothing that may justify it, but, no doubt a reason for why. Some form of understanding from his point of view as to why things happened in the manner that they did.

Sandtrap · August 10, 2014, 11:44:53 PM

Quote from: Casper on August 10, 2014, 11:38:17 PM

Collect child support and stay the hell away.

What if he paid child support?

Ktan Dantaktee · August 10, 2014, 11:58:32 PM

Is he remorseful of what he's done? If he is truly sorry about what he did, then I say forgive him. If he isn't sorry, then don't waste your time with him.

Just note that anger is a hard thing to control; as somebody who had severe anger issues, I speak from experience. Sometimes no matter how hard you try to wrangle it in, you can't always control yourself.

Sandtrap · August 11, 2014, 12:04:36 AM

Quote from: Ktan Dantaktee on August 10, 2014, 11:58:32 PM

Is he remorseful of what he's done? If he is truly sorry about what he did, then I say forgive him. If he isn't sorry, then don't waste your time with him.

Just note that anger is a hard thing to control; as somebody who had severe anger issues, I speak from experience. Sometimes no matter how hard you try to wrangle it in, you can't always control yourself.

He's not a bright person. He says he's sorry, but when it comes down to barebones brass tacks, he's just a big ole' dummy.

I speak from experience too.

Spoiler

That wee little three year old? That was me.

cxfhvxgkcf-56:7 · August 11, 2014, 12:05:22 AM

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Casper · August 11, 2014, 12:09:31 AM

Quote from: Sandtrap on August 10, 2014, 11:44:53 PM

What if he paid child support?

Then move on with your life. The past is in the past.
Let it go.
Let it go.

Seriously, though, I doubt anything warrants breaking a jaw. Besides, he's had how many years to get in contact with you to try an right his wrongs, and as far as I know, he didn't. Does it suck not having the closure you want? Sure. But sometimes just because you get closure doesn't mean things still are settled with you. Sometimes it's better to just not know and try to forget about it the best you can.

Sandtrap · August 11, 2014, 12:14:22 AM

Quote from: SoporificSlash on August 11, 2014, 12:05:22 AM

So what did you do about it?

I visited him, roughly 20 years later. Most of all, I understood why what happened happened. My father is simply the product of those who raised him. He's not too bright, and he's deeply insecure. To put things bluntly, a fair portion of my family is broken. My mother can be a hard person to be around as well.

I didn't ask forgiveness, and I didn't ask him why. All I did was come to say hello, because like it or not, this was the man I came from. I wouldn't be what I was today without the small part he played in my life. And in that regard, it was only fair, that at some point, he got to see the son he still cared about in some small moment, before it was too late for either of us.

He's not bad when he's normal. But he's a mean drunk. It took every piece of what I had not to blow up on him. Roughly 20 years of misery and bullshit was all focused on that one person. I neither hit him, nor did I even speak out against him.

Sandtrap · August 11, 2014, 12:22:50 AM

Quote from: Casper on August 11, 2014, 12:09:31 AM

Then move on with your life. The past is in the past.
Let it go.
Let it go.

Seriously, though, I doubt anything warrants breaking a jaw. Besides, he's had how many years to get in contact with you to try an right his wrongs, and as far as I know, he didn't. Does it suck not having the closure you want? Sure. But sometimes just because you get closure doesn't mean things still are settled with you. Sometimes it's better to just not know and try to forget about it the best you can.

The fellow wouldn't have been able to find us even if he tried. But, I disagree on closure. The fairest form of the often cruelty of closure is knowing.

Casper · August 11, 2014, 12:28:06 AM

Quote from: Sandtrap on August 11, 2014, 12:22:50 AM

The fellow wouldn't have been able to find us even if he tried. But, I disagree on closure. The fairest form of the often cruelty of closure is knowing.

To each their own. Honestly, there are somethings I'd rather not know in the end.

ABIGCOWPIE · August 11, 2014, 12:31:33 AM

I'M NOT SURE... I CAN HATE ALMOST ANYBODY IF I DON'T DO MY BEST TO FORGIVE THEM.
i WOULD EITHER BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM OR QUESTION HIM. IF I QUESTIONED HIM AND HE WAS REALLY SORRY I WOULD USE THAT TO TORTURE HIM. TEAR HIM UP BY ASKING THE QUESTIONS THAT WILL MAKE HIM REMEMBER EVERY LITTLE DETAIL OF WHAT HE DID.

Prototype · August 11, 2014, 02:09:13 AM

Forgive him cos why not.

TB · August 11, 2014, 02:11:20 AM

Quote from: Prototype on August 11, 2014, 02:09:13 AM

Forgive him cos why not.

He bitch slapped your mom into next year?

challengerX · August 11, 2014, 04:36:03 AM

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Super Irish · August 11, 2014, 04:38:49 AM

Question him. Ask him why.

If he feels no guilt or repent, deck that fucker.

MattyFez · August 11, 2014, 05:04:45 AM

What if you saw your mother hit your father when you are two or three years old? Does that count?

challengerX · August 11, 2014, 05:06:30 AM

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