A question on Forgiveness: What would you do?

 
Sandtrap
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Feelin' a tad bit melancholy tonight folks. So I have a question for you all. For starters, this isn't a poll thread because I seem too retarded to figure out how to make one tonight. And second, an answer with words can show more than just yes or no. I'd like to see what all of you would do.

So, here's the big question.

Imagine yourself, roughly two or three years old. And you see your father, whoever he is, in an argument with your mother. And suddenly, he lashes out. He hits her hard enough that he breaks her jaw. You have nightmares of the event for years, and as a child, you're quite afraid of him, even long after he's gone.

So my question is, you see him years later. With all that you know of things now that you're older, what do you do?
Last Edit: August 10, 2014, 11:33:47 PM by Sandtrap


 
cxfhvxgkcf-56:7
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I ask what it was all about, firstly, because what the hell.


kush mcgush (ง◕ل͜◕)ง | Ascended Posting Riot
 
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lol 420 careactres


Korra | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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uhhh...

- korrie
Tough one...

Hmmm........ Well, bite his kneecaps off?


 
Sandtrap
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Break his jaw.

You wouldn't seek answers as to why?


Casper | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Toys are hereby declared:
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Collect child support and stay the hell away.


 
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Yu | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Ask why, then depending on his response, I'll respond accordingly. I wouldn't go as far as punching him, but I would want him to regret his actions and try to ask for forgiveness from my mom.


 
Sandtrap
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I'm highly against hitting women. To me there is no justification of such an offense.

There's always another side to things. Nothing that may justify it, but, no doubt a reason for why. Some form of understanding from his point of view as to why things happened in the manner that they did.


 
Sandtrap
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Collect child support and stay the hell away.

What if he paid child support?


Ktan Dantaktee | Posting Spree
 
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Is he remorseful of what he's done? If he is truly sorry about what he did, then I say forgive him. If he isn't sorry, then don't waste your time with him.

Just note that anger is a hard thing to control; as somebody who had severe anger issues, I speak from experience. Sometimes no matter how hard you try to wrangle it in, you can't always control yourself.


 
Sandtrap
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Is he remorseful of what he's done? If he is truly sorry about what he did, then I say forgive him. If he isn't sorry, then don't waste your time with him.

Just note that anger is a hard thing to control; as somebody who had severe anger issues, I speak from experience. Sometimes no matter how hard you try to wrangle it in, you can't always control yourself.

He's not a bright person. He says he's sorry, but when it comes down to barebones brass tacks, he's just a big ole' dummy.

I speak from experience too.
Spoiler
That wee little three year old? That was me.


 
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Casper | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Toys are hereby declared:
ILLEGAL
IMMORAL
UNLAWFUL
 anyone found with a TOY in his possession will be
placed under ARREST and thrown in the DUNGEON!
No kidding!               🅱
What if he paid child support?

Then move on with your life.  The past is in the past.
Let it go.
Let it go.

Seriously, though, I doubt anything warrants breaking a jaw.  Besides, he's had how many years to get in contact with you to try an right his wrongs, and as far as I know, he didn't.  Does it suck not having the closure you want?  Sure.  But sometimes just because you get closure doesn't mean things still are settled with you.  Sometimes it's better to just not know and try to forget about it the best you can.


 
Sandtrap
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So what did you do about it?

I visited him, roughly 20 years later. Most of all, I understood why what happened happened. My father is simply the product of those who raised him. He's not too bright, and he's deeply insecure. To put things bluntly, a fair portion of my family is broken. My mother can be a hard person to be around as well.

I didn't ask forgiveness, and I didn't ask him why. All I did was come to say hello, because like it or not, this was the man I came from. I wouldn't be what I was today without the small part he played in my life. And in that regard, it was only fair, that at some point, he got to see the son he still cared about in some small moment, before it was too late for either of us.

He's not bad when he's normal. But he's a mean drunk. It took every piece of what I had not to blow up on him. Roughly 20 years of misery and bullshit was all focused on that one person. I neither hit him, nor did I even speak out against him.


 
Sandtrap
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Then move on with your life.  The past is in the past.
Let it go.
Let it go.

Seriously, though, I doubt anything warrants breaking a jaw.  Besides, he's had how many years to get in contact with you to try an right his wrongs, and as far as I know, he didn't.  Does it suck not having the closure you want?  Sure.  But sometimes just because you get closure doesn't mean things still are settled with you.  Sometimes it's better to just not know and try to forget about it the best you can.

The fellow wouldn't have been able to find us even if he tried. But, I disagree on closure. The fairest form of the often cruelty of closure is knowing.


Casper | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Toys are hereby declared:
ILLEGAL
IMMORAL
UNLAWFUL
 anyone found with a TOY in his possession will be
placed under ARREST and thrown in the DUNGEON!
No kidding!               🅱
The fellow wouldn't have been able to find us even if he tried. But, I disagree on closure. The fairest form of the often cruelty of closure is knowing.

To each their own.  Honestly, there are somethings I'd rather not know in the end.


ABIGCOWPIE | Ascended Posting Riot
 
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I'M NOT SURE... I CAN HATE ALMOST ANYBODY IF I DON'T DO MY BEST TO FORGIVE THEM.
i WOULD EITHER BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM OR QUESTION HIM. IF I QUESTIONED HIM AND HE WAS REALLY SORRY I WOULD USE THAT TO TORTURE HIM. TEAR HIM UP BY ASKING THE QUESTIONS THAT WILL MAKE HIM REMEMBER EVERY LITTLE DETAIL OF WHAT HE DID.


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Forgive him cos why not.


 
TB
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#13

Forgive him cos why not.
He bitch slapped your mom into next year?


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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If I'm not here, I'm doing photography. Or I'm asleep. Or in lockdown. One of those three, anyway.

The current titlebar/avatar setup is just normal.
Question him. Ask him why.


If he feels no guilt or repent, deck that fucker.
Last Edit: August 11, 2014, 04:39:05 AM by SuperIrish


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What if you saw your mother hit your father when you are two or three years old? Does that count?


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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