Who here has had suicidal thoughts lately?

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Yep I'm relapsing.

I've been thinking about it this past hour.
It happens. As long as you bounce back, you'll be fine.

I dunno. Things haven't been good lately.

One thing I used to have when I was 18 that I no longer have is my self confidence. Regaining that has been a struggle.


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Yep I'm relapsing.

I've been thinking about it this past hour.
It happens. As long as you bounce back, you'll be fine.

I dunno. Things haven't been good lately.

One thing I used to have when I was 18 that I no longer have is my self confidence. Regaining that has been a struggle.
Well yeah, of course it's going to be a struggle. Having no self confidence is a crippling thing, so it's going to take a decent amount of work to regain. Your own lack of confidence and fear of what others think of you essentially becomes your worst enemy.

It honestly is. Like I don't know about you but there are times where I just feel like I'm going to get massively shat on, so I tend to just give up.


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Yep I'm relapsing.

I've been thinking about it this past hour.
It happens. As long as you bounce back, you'll be fine.

I dunno. Things haven't been good lately.

One thing I used to have when I was 18 that I no longer have is my self confidence. Regaining that has been a struggle.
Well yeah, of course it's going to be a struggle. Having no self confidence is a crippling thing, so it's going to take a decent amount of work to regain. Your own lack of confidence and fear of what others think of you essentially becomes your worst enemy.

It honestly is. Like I don't know about you but there are times where I just feel like I'm going to get massively shat on, so I tend to just give up.
It's pretty much on you to just keep moving forward despite that. Keep moving, even when you don't want to anymore.

My whole life I've been moving forward, and each time I do try to get to the light at the end of the dark tunnel known as contentment, it seems to be farther and farther away.


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Yep I'm relapsing.

I've been thinking about it this past hour.
It happens. As long as you bounce back, you'll be fine.

I dunno. Things haven't been good lately.

One thing I used to have when I was 18 that I no longer have is my self confidence. Regaining that has been a struggle.
Well yeah, of course it's going to be a struggle. Having no self confidence is a crippling thing, so it's going to take a decent amount of work to regain. Your own lack of confidence and fear of what others think of you essentially becomes your worst enemy.

It honestly is. Like I don't know about you but there are times where I just feel like I'm going to get massively shat on, so I tend to just give up.
It's pretty much on you to just keep moving forward despite that. Keep moving, even when you don't want to anymore.
lol, to what extent?


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Yep I'm relapsing.

I've been thinking about it this past hour.
It happens. As long as you bounce back, you'll be fine.

I dunno. Things haven't been good lately.

One thing I used to have when I was 18 that I no longer have is my self confidence. Regaining that has been a struggle.
Well yeah, of course it's going to be a struggle. Having no self confidence is a crippling thing, so it's going to take a decent amount of work to regain. Your own lack of confidence and fear of what others think of you essentially becomes your worst enemy.

It honestly is. Like I don't know about you but there are times where I just feel like I'm going to get massively shat on, so I tend to just give up.
It's pretty much on you to just keep moving forward despite that. Keep moving, even when you don't want to anymore.

My whole life I've been moving forward, and each time I do try to get to the light at the end of the dark tunnel known as contentment, it seems to be farther and farther away.
You don't know if it's clouded or not, it could be closer than you realize but it's always going seem far. Keep moving. Even if you get kicked to the ground, nothing's stopping you from crawling until you can stand back up.

Well that's all I can do in reality, is to move forward and move on, even when others aren't with you because they're dead or just no longer want to deal with you.


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Yep I'm relapsing.

I've been thinking about it this past hour.
It happens. As long as you bounce back, you'll be fine.

I dunno. Things haven't been good lately.

One thing I used to have when I was 18 that I no longer have is my self confidence. Regaining that has been a struggle.
Well yeah, of course it's going to be a struggle. Having no self confidence is a crippling thing, so it's going to take a decent amount of work to regain. Your own lack of confidence and fear of what others think of you essentially becomes your worst enemy.

It honestly is. Like I don't know about you but there are times where I just feel like I'm going to get massively shat on, so I tend to just give up.
It's pretty much on you to just keep moving forward despite that. Keep moving, even when you don't want to anymore.

My whole life I've been moving forward, and each time I do try to get to the light at the end of the dark tunnel known as contentment, it seems to be farther and farther away.
You don't know if it's clouded or not, it could be closer than you realize but it's always going seem far. Keep moving. Even if you get kicked to the ground, nothing's stopping you from crawling until you can stand back up.

Well that's all I can do in reality, is to move forward and move on, even when others aren't with you because they're dead or just no longer want to deal with you.
Those people are in the past. If they're not with you anymore, let it go. Mourn if you have to, but learn to move past it. There's no point in dwelling; your life can continue without them.

That's the bitter and harsh reality isn't it? How? How do people just have the will to do that?

Fortunately I haven't lost anyone I know yet recently, but the fear of losing someone you really care about is still there.


 
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They still show up when I'm in slow moments.


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Yep I'm relapsing.

I've been thinking about it this past hour.
It happens. As long as you bounce back, you'll be fine.

I dunno. Things haven't been good lately.

One thing I used to have when I was 18 that I no longer have is my self confidence. Regaining that has been a struggle.
Well yeah, of course it's going to be a struggle. Having no self confidence is a crippling thing, so it's going to take a decent amount of work to regain. Your own lack of confidence and fear of what others think of you essentially becomes your worst enemy.

It honestly is. Like I don't know about you but there are times where I just feel like I'm going to get massively shat on, so I tend to just give up.
It's pretty much on you to just keep moving forward despite that. Keep moving, even when you don't want to anymore.

My whole life I've been moving forward, and each time I do try to get to the light at the end of the dark tunnel known as contentment, it seems to be farther and farther away.
You don't know if it's clouded or not, it could be closer than you realize but it's always going seem far. Keep moving. Even if you get kicked to the ground, nothing's stopping you from crawling until you can stand back up.

Well that's all I can do in reality, is to move forward and move on, even when others aren't with you because they're dead or just no longer want to deal with you.
Those people are in the past. If they're not with you anymore, let it go. Mourn if you have to, but learn to move past it. There's no point in dwelling; your life can continue without them.

That's the bitter and harsh reality isn't it? How? How do people just have the will to do that?

Fortunately I haven't lost anyone I know yet recently, but the fear of losing someone you really care about is still there.
My family disowned me and I lost the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with in the span of a few months. I've also dealt with a lot of deaths, both friends and relatives. Trust me, it's not impossible to move on.

You're mentally stronger than I am. I don't know how I would survive if I didn't have my family around actually. I don't know how you do it, but keep going. Don't relapse back like I did. Save yourself.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
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β€”β€”Carmen
Yep I'm relapsing.

I've been thinking about it this past hour.
It happens. As long as you bounce back, you'll be fine.

I dunno. Things haven't been good lately.

One thing I used to have when I was 18 that I no longer have is my self confidence. Regaining that has been a struggle.
Well yeah, of course it's going to be a struggle. Having no self confidence is a crippling thing, so it's going to take a decent amount of work to regain. Your own lack of confidence and fear of what others think of you essentially becomes your worst enemy.

It honestly is. Like I don't know about you but there are times where I just feel like I'm going to get massively shat on, so I tend to just give up.
It's pretty much on you to just keep moving forward despite that. Keep moving, even when you don't want to anymore.
lol, to what extent?
If you're always working on self improvement, eventually you're going to reach a point where things stop being so hard. It won't feel like you're dragging a thousand tons behind you anymore; life becomes easier and livable. Eventually you learn to stop hating yourself and let go from things in the past, and it opens you up to a new level of mental maturity. You realize that not everything is the end of the world and that things become easier to deal with and overcome when you're no longer fighting yourself the entire way.
But self-improvement only goes so far, and a positive direction doesn't happen inevitably.


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People tell me that a lot. I don't think I'm strong. Just stubborn.
Half the time it felt like I didn't even know why I was moving forward, it was just happening. Like your feet just keep moving even though you don't want them to. Someone curb stomps you to the ground but for some reason you keep dragging yourself along. It was fucking hard, I'm not gonna lie. But that part of my life is over now and I'm glad for it.

Funny that you say that because I'm really stubborn myself. Usually I don't take shit from people.

Quote
Save myself? Bro I'm fine.
Relapsing is a normal and natural part of the process. Like I said, all that matters is how well you bounce back from it.

I hope I can. I mean. I was lucky once to bounce out of the depression I've had for more than 10 years now, I'll be lucky to bounce out of it again.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
β€”Judge Aaron Satie
β€”β€”Carmen
There is no limit to how far someone can improve themselves.
except there totally is

you just do the best with what you have, which sometimes isn't enough


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There is no limit to how far someone can improve themselves.
except there totally is

you just do the best with what you have, which sometimes isn't enough

I know that feeling.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
β€”Judge Aaron Satie
β€”β€”Carmen
There is no limit to how far someone can improve themselves.
except there totally is

you just do the best with what you have, which sometimes isn't enough
That's only if you tell yourself that.
In fact, that's pretty much the entire thing with depression. The only reason why ____ is because you tell yourself that you can't.
It's not all about depression. You can change yourself for the better, sure, but it's not always enough. There's more than issues of mere perspective when people are considering things as serious as suicide.


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There is no limit to how far someone can improve themselves.
except there totally is

you just do the best with what you have, which sometimes isn't enough
That's only if you tell yourself that.
In fact, that's pretty much the entire thing with depression. The only reason why ____ is because you tell yourself that you can't.
It's not all about depression. You can change yourself for the better, sure, but it's not always enough. There's more than issues of mere perspective when people are considering things as serious as suicide.

Class I know I'm not one to really advise anything, but from the things you have said to me, you should seek help if it really is that horrible. You gotta at least try man. I wouldn't be happy if you killed yourself tbh. In actuality it might even encourage me to try.


 
Sandtrap
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Just curious. Can you give me an example of what counts as not enough, Class?


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
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β€”β€”Carmen
Just curious. Can you give me an example of what counts as not enough, Class?
Some things can never change.


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I might relapse if I don't manage to salvage myself in Calc.
Otherwise I've been like literally free of it for the first time in memory.

but we all know how fucking long that lasts


 
Sandtrap
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Just curious. Can you give me an example of what counts as not enough, Class?
Some things can never change.

A lot of things can. And if this is what I think you're talking about, even still, it can. It just requires effort.

Something a lot of people shy away from. That's half of what depression can be sometimes. People's unwillingness to work for what they want. They fool themselves into thinking it's out of reach, because they're afraid to put the effort required in to get it. Depression can slip right in through that and then feed it.
Last Edit: February 02, 2016, 01:14:04 AM by Sandtrap


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Just curious. Can you give me an example of what counts as not enough, Class?
Some things can never change.

A lot of things can. And if this is what I think you're talking about, even still, it can. It just requires effort.

Something a lot of people shy away from. That's half of what depression can be sometimes. People's unwillingness to work for what they want. They fool themselves into thinking it's out of reach, because they're afraid to put the effort required in to get it. Depression can slip right in through that and then feed it.

I guess it really depends on the circumstances and what you want to do.


 
Sandtrap
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Just curious. Can you give me an example of what counts as not enough, Class?
Some things can never change.

A lot of things can. And if this is what I think you're talking about, even still, it can. It just requires effort.

Something a lot of people shy away from. That's half of what depression can be sometimes. People's unwillingness to work for what they want. They fool themselves into thinking it's out of reach, because they're afraid to put the effort required in to get it. Depression can slip right in through that and then feed it.

I guess it really depends on the circumstances and what you want to do.

Part of it is thinking about things logically. It can follow like this. Somebody has an expectation, or a goal. But it's unrealistic. Inevitably the goal will fail because it had no logical founding.

You get nowhere, if you don't have a good base to work off of.  And sometimes, people realize this. And they look at what's actually required to reach their goal. And they shy away.

There's always physical limitations. But there are always ways to overcome the limits if you seriously put your head in the game. And like Nuka said. Part of it is being satisfied.

Essentially, not getting greedy.

For instance. Let's take figure skaters as an example. In order to be a top of the line skater, like world class, you need to have a good, attracive physical appearance, and you actually need the right body type. Long legs, the right height, that sort of thing. If you don't have those, then you'll never be accepted into the top leagues.

But that doesn't mean that you couldn't perform as well as they do. You might not ever be able to reach top league material because of pre-defined things that you can't change, but at the same time, you can still push yourself far. And it's accepting this, that allows you to be content. And if you don't, you'll always hunger for more.

Why do you think greed exists? It exists because people aren't content. They don't stop and use reason, to realize what they have.

I know what class is actually talking about here when he speaks like this. And while what he's talking about is an issue, and a big one, it's not unattainable.


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I did for a while when exam season was really beginning to kick in when I was doing A levels. They hammer into you so much that if you don't do well then you're pretty much a worthless piece of shit that will never amount to anything, I didn't cope witht he stress well. I just ended up not being able to sleep but feeling exhausted all the time, and really lethargic, like, I just didn't have the motivation to do anything, and I never really talked to my parents about it because they just interpret that kind of stuff as being lazy, so I ended up just having it always on my mind. The thing i ever enjoyed of it was coding, because it was the only thing I was actually decent at.

It's kind of why I'm glad I ended up doing realy shit on them instead of barely scrapign a pass. I ended up signing onto a games development course at college and my outlook on life pretty much turned around very quickly, I'm really enjoying it now. I haven't really had any of these kinds of thoughts since july or august of last year, which is good. If I'd have passed, i'd be in the second year, which is a lot tougher than the first year, and I don't know what I'd be like right now.

I doubt I'd have ever gone through with anything, but I got to a point where I reallly wanted to. Learning about heat death of the universe around them probably didn't help, either, as it's a really depressing topic.
Last Edit: February 02, 2016, 02:41:08 AM by BaconShelf


 
Sandtrap
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I guess if we're talking about suicidal thoughts, this would be the place to put it. Something just occured to me.

I've been through worse. On a physical level, I've endured things that have almost knocked me stone cold dead without a chance. But I'm still here. And I've managed to recover in bits and pieces. To the best of my ability. I don't know how long I'll be able to keep it up for. But I'm still here for now.

It's actualy kind of funny to think about. Compared to what's in my head, eating away at me, physically, I've gone through so much worse. I can do something with that. I can do myself a favor and not give in to this.



 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
β€”Judge Aaron Satie
β€”β€”Carmen
realize that your problems are nothing that can't be overcome.
what a worthless platitude
?

I would say most young peoples' problems are nothing that can't be fixed by bringing about some sort of change. If you're not willing to do that, then the thoughts will probably keep coming back.
lmao

Some things literally can't be changed
Those things don't have to keep you down forever, though.
you're just full of idiomatic lines, aren't you
Definitely kill yourself because nothing will ever get better for you. Ever. Everything is a waste of time. Just end it now.

Is that what you want to hear?
I don't want to hear cliches any more than I want to hear that.


 
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SecondClass' trolling in this thread is on point


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
β€”Judge Aaron Satie
β€”β€”Carmen
realize that your problems are nothing that can't be overcome.
what a worthless platitude
?

I would say most young peoples' problems are nothing that can't be fixed by bringing about some sort of change. If you're not willing to do that, then the thoughts will probably keep coming back.
lmao

Some things literally can't be changed
Those things don't have to keep you down forever, though.
you're just full of idiomatic lines, aren't you
Definitely kill yourself because nothing will ever get better for you. Ever. Everything is a waste of time. Just end it now.

Is that what you want to hear?
I don't want to hear cliches any more than I want to hear that.
That's my point. You're not going to hear what you need to hear from us.

I don't have a clue what you're going through or what it's like to have the issue you have. Neither does Jester and even the people that share your condition can't really help you because every individual is different.

You have to deal with this yourself. You can recieve comfort and support from people, but that only helps you on your path to understanding and dealing with yourself. Nobody else can do that for you.
there has been tons of good external advice ITT

empty platitudes aren't part of it


maverick | Legendary Invincible!
 
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realize that your problems are nothing that can't be overcome.
what a worthless platitude
?

I would say most young peoples' problems are nothing that can't be fixed by bringing about some sort of change. If you're not willing to do that, then the thoughts will probably keep coming back.
lmao

Some things literally can't be changed
Those things don't have to keep you down forever, though.
you're just full of idiomatic lines, aren't you
you're just now figuring this out?

edit: read that as "idiotic"
Last Edit: February 03, 2016, 11:18:17 AM by ThirdClass


maverick | Legendary Invincible!
 
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there has been tons of good external advice ITT

empty platitudes aren't part of it
I'm not a psychologist. You asked for advice based on experience on a fucking forum. Not sure how you can expect meaningful insight when you've given us zero context whatsoever. If you want something more, go seek professional help.


 
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I actually get very severely bummed out a lot, mostly when I don't have anything to do(like if I beat a game).

I don't think it's depression though.