Successful Suicide

Busta Nut · October 25, 2016, 08:02:25 PM

So I recently was resuscitated after sucessfully killing myself. Depression, bulimia, generally shitty lifestyle choices finally pushing me over the edge. Was brought back after shock put me under for a few good mintues, and am now a few weeks later heavily medicated whilst burdened with a shit ton of hospital bills. Dunno how this second wind will go but I plan on giving it a fair shot.

Let me tell you that once the pain is gone, it's actually pretty peaceful. What exists beyond the veil of darkness is just a wholeness. I don't know if that's residual neural activitity or what might constitute for an afterlife, but I've never experienced anything quite like it. It's just warm and you feel so light it's amazing.

I know I'm not really an active or particularly well known member, but I just thought I post this and state that I am still amongst you.

maverick · October 25, 2016, 08:10:30 PM

Welcome back

Tyger · October 25, 2016, 08:11:17 PM

Zombie

Busta Nut · October 25, 2016, 08:22:27 PM

Quote from: Maverick on October 25, 2016, 08:10:30 PM

Welcome back

Thanks bruh. Despite drunkness driving my actions, I do feel a sense of content underlying my obviously impaired mind. I've missed this place a lot.

SecondClass · October 25, 2016, 08:42:29 PM

jesus christ, I'm glad you're ok

if you ever need to talk please pm me

Luciana · October 25, 2016, 09:15:57 PM

Damn dude, that's... rough. I know your bills are a burden right now, but please, seek some help with your life. If you wanna give it a second go, try some therapy.

Hope you're doing okay. Yeah if you need PM's to talk, I also offer, though idk how much good I could do. We obviously don't know each other.

MyNameIsCharlie · October 25, 2016, 09:37:14 PM

Quote from: SecondClass on October 25, 2016, 08:42:29 PM

jesus christ, I'm glad you're ok

if you ever need to talk please pm me

Or me

Naru · October 25, 2016, 10:00:09 PM

Wow.. Hopefully you pull through the obstacles in life man. Take care please

clum clum · October 25, 2016, 10:56:33 PM

I am sorry to hear that.

All I can say is: maybe now, armed with the knowledge of what lies on the other side, life won't seem so unbearable anymore? Because, no matter what, death will take you, and return you to the void.

Mattie G Indahouse · October 26, 2016, 03:37:30 AM

R'hllor, the one true god brought you back to life

challengerX · October 26, 2016, 06:08:44 AM

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DAS B00T x2 · October 26, 2016, 09:32:43 AM

So... How'd you do it?

Ian · October 26, 2016, 10:43:55 AM

Please tell me there's a plan for the medical bills. That's incredibly shitty of the doctors to save your life just to put you into medical bill slavery.

Ushan · October 26, 2016, 10:49:04 AM

Can you talk to ghosts yet?

Sαndtrap · October 26, 2016, 07:54:04 PM

Don't have a lot of time on my hands here and there's too much to talk about.

I know that feeling of the void. I know how enchanting it can be. How it can be the only thing that has any colour or meaning in an otherwise dead and grey world around you. Don't follow it. Don't chase after it.

There's a lobe in your brain. Very small. Right in the middle. It's the most protected part of your brain. When you die, that lobe goes into overdrive and pumps out massive levels of some highly potent psychedelic chemical. It's manufactured varient is highly illegal. One of the notable features of it is time dilation. Up to eight minutes after your death, this lobe continues to pump out that chemical. That's a long enough drug trip that you could live out your entire life and more before your brain finally shuts off for good.

I have some questions. The paramedics didn't pay much attention to how you ended up dead? Do you have councilors or psych related docs investigating? I could ask more but maybe you're not comfortable talking out in the open so to speak.

You can pm me. I can't promise how quickly I'll be able to respond. But I will if I'm awake.

Aether · October 26, 2016, 08:20:57 PM

I'm extremely grateful I've never been driven to that point.

I hope you find something or someone to live for.

Alpha · October 26, 2016, 08:42:47 PM

I'm genuinely surprised at the lack of edgy responses in this thread

Winy · October 26, 2016, 08:58:04 PM

Quote from: Alpha on October 26, 2016, 08:42:47 PM

I'm genuinely surprised at the lack of edgy responses in this thread

I think it's because, even though people will readily joke about suicide, it's rare that anyone actually comes into contact with someone who can say that they successfully committed the act, but was revived and can now live to retell the experience. As sad and disturbing as the topic of this thread is, I think it's genuinely fascinating to read about a first-hand experience of successful suicide- Other people might feel similar.

Winy · October 26, 2016, 09:00:11 PM

I do hope you're doing well, OP. I'd try to be a little more extensive with a response but you're in a position I can't even pretend to have experience with.

challengerX · October 26, 2016, 09:19:22 PM

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Winy · October 26, 2016, 09:22:17 PM

Quote from: challengerX on October 26, 2016, 09:19:22 PM

No it's more that we all joke about it but not when somebody is legitimately suicidal or tries to do it

In my experience, that doesn't stop people sometimes.

Busta Nut · October 26, 2016, 09:44:17 PM

Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on October 26, 2016, 09:32:43 AM

So... How'd you do it?

Bled out.

I didn't cut along the veins to ensure a permanent end, but cut deep enough into them that I lost enough blood to actually, you know, die from shock. It was a pretty painful experience, but I decided a long time ago that if I'd commit to it I'd want to at least be aware. Bullets to the brain scare me because of their effectiveness and while I know it's contrary to most expectations, I wanted to know that I was dying at the very end; that all the pain was going to finally be over, and that I at least deserved those final moments of agony for giving up when I did.

It's strange and I won't be an advocate for suicide, but I know my reasons and wouldn't want to go out any other way.

Tyger · October 26, 2016, 11:00:31 PM

Quote from: challengerX on October 26, 2016, 06:08:44 AM

It is Kek's will that you continue living as evidenced by the dubs in your post.

Also, don't PM the broken ass people on here lmao. Get real help and spend time with good people.

lol why the fuck would anyone pm class for psychological help

gats · October 27, 2016, 03:54:54 AM

You're braver than I am dude

R o c k e t · October 27, 2016, 03:59:16 AM

Obi Wan Kenobi, for once, let us help you.

For real tho I'm happy to see you posting again. I actually like you fam don't kill yourself again.

DAS B00T x2 · October 27, 2016, 06:13:45 AM

Quote from: Blankina on October 26, 2016, 09:44:17 PM

Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on October 26, 2016, 09:32:43 AM
So... How'd you do it?
Bled out.

I didn't cut along the veins to ensure a permanent end, but cut deep enough into them that I lost enough blood to actually, you know, die from shock. It was a pretty painful experience, but I decided a long time ago that if I'd commit to it I'd want to at least be aware. Bullets to the brain scare me because of their effectiveness and while I know it's contrary to most expectations, I wanted to know that I was dying at the very end; that all the pain was going to finally be over, and that I at least deserved those final moments of agony for giving up when I did.

It's strange and I won't be an advocate for suicide, but I know my reasons and wouldn't want to go out any other way.

Okay, I'm not gonna lie. That's pretty metal.
I assume the EMT's just wrapped you gauze and started dumping bags of blood in you when they found you?

challengerX · October 27, 2016, 06:49:53 AM

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snurch · October 29, 2016, 01:08:20 AM

Quote from: Sαndtrap on October 26, 2016, 07:54:04 PM

There's a lobe in your brain. Very small. Right in the middle. It's the most protected part of your brain. When you die, that lobe goes into overdrive and pumps out massive levels of some highly potent psychedelic chemical. It's manufactured varient is highly illegal. One of the notable features of it is time dilation. Up to eight minutes after your death, this lobe continues to pump out that chemical. That's a long enough drug trip that you could live out your entire life and more before your brain finally shuts off for good.

thats crazy

big sponge · October 29, 2016, 01:11:52 AM

Quote from: KawaiiKilla666 on October 29, 2016, 01:08:20 AM

Quote from: Sαndtrap on October 26, 2016, 07:54:04 PM
There's a lobe in your brain. Very small. Right in the middle. It's the most protected part of your brain. When you die, that lobe goes into overdrive and pumps out massive levels of some highly potent psychedelic chemical. It's manufactured varient is highly illegal. One of the notable features of it is time dilation. Up to eight minutes after your death, this lobe continues to pump out that chemical. That's a long enough drug trip that you could live out your entire life and more before your brain finally shuts off for good.
thats crazy

What if all of our lives are just one long as fuck drug trip before we actually expire and we're all just figments of one crazy dudes imagination.

Sαndtrap · October 29, 2016, 01:13:01 AM

Quote from: KawaiiKilla666 on October 29, 2016, 01:08:20 AM

Quote from: Sαndtrap on October 26, 2016, 07:54:04 PM
There's a lobe in your brain. Very small. Right in the middle. It's the most protected part of your brain. When you die, that lobe goes into overdrive and pumps out massive levels of some highly potent psychedelic chemical. It's manufactured varient is highly illegal. One of the notable features of it is time dilation. Up to eight minutes after your death, this lobe continues to pump out that chemical. That's a long enough drug trip that you could live out your entire life and more before your brain finally shuts off for good.
thats crazy

Would sound less crazy if I didn't have such half assed memory. The way I described it sounds like some shit tier description you'd hear in a movie trying to explain its premise.

It was a legitimate study I read through. Notable for bringing up the question of why we'd need a function like that in death.