My mother is pissed off, and not talking to me, for two simple reasons

More Than Mortal · November 15, 2014, 07:51:35 AM

First of all, I told her I probably won't want children when I'm older.

Secondly, the two universities I've chosen both involve going abroad for a year to study.

I can see any justification for her being upset with me over these two choices I've made. Surely my life shouldn't be a surrogate for her desires, but it's at the point where day-to-day stuff is incredibly tense because she's so fucking mad at me. I put this in Serious because I want actual advice on how to diffuse the situation.

Spoiler

Super Irish · November 15, 2014, 07:57:34 AM

The first is a little bit understandable, but not worth getting so pissed off over.

But for the second thing? If my course had a year abroad, my parents would be proud I'm experiencing new things which is essentially what Uni is for.

It could be over-attachment for her son (you), but getting pissed at you over that is a tad too far to be just that. Over-protective, over-nurturing perhaps? Need to remember the proper word for this, but it happens a lot where the parents (particularly the mother) don't want the kids to leave, and can go to extreme lengths to stop them as what has happened to one of my friends.

The Lord Ruler · November 15, 2014, 08:20:04 AM

Just give her time.

Sandtrap · November 15, 2014, 09:32:15 AM

It's what moms do. They always get attached . When it comes down to it, it's your life, and she can't stop you. And she should understand that you need your room to expand and grow. Stand your ground, and let that be known.

Not in an insulting way, not in an angry rant. I don't know shit about your mother, but I can tell you this. Don't let her get you angry. Because then it goes into a vicious circle. As they say, keep calm, party on.

Mothers are always clingy, and they'll fight through whatever way neccessary to keep that. Most of all, you gotta remember that this is a woman we're talking about here. Not only is she clinging to her son, but change has just suddenly walked up on her doorstep.

Woman aren't non-understandable mysteries. But they do think differently. And change, abrupt change, for most of them, puts them on guard.

You just:
a) Broke one of her expectations for you
b)Dumped it on her that you'll be headed off into the big wide world soon

She's on guard big time. Personally, I always laugh at folks who say they'll never have kids in the future. The future holds a lot of tricks up its sleeves, and you can't predict them or where they'll lead. Your mom shouldn't be so flustered in that case, but I suppose, that's her way of going on guard.

It all comes down to my first point.

Make it clear that it's your life. And she needs to give you the room to grow. Not insulting, and not angry, because if you say it the wrong way, it could backfire on you BIG TIME. Just calm and easy going.

And you only need to say it once. Most of all, don't approach her bluntly. If you approach her like you're going to talk about university stuff, she'll put her walls up.

You need to do it as if it were a casual conversation.

Magos Domina · November 15, 2014, 10:38:27 AM

I don't want kids either, waaaaay too much responsibility and I plan on keeping some DWA listed animals in the future and I don't want an accident to happen. I can understand her though, she wants to be a grandmother one day, you wouldn't understand OP.

And nawwwwwwwww n.n, Meta is still his mommas little babby.

challengerX · November 15, 2014, 01:16:04 PM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

More Than Mortal · November 15, 2014, 01:17:42 PM

Quote from: challengerX on November 15, 2014, 01:16:04 PM

She doesn't want you to go.

Then she gotta

YouTube

challengerX · November 15, 2014, 01:22:52 PM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

Forgewolf · November 15, 2014, 02:15:40 PM

Quote from: Meta Cognition on November 15, 2014, 07:51:35 AM

First of all, I told her I probably won't want children when I'm older.

Secondly, the two universities I've chosen both involve going abroad for a year to study.

I can see any justification for her being upset with me over these two choices I've made. Surely my life shouldn't be a surrogate for her desires, but it's at the point where day-to-day stuff is incredibly tense because she's so fucking mad at me. I put this in Serious because I want actual advice on how to diffuse the situation.

Spoiler
Yes, I've tried just talking to her about it.
Spoiler
No, it didn't work.
Spoiler
It never works.

You two need to smoke a joint and then have a down to Earth conversation. I bet you'll get all the answers you are looking for an have a deeper insight of what goes on in her head.

Hahahaha very funny Zonda · November 15, 2014, 03:37:22 PM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

big dog · November 15, 2014, 03:45:34 PM

Wow my mum is doing the opposite. Does she want me gone?

November 15, 2014, 03:54:16 PM

Who cares what she thinks? I ripped off the leech that is my mother years ago.

Mr. Psychologist · November 15, 2014, 05:44:03 PM

Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 03:37:22 PM

My mother didn't want to talk to me when I said Death is my God but, then I told her some inappropriate words to describe her Christian God <.<

くら-りんぐいんまいすきん
ぜずをうんつういるねばひある

Hahahaha very funny Zonda · November 15, 2014, 05:54:39 PM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

Mr. Psychologist · November 15, 2014, 05:57:15 PM

Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 05:54:39 PM

Quote from: Mr Psychologist on November 15, 2014, 05:44:03 PM
Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 03:37:22 PM
My mother didn't want to talk to me when I said Death is my God but, then I told her some inappropriate words to describe her Christian God <.<
くら-りんぐいんまいすきん
ぜずをうんつういるねばひある
I have no idea what you said something about a ring?

Kura-ringu in mai sukin
zezu wountsu uiru neba hearu
<.<

Hahahaha very funny Zonda · November 15, 2014, 06:01:30 PM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

Mr. Psychologist · November 15, 2014, 06:02:25 PM

Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 06:01:30 PM

Quote from: Mr Psychologist on November 15, 2014, 05:57:15 PM
Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 05:54:39 PM
Quote from: Mr Psychologist on November 15, 2014, 05:44:03 PM
Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 03:37:22 PM
My mother didn't want to talk to me when I said Death is my God but, then I told her some inappropriate words to describe her Christian God <.<
くら-りんぐいんまいすきん
ぜずをうんつういるねばひある
I have no idea what you said something about a ring?
Kura-ringu in mai sukin
zezu wountsu uiru neba hearu
<.<
>implying I didn't translate it to English to see if I understood
Just tell me whatchu wrote bruh

Kura-ringu in mai sukin
Crawling in my skin
zezu wountsu uiru neba hearu
These wounds will never heal

<_<

Hahahaha very funny Zonda · November 15, 2014, 06:05:01 PM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

Mr. Psychologist · November 15, 2014, 06:08:48 PM

Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 06:05:01 PM

Quote from: Mr Psychologist on November 15, 2014, 06:02:25 PM
Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 06:01:30 PM
Quote from: Mr Psychologist on November 15, 2014, 05:57:15 PM
Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 05:54:39 PM
Quote from: Mr Psychologist on November 15, 2014, 05:44:03 PM
Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 03:37:22 PM
My mother didn't want to talk to me when I said Death is my God but, then I told her some inappropriate words to describe her Christian God <.<
くら-りんぐいんまいすきん
ぜずをうんつういるねばひある
I have no idea what you said something about a ring?
Kura-ringu in mai sukin
zezu wountsu uiru neba hearu
<.<
>implying I didn't translate it to English to see if I understood
Just tell me whatchu wrote bruh
Kura-ringu in mai sukin
Crawling in my skin
zezu wountsu uiru neba hearu
These wounds will never heal

<_<
Ooh ooh
十じゅすとかれどめいえぢじふぉおくうふぁがと

</3

And a little note, 十 doesn't work as You <_<
It's Jyu so ya ゅ= you

Hahahaha very funny Zonda · November 15, 2014, 06:11:52 PM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

Mr. Psychologist · November 15, 2014, 06:17:57 PM

Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 06:11:52 PM

Quote from: Mr Psychologist on November 15, 2014, 06:08:48 PM
Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 06:05:01 PM
Quote from: Mr Psychologist on November 15, 2014, 06:02:25 PM
Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 06:01:30 PM
Quote from: Mr Psychologist on November 15, 2014, 05:57:15 PM
Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 05:54:39 PM
Quote from: Mr Psychologist on November 15, 2014, 05:44:03 PM
Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 03:37:22 PM
My mother didn't want to talk to me when I said Death is my God but, then I told her some inappropriate words to describe her Christian God <.<
くら-りんぐいんまいすきん
ぜずをうんつういるねばひある
I have no idea what you said something about a ring?
Kura-ringu in mai sukin
zezu wountsu uiru neba hearu
<.<
>implying I didn't translate it to English to see if I understood
Just tell me whatchu wrote bruh
Kura-ringu in mai sukin
Crawling in my skin
zezu wountsu uiru neba hearu
These wounds will never heal

<_<
Ooh ooh
十じゅすとかれどめいえぢじふぉおくうふぁがと
</3

And a little note, 十 doesn't work as You <_<
It's Jyu so ya ゅ= you
I know it represents 10 but I'm not saying you
It's jew so ya 十= Jew

Ahh so you are calling me a Jew <______<

Hahahaha very funny Zonda · November 15, 2014, 06:19:30 PM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

Mr. Psychologist · November 15, 2014, 06:20:35 PM

Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 06:19:30 PM

Quote from: Mr Psychologist on November 15, 2014, 06:17:57 PM
Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 06:11:52 PM
Quote from: Mr Psychologist on November 15, 2014, 06:08:48 PM
Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 06:05:01 PM
Quote from: Mr Psychologist on November 15, 2014, 06:02:25 PM
Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 06:01:30 PM
Quote from: Mr Psychologist on November 15, 2014, 05:57:15 PM
Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 05:54:39 PM
Quote from: Mr Psychologist on November 15, 2014, 05:44:03 PM
Quote from: ねこ on November 15, 2014, 03:37:22 PM
My mother didn't want to talk to me when I said Death is my God but, then I told her some inappropriate words to describe her Christian God <.<
くら-りんぐいんまいすきん
ぜずをうんつういるねばひある
I have no idea what you said something about a ring?
Kura-ringu in mai sukin
zezu wountsu uiru neba hearu
<.<
>implying I didn't translate it to English to see if I understood
Just tell me whatchu wrote bruh
Kura-ringu in mai sukin
Crawling in my skin
zezu wountsu uiru neba hearu
These wounds will never heal

<_<
Ooh ooh
十じゅすとかれどめいえぢじふぉおくうふぁがと
</3

And a little note, 十 doesn't work as You <_<
It's Jyu so ya ゅ= you
I know it represents 10 but I'm not saying you
It's jew so ya 十= Jew

Ahh so you are calling me a Jew <______<
あんぢうかるぢめうえどじ >:c

Aha fair enough >.>

I think we should leave meta's thread alone though <.<

Hahahaha very funny Zonda · November 15, 2014, 06:22:27 PM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

Kinder Graham · November 15, 2014, 10:45:18 PM

That mean you're coming to murica if you ahve to go abroad?

Mr. Psychologist · November 15, 2014, 11:45:31 PM

Quote from: Kinder on November 15, 2014, 10:45:18 PM

That mean you're coming to murica if you ahve to go abroad?

RIP Meta, shot for not tipping enough in a restaurant ;_;7

Jim · November 16, 2014, 12:36:03 AM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

Death · November 16, 2014, 03:09:00 AM

The kids thing I understand, every mother wants to become a grandmother.

More Than Mortal · November 16, 2014, 11:16:59 AM

Quote from: Kinder on November 15, 2014, 10:45:18 PM

That mean you're coming to murica if you ahve to go abroad?

Fuck yeah, baby.

DAS B00T x2 · November 16, 2014, 06:25:22 PM

Quote from: Meta Cognition on November 16, 2014, 11:16:59 AM

Quote from: Kinder on November 15, 2014, 10:45:18 PM
That mean you're coming to murica if you ahve to go abroad?
Fuck yeah, baby.

Whoooo! Party!