My little brother might get charged with sexual harassment and IDK what to do...

 
Elai
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Blog rant thing. Not sure if this belongs in serious but I guess we'll see.

He's suspended (from school) for the rest of the week guaranteed but it might worsen and become a legal problem depending on how tomorrow's proceedings go...

I don't know what to do. I'm the eldest brother (I have two younger brothers), and neither I nor my other brother are exactly "sexually charged", if you know what I mean. He's been, from what I can tell, manipulating this depressed (she cuts herself) teenage girl whom he liked into sending her semi-to-full nude photos. Saying things like "Oh, it would make me so happy. Do it for me."

If it were anyone else I'd call him a piece of shit for abusing that poor girl's mindset at the time like that, but I can't condemn him for it. He's my god-damned brother. I don't consider myself the sentimental type, but there have been a few moments in my life where my protective instincts had completely clouded my judgement -- this is one of them.

He tells me that it's one-sided -- that they've only shown the texts that make him look like the bad guy. But he deleted all of the texts off of his phone, so there's no real way to check who's lying, to my knowledge.

I'm just pretty lost on this, to be honest. I'm not exactly in the best place myself, so I feel really overwhelmed at this moment. Has anyone had any similar situations or have any advice? Would really appreciate it.

Sorry if this isn't all that well-written. For obvious reasons I'm not "all there".


 
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Being supportive of a loved one or friend who's been accused of committing a crime isn't unheard of - it's actually quite common, and doesn't mean you're a bad guy. You should be there for him, but you should try to avoid letting it cloud your personal judgement (As in, don't let your protection of him get in the way of listening to the other side and seeing if your brother really did what he is accused of)


 
Elai
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Being supportive of a loved one or friend who's been accused of committing a crime isn't unheard of - it's actually quite common, and doesn't mean you're a bad guy. You should be there for him, but you should try to avoid letting it cloud your personal judgement (As in, don't let your protection of him get in the way of listening to the other side and seeing if your brother really did what he is accused of)

Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do. It's just that so far, the evidence for him doing what he's accused of is pretty substantial. But IDK, I just can't believe someone who I grew up with and mentored and protected would talk to someone, especially a teenage girl, like that. And it's not like he didn't know what he was doing was wrong. The kid is extremely bright.

It's all really hard for me to process right now.


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emigrate or degenerate. the choice is yours
Does he have a tendency for sociopathic behaviour like this? Just curious.

There's nothing wrong with supporting a loved one who has been accused of something allegedly reprehensible. You're his bro. It's completely up to you if you want to support him or not.

Personally, if it was my brother and there was compelling evidence supporting an accusation like that then he deserves everything that's coming to him, family member or not. But I'm not you, so the ball's in your court. But as I said, there's nothing really wrong with whatever you choose to do.
Last Edit: February 23, 2016, 06:35:29 PM by Mordo


 
Elai
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Does he have a tendency for sociopathic behaviour like this? Just curious.

Yeah, he does.

Quote
Personally, if it was my brother and there was compelling evidence supporting an accusation like that then he deserves everything that's coming to him, family member or not. But I'm not you, so the ball's in your court. But as I said, there's nothing really wrong with whatever you choose to do.

I can't really see myself supporting my brother given all the evidence, but based on what I have seen, it doesn't look good.

That being said, it's still incredibly hard for me to believe some of this. You just... never expect something like this from a family member, I guess.


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Is there any real evidence that he was "manipulating" her? Trying to get nudes from girls is a pretty normal thing and it doesn't seem like he was showing any real sociopathic behavior from the quotes you gave. Could just be a bullshit accusation concocted to get him into trouble.


 
Elai
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Is there any real evidence that he was "manipulating" her?

I mean, she was clearly depressed and suicidal from her loneliness and him telling her that "It would make me so happy," among other things, is pretty cut-and-dry.


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Is there any real evidence that he was "manipulating" her?

I mean, she was clearly depressed and suicidal from her loneliness and him telling her that "It would make me so happy," among other things, is pretty cut-and-dry.
I feel like that's a pretty normal thing that someone trying to get nudes might say. Was it common knowledge that she was suicidal before all this?


 
Elai
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Was it common knowledge that she was suicidal before all this?

Yeah, it was. He tried to convince her that he, too, cut himself last Saturday. He claims it was because he said that if she didn't seek help, he would start cutting himself more, but uh, yeah. . .

There was apparently more condemning things in other texts but I haven't personally been able to see the texts. I'll see if I can get a copy of them tomorrow.


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dont phone companies keep all texts and shit?


 
Elai
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dont phone companies keep all texts and shit?

I assume if this goes to court then, yeah, we'll have to find out exactly what went down.

The thing is, they only showed texts from the last 24 hours. This has been going on for months.


maverick | Legendary Invincible!
 
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Was it common knowledge that she was suicidal before all this?

Yeah, it was. He tried to convince her that he, too, cut himself last Saturday. He claims it was because he said that if she didn't seek help, he would start cutting himself more, but uh, yeah. . .

There was apparently more condemning things in other texts but I haven't personally been able to see the texts. I'll see if I can get a copy of them tomorrow.
I mean if he was saying some obvious lies or trying to lower her self esteem or something, I think there would be decent ground to stand on but all I've seen is that he said it would make him happy which isn't very damning. I dunno.


 
Elai
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I mean if he was saying some obvious lies or trying to lower her self esteem or something, I think there would be decent ground to stand on but all I've seen is that he said it would make him happy which isn't very damning. I dunno.

Yeah, again, I'd like to see some of these texts as well. I've never asked for nudes before, so if you say it's pretty common then I guess that's okay?

I'll see if I can get anymore details following tomorrow's meeting. He said a few other things that were bad, yes, but not manipulatively bad. If that makes any sense.


 
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If I may ask, how old is your brother and the girl?
Last Edit: February 23, 2016, 07:07:56 PM by Icy


 
Elai
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If I may ask, how old is your brother and the girl?

Both are 13...


 
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If I may ask, how old is your brother and the girl?

Both are 13...

Oh, even better


 
Elai
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
If I may ask, how old is your brother and the girl?

Both are 13...
Fucking hell

The legal system just loves to fuck people younger and younger...


 
Elai
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Fucking hell

The legal system just loves to fuck people younger and younger...

What?


 
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Oh, even better

What do you mean?

(Assuming you're in 'Merica), then by the letter of the law, the girl produced and distributed child pornography, and your brother coerced and received said pornography.

Of course, many people have pushed for situations like this to not fall under such laws, but it would ultimately come down to whomever is handling the case to make that decision.

If Flee ever gets around, he can likely explain better


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But he deleted all of the texts off of his phone
This is fishy to me...


 
Elai
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(Assuming you're in 'Merica),

Canada, actually. But I know of a guy who got arrested for posting a picture of himself getting a blowjob. He was 17 at the time.

I actually don't know what came of that, though.

Quote
then by the letter of the law, the girl produced and distributed child pornography, and your brother coerced and received said pornography.

Of course, many people have pushed for situations like this to not fall under such laws, but it would ultimately come down to whomever is handling the case to make that decision.

If Flee ever gets around, he can likely explain better

Yeah this just keeps getting better and better.


 
Elai
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But he deleted all of the texts off of his phone
This is fishy to me...

I said the same thing. Apparently it's because my parents took away his phone and he obviously didn't want them to know what was happening (this was before the school alerted them of it).


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Tbh he seems like a regular 13 year old. Just one who unfortunately got caught. Doesn't seem like a piece of shit to me.


 
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Tbh he seems like a regular 13 year old. Just one who unfortunately got caught. Doesn't seem like a piece of shit to me.

Manipulating a mentally-unstable 13-year-old girl (which is the impression I got) for personal sexual gratification isn't "piece of shit" tier?

I mean, yeah, everyone lusts or whatever. But the way I and my brother were raised, it's just really jarring to see his verbiage when talking to this girls...


PSU | Legendary Invincible!
 
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Tbh he seems like a regular 13 year old. Just one who unfortunately got caught. Doesn't seem like a piece of shit to me.

Manipulating a mentally-unstable 13-year-old girl (which is the impression I got) for personal sexual gratification isn't "piece of shit" tier?

I mean, yeah, everyone lusts or whatever. But the way I and my brother were raised, it's just really jarring to see his verbiage when talking to this girls...

Every 13 year old girl is mentally unstable.....


PSU | Legendary Invincible!
 
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I mean it just seems like he did the same type of shit me and my friends did 10 years ago. We tried to convince girls to send us nudes. Yes its against the law, and its way more serious these days. But we did it too.


 
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
PSU's right. This isn't the kind of stuff that the government should be ruining a 13 year old's life over. I mean, shit, he's hardly even a proper teenager.


 
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#13
Degenerates... the lot of you...
OT: That sucks man... I'm sure we'll discuss it a bit tomorrow if you're up for it.... But yeah that really sucks.


 
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