Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

No offense but there's a lot of cringe in this thread. Some of yall need to just get off the internet and reevaluate how you live your lives. Or work on self esteem.

Wow! It's like after reading this post, all of my problems just seem so small and insignificant! Thanks, Lord Starch! You know, you should tell this to everyone with depression! "Reevaluate how you live your life" and "Work on self-esteem!"

No, really, that's absolutely beautiful. Put that shit on a fucking T-shirt.

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

"Reevaluate how you live your life"
- Lord Starch

Maybe put them on some offshoot of the Livestrong bracelets. That'll sell millions!

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

"Work on self-esteem"
- Lord Starch

If I'da known it was all that simple, I woulda stopped being depressed YEARS ago! You're going places, man. You're gonna be the next Dr. Phil. I mean, everything you said--it's all so nuanced, so erudite, so considerate of the complexity of the issue, but most of all, it's... Fucking retarded. I mean, wow.

It's this sort of glib, vapid ignorance that only makes me hate people even more--Self-esteem is probably the last thing I need to "work on". Whatever the fucking fuck that even means. "Work on self-esteem"? Please, describe to me in your own words what you THINK that means. It'll be hilarious.

Needless to say, your post lacks the substance, sophistication, and tact required to tackle such an issue.

This is the exact type of mongoloid idiocy that I was trying to preempt.
What are you accomplishing by posting this utter shit here? Wait, don't answer that--I already know.

Never post on this board again.

A few of the posts ITT I can really sympathise with, not nearly to the extent of some of you guys, but still can get pretty bad sometimes. I only wish there was more that Friends could do to support someone going through depression, because that despair can get so intense that it traps almost every positive emotion.

Now, I consider myself to be a self motivator, in that I'm normally able to change my mood and energy by analysing my current mindset, what's causing the negative emotion I'm feeling, and then that usually calms me down enough to realise I'm actually in a good situation after all. However, this all went out the window quite recently, when for about a week, I simply wasn't able to lift my confidence or mood from an absolute well of despair that kept me there for what felt like an eternity. This experience was something I woudn't wish on my worst enemy, and made me realise that people with depression simply can't shake it. It's not as simple as "oh, I'll just listen to a motivational song and be okay." It makes you your own worst enemy.

I hope what I've written makes sense, I'm a bit sleep deprived.

Quote from: Zonda on July 29, 2015, 12:22:22 PM

A few of the posts ITT I can really sympathise with, not nearly to the extent of some of you guys, but still can get pretty bad sometimes. I only wish there was more that Friends could do to support someone going through depression, because that despair can get so intense that it traps almost every positive emotion.

Now, I consider myself to be a self motivator, in that I'm normally able to change my mood and energy by analysing my current mindset, what's causing the negative emotion I'm feeling, and then that usually calms me down enough to realise I'm actually in a good situation after all. However, this all went out the window quite recently, when for about a week, I simply wasn't able to lift my confidence or mood from an absolute well of despair that kept me there for what felt like an eternity. This experience was something I woudn't wish on my worst enemy, and made me realise that people with depression simply can't shake it. It's not as simple as "oh, I'll just listen to a motivational song and be okay." It makes you your own worst enemy.

I hope what I've written makes sense, I'm a bit sleep deprived.

No. What you said make sense. Pretty much spot on. I know that for me, depression is like deflection. Anything that comes in, is deflected back around at me. Take happy days for instance. After really good days, something goes wrong in my head and then I start to redirect everything in a negative manner and it gets me down.

It's like a game of cat and mouse, especially if you're aware of it. It's all just mind games, and, you are right. You become the last person you can trust essentially.

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 12:25:21 PM

Not my fault he overreacted to a simple comment.

I don't think it's possible to over-react to the sheer level of stupid you managed to fit into it.

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 12:25:21 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on July 29, 2015, 12:11:26 PM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 11:59:24 AM

Quote from: Verbatim on July 29, 2015, 07:45:51 AM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

No offense but there's a lot of cringe in this thread. Some of yall need to just get off the internet and reevaluate how you live your lives. Or work on self esteem.

Wow! It's like after reading this post, all of my problems just seem so small and insignificant! Thanks, Lord Starch! You know, you should tell this to everyone with depression! "Reevaluate how you live your life" and "Work on self-esteem!"

No, really, that's absolutely beautiful. Put that shit on a fucking T-shirt.

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

"Reevaluate how you live your life"
- Lord Starch

Maybe put them on some offshoot of the Livestrong bracelets. That'll sell millions!

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

"Work on self-esteem"
- Lord Starch

If I'da known it was all that simple, I woulda stopped being depressed YEARS ago! You're going places, man. You're gonna be the next Dr. Phil. I mean, everything you said--it's all so nuanced, so erudite, so considerate of the complexity of the issue, but most of all, it's... Fucking retarded. I mean, wow.

It's this sort of glib, vapid ignorance that only makes me hate people even more--Self-esteem is probably the last thing I need to "work on". Whatever the fucking fuck that even means. "Work on self-esteem"? Please, describe to me in your own words what you THINK that means. It'll be hilarious.

Needless to say, your post lacks the substance, sophistication, and tact required to tackle such an issue.

This is the exact type of mongoloid idiocy that I was trying to preempt.
What are you accomplishing by posting this utter shit here? Wait, don't answer that--I already know.

Never post on this board again.

This reaction is reason you stay depressed. Your outlook on life and your fellow man is atrocious. All I'm saying is that maybe instead of being an online pessimist, you should change up and analyze how you live your life. But eh, I was just throwing in my two cents. I don't care what you do.

Can we seriously not turn this fucking thread into a garbage pile.

Not my fault he overreacted to a simple comment.

Actually yeah, it is. If you had a better grasp on the subject at hand that you'd understand that this shit isn't just an off switch. Depression doesn't give a fuck about how happy or well off you are.

It's neural fuckery at its finest and it doesn't give a shit about any walls you put up to stop it. You could be the king of the world and be depressed as shit. You could be well off and be depressed as shit.

And you might even tell yourself things, try to make yourself realize that you're actually okay but it gets reflected and turned back on you in a negative way by your own twisted and warped thoughts. Do you understand that? Here, let me give you an example.

Let's say, somebody who's depressed realizes it. And they start trying to shift their thoughts to better areas. Looking at their life and realizing that, hey, they're pretty well off. You'd think that would work right?

No.

Because then, the person gets down about realizing that they're being stupid about things and that they're being ungrateful for what they have, and you start right back off at square one.

I even wrote you a post explaining that all things considered, I know that I'm well off. But yet I'm still in this shithole of a state no matter how much I try to beat it.

That's what you don't get. This shit isn't just a fucking off switch. It's a slow burn that hides around every fucking corner of your head and waits to come out and twist things against you, and when you think you've beaten it, boom, it comes crawling back out of the dark corners of your head and pushes you right back down into the mud as easily as the first time.

Do you understand me?

Yeah, a person with your life isn't going to hurt my feelings.

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 12:47:10 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on July 29, 2015, 12:39:16 PM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 12:25:21 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on July 29, 2015, 12:11:26 PM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 11:59:24 AM

Quote from: Verbatim on July 29, 2015, 07:45:51 AM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

No offense but there's a lot of cringe in this thread. Some of yall need to just get off the internet and reevaluate how you live your lives. Or work on self esteem.

Wow! It's like after reading this post, all of my problems just seem so small and insignificant! Thanks, Lord Starch! You know, you should tell this to everyone with depression! "Reevaluate how you live your life" and "Work on self-esteem!"

No, really, that's absolutely beautiful. Put that shit on a fucking T-shirt.

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

"Reevaluate how you live your life"
- Lord Starch

Maybe put them on some offshoot of the Livestrong bracelets. That'll sell millions!

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

"Work on self-esteem"
- Lord Starch

If I'da known it was all that simple, I woulda stopped being depressed YEARS ago! You're going places, man. You're gonna be the next Dr. Phil. I mean, everything you said--it's all so nuanced, so erudite, so considerate of the complexity of the issue, but most of all, it's... Fucking retarded. I mean, wow.

It's this sort of glib, vapid ignorance that only makes me hate people even more--Self-esteem is probably the last thing I need to "work on". Whatever the fucking fuck that even means. "Work on self-esteem"? Please, describe to me in your own words what you THINK that means. It'll be hilarious.

Needless to say, your post lacks the substance, sophistication, and tact required to tackle such an issue.

This is the exact type of mongoloid idiocy that I was trying to preempt.
What are you accomplishing by posting this utter shit here? Wait, don't answer that--I already know.

Never post on this board again.

This reaction is reason you stay depressed. Your outlook on life and your fellow man is atrocious. All I'm saying is that maybe instead of being an online pessimist, you should change up and analyze how you live your life. But eh, I was just throwing in my two cents. I don't care what you do.

Can we seriously not turn this fucking thread into a garbage pile.

Not my fault he overreacted to a simple comment.

Actually yeah, it is. If you had a better grasp on the subject at hand that you'd understand that this shit isn't just an off switch. Depression doesn't give a fuck about how happy or well off you are.

It's neural fuckery at its finest and it doesn't give a shit about any walls you put up to stop it. You could be the king of the world and be depressed as shit. You could be well off and be depressed as shit.

And you might even tell yourself things, try to make yourself realize that you're actually okay but it gets reflected and turned back on you in a negative way by your own twisted and warped thoughts. Do you understand that? Here, let me give you an example.

Let's say, somebody who's depressed realizes it. And they start trying to shift their thoughts to better areas. Looking at their life and realizing that, hey, they're pretty well off. You'd think that would work right?

No.

Because then, the person gets down about realizing that they're being stupid about things and that they're being ungrateful for what they have, and you start right back off at square one.

I even wrote you a post explaining that all things considered, I know that I'm well off. But yet I'm still in this shithole of a state no matter how much I try to beat it.

That's what you don't get. This shit isn't just a fucking off switch. It's a slow burn that hides around every fucking corner of your head and waits to come out and twist things against you, and when you think you've beaten it, boom, it comes crawling back out of the dark corners of your head and pushes you right back down into the mud as easily as the first time.

Do you understand me?

I get you. I already knew coming in that there isn't an off switch and its relatively complicated to fix. From what little I've read about it, they say you have to change aspect of your everyday life and focus on introspection. Quite frankly I probably won't ever get it in the sense that you do since I haven't experienced depression, but I suppose I'll make an effort to understand it more than I do now. The symptoms have been explained, but what about the solutions?

You know what? I don't even fucking know anymore. Depression at its core is a chemical inbalance which can be partially countered with its opposite chemicals. Basically, by being happy.

Growth, new experiences and lots of mental activity and stimulous that makes a person happy is always the soundest bet. But that's why I made this thread. I feel like I've hit the wall here. I've defined myself as a person, I've grown and changed, I've learned to do stuff that I enjoy, and I've learned about what makes me happy and satisfied.

And here I am. What the fuck am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to do things like that when I've already established a strong base to work off of? It depends on the depression. Some people have temporary downs which can be climbed out of.

Mine is fucking chronic. It'll always be there.

Quote from: Sandtrap on July 29, 2015, 01:02:16 PM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 12:47:10 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on July 29, 2015, 12:39:16 PM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 12:25:21 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on July 29, 2015, 12:11:26 PM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 11:59:24 AM

Quote from: Verbatim on July 29, 2015, 07:45:51 AM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

No offense but there's a lot of cringe in this thread. Some of yall need to just get off the internet and reevaluate how you live your lives. Or work on self esteem.

Wow! It's like after reading this post, all of my problems just seem so small and insignificant! Thanks, Lord Starch! You know, you should tell this to everyone with depression! "Reevaluate how you live your life" and "Work on self-esteem!"

No, really, that's absolutely beautiful. Put that shit on a fucking T-shirt.

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

"Reevaluate how you live your life"
- Lord Starch

Maybe put them on some offshoot of the Livestrong bracelets. That'll sell millions!

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

"Work on self-esteem"
- Lord Starch

If I'da known it was all that simple, I woulda stopped being depressed YEARS ago! You're going places, man. You're gonna be the next Dr. Phil. I mean, everything you said--it's all so nuanced, so erudite, so considerate of the complexity of the issue, but most of all, it's... Fucking retarded. I mean, wow.

It's this sort of glib, vapid ignorance that only makes me hate people even more--Self-esteem is probably the last thing I need to "work on". Whatever the fucking fuck that even means. "Work on self-esteem"? Please, describe to me in your own words what you THINK that means. It'll be hilarious.

Needless to say, your post lacks the substance, sophistication, and tact required to tackle such an issue.

This is the exact type of mongoloid idiocy that I was trying to preempt.
What are you accomplishing by posting this utter shit here? Wait, don't answer that--I already know.

Never post on this board again.

This reaction is reason you stay depressed. Your outlook on life and your fellow man is atrocious. All I'm saying is that maybe instead of being an online pessimist, you should change up and analyze how you live your life. But eh, I was just throwing in my two cents. I don't care what you do.

Can we seriously not turn this fucking thread into a garbage pile.

Not my fault he overreacted to a simple comment.

Actually yeah, it is. If you had a better grasp on the subject at hand that you'd understand that this shit isn't just an off switch. Depression doesn't give a fuck about how happy or well off you are.

It's neural fuckery at its finest and it doesn't give a shit about any walls you put up to stop it. You could be the king of the world and be depressed as shit. You could be well off and be depressed as shit.

And you might even tell yourself things, try to make yourself realize that you're actually okay but it gets reflected and turned back on you in a negative way by your own twisted and warped thoughts. Do you understand that? Here, let me give you an example.

Let's say, somebody who's depressed realizes it. And they start trying to shift their thoughts to better areas. Looking at their life and realizing that, hey, they're pretty well off. You'd think that would work right?

No.

Because then, the person gets down about realizing that they're being stupid about things and that they're being ungrateful for what they have, and you start right back off at square one.

I even wrote you a post explaining that all things considered, I know that I'm well off. But yet I'm still in this shithole of a state no matter how much I try to beat it.

That's what you don't get. This shit isn't just a fucking off switch. It's a slow burn that hides around every fucking corner of your head and waits to come out and twist things against you, and when you think you've beaten it, boom, it comes crawling back out of the dark corners of your head and pushes you right back down into the mud as easily as the first time.

Do you understand me?

I get you. I already knew coming in that there isn't an off switch and its relatively complicated to fix. From what little I've read about it, they say you have to change aspect of your everyday life and focus on introspection. Quite frankly I probably won't ever get it in the sense that you do since I haven't experienced depression, but I suppose I'll make an effort to understand it more than I do now. The symptoms have been explained, but what about the solutions?

You know what? I don't even fucking know anymore. Depression at its core is a chemical inbalance which can be partially countered with its opposite chemicals. Basically, by being happy.

Growth, new experiences and lots of mental activity and stimulous that makes a person happy is always the soundest bet. But that's why I made this thread. I feel like I've hit the wall here. I've defined myself as a person, I've grown and changed, I've learned to do stuff that I enjoy, and I've learned about what makes me happy and satisfied.

And here I am. What the fuck am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to do things like that when I've already established a strong base to work off of? It depends on the depression. Some people have temporary downs which can be climbed out of.

Mine is fucking chronic. It'll always be there.

You know, I planned to head to Barnes and Noble to day for a poetry book, but I think I'll pick up a book on depression as well, as I'm now genuinely curuious about it. So we've established that it's a chemical imbalance that, from what I'm seeing, cannot be counteracted by conciously trying to be happy through introspective analysis or engaging in things that make you happy. Do you think antidepressants are the best solution to this problem? I was always skeptical about them since I assumed one would become dependant on them, but seeing as how it's more physiological than mental, I assume it's the most practical route. I've heard that people could improve by seeking consistent therapy as well.

I hope depression wont always be there for you though.

Quote from: Sandtrap on July 29, 2015, 01:02:16 PM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 12:47:10 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on July 29, 2015, 12:39:16 PM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 12:25:21 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on July 29, 2015, 12:11:26 PM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 11:59:24 AM

Quote from: Verbatim on July 29, 2015, 07:45:51 AM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

No offense but there's a lot of cringe in this thread. Some of yall need to just get off the internet and reevaluate how you live your lives. Or work on self esteem.

Wow! It's like after reading this post, all of my problems just seem so small and insignificant! Thanks, Lord Starch! You know, you should tell this to everyone with depression! "Reevaluate how you live your life" and "Work on self-esteem!"

No, really, that's absolutely beautiful. Put that shit on a fucking T-shirt.

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

"Reevaluate how you live your life"
- Lord Starch

Maybe put them on some offshoot of the Livestrong bracelets. That'll sell millions!

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

"Work on self-esteem"
- Lord Starch

If I'da known it was all that simple, I woulda stopped being depressed YEARS ago! You're going places, man. You're gonna be the next Dr. Phil. I mean, everything you said--it's all so nuanced, so erudite, so considerate of the complexity of the issue, but most of all, it's... Fucking retarded. I mean, wow.

It's this sort of glib, vapid ignorance that only makes me hate people even more--Self-esteem is probably the last thing I need to "work on". Whatever the fucking fuck that even means. "Work on self-esteem"? Please, describe to me in your own words what you THINK that means. It'll be hilarious.

Needless to say, your post lacks the substance, sophistication, and tact required to tackle such an issue.

This is the exact type of mongoloid idiocy that I was trying to preempt.
What are you accomplishing by posting this utter shit here? Wait, don't answer that--I already know.

Never post on this board again.

This reaction is reason you stay depressed. Your outlook on life and your fellow man is atrocious. All I'm saying is that maybe instead of being an online pessimist, you should change up and analyze how you live your life. But eh, I was just throwing in my two cents. I don't care what you do.

Can we seriously not turn this fucking thread into a garbage pile.

Not my fault he overreacted to a simple comment.

Actually yeah, it is. If you had a better grasp on the subject at hand that you'd understand that this shit isn't just an off switch. Depression doesn't give a fuck about how happy or well off you are.

It's neural fuckery at its finest and it doesn't give a shit about any walls you put up to stop it. You could be the king of the world and be depressed as shit. You could be well off and be depressed as shit.

And you might even tell yourself things, try to make yourself realize that you're actually okay but it gets reflected and turned back on you in a negative way by your own twisted and warped thoughts. Do you understand that? Here, let me give you an example.

Let's say, somebody who's depressed realizes it. And they start trying to shift their thoughts to better areas. Looking at their life and realizing that, hey, they're pretty well off. You'd think that would work right?

No.

Because then, the person gets down about realizing that they're being stupid about things and that they're being ungrateful for what they have, and you start right back off at square one.

I even wrote you a post explaining that all things considered, I know that I'm well off. But yet I'm still in this shithole of a state no matter how much I try to beat it.

That's what you don't get. This shit isn't just a fucking off switch. It's a slow burn that hides around every fucking corner of your head and waits to come out and twist things against you, and when you think you've beaten it, boom, it comes crawling back out of the dark corners of your head and pushes you right back down into the mud as easily as the first time.

Do you understand me?

I get you. I already knew coming in that there isn't an off switch and its relatively complicated to fix. From what little I've read about it, they say you have to change aspect of your everyday life and focus on introspection. Quite frankly I probably won't ever get it in the sense that you do since I haven't experienced depression, but I suppose I'll make an effort to understand it more than I do now. The symptoms have been explained, but what about the solutions?

You know what? I don't even fucking know anymore. Depression at its core is a chemical inbalance which can be partially countered with its opposite chemicals. Basically, by being happy.

Growth, new experiences and lots of mental activity and stimulous that makes a person happy is always the soundest bet. But that's why I made this thread. I feel like I've hit the wall here. I've defined myself as a person, I've grown and changed, I've learned to do stuff that I enjoy, and I've learned about what makes me happy and satisfied.

And here I am. What the fuck am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to do things like that when I've already established a strong base to work off of? It depends on the depression. Some people have temporary downs which can be climbed out of.

Mine is fucking chronic. It'll always be there.

You know, I planned to head to Barnes and Noble to day for a poetry book, but I think I'll pick up a book on depression as well, as I'm now genuinely curuious about it. So we've established that it's a chemical imbalance that, from what I'm seeing, cannot be counteracted by conciously trying to be happy through introspective analysis or engaging in things that make you happy. Do you think antidepressants are the best solution to this problem? I was always skeptical about them since I assumed one would become dependant on them, but seeing as how it's more physiological than mental, I assume it's the most practical route. I've heard that people could improve by seeking consistent therapy as well.

I hope depression wont always be there for you though.

So we've established that it's a chemical imbalance that, from what I'm seeing, cannot be counteracted by consciously trying to be happy through introspective analysis or engaging in things that make you happy.

Do you think antidepressants are the best solution to this problem? I was always skeptical about them since I assumed one would become dependant on them, but seeing as how it's more physiological than mental, I assume it's the most practical route. I've heard that people could improve by seeking consistent therapy as well.

Quote from: Sandtrap on July 29, 2015, 01:30:10 PM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 01:20:45 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on July 29, 2015, 01:02:16 PM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 12:47:10 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on July 29, 2015, 12:39:16 PM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 12:25:21 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on July 29, 2015, 12:11:26 PM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 11:59:24 AM

Quote from: Verbatim on July 29, 2015, 07:45:51 AM

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

No offense but there's a lot of cringe in this thread. Some of yall need to just get off the internet and reevaluate how you live your lives. Or work on self esteem.

Wow! It's like after reading this post, all of my problems just seem so small and insignificant! Thanks, Lord Starch! You know, you should tell this to everyone with depression! "Reevaluate how you live your life" and "Work on self-esteem!"

No, really, that's absolutely beautiful. Put that shit on a fucking T-shirt.

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

"Reevaluate how you live your life"
- Lord Starch

Maybe put them on some offshoot of the Livestrong bracelets. That'll sell millions!

Quote from: Lord Starch on July 29, 2015, 05:33:00 AM

"Work on self-esteem"
- Lord Starch

If I'da known it was all that simple, I woulda stopped being depressed YEARS ago! You're going places, man. You're gonna be the next Dr. Phil. I mean, everything you said--it's all so nuanced, so erudite, so considerate of the complexity of the issue, but most of all, it's... Fucking retarded. I mean, wow.

It's this sort of glib, vapid ignorance that only makes me hate people even more--Self-esteem is probably the last thing I need to "work on". Whatever the fucking fuck that even means. "Work on self-esteem"? Please, describe to me in your own words what you THINK that means. It'll be hilarious.

Needless to say, your post lacks the substance, sophistication, and tact required to tackle such an issue.

This is the exact type of mongoloid idiocy that I was trying to preempt.
What are you accomplishing by posting this utter shit here? Wait, don't answer that--I already know.

Never post on this board again.

This reaction is reason you stay depressed. Your outlook on life and your fellow man is atrocious. All I'm saying is that maybe instead of being an online pessimist, you should change up and analyze how you live your life. But eh, I was just throwing in my two cents. I don't care what you do.

Can we seriously not turn this fucking thread into a garbage pile.

Not my fault he overreacted to a simple comment.

Actually yeah, it is. If you had a better grasp on the subject at hand that you'd understand that this shit isn't just an off switch. Depression doesn't give a fuck about how happy or well off you are.

It's neural fuckery at its finest and it doesn't give a shit about any walls you put up to stop it. You could be the king of the world and be depressed as shit. You could be well off and be depressed as shit.

And you might even tell yourself things, try to make yourself realize that you're actually okay but it gets reflected and turned back on you in a negative way by your own twisted and warped thoughts. Do you understand that? Here, let me give you an example.

Let's say, somebody who's depressed realizes it. And they start trying to shift their thoughts to better areas. Looking at their life and realizing that, hey, they're pretty well off. You'd think that would work right?

No.

Because then, the person gets down about realizing that they're being stupid about things and that they're being ungrateful for what they have, and you start right back off at square one.

I even wrote you a post explaining that all things considered, I know that I'm well off. But yet I'm still in this shithole of a state no matter how much I try to beat it.

That's what you don't get. This shit isn't just a fucking off switch. It's a slow burn that hides around every fucking corner of your head and waits to come out and twist things against you, and when you think you've beaten it, boom, it comes crawling back out of the dark corners of your head and pushes you right back down into the mud as easily as the first time.

Do you understand me?

I get you. I already knew coming in that there isn't an off switch and its relatively complicated to fix. From what little I've read about it, they say you have to change aspect of your everyday life and focus on introspection. Quite frankly I probably won't ever get it in the sense that you do since I haven't experienced depression, but I suppose I'll make an effort to understand it more than I do now. The symptoms have been explained, but what about the solutions?

You know what? I don't even fucking know anymore. Depression at its core is a chemical inbalance which can be partially countered with its opposite chemicals. Basically, by being happy.

Growth, new experiences and lots of mental activity and stimulous that makes a person happy is always the soundest bet. But that's why I made this thread. I feel like I've hit the wall here. I've defined myself as a person, I've grown and changed, I've learned to do stuff that I enjoy, and I've learned about what makes me happy and satisfied.

And here I am. What the fuck am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to do things like that when I've already established a strong base to work off of? It depends on the depression. Some people have temporary downs which can be climbed out of.

Mine is fucking chronic. It'll always be there.

You know, I planned to head to Barnes and Noble to day for a poetry book, but I think I'll pick up a book on depression as well, as I'm now genuinely curuious about it. So we've established that it's a chemical imbalance that, from what I'm seeing, cannot be counteracted by conciously trying to be happy through introspective analysis or engaging in things that make you happy. Do you think antidepressants are the best solution to this problem? I was always skeptical about them since I assumed one would become dependant on them, but seeing as how it's more physiological than mental, I assume it's the most practical route. I've heard that people could improve by seeking consistent therapy as well.

I hope depression wont always be there for you though.

Anti-depressents aren't even a real solution. It's the opposite really. Yo don't become dependant on anti-depressents. Your brain rejects them.

They're a trick to your brain. Essentially, what they do is, trick your brain into thinking that it has what it needs in terms of a normal healthy chemical balance. And this, naturally, only works for so long. Eventually your brain adapts to the dosage and so over time, the dosage needs to be raised.

It's basically, a money racket. It doesn't fix things. And I can't even consider it because I've conversed with all my various docs and they all agree that with the amount of chemicals I'm taking right now, in the form of meds for chemo, already make me unstable. Throwing more pills on top of things has the potential to seriously fuck me up if it already hasn't.

I see, the brain builds a tolerance to the drug. I figured this would be the case to an extent. That actually reminds me of a case where antidepressants were abused although I can't recall the specifics. Damn, the variables and biochemistry of depression is very complicated. I hate I've fallen into the trap where we as a society haven't really addressed or completely acknowledged the complexity of depression and other neurological conditions.

I hate when people insult each other and then apologize.

How's it affecting your paranoia? (If any)

I'm asking because my roommate had/has chronic depression (seems to be quite common in Finland, as does alcoholism and suicides), and her paranoia and cynicism were through the roof the whole year. It's tough as it is trying to constantly convince someone that you don't hate them because you couldn't hang out with them that day, but I can't imagine how bad it is to think (andbbelieve) that everyone hates you.