Another thread about suicide

well, my parents have officially disowned me and my sister, we are now legally no longer a part of the family, on top of my parents fucking hating us, all the people I have known for almost 30 years just cut out, never seeing them again. drive home was fucking hard, 7 or 8 times I just wanted to slam the fucking gas and turn left just to see what would happen.

Wait, that's actually something you can legally do?

they can legally in the way of a restraining order, and they're friends with the judge, so now both me, my sister, and our families can no longer be within 200 ft of my parents. they also removed all visitation rights, and both of us from their wills

Damn...
I'm sorry to hear that.

honestly the hardest thing was that we can't be at family gatherings, or even meet up with anyone in the family anymore, my mom and dad have an iron grip and will on the family, and how they percieve us now. my parents can go fuck themselves for all I care, but my uncles, my aunts, my cousins, Im gonna miss em.

Can I ask why they disowned you?

My sister is a massive faggot, and my parents are hardcore family oriented, bible thumping christians, and when they found out, they cut her off while she was and still is in college, leaving her and her soon to be wife 10k in debt and homeless. Being that she's my fucking sister; I helped her out, by giving her a place ro stay and some money so she can pay her bills till they get back on heir feet. That apparently is a big no no in their eyes, and they decided that I am also no longer a part of the family.

Wow. I'm really sorry but your parents can go fuck themselves.

I cannot stand people like that.

I think my new hobby does a good job keeping me at bay. I haven't felt super depressed in awhile now. Plan on seeing someone during spring break next week.

There are times at work where I get so depressed that I think about ways of doing it. One way is buying two pistols which I would fire into my temple and heart while I fall off a high bridge into the water.

The other way is soaking myself and the inside of my car with gas and igniting it. I would have a cardboard box which is soaked with gas that has steel wool in it. I would ignite it with a battery right before I shoot myself in the temple.

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Meditations got me through some shit, man.

Spoiler

disclaimer: I'm no fedora who claims to be a fervent follower of stoicism

There are times at work where I get so depressed that I think about ways of doing it. One way is buying two pistols which I would fire into my temple and heart while I fall off a high bridge into the water.

The other way is soaking myself and the inside of my car with gas and igniting it. I would have a cardboard box which is soaked with gas that has steel wool in it. I would ignite it with a battery right before I shoot myself in the temple.

Dude that sounds like a really painful way to go. That isn't worth it :/

There are times at work where I get so depressed that I think about ways of doing it. One way is buying two pistols which I would fire into my temple and heart while I fall off a high bridge into the water.

The other way is soaking myself and the inside of my car with gas and igniting it. I would have a cardboard box which is soaked with gas that has steel wool in it. I would ignite it with a battery right before I shoot myself in the temple.

And here I thought I was getting creative by considering dropping a toaster into the tub. But, I feel you on that. There's a radio tower in the area, close buy in my town. I used to climb it during the lowest bottoms of being depressed. Even still, some nights, right now, I think about it. It'd be so incredibly easy to do.

You know the picture posted just below your post? A quote from some old name in history? It's true. You greatly underestimate your ability to go through with whatever is eating at you right now. Even if your shit seems unbeatable.  People second guess themselves on things like this all the time.

Mind if I ask why you're down?

Here. I'll take a guess about a portion of it for you. If your mind wanders so freely when you're at work then whatever task you're doing must not be engaging or fulfilling enough. You're stuck in a job that seems to lead nowhere.

Mind if I ask why you're down?

The place I work for is ran by assholes, but I'm basically stuck there due to it being one off the few places that hire.

The town I live in only wants welfare and old people so there's hardly anything to do in it. 

I live on a road which nobody interacts with each other. To make it even worse there is nobody who is around my age that lives on it.

When I was in pre-school my mom's dad died and her mom died when I was in 5th grade. My dad's parents are the only ones left but they barley bothered with me growing up.

My mom's side of the family hardly bothered with us and it's the same with my dad's. We hardly ever had any large family trips or gatherings. If there were any we ended up being let out.

I still have no girlfriend and hardly any friends.

For my dad the guy is intelligent in math and science but instead of going to college to become something like an engineer like his brother, he instead went for something he didn't even do. He instead wasted his life at a job making shit when he could have been so much more. What makes it worse is that he has been hating his job ffor years but he did nothing about it. If he had any common sense we wouldn't be living in this area and we wouldn't be so poor.

Here. I'll take a guess about a portion of it for you. If your mind wanders so freely when you're at work then whatever task you're doing must not be engaging or fulfilling enough. You're stuck in a job that seems to lead nowhere.

You are correct about that. I work for a clothing factory where I put shitty looking clothing and items into bags or boxes to be shipped out to whoever ordered them.

Mind if I ask why you're down?

The place I work for is ran by assholes, but I'm basically stuck there due to it being one off the few places that hire.

The town I live in only wants welfare and old people so there's hardly anything to do in it. 

I live on a road which nobody interacts with each other. To make it even worse there is nobody who is around my age that lives on it.

When I was in pre-school my mom's dad died and her mom died when I was in 5th grade. My dad's parents are the only ones left but they barley bothered with me growing up.

My mom's side of the family hardly bothered with us and it's the same with my dad's. We hardly ever had any large family trips or gatherings. If there were any we ended up being let out.

I still have no girlfriend and hardly any friends.

For my dad the guy is intelligent in math and science but instead of going to college to become something like an engineer like his brother, he instead went for something he didn't even do. He instead wasted his life at a job making shit when he could have been so much more. What makes it worse is that he has been hating his job ffor years but he did nothing about it. If he had any common sense we wouldn't be living in this area and we wouldn't be so poor.

Here. I'll take a guess about a portion of it for you. If your mind wanders so freely when you're at work then whatever task you're doing must not be engaging or fulfilling enough. You're stuck in a job that seems to lead nowhere.

You are correct about that. I work for a clothing factory where I put shitty looking clothing and items into bags or boxes to be shipped out to whoever ordered them.

Not too much different from me in some ways. At least I can tell you that you're feeling blue in a rational manner. Nobody stuck in a rut like yours wouldn't. Depending on the type of person, others might have long ago already quit and left.

Why are you staying there?

Why are you staying there?

For living it's because my mom has nobody else but me. Her family doesn't bother with her and neither does my dad's side. My sister isn't close with her and for my dad they don't get alone at all. At the moment I'm hoping my life could change by getting a new job, finding someone or at least joining something that gives me joy.

For getting out of the area I don't have enough money to move and to live on. Right now I'm going to be getting a new vehicle which means I can travel back and forth. Once I get that taking care of I'm going to look into going to a school to get a CDL. In my town there's a foundation that helps out people who are low income. I'm going to see if I'm able to get money though them to go to a school.

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I'd commit suicide if nobody wanted me to. While there are still people who'd like to see me depressed and kill myself, I smile and and live out of spite.

Basically: Get fricked

fugg D-:

Why are you staying there?

For living it's because my mom has nobody else but me. Her family doesn't bother with her and neither does my dad's side. My sister isn't close with her and for my dad they don't get alone at all. At the moment I'm hoping my life could change by getting a new job, finding someone or at least joining something that gives me joy.

For getting out of the area I don't have enough money to move and to live on. Right now I'm going to be getting a new vehicle which means I can travel back and forth. Once I get that taking care of I'm going to look into going to a school to get a CDL. In my town there's a foundation that helps out people who are low income. I'm going to see if I'm able to get money though them to go to a school.

I figured. Family chains. You wanna walk freely but you don't want to leave a few folks behind in the process. It's not an easy thing to carry around. Trying to support somebody else when you don't even have the neccessary things to support yourself.

Stick with it matey. You'll learn as you go along, and you'll make it.

I'd commit suicide if nobody wanted me to. While there are still people who'd like to see me depressed and kill myself, I smile and and live out of spite.

Basically: Get fricked

I still don't like you as a person, but you are capable of showing human decency when you see it fit.

I wouldn't suggest that you kill yourself though, at least not seriously.

Looking at this thread makes me look back and truly appreciate how far I've come. I used to be able to relate with what most people here are posting, but now I just don't. It's not me anymore. I concede that there's really probably not much I can say to really help in any way, seeing as everyone walks a slightly different path as well as the fact that people could probably care less about anything I have to say. Which is fine.

I guess if there's one thing I could say, it that depression and suicidal feelings don't have to be forever. Life will always have its low points but it's definitely not impossible to get to a point where you can enjoy it and have it be something worthwhile. Getting wrapped up in existential and futility mentalities gets you nowhere. Woulds heal, but not if you keep ripping the scab off.

I agree with you. I'm actually glad I made this thread. Its probably one of the best threads I made on this website, and I'm someone that's terrible.

Right now I'm trying to troll in The Flood forum because I'm bored, but in all seriousness, this is my most proud thread, as cliche as it sounds.