It's called In-N-Out

We're not discussing the motion I use to pleasure your mother

with some nutella it is

*Nugtella

CHEEEEEAT GASAI WAS MEAN TO MEEEEE

Quote from: Kinder der Mörder on December 21, 2014, 11:14:37 AM

Quote from: Mr Psychologist on December 21, 2014, 11:13:55 AM

Quote from: Kinder der Mörder on December 21, 2014, 11:09:15 AM

Quote from: Mr Psychologist on December 21, 2014, 10:26:01 AM

And bloody hell... 20/30 oz Sodas... jesus...

Not like you have to drink it in one sitting. I'll drive over to Popeyes if I'm at school and need something to eat and my drink will last me for about 2 hours

It's not about how long it takes you to chug it, it's that you are drinking damn near on a litre of fizzy pop.
That's just... ugh, so much bloody sugar ._.

Then make water taste better

checkmate robot

Water tastes fine, if you corrupt your tastebuds with sugar all day then of course water will taste bad. If ya still don't like water, then tea will do. That's good for you, provided you don't ram it with sugar as well.
Green Tea, Fruit Tea, Herbal Tea, Breakfast Tea, Earl Grey, Assam, Chai... so many delicious flavours to choose from, and yet you choose... sugary.

The green tea that pdq sells is the best I've ever had :p

fapping

http://www.eatpdq.com/about_us

PDQ is not only my workplace, but it really sparked an idea in my head. I can't see how franchises like McDonald's can compete with this quality food at reasonable prices. Shit, everything is prepared fresh and is much better for your overall health. Of course, eating their fried foods isn't a healthy thing to do but they have healthy alternatives that are just as delicious.

So I guess the topic to discuss would be, why can't this model be the inspiration for all other fast food chains?

Only a fgt would type this much

Only a fgt would make a reply like that

Sorry for the tight squeeze

Quote from: Officer Big Dick Dave on December 21, 2014, 12:53:35 AM

Quote from: Korra on December 21, 2014, 12:51:10 AM

Damn....so much.

...

Damn....so much.

Chapter 14: A New Plan

The Destiny Purifiers, Hawke, Rampant, BaconShelf, the Northerners, and the two alien lovers briskly walked back through the deserted city and eventually made it back to the manhole leading to their headquarters. As PsychBot reached down and started removing the cover, Vien and COWPIE stepped forward rather urgently. “I feel you no longer need our help,” said Vien, “COWPIE and I are going to make our way back to his Fun House.”
GrandmasterNinja looked at him with a scoff and said, “What? But you two just helped us kill all of those zombies!”
“Yeah, and you managed to reunite me with these assholes!” exclaimed Rampant, turning to Hawke and BaconShelf, who only shrugged in response.
“WE’RE TRULY SORRY,” exclaimed COWPIE, “BUT WE’VE DECIDED THAT WE WOULD JUST GET IN THE WAY OF YOUR PLANS. WE HAVE…NEEDS THAT MUST BE FULFILLED.”
TBlocks jumped at Vien and gave him a gigantic hug, a single tear falling from his eye. “I’ll miss you, eh.” Vien wrapped his arms around TBlocks and motioned COWPIE to start walking towards the exit of the city. “If you ever need us, you know where to find us.” He said as he caught up to COWPIE. The rest of the group waved goodbye as the two lovers, with Vien’s arm around COWPIE’s waist, walked into the sunset.

PsychBot removed the manhole cover and allowed everyone to hop in, one by one, before climbing in and covering the hole back up. As they turned towards the heavy steel door of the headquarters, they saw a very familiar face sitting on the ground next to it. “Officer Nasty!” exclaimed Hawke as he ran towards him. Officer Nasty jumped to his feet and exchanged a fist bump with Hawke.
“Glad to see you’re back in one piece,” said BaconShelf, offering a fist bump to Nasty. “To you as well, Bacon…” said Officer Nasty as he looked through the group members and noticed the two Northerners, who were unfamiliar to him. “Who the hell are they? And why are they wearing moose-skin hats?” He continued to search through the sea of faces but couldn’t find Greene or Smiggles in it. “Where are Greene and Smiggles?” Before anybody could answer, Napalm pushed through the group and unlocked the door. “We’ll explain inside,” said Napalm as he lifted the hatch and pulled the door open, allowing everyone to funnel inside.

They were all met by a rather nervous Recon, who motioned them all to meet in the common area. “Did you find what you were looking for?” asked Recon as they all sat down in a ‘U’ shape facing him. “Hell no,” answered GrandmasterNinja. “The hangar was empty, as I predicted, and the entire mission was a waste of time. Plus, two members of their group were captured by Camnator.” Officer Nasty’s eyes widened in horror after hearing the news, “What do you mean they were ‘captured?’”
Hawke put his hand on Officer Nasty’s shoulders, guilt emanating from his body language. “Bacon and I were supposed to guard them while GrandmasterNinja was fighting Camnator, but I was shot by a weed blaster and everything just fell apart.”
Officer Nasty looked to Recon in hopes he could gain some answers. “Where do you think he took them?” he asked.
Recon pondered his question for a moment before giving an answer. “I’d assume they are in Bungie Palace as we speak.” Recon shuffled over to an empty chair and sat down, for leaning over on his cane started to become tiresome. He looked throughout the seated members awaiting his instruction and noticed somebody was missing. “Did something happen to Daisy?”
Upon hearing Recon’s question, Napalm’s eyes turned stone cold, and PsychBot froze up in his place. They haven’t told anyone what happened to Daisy and Gatsby, it was only a matter of time until someone started asking. A memory suddenly dawned on Officer Nasty when he heard the name Daisy. He remembered speaking to a sobbing, depressed Gatsby in his mansion only a couple days ago, and he promised him that he’d bring Daisy back to him. “Did you just say ‘Daisy?’” asked Officer Nasty, reaching into his pocket and showing a picture of her that Gatsby gave to him. “This Daisy?”
All eyes in the room turned towards Napalm, who was visibly shaking in fear, as if he was suffering from PTSD. “She…She was attacked by a Destitard,” said Napalm, trembling as he spoke. “But we didn’t know until…until Gatsby found her. He was so stricken with grief that he wanted me to…he wanted me to burn him and Daisy together.” The entire room was dead silent at this point, until GrandmasterNinja broke the silence. “So…What the hell did you do?” he asked irritably.
“I burned Gatsby alive, okay!” exclaimed Napalm as tears began gushing from his eyes. “I tried talking him out of it but he wouldn’t listen!” He vaulted from his seat and stormed out of the cavern in a sobbing fashion. “I’d react the same way,” said PsychBot, blankly staring into space, “If I was still capable of feeling emotion.”

GrandmasterNinja stood up in the center of the group. “Look, shit happens, right? Especially in this godforsaken wasteland,” he said, trying to get everybody else on track. “But JOHN CENA is still out there killing and imprisoning everyone who doesn’t share his vision of the ‘Perfect Flood,’ which means we have to suck it up and move on!”
“He’s right,” said Recon, as he began stroking his beard. “But we must still remember the fallen. Please, Grandmaster, have a seat.” GrandmasterNinja nodded and obeyed, sitting back down in his place. “Now, since you could not find a plane, I have a new plan. Are all of you familiar with the trolls?”
CND’s head perked up after hearing Recon’s question, and answered, “Of course, eh, they always hang out in Support City!” TBlocks finally stopped sipping his maple syrup and added, “That’s right, eh. The trolls always seemed to like messing with us, but why do we need to be familiar, eh?”
“Even before I became a Ninja, the trolls would alternate causing chaos between the cities. They are able to do this due to an extensive system of underground tunnels that spread throughout each city. I’m sure that their Destiny City tunnel is loaded with Destitards now, so my plan is that your group head to #­gaming, go through the tunnels from there, and enter Flood City from below.”
“Are you sure we have to go to #­gaming?” questioned BaconShelf. “I used to go there a lot before A-Day, and let’s just say they don’t really appreciate my ‘type.’”
“What do you mean?” asked Officer Nasty.
“Well…I actually like Halo 4!”
Hawke turned to BaconShelf, his face showing extreme disgust. “You like that shitty game? What the hell is wrong with you?!”
“I always knew there was something off about you,” added Rampant.
“Something off about me? You’re a psychotic asshole whose mouth foams more than a bubble bath!” exclaimed BaconShelf, clenching his fists and edging towards Rampant.
“That’s enough!” Recon commanded, hitting the floor with the bottom of his cane. “I am sure everyone who lived in #­gaming is dead, just like every other city, so you should be fine.” Before Recon could continue, Officer Nasty interjected. “Wait, you said ‘your group.’ Are you guys not coming with us?”
“I’m afraid not.” Recon answered, looking towards PsychBot.
“That’s right, we have unfinished business here,” said PsychBot. “According to my calculations, if we allow this disease to go unaffected, the collective force of all of the Destitards will completely annihilate the planet. We must stop this infection before it spreads outside of Destiny City.”
“We’re called the Destiny Purifiers for a reason,” added GrandmasterNinja.
“Okay then,” said Officer Nasty. “Sounds like we’ve got ourselves a plan.” He motioned his group to get up and head towards the door, but the northerners remained seated and sipping their syrup. “Are you two coming with us?”
They both gave each other reassuring glances and jumped to their feet. “Of course, eh!” exclaimed CND. “We’re sick of freezing our asses off up there in Support!”
They grabbed their jars of maple syrup and headed towards the door with the remaining members of the Flood’s Salvation, who retained the weapons they received from the Destiny Purifiers. Before Officer Nasty could meet with them, he felt Recon’s hand upon his shoulder.
“I forgot to ask, did Silent Bob teach you the magic of muting?” asked Recon. Officer Nasty felt a light surge of energy flow through him, which was surely just his body adjusting to sharing a conscience with Silent Bob. “Yes, I completed his trials.”
Recon nodded and lifted his hand from Officer Nasty’s shoulder, allowing him to gather with his group. “Good luck to you all,” said Recon. He dropped to one knee and bowed his head, “May Achronos watch over you and keep you safe.”
The departing group all dropped their heads towards Recon’s blessing. “To you as well,” Said Officer Nasty, as he lifted the hatch on the heavy steel door, pulled it open, and led his group outside to embark on their mission to #­gaming.

Chapter 12: Aftermath

The open area near the Destiny City hangar contained what was left of the three-way battle fought by the merged group of Floodians, Density Zombies, and Camnator with his gang of cannabis-blasting thugs. The putrid stench of blood and dismembered zombies, mixed with the bitter smell of gunpowder, filled the air. Deceased bodies and mangled limbs were spread across the ground, as well as empty bullet casings and cartridges.

GrandmasterNinja was pacing furiously in front of the closed hangar, angrily thinking to himself how Hawke and BaconShelf could have let Camnator take Smiggles and Greene away. “All I asked of you guys was to sit here and watch my back,” said GrandmasterNinja. “But you couldn’t even fend off a couple of thugs stoned out of their minds, and now your friends are captured!”
Before Hawke or BaconShelf could respond, GrandmasterNinja stormed off towards the hangar in a bit of rage. Hawke put his hand on BaconShelf’s shoulder and said, “Listen, Bacon, it’s not your fault. I should’ve snapped out of my incoherency and helped you out.” BaconShelf shrugged Hawke’s hand from his shoulder, visibly guilty with himself. “You don’t understand…” said Baconshelf apathetically. He turned towards the barriers and sat down next to them, gripping the top of his head with his hands. “I was too afraid to fight, but when I tried defending myself, I was too late. Smiggles and Greene are gone because I was a coward!” He buried his face in his hands in disgust, and before Hawke could speak to him, Rampant, Vien, COWPIE, and the two northerners approached them. Hawke didn’t realize that Rampant was here and that he participated in the battle, so when he saw him he felt a mixture of excitement and nervousness.

“Sup bitches?” said Rampant as he strutted towards his friends, seeing BaconShelf wallowing in his own guilt. “What’s he cryin’ about?”
“It’s a long story…” answered Hawke. “Basically, we-“ Before Hawke could finish, he was cut off by BaconShelf standing up and saying, “Greene and Smiggles are gone.” Rampant’s eyes widened when he heard the news. “Eh, aren’t they those nice girls we spoke to at Gatsby’s house, TBocks?” said CND in his thick northern accent. “Oh my, I do believe you are correct, eh,” Answered TBlocks as he reached into his pocket, cracked open a fresh jar of maple syrup, and took a sip.
“I remember them,” said Hawke, pointing to Vien and COWPIE, who were fondling each other and quietly conversing. “But who the hell are you two?” TBlocks ceased his sipping from the jar of maple syrup, wiped away the leftovers on his lip with a handkerchief, and explained. “My name is TBlocks, and this is my good friend CND, eh. We come from Support City, a little ways north from here.”
CND chimed in, “Eh, we were in Gatsby’s mansion enjoying some cool glasses of maple syrup, until your two lovely female friends approached us.”
“CND!” said TBlocks, “I’m telling the story, eh. Wait your turn.”
CND responded with, “Sorry, eh,” and kept himself occupied with his moose-skin hat.
“As I was saying…” TBlocks said, shooting a quick glare towards CND. “We talked to your friends in Gatsby’s mansion, eh, but when COWPIE and Vien started fighting, we hid under a table while the rest of you ran out. That’s when we found your crazy and intoxicated friend in a strait jacket tied up to a pillar, eh. Vien and Cowpie figured we needed their help, and Gatsby wanted to find someone, so we came here looking for you, eh.”

They all looked a Rampant, whose eyes were still widened as he was staring off into the distance. Hawke waved his hand in front of Rampant’s face, but that didn’t stop his gaze. Drool began to fall from his mouth as he mysteriously peered off into the distance. “Oh great, he’s crazy again,” said BaconShelf, backing away slowly from the group, expecting Rampant to lash out towards them. TBlocks thought to himself for a second and the memory of Camnator striking Rampant’s head dawned on him. “Eh, I’ve got an idea,” said TBlocks as he stepped in front of Rampant. “I’m sorry for this, eh.” TBlocks raised his hand, opened his palm, and slapped Rampant, causing his eyes to shrink and his brewing insanity to end. “What the hell?” asked Rampant, rubbing where he had been slapped. “What happened?”
“Eh, you were dozing off or something, friend,” said TBlocks. Rampant scratched his head for a second and said, “Wait, you guys said something about Greene and Smiggles being taken? By who?”
“Do you remember Camnator? The guy that attacked the night club we were in when JOHN CENA first took over?” asked BaconShelf. Rampant’s face scrunched up as if he had just whiffed an extremely unpleasant smell. “Yeah,” said Rampant, with tiny foam bubbles forming in the corners of his mouth. “I freakin’ hate that guy!”

Napalm and PsychBot ascended the dilapidated building where Gatsby was mourning the deceased Daisy, and saw her body lying in a pool of blood. “What happened to her?” asked PsychBot, while he and Napalm slowly approached the scene. . Gatsby looked up towards them, revealing his red, irritated eyes, and shook his head repeatedly. “She wa-was attacked…” Gatsby turned back to Daisy, looking at her shoulder that was devoured by a zombie. “I was too late, and I…I couldn’t save her!” Tears began gushing out of his eyes again as he placed his forehead on her chest, sobbing and choking on his own sorrow. Napalm kneeled down next to Gatsby and wrapped his arm around the back of Gatsby’s shoulders in an attempt to comfort him. “She was a noble fighter, and a good person,” said Napalm, patting Gatsby’s back. “She didn’t deserve to die like this.” Gatsby lifted his head from Daisy’s chest and used two fingers to cover her cold, soulless eyes with her eyelids. “There’s only one thing I can do for her now.” He said, as he stood up, squatted down, and picked up Daisy’s body. He walked past Napalm and PsychBot before they could ask where he was going, and continued outside of the building and towards the open field away from everyone else. He found a clear spot on the ground and gently set down her body, reached behind his neck and unclipped a gold necklace, the pendant in the shape of two connected hearts, and placed it on her chest. Napalm and PsychBot watched him nearby, and even though PsychBot was no longer capable of feeling human emotion, he remembered when he had experienced sadness in his days as a human. Gatsby coupled his forehead with Daisy’s, placed his palms on both of her temples, and closed his eyes while muttering inaudible words. Napalm stepped forward, removed his flamethrower, and set it down next to Gatsby. When he was finished, Napalm met eyes with Gatsby and gave him a nod, giving him permission to use his flamethrower. “No…” muttered Gatsby, as he picked up the flamethrower and brought it back to Napalm, “You’re going to have to do this for me.” Napalm looked into his eyes hoping to find some semblance of hope left within him, but all he saw was dread and despair. He saw Gatsby lie down on the ground next to Daisy, clench her hand, and close his eyes, and immediately realized what he wanted him to do. PsychBot tried to approach him, but was stopped by Napalm’s hand on his chest. “Gatsby, listen to me, you-“
“Stop,” Gatsby said, interrupting Napalm. “I want to be with her forever. You can’t change my decision.” A single tear fell from Napalm’s eye as he admired Gatsby’s loyalty towards his love, and accepted his terms. He raised the flamethrower, aiming it at the awaiting Gatsby, and turned the release valve to ready the weapon. Gatsby turned to Daisy and whispered, “I’ll be with you soon, my love,” his vision starting to blur. He noticed a figure dressed in pitch black robes approaching him, the same figure that appeared to Daisy before her death, Disembodied Soul. “I can’t watch this,” said PsychBot, turning and walking away from the scene. Napalm closed his eyes and gripped the trigger, releasing his fire upon the two inseparable lovers. Gatsby reached his hand out towards Disembodied Soul and said, “Bring me to her,” as he felt the flames consuming him. He closed his eyes and screamed not in agony, but in disappointment that this was the only way for him to see Daisy again. Hugging her body, Gatsby invited the flames on his body, and allowed them to reunite him with Daisy for eternity.

GrandmasterNinja noticed PsychBot walking towards the rest of the group as he was checking out the hangar and stopped him. “Where the hell have you been?” he asked while walking next to PsychBot, who was seemingly unfazed by his presence. He stepped in front of him and asked, “Where’s Napalm?” PsychBot turned around and saw Napalm trudging towards them with cold, traumatized eyes. GrandmasterNinja looked at both of them and asked, “What the hell happened?” but only responded by shaking his head and tearing up. “Come on, Grandmaster,” said PsychBot, “Let’s bring everyone back to the HQ.” PsychBot and Napalm started heading towards everyone else while GrandmasterNinja followed behind with a perplexed expression, wondering what they had just experienced.

Chapter Ten: Taken

The Flood’s Salvation sat in The Destiny Purifier’s dimly lit cavern and sifted through the box of weaponry provided by PsychBot, while GrandmasterNinja and Napalm were conversing with Recon. Greene found a standard M9 pistol and protective clothing; Smiggles taking the more direct approach with an aluminum baseball bat. Hawke grabbed an AK-47 and BaconShelf equipped a double-barreled shotgun, and they both were adorned in light combat armor, similar to Daisy’s. Greene saw Daisy sitting alone in the corner of the chamber polishing her rifle, approached her, and sat down next to her. She looked at Daisy with curious eyes and asked, “You’re Daisy, right?”
She glanced at Greene and responded with a quick nod before continuing to her rifle.
“PsychBot said you’re new here, where are you from?”
“I lived in a mansion near the mountains for a long time,” answered Daisy, as she rested her rifle on her lap. “It was okay, I was in a loving relationship with a pretty decent guy, it’s just…I didn’t want to be sheltered anymore.”
Greene looked away from Daisy for a moment as she recalled passing through the mansion in front of the mountain pass, where she had met the strange northerners. “You wouldn’t happen to be talking about Gatsby’s mansion, would you?”
“That’s right…” Daisy answered with hesitation. “Gatsby is a good man, but he was too protective. I wanted to venture out into the world and make a positive impact, and when the nukes fell, I got that opportunity.”

As Greene and Daisy continued their conversation, GrandmasterNinja, Napalm, and PsychBot were letting Recon know of their plan.
“They believe that there’s still a plane intact at the hangar,” said GrandmasterNinja. “I feel that they won’t stand a chance alone.”
“According to my calculations, the chances of them surviving are slim to none.” PsychBot stated.
Recon stroked his glorious beard earnestly, as he seemed to be unexpectedly joyful.
“I am glad you men-“ PsychBot gave Recon a reassuring expression. “Men, and robot, are taking the initiative and helping our allies,” said Recon.
“Hell, it’s the least we could do,” said Napalm. “I would rather fight by their side than burn them to ashes when they become zombified.”
“Then it is decided,” said Recon. “Escort them to the hangar, and make sure they all come back safe. The Chosen One will be back soon.”
GrandmasterNinja nodded and motioned the Flood’s Salvation over to them. They grabbed their newly acquired weapons and armor and gathered in front of Recon. Daisy slung her rifle around her back and stood away from the rest of the group. Hawke stepped forward and asked, “You guys are actually going to help us?”
“Indeed,” responded Psychbot.
Recon lifted his head towards the ceiling, clasped his hands together, and closed his eyes, apparently readying himself for some sort of prayer. “By the power of Achronos and the Septagon, bless these soldiers in their fight against tyranny, and bless the Chosen One in his sacred journey.” He opened his eyes and gave a salute as he allowed the group to head to the exit. Before BaconShelf reached the door, he asked, “Where is Officer Nasty, anyway?”
Recon produced a wide grin and answered, “He’s fulfilling his Destiny.”
BaconShelf raised his eyebrows at Recon and turned to the door. He passed through, grabbed the large steel handle, and pulled it shut.

The group each emerged from the manhole one by one, the last one out sliding the cover back over the hole. The fires caused by Napalm had all died out, but the rancid smell of burnt flesh was still lingering in the air. GrandmasterNinja peered down the lengthy street which led into the heart of the city and turned back to the group. “From this point on, everyone will have to be as silent as possible. Any loud noises will be picked up by a horde, and we’ll get screwed,” he commanded. “Understand?”
They all responded with a collective nod and followed him as he walked lightly down the barren street.

Rusted cars and garbage were randomly dispersed within the street, and the view of abandoned storefronts on both sides allowed them to reminisce of a once vibrant city. However, seeing the stores defaced with graffiti containing advertisements such as, “w4rl0ck mu5st4rd r1c3” and “j01n mai cl4n pl0x,” reminded them that they were in hostile territory. They were able to navigate through the cluttered street successfully, until GrandmasterNinja halted them in their tracks. He pointed to a massive, rectangular structure ahead, which was covered with rusted sheet metal. “That’s the hangar,” he whispered. “Keep up the good work.”

The road appeared to widen as they approached an open area, all paved in concrete. There were buildings sparsely located in the distance, and the hangar became clear in sight. PsychBot turned to Daisy and motioned her towards a two story house with an open window facing the hangar, suggesting that she hold up in there. The rest of the group continued towards the hangar and hurried their pace as they got closer and closer, catching Smiggles off guard. She was looking around and taking in the beautiful view of the sunlight kissing the mountain tops in the distance, until she realized the rest of the group was a ways ahead of her. “Ah, crap,” she muttered to herself as she began jogging towards them. She was so focused on the group in front of her that she didn’t notice an inconspicuous pothole coming, which caught her right foot. Her foot sank into the pothole and twisted her ankle inwards, sending a jolt of pain through her body as she collapsed to the floor. The crashing sound of Smiggles colliding into the floor caught the group’s attention, and she let out a cry of pain. Greene was the first to meet the ailing Smiggles, tending to her swelled ankle. “Come on, Smiggles,” Greene insisted. “We have to stay quiet!”
An ominous moan filled the air and stopped everyone in their tracks. The moan echoed through the crowded city, and became increasingly more audible with the passing seconds. GrandmasterNinja grabbed Smiggles and hoisted her on his shoulder. “Come on, we have to go!” he commanded. They began running with GrandmasterNinja and the injured Smiggles towards the hangar, but were stopped by the sight of an unfamiliar enemy. Camnator and a group of 10 of his assless Alts emerged from behind the hangar and aimed their Cannabis Blasters at them. “Stop right there!” exclaimed Camnator. “Take another step, and I will botch all of your lobotomies!” Hawke and BaconShelf were immediately reminded of Camnator’s ability when they remembered the night in the club, and began shaking in fear.
“Now, you will all lay down your weapons, and I will bring you JOHN CENA so he can have his way with you.” Said Camnator.
Napalm raised his flamethrower at Camnator, causing him to respond by aim his Cannabis Cannon at them. “Who do you think you are, punk?” asked Napalm.
Camnator laughed confidently as he answered, “I am Camnator, master of Cannabis and Booty. I reckon you put down your weapon before I-“
As Camnator was finishing his sentence, he looked out into the distance behind the group in horror. They turned around and laid their eyes upon a colossal horde of zombies limping towards them. PsychBot looked at the building where Daisy was holding up and screamed, “Fire!” Daisy responded by firing a bullet at Camnator, connecting with the armor on his shoulder. Camnator winced in pain as he dropped his Cannabis Cannon, and ordered his Alts to fire at the group. “We need to split up, now!” commanded Napalm, as he pointed to a group of stone barricades to their left. GrandmasterNinja carried Smiggles over to the barrier and was followed by Greene, Hawke, and BaconShelf, while PsychBot and Napalm rushed behind an abandoned shack to their right.

“You concentrate your fire on the Alts,” commanded Napalm, “and we’ll focus on the Zombies!” PsychBot readied his mini-gun, and sprayed a blanket of bullets into the oncoming horde, tearing individual zombies apart. The whirring sound of the spinning barrels continued as Napalm tossed an incendiary grenade towards the horde, setting a mass of them ablaze. “Hahaha! Filthy mongrels!” exclaimed PsychBot as he continued raining bullets into the horde. Daisy was picking off zombies one by one with precision, causing a bloody explosion with each headshot. All of a sudden, a stray zombie ambushed her from behind and sank its teeth into her right shoulder. She screamed in agony as the zombie ripped a chunk of flesh from her shoulder with its teeth. It collapsed on top of her and, with a raspy voice, hissed “u wil jo1n mai cl4nnnnnn.” Daisy reached into her waist and found her knife, which she used to stab the zombie in between the eyes. Napalm saw Daisy writhing in her own pool of blood atop her post and screamed in fury. The whirring of PsychBot’s mini-gun ceased as he realized he was out of ammo and said “Looks like we’ll have to get our hands dirty, Napalm!” PsychBot charged toward a pack of three zombies and knocked them all to the ground, following with individual curb stomps for each fallen foe. Napalm’s flamethrower whooshed as he spread his fire across the horde. PsychBot continued bashing each oncoming zombie in the skull, popping their heads like melons, until he was overrun and taken off of his feet. Rampant was about to go aid him, but he noticed two strange objects fast approaching. It was the dogsleds containing the Northerners, Rampant, Gatsby, Vien, and Cowpie. They zoomed their dogsleds into the horde, splattering all the zombies that came into contact with them. “Looks like you could use some assistance!” shouted Vien as he hopped off his dogsled, withdrew his energy sword, and sliced a zombie in half. Cowpie blasted the zombies on top of PsychBot with his fuel rod cannon, allowing him to get back on his feet. CND grabbed a jar of maple syrup and smashed it on a zombies head, followed by him saying “Get #Supported, eh!” Rampant slowly walked off the dogsled and looked over the oncoming horde. TBlocks tapped Rampant on the shoulder and said, “Hey now would be a good time to go rampant, eh!”
“That’s my secret,” said Rampant as he turned to TBlocks, revealing his eyes becoming increasingly red and foam bubbling in his mouth. “I’m always rampant.” He let out a ferocious battle cry and sprinted towards the zombies, pummeling them with impressive strength. One by one, the zombies were victimized by Rampant’s amazing strength and agility. Gatsby noticed his dear Daisy agonizing in pain and immediately sprinted towards her. Tears began to flood his vision and he started crying hysterically as he kneeled down next to her. “I’m going to get you out of here!” exclaimed Gatsby as he tried applying pressure to Daisy’s bite wound on her shoulder. “It’s…no use…” she said, as she gripped Gatsby’s hand. He continued sobbing and choking on his own tears as he tried to stop the bleeding, but blood continued to rush out of her protruding wound.
“Kill me, Gatsby…So I don’t…Turn into one of them…”
She slid her rifle next to the kneeling Gatsby, but he pushed it aside.
“No Daisy, I can’t do it!”
“Please, my love…put me out…of my misery…” Daisy coughed up blood and her eyes widened as she began to accept her fate. Her vision was blurred immensely from tears, but she was able to make out a mysterious figure in black robes next to Gatsby that didn’t seem to exist for him. She recognized the figure as Disembodied Soul, Bungie’s grim reaper. She reached out her hand towards Disembodied Soul and whispered, “I’m ready…”
Gatsby grabbed her rifle, stood up, and aimed it at her head.
“I’m sorry, my love,” muttered Gatsby. A loud bang echoed through the sound of the ensuing battle, followed by Gatsby screaming in sadness and collapsing to his knees.

Meanwhile, Camnator and his Alts were pounding the group’s protective barriers with their Cannabis Blasters. Hawke perched over the barrier and fired at the Alts, but did not connect with any. He ducked back down behind cover and noticed BaconShelf was shivering in fear. “I can’t d-d-do this…” said BaconShelf with obvious fear in his voice. Hawke grabbed BaconShelf by the shirt collar, pulled him closer, and exclaimed, “Listen, BaconShelf, it’s time to fight! I’ll watch your back!” GrandmasterNinja glared at the cowering BaconShelf and rolled his eyes in disgust. “Cover me, Hawke. I’m going to show you how a real man fights!” exclaimed GrandmasterNinja as he pulled out his pistol with one hand and his katana with the other. He leaped over the barrier and evaded fire from the Alts, as Hawke and Greene shot at them, providing a window of opportunity for him. He rolled in between two Alts and blasted one in the chest with his pistol, while he whipped around and sliced the other, removing its head. “Focus your fire at the barriers!” shouted Camnator. “I’ll deal with this squirt.” Camnator dropped his Cannabis Cannon and unsheathed a mighty sword. His sword’s hilt was in the shape on a cannabis plant, and the blade was as sharp as GrandmasterNinja had ever seen. As the two warriors dueled, the Alts charged towards the barriers where Hawke, BaconShelf, Greene, and the ailing Smiggles were covered. Hawke tried to continue firing rounds at them, but he was hit by a Cannabis Blaster, which gave him a false sense of euphoria. BaconShelf grabbed his shotgun and attempted to fire, but was overwhelmed by two Alts hurdling over the barrier and striking him to the ground. The rest of the Alts piled over the barrier and focused their attention on Greene and Smiggles. Greene tried to fend them off but to no avail, allowing the Alts to blast them with cannabis and subdue them. BaconShelf rose to his feet and tried reaching for his shotgun, but was met with a strike from the butt of an Alt’s blaster to the face. He fell back on the floor in a dazed state, and Hawke was lying on the floor, still incoherent from the inflicted cannabis wound. The Alts grabbed the girls, hogtied them, and dragged them towards the hangar, where Camnator’s transport was. “Go to the booty racers!” commanded Camnator, as he ducked under a sword swipe and retaliated with an elbow to GrandmasterNinja’s gut. He pulled out a Cannabis grenade and threw it on the ground, creating a thick, concealing smoke screen which allowed him to escape. GrandmasterNinja noticed that Camnator ran from the fight and that the zombie horde was taken care of, so he doubled back to the barriers. He hopped over and found out that Greene and Smiggles were missing. He grabbed Hawke, slapped him out of his incoherency, and asked, “Where are the girls?” The sound of a starting car alerted them, and they saw Camnator and his Alts drive away with Greene and Smiggles in captivity.

Chapter Eight: Fight or Flight

It’s been four hours since the dysfunctional group of Northerners, alien lovers, and an extremely insane Rampant left Gatsby’s mansion for Destiny City. One dogsled contained the northerners and Rampant tied down to the boxes of maple syrup, and the other had Cowpie with Vien hugging him from behind. They remained on the outer edges of the mountains which used to be a vast, open prairie, but were converted to a sea of brown, dead grass due to the nukes. There was only a sliver of the sun poking out from the horizon, limiting their amount of daylight left to reach the city. Some time passed until the sun completely set below the horizon, causing the orange dusk to slowly disappear and the darkness of night to increase its pace. Vien noticed a silhouette of buildings in the distance, notifying him that they were near. He ordered the group to halt, and they obeyed.
“I think we should set up camp here for the night, and enter the city tomorrow morning.” Vien suggested. The rest of the group looked at Vien perplexingly, since they were expecting to continue on their journey without any stops.
“Why would we stop now, eh?” questioned CND. “The city is less than a few miles away.”
Vien stepped off of his dogsled and started unloading the camping supplies. “You must not be familiar with Destiny City, then,” He said.
“What do you mean by that, eh?” asked TBlocks as he grabbed a jar of maple syrup from his pack.
Vien placed a crate on the ground and sat on it, preparing himself to explain his command.
“This area of Bungie has always been a warzone. Before the city was renamed to Destiny City, it was known as Reach. The Ninjas there were always under constant pressure as the fighting and arguing intensified day in and day out and eventually decided to abandon the city. Achronos decided to change the name to ‘Destiny City’ in an attempt to attract tourists and hopefully stop the arguments about Reach, but nothing has changed.”
CND and TBlocks glanced at each other with confusion and uncertainty. TBlocks took a gulp of maple syrup and said, “What does that have to do with us now, eh?”
Vien used a second to catch his breath and continued.
“When the nukes fell, the unruly citizens of Destiny City didn’t react well with the radiation, and have turned into mindless, bloodthirsty zombies. I lost an entire pack of Sangheili to them, and I’m not going to risk your safety, either.”
“OH VIEN, YOU ARE SO ROMANTIC!” Cowpie began to sniffle and embraced Vien with a giant hug, while the northerners set up their tent.

The darkness had settled over Bungie, and everyone was sound asleep, except for CND, because he was on ‘Rampant Duty.’ Cowpie and Vien shared a tent, while TBlocks slept in the other and CND sat outside holding on to Rampant by his leash. He didn’t really mind being on Rampant Duty; this allowed him to lie down, gaze at the stars, and soothe himself with the blissful silence of nature. Rampant was uncharacteristically calm, even though the alcohol had worn off hours ago, meaning that he’s adapted to his insane state of mind. CND took a long breath from his nose and immediately sensed something unnatural about the scent. He smelled a strong, horrid stench, as if someone was burning a plant of some sort. He began to hear faint voices in the distance and immediately became worried, as he pulled Rampant into TBlocks tent with him in fear. The commotion caused TBlocks to wake up, and in a drowsy condition, he asked, “What’s going on, eh?”
CND shushed him as the voices became louder and the horrendous stench became stronger. With the increasing stench, Rampant’s eyes turned bloodshot red and he started foaming from the mouth. Eventually, they were able to hear a conversation between multiple people.
“Do you think there are thug cops in these tents, Camnator?”
“Maybe there’s booty and nugtella in there!”
“God dammit, will you incoherent bastards shut up?”
“The only one who’s incoherent is yourself.”
“I knew I shouldn’t have wasted my precious cannabis on you idiots.”
There was silence for a minute, until it was discontinued by the sound of a flicking lighter. All of a sudden, a lit cannabis grenade rolled into the tent, which caused them to vault outside, leading to a group of four armed Alts and Camnator, who had his Cannabis Cannon wielded and primed to fire. Vien and Cowpie were on the opposite side, and they were under capture as well. They were able to discern Camnator’s bright green armor and the symbol of JOHN CENA on his chest, which was a hairy dong.
“All of you, get on your knees, or forever become doomed to incoherency!” exclaimed Camnator, as he aimed the Cannabis Cannon at the captured group. They all followed his orders and dropped to their knees, but CND kept his grip on Rampant’s leash as his foaming intensified.
“What are you guys doing all the way out here?” questioned Camnator. “Shouldn’t you be at home? Or, are you looking for someone?”
“WE’RE JUST TRAVELERS, YOUR HONOR,” said Cowpie. “I SWEAR.”
“Oh, is that right? He says otherwise.”
Camnator turned and pointed in the direction of one of his Alts, who pushed a handcuffed Gatsby onto the floor next to them. Gatsby glanced at the group and pleaded, “I’m sorry, guys, I told them everything. They threatened to kill me!”
“Come on, you look like a reasonable fellow, eh,” said TBlocks, as he rose to his feet and offered his hand to Camnator. “Can’t we just talk about this?”
Camnator glared into his eyes for a moment, grabbed his hand, and pulled him closer, followed by a knee to the gut. TBlocks let out a cry of pain as he bellowed over on the floor.
“Now, who’s going to tell me where the Flood’s Salvation is in Destiny City?”
Rampant began to make barking noises at Camnator, spewing foam all around him. He was becoming increasingly insane, and CND was struggling to hold onto his leash. Camnator strutted over to Rampant and peered into his eyes. “I know you from somewhere…”
Camnator pulled a joint out of his pocket, lit it, and took a toke, which immediately strengthened his memory. “That’s right; you were in the club the night of JOHN CENA’s attack! I should’ve killed you while I had the chance!”
CND noticed Vien subtly moving his head trying to get his attention. He moved his mandibles in the form of the words, “Let go,” and CND nodded his head.
“Hey, mister, it seems my friend doesn’t like you very much, eh!” said CND as he let go of Rampant’s leash, allowing him to sprint towards Camnator with exceptional quickness. Before Camnator could react, Rampant tackled him and began biting and clawing at him in a furious rage. Cowpie stood up and charged at Camnator’s Alts, while Vien used this distraction to jump into his tent and equip his energy sword, and the two northerners jumped behind their crates of maple syrup and hid as the brawl ensued. Cowpie incinerated an Alt with his fuel rod cannon, before two more leaped on top of him and took him off his feet. Vien approached the downed lekgolo and sliced his two assailants with his energy sword, instantly killing both of them. Camnator managed to strike Rampant’s face hard enough to get him off of him and rose to his feet, only to realize that he had two Alts left and was outnumbered. The badly wounded Camnator reached into his utility belt of Cannabis supplies and withdrew a smoke bomb. He threw it on the ground, creating a thick cloud of smoke to form in front of him, and ran off with his Alts.

Cowpie went to Gatsby and broke him free from his handcuffs, while the northerners peeked over their syrup wall and realized the fighting stopped. Rampant lied on the ground and was apparently unconscious from the blow dealt by Camnator. “Who was that, eh?” asked TBlocks.
“That’s Camnator, one of JOHN CENA’s most powerful allies,” replied Vien as he helped Gatsby to his feet. “It’s going to be morning soon, let’s get packed up and ready to venture into the city. It won’t be long before Camnator has reinforcements.”
They began to roll up their tents and pack up supplies, and they agreed to bring Gatsby along with them. CND walked over to Rampant and grabbed his leash, giving it a few tugs to see if he could wake him, but to no avail. He gently kicked Rampant a few times, followed by saying, “Come on, buddy, it’s time to get up!”
Rampant slowly opened his eyes and rolled on his back, revealing his cleared expression to CND. His eyes were no longer bloodshot, and the foaming and incoherence had seemed to cease. Rampant gradually opened his mouth, uttering the words, “What happened…”

Chapter Five: Destiny City(Attack of the Alts)

The group emerged from the mountain pass and immediately collapsed on the ground in exhaustion. Officer Nasty began to regain his vision and consciousness, and Hawke managed to patch up his broken nose. There was a large billboard nearby portraying a beautiful metropolis and airplanes in the sky with the words: “Welcome to Destiny City. Fulfill your Destiny!” Unfortunately, what was left of the magnificent city was a massive ghost town. There were no more skyscrapers left intact, which allowed rubble and debris to fill the once busy streets. “We finally made it…” said BaconShelf with a sigh of relief. “Destiny City.”
Officer Nasty rose to his feet and scanned over the city. He noticed that the sun was falling closer to the horizon, meaning daytime was fleeting.
“Come on everyone, let’s get ready,” Said Officer Nasty. “We’re going to have to find some shelter in the city for the night.”
The group began to stand up, collect themselves, and get ready to delve into the foreign city. Officer Nasty took one last glance at the group, and came to a sudden realization. His expression turned stone cold as he gazed into the distance. “Something isn’t right.” Wondered Officer Nasty. He turned his head to BaconShelf and asked, “Where’s Rampant?” BaconShelf met eyes with Hawke as they both unanimously replied, “Shit!”
“He must have ran away in the forest when that psycho attacked us.” Said BaconShelf.
“Don’t even think about it, Nasty.” Said Greene before Officer Nasty could even speak. “There’s no way we’re going back into that pass.”
“I concur.” Said Smiggles. “Plus, he was becoming more insane by the minute; he was just slowing us down. It’s time we forget about him.”
Officer Nasty gave in to their demands and turned back at the looming city.
“Okay, fine. Let’s go.”
The group readied themselves and began walking towards the city.

_________________________________________

There was no sign of Vien and Cowpie in the mansion, other than the blood plastered all over the walls and furniture. Rampant remained fast asleep in the same position throughout the day, his mouth covered with dried saliva from the foaming. CND finally removed his hands from his eyes and exuberantly tapped TBlocks on the shoulder. “The fight’s over, eh!” CND happily exclaimed. “Let’s get out of here.”
The two northerners helped each other from under their table and took their last gulps of maple syrup. TBlocks hopped over behind the bar counter and began stacking jars of maple syrup. “Hey Gatsby, do you care if we take this maple syrup, eh?” asked TBlocks.
Gatsby lifted his depressed head and scoffed. “I won’t care about anything until I know my dear Daisy is alive.”
TBlocks looked at CND and shrugged as he continued to pile maple syrup jars on the counter. As CND was collecting his belongings, he noticed the slumbering Rampant in the corner tied up to a pillar.
“What about this guy, eh?” asked CND as he pointed at Rampant. “Isn’t he a friend of those nice women we were chatting with?”
“I believe so,” replied TBlocks. “I remember them saying something about Destiny City. Should we bring him along with us?”
“It would be the kind thing to do, eh. Let’s keep that strait jacket on him though, he looks mentally unstable.”
CND shuffled over to Rampant and untied his leash from the pillar. As TBlocks loaded the last jar of maple syrup in his pack, he began to hear a mixture of moaning and groaning through the wall next to him, followed by gentle thumps. The thumping became louder, and he began to hear a conversation.
“OH, VIEN…I HAVE ALWAYS ADMIRED THE SANGHEILI ANATOMY.” Moaned Cowpie seductively. TBlocks gagged at the thought of what was going on in the other room and hopped over the counter with his pack full of maple syrup.
“Come on, CND,” he said. “Now’s the perfect time to leave, those weird aliens are doing God knows what in the other room, eh.”
CND clenched Rampant’s leash and gave it a few light tugs to awake him. Rampant slowly opened his bloodshot eyes and rolled on his back in a drunken stupor. The two northerners began to drag Rampant across the mansion to the front door, until Cowpie and Vien emerged from the back room wearing nothing but bed sheets.
“I guess you could say we’ve…settled our differences.” Vien said to Cowpie with a wink. He then directed his attention to the northerners. “Hey, where are you humans going?”
Before they could answer, Cowpie looked at Rampant and asked, “DOESN’T HE BELONG TO THAT OTHER GROUP?”
CND glanced at TBlocks wondering if he should lie, but TBlocks only responded with a quick shrug.
“Why, uh…Yes,” replied CND.
“I REMEMBER THEIR LEADER, OFFICER NASTY WAS HIS NAME, ASKING ABOUT USING THE MOUNTAIN PASS TO GO TO DESTINY CITY. IS THAT WHERE YOU TWO ARE GOING?”
The northerners answered Cowpie’s question with a nod.
“Well, then we’re going with you.” Said Vien. “You could use our help, considering you guys had to cower under a table at the sight of blood.”
Vien and Cowpie walked back into their love nest and returned with their armor and weapons equipped. The newly formed group exited the mansion, packed up the northerners’ dogsleds, and embarked on their journey to Destiny City to reunite with The Flood’s Salvation.

_________________________________________________ ____

About an hour had passed, and the dusk has already turned to dark. The city seemed even more dangerous without the luxury of clear vision. They noticed a clear street which appeared to lead into a residential area and followed it. There were large stone buildings and abandoned shops on both sides of them and countless piles of rubble. Along the walls of the buildings were the words, “lol #Density” written in red spray-paint. Officer Nasty looked ahead and noticed what seemed like five staggering individuals about 50 yards away. In an attempt to avoid a violent confrontation, he shouted out a simple question: “Are you friendly?” The unknown figures responded with a long, sustained moan as they started to limp towards the group. Officer Nasty directed the group to turn around and begin jogging away, until another bunch of stumbling individuals appeared in their path. “Shit, we’re surrounded!” shouted Hawke.
Officer Nasty frantically searched for an escape route, eventually laying his eyes on an empty store to his left. “Everyone, inside!” he commanded.
The group sprinted towards the store and entered through the broken glass window. Officer Nasty stopped in front of the store, withdrew his revolver, and began firing at the approaching enemies. In response to every bullet, the assailants moaned a sustained “Destinyyyyyyyyy.” Officer Nasty continued to pull the trigger until he heard clicks, notifying him that he’d ran out of ammunition. He tried jumping into the store, but he was grabbed by an enemy. The enemy pulled in the struggling Officer Nasty and groaned into his ear, “Wat class u gon plehhhhhhh,” spraying bloodied spit all over his face. The apparent zombie was about to bite a chunk out of Officer Nasty’s neck, until a solid rock collided with his head, causing him to release his grip. “Get in here, Nasty!” shouted BaconShelf. Officer Nasty vaulted through the open window and wiped the saliva off of his face.
“We are so screwed!” yelled Greene.
The pack of zombies crowded in front of the store and were about to enter the store, until a great ball of flame engulfed the horde. The group began to hear a loud hiss, as if a pressure valve was being released, followed by maniacal laughter. The zombies began to shriek in pain as their flesh melted, causing them to disperse away from the store. The separation of the horde revealed a hooded stranger with a flamethrower attached to his back. “Over here!” commanded the stranger towards the group. They emerged from the store and ran towards their apparent savior. He began directing them towards an open manhole about 20 yards up the street. “You see that manhole? Jump in there and wait for me!” They ran towards the manhole without hesitation and jumped in one by one. They could hear the sounds of zombies screaming in agony and the hooded stranger continue to laugh, as if he enjoyed roasting them with his flamethrower. “Taste my cleansing flame! HAHAHAHA!” exclaimed the stranger as he approached the manhole, threw an incendiary grenade at the remaining horde, and jumped in. The group stared at him with large, surprised eyes as he turned around with a wide grin on his face. He walked in front of them and said, “Follow me.”

Officer Nasty looked back at the group in confusion and shock.
“Where are you taking us?” asked Officer Nasty.
The man continued walking down the candlelit tunnel and replied, “Now’s not the time for questions.”
The group had to jog towards the stranger just to catch up with him, and they unceasingly followed him for a short period of time until they approached a large round boulder blocking the path. The man waved his hand in front of a certain spot on the wall, revealing a keypad, and punched in a combination of numbers. The password was confirmed with a soft tone and the mechanism rolled the boulder into a slot in the wall, revealing a spacious cavern. The cavern was littered with food and drink packages, and contained a group of two identically hooded men and a humanoid robot. One of the men, who was wearing a gold hood compared to the red hoods worn by the others, approached the group.
“Welcome to our home,” he said, as he removed the gold hood and outstretched his hand towards Officer Nasty. “We are the Destiny Purifiers, and I have heard a lot about your group.”