Ask me stuff you maggots

sorry to burst your bubbles

we will call it

the second cumming of lenny ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

how can this planet be real if we aren't real? discuss

alright you non-lifting fgts, it's time y'all learn how to get big so you can finally have sex with a girl. below is a step by step process of what you need to do. each of these steps have been tested comprehensively by scientists and fellow swolebros, so there's no need to question my legitimacy.

step 1: get a gym membership. no way you fgts can get swole if you don't go to a gym. quit being a jew and shell out some cash for a membership.

step 2: acquire steroids. sure, you can spend countless hours in the gym lifting the natural way, but that's for total bitches. get some steroids and inject that shit into your body and your biceps will be making them bitches' panties wet in no time.

step 3: DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME ON LEGS. seriously bros, give me one good reason why you should train your legs. that's right, there aren't any. doing squats and lunges in the gym just makes you look like a bitch, and that's not what you want. you want to be pullin' bitches, not looking like one. instead of wasting your precious get-swole time with legs, why not focus on your biceps and chest? those are the only muscles that bitches care about, yo.

step 4: buy a large supply of Extenze boner pills. you heard right. pop one of these bad boys before you go to bed every night and your dick will grow in no time. not only does your biceps need to be huge, but your dick as well. and after Anarchy Weekend, I know some of y'all need this shit.

step 5: get a heavy spray tan. since none of you like going outside, there's no way you can get a natural tan. plus, why do something the natural, more difficult way when you can just spray a tan on yourself?

that's it, y'all. i hope you take this lengthy guide seriously, you'll be having sex with as many bitches as i do in no time. remember not to neglect any of the steps i have pointed out, it's go big or go home.

She's turning me into a sex addict 

anyone else get some of her yet?

Let's say that tomorrow, Cheat shuts down the site. From the beginning, he's had this diabolical plan to lure us into this "safe haven" to escape from the Desticles, only to take it away right when we're getting comfortable, leaving us to fend for ourselves in b.roken once again.

Listen, I'm not giving you any ideas, Cheat, but that would be a ruse for the ages.

I have to get steroids injected into an unidentified lump of skin on my back that is believed to be a tumor. Am I gonna get sooper swole?

ya know, put some glasses, weed references, mountain dew. the whole shabang.

i would do it myself if i knew how. anyone who volunteers will be repaid in Booty Bucks^TM

I know I would

Did cheat secretly recruit foman to become a mod here?

Let me explain.

We're born into a life without our choosing, on a planet that's slowly dying, with no explanation as to what we're doing here. We grow up learning not what we want, but what we have to in order to produce for society. Do we as humans have an underlying purpose in this shit hole? I'd like to think so. I'd like to truly believe that everything was created by a perfect, omnipotent being, with each of us having our own planned-out life. I want to know for certain that a god is real, that there is something watching over me and causes all of this suffering in the world for a reason. I want to be certain that when I die I can spend the rest of eternity in a paradise with all of the people I've spent my life with, and people that I've had to watch die before me.

However, all of this is starting to become less and less of a possibility for me. Want to know what I believe our real purpose is? To die. That is the only thing that anybody can be certain for, that we will die, but what we do with our allotted time before then is what really matters. That is, if anything we do really matters in the grand scheme of life. Humanity's history is filled with more negative events than positive. We spend our lives on this floating rock and drain it of its resources, what will we do when there's nothing left? Instead of spreading love and peace throughout the world, our leaders would rather murder and corrupt each other, be it in the name of a god or through greed. Maybe we could be a highly advanced species if the world's greatest minds developed methods of helping humans instead of ways to kill them.

Why am I writing this now? I am in no way posing to be some ultra-edgy intellectual in an attempt to gain attention. I tend to have these thoughts every now and then, only I'm starting to have them more frequently. Before I left home for university I was so excited for a fresh start, to forget all of the fucked up things I've done or tried to do, and I was filled with the thought of my attitude on life being different. Well, it has, and it hasn't been for the better. I'm starting to see the true colors of people who I thought were friends, beginning to question what I am even doing with my life, even wonder why I'm alive in the first place. It is pretty much impossible for me to form any sort of strong relationship with someone, whether it's intimate or a friendship. I feel inadequate for this type of society that demands us to work in order to live, only to spend our lives prolonging death. I wish I could refrain from ending up as just another cog in the societal machine, but in this day and age it's almost an impossibility.

Maybe I just need to get some sleep? It'll be a new day and a new opportunity to do new things! If only it could be so easy. One of these nights I just hope that I can fall asleep and never wake up again, and accept the only certain purpose in my life.

https://plug.dj/sep7

stop being a bunch of fgts and join me

I can't fucking wait

Am I the only one around here who finds these hilarious?