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Topics - i am karjala takaisin

Pages: 1 ... 678 910 ... 26
211
Gaming / holy shit GUYS THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!!!!
« on: February 06, 2016, 08:45:00 AM »

send this screenshot to 50 ppl in ur friends list and in 1 week u will get recon...no joke, i got it!!!

212
The Flood / don't worry jim i got you covered
« on: February 05, 2016, 04:18:12 PM »

213
The Flood / i have LITERALLY never seen a single bad artist from russia
« on: January 31, 2016, 03:34:53 PM »
like wtf

214
The Flood / Lois Griffin and Bonnie Swanson are so high on drugs
« on: January 31, 2016, 12:06:42 PM »

it seems they want to have lesbian sex with each other or spank each other's asses.
     

215
that he has a gun and he will "shoot any black people and any white people that try to help"

so now my school is on heightened security and almost no one is here

it's not everyday you start a monday on such an adventurous note

216
The Flood / >opens up deviantart (PART II)
« on: January 24, 2016, 10:51:20 AM »

>closes deviantart

217
The Flood / but the fact of the matter is
« on: January 20, 2016, 05:34:52 PM »
YouTube

most of them are childless, single men who masturbate to anime

218
The Flood / is it gay to masturbate to gay porn?
« on: January 18, 2016, 08:16:24 PM »
t4r

219
The Flood / jocephalopod simulator thread
« on: January 17, 2016, 07:19:19 PM »
The year was 1992, and the Nagorno-Karabakh War was raging on without an end in sight. Because of this, my pet cremation business in Yerevan was receiving much more business than usual, and I soon became one of the more wealthy people on my side of town.

One day, two burly men dressed in military fatigues entered my business.

"Duk’ Jocephalopd?" they demanded.

I nodded instinctively.

Upon doing this, the soldierly men approached me with bellicose speed; one of the beasts restrained me while the other injected me with some sort of sedative. I quickly lost consciousness.

When I woke up, I was strapped down to an operating table inside a stark white room--men in lab coats chattered all around me in an unmistakably Turkic tongue.

After a few minutes, the lab-coated men quieted down while one, presumably the one in charge, gave a command. Of the words he spoke, I understood one, one that stuck out rather ominously--genetik.

Four men gathered around me and began injecting my extremities with large syringes filled with a pale-yellowish liquid. The pain was so intense that I once again passed out.

When I awoke for the second time, I was laying in a bed in some sort of jail cell; besides the bed, the room contained only a mirror and a rather cold looking toilet. A man dressed in an officer's uniform stood nearby.

Something about me felt off. I looked at my arms and legs, and let out a barely audible gasp of horror. I was covered in patches of black fur, and my limbs terminated with grossly misshapen mockeries of canid paws.

I ran over to the mirror. My entire face was projecting outwards, like a snout; small whiskers had sprouted from my cheeks. My canine teeth were larger and sharper, and two apparently functionless dogs ears had grown out the side of my head. On my back was a small tail.

Looking back now, it was like someone had stopped me halfway through transformation in one of those furry fetish drawings--I was truly half man, half dog in appearance, a complete abomination.

"Enjoying your new look?" said the officer. I simply gave him a look that was a mix of anger and disbelief, disbelief that this was actually happening, that people actually did this to me.

He chuckled. "Don't get too comfy in here," he said. "Your touring starts in a few hours."

At the time I hadn't the slightest clue what he could've meant by touring. However, after a few hours, exactly that happened. I was put inside a large glass display case, which was then put on the back of an Azeri military truck, and I was driven around war-torn Armenia, as demonstration of Azerbaijan's scientific prowess.

Men and women would gaze at me in revulsion and pity--frightened little children would point to me and yell "Dug! Dug!", which I assume was them trying to imitate the word dog, a word they must've picked up from Western television. Eventually, I was known throughout the entire Caucasus region as simply "Dug."

In May of 1994, after nearly two years of "touring" and living in Azerbaijani government facilities for further studying, the war finally came to an end, and the United Nations forced Azerbaijan to release me. I decided to use the money I amassed from my pet crematorium (which had been destroyed in a battle) to start a new life in America.

However, my prospects diminished soon after I got off the plane at Kennedy airport. Mothers with children crossed the street to avoid being near me. Business owners refused to hire me, citing that I "did not appear medically fit for the workplace." Everywhere I went, there was staring. I was quickly running out of money.

At last, in January of 1995, I was hired to teleadvertise libido enhancement pills for a budding pharmaceutical company in Manhattan. It may not have been my dream job, but it was a job nonetheless, one with a steady pay and one that allowed me to talk to others. Also, it was at this job that I met Verbatim, the love of my life and one of the only people to accept me despite my looks, and with whom I now have two beautiful children with.

221
Quote
The Hadza's oral history of their own past is divided into four epochs, each inhabited by a different culture. According to this tradition, in the beginning of time, the world was inhabited by hairy giants called the Akakaanebe or Gelanebe, "ancestors". The Akakaanebe did not possess tools or fire; they hunted game by staring at it and it fell dead; they ate the meat raw. They did not build houses but slept under trees, as the Hadza do today in the dry season. In older versions of this story, fire was not used because it was physically impossible in the earth's primeval state, while younger Hadza, who have been to school, say that the Akakaanebe simply did not know how.

In the second epoch, the Akakaanebe were succeeded by the Tlaatlanebe, equally gigantic but without hair. Fire could be made and used to cook meat, but animals had grown more wary of humans and had to be chased and hunted with dogs. The Tlaatlanebe were the first people to use medicines and charms to protect themselves from enemies and initiated the epeme rite. They lived in caves.

The third epoch was inhabited by the Hamakwabe "nowadays", who were smaller than their predecessors. They invented bows and arrows, and containers for cooking, and mastered the use of fire. They also built houses like those of Hadza today. The Hamakwabe were the first of the Hadza's ancestors to have contact with non-foraging people, with whom they traded for iron to make knives and arrowheads. The Hamakwabe also invented the gambling game lukuchuko.

The fourth epoch continues today and is inhabited by the Hamaishonebe, "modern". When discussing the Hamaishonebe epoch, people often mention specific names and places, and can approximately say how many generations ago events occurred.[15]

like damn

they've pretty much had evolution down back when even the most inquisitive of us whities believed modern humans were created with the world 6,000 years ago

maybe it has to do with the hadze being one of, if not the oldest continuous culture in the world

222
The Flood / hey jim rate my taste in music
« on: January 15, 2016, 10:02:07 PM »
YouTube

YouTube

YouTube


223
The Flood / taking a piss ama
« on: January 15, 2016, 09:24:17 PM »
t4r

224
The Flood / The senior, sometimes called the fag-master
« on: January 15, 2016, 08:18:50 PM »
was the protector of his fags and
responsible for their good conduct.


225
The Flood / deviantart
« on: January 11, 2016, 06:53:57 PM »

b r o w s e a r t

226
The Flood / remember
« on: January 10, 2016, 04:10:52 PM »

227
The Flood / a poem
« on: January 10, 2016, 03:05:54 PM »
by ember

sex is a human hex that makes verbatim rather vexed
he most likely would not be found eating
in a tex-mex restaurant (unless his friends brought him there)
and if he were a dinosaur, he probably would not be a t-rex

that is my poem

228
valedictorian

229
The Flood / hey guys, uh
« on: January 06, 2016, 06:02:56 PM »
stu here

230
you haven't lived

231
The Flood / How to decode your teenager's yapping
« on: December 22, 2015, 04:13:08 PM »
For some reason many teenagers are refusing to use proper American. To assist parents with understanding their teenages I will now share my vaste knowledge on the subject of teenage yapping. Simply lookup what your teenager is saying and see what it actually means.



232
The Flood / we need new meme numbers
« on: December 16, 2015, 07:04:37 PM »
sure, 420 and 69 are good and have been around forever, but i'm afraid they are on the verge of becoming stale

therefore, i believe the best course of action is to begin incorporating new numbers with humorous implications into our ever-growing slang

i personally suggest 28980 and 6.08695652174, which are the product and quotient, respectively, of 420 and 69

a rather refreshing spin on two classics if you ask me

233
when will the torment end

234
The Flood / it's too early in the morning for this memery, ryle
« on: December 09, 2015, 06:40:06 AM »
t3+1r

235
The Flood / would you guys buy this for $12.35
« on: December 06, 2015, 06:35:06 PM »

y/n

236
The Flood / suicide bombing at a beach-side hotel in honolulu, hawaii
« on: December 05, 2015, 08:12:19 PM »
bomber is reported as having yelled "aloha akbar" before detonating his explosive vest

237
The Flood / ARRR YOU LEGAL AGED ADULTS READY TO WATCH SOME PORN?
« on: December 05, 2015, 08:00:14 PM »
WHO LIVES IN A VIBRATOR UNDER THE SEA?

238
The Flood / challenger
« on: December 05, 2015, 02:39:36 PM »
change your username to "I Slam Islam"

239
The Flood / SEMTEX
« on: December 04, 2015, 08:01:36 PM »
SEMTEX
SEMTEX
СЕМТЕКС
سيمتكس
SEMTEX

240
The Flood / NSFW how the fuck did i JUST discover this
« on: December 03, 2015, 05:29:28 PM »
YouTube

Spoiler

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