Quote from: Loaf on July 03, 2017, 07:37:15 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on July 03, 2017, 07:33:48 PM

It can be incredibly frustrating to see the ones you love do incredibly stupid or irresponsible shit, so it makes sense to me. I tend to lash out at my loved ones, because that's the only way I know how to express that I care. Unfortunately, though, that just tends to push them further away. Such is life.

That doesn't really correlate with what I said, but I suppose what I said was rather vague in the first place. I am talking about how life is just so unsatisfying. The people you like never seem to like you back, you are sick of getting shit from other people, so you want to give people a gaping wound inside their conscience. At the same time, you wish that you could just be friends with and love others. Sometimes, the same people you want to torment, are the same people that you wish you could perhaps be friends with.

I think I still feel the same way to a certain degree. My anxiety causes me to constantly worry about what the friends I do have think of me—I may consider them a good friend, but maybe they secretly hate my guts and wish I would just go away. It's really quite unpleasant, and as a result, my mind tends to vacillate between "just live for yourself, fuck everyone else" and "yeah but it would be kinda nice to have a bunch of people around who genuinely liked me though"

I hate everyone but I don't necessarily want them to hate me.

True, I know that feeling.

It can be incredibly frustrating to see the ones you love do incredibly stupid or irresponsible shit, so it makes sense to me. I tend to lash out at my loved ones, because that's the only way I know how to express that I care. Unfortunately, though, that just tends to push them further away. Such is life.

That doesn't really correlate with what I said, but I suppose what I said was rather vague in the first place. I am talking about how life is just so unsatisfying. The people you like never seem to like you back, you are sick of getting shit from other people, so you want to give people a gaping wound inside their conscience. At the same time, you wish that you could just be friends with and love others. Sometimes, the same people you want to torment, are the same people that you wish you could perhaps be friends with.

I want to make other people suffer, I want to mentally damage others, other people who want to have a problem with me. But at the same time, I want to have a close, loving relationship with another person. You can never be satisfied, you can never have one without the other.

Quote from: Loaf on June 29, 2017, 10:32:28 PM

Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on June 29, 2017, 10:29:42 PM

Snowflake sexualites attract snowflake mentalities.

Genderqueer people can be really fucking hot, dude.

Yup, not denying that at all.

Some days I just wonder if the chaser life is really worth surrounding yourself with people that you ideologically dislike.

It's not even that I ideologically dislike them. I don't even know what it is. Maybe it's because of self loathing that I always surround myself with people who say awful shit to me anonymously, like 4chan or here or whatever. At the same time, I really enjoy that freeness, because I'm a fucking asshole too. After all, being on the internet for so long, you sort of condition yourself to be around assholes. The payoff though, is that sometimes being on a forum like this can be really hilarious. The road to hell is paved with laughs on websites like this. It's awful, yeah? Sometimes the stuff that other people say is seriously hurtful, but I'd rather have this than some fucking place that wants to censor every goddamn thing you say.

I am always getting banned from websites. Hell, it's gotten to the point, actually, spending all my internet time on websites like this, where I can hardly go to a normal website without interpreting every subtle nuance of a person's sentence as a slight to me. Because I'm just so used to people being assholes on websites like this. So, I guess my point is, I can almost sort of see where people like are coming from, and in a way I sort of admire their purity. Like, I could only imagine myself being like that, where I get upset at every single thing that someone says that doesn't fit my world view. But the thing is, that's just not how it fucking works. I realize that I'm not going to change all the people around me who don't even give a fuck about my world view.

That makes it sound like these people's world view who get offended at the stuff I say actually have something noble that they get indignant over. They don't. I'm just praising their purity, which is one of the things I sort of admire about the sjw, feminist movement or whatever. I think it fucking sucks and I'm totally conflicted about it, but at the same time I really do agree with a lot of the stuff that they stand for.

Quote from: Loaf on June 29, 2017, 10:26:36 PM

lmao sep7agon is garbage. I just got blocked for 24 hours for calling someone a clown and telling them to fuck off back to their tiny car. What a joke.

Did you get banned too? lmao

Yeah.

So I'm in a few genderqueer facebook groups, and it's as bad as you could imagine it. They are that person that you imagine in your head when you think of an obnoxious, overly sensitive little bitch who corrects you at every single thing that you say, which they think is wrong. I'm in a tough spot though, because I honestly feel that some people think "political correctness" means that anyone who says they're wrong is an idiot, when some people actually do say some pretty stupid untrue shit which misrepresents large groups of people. But when you see someone calling you a racist because you think brown is an ugly color for the rainbow flag, then it just makes you feel like all of a sudden you're the most hardcore republican.

Do you ever get that feeling? Idk if you're a republican or a democrat, but speaking interchangeably between the two ideologies, (or whatever, if you think you're above it all, maybe I'm above it all, idk), do you ever feel like all of a sudden you're that guy from the other side you always stereotype, when someone who you identify with politically starts calling you out for something really asinine and stupid, like they're making a big deal out of nothing? That's the weird dilemma I find myself in with so called "sjws". Because, besides not using certain words like retard or cunt or whatever (I really couldn't give a fuck), and cultural appropriation (hurts no one), and checking your privilege, I agree with a ton of stuff that is generally really left wing.

Do you see how this puts me in a really weird awkward position though? Because I'm always in these super left facebook groups, and they really piss me off because I think they're stupid as fuck sometimes, but then they always see me as this nazi hitler richard spencer guy, because they have a very myopic perspective. Fuck, it's just a weird world, and we need more experts. Someone needs to call in the experts right now, and get to work on fixing this shit, like, whatever shit there is to fix. I have no idea what the hell I'm even talking about. Fuck you all, go to hell (god doesn't exist and neither does hell lol fuck you).

Quote from: Loaf on June 28, 2017, 09:24:27 PM

I don't actually want to debate this.

smart

ಠ_ಠ

Quote from: Loaf on June 28, 2017, 08:51:18 PM

Just because it's uncomfortable for me doesn't mean that I don't realize how big of a sham talking to people through text is.

How can online communication be inferior if it's what allows you to truly express your personality? You're not being a sham, you're just being more you.

The way that people talk to each other online is in no way how people would authentically talk to people irl. For instance, people online are often way meaner to someone online than they would be face to face. The reason that talking to people online is less authentic, is because it lacks an extreme amount of the personal element. Like I said before, you're not actually responding to a person through the majority of common means of communication. You're just responding to people through their words, so the stuff that you say to them through words may be unfiltered, but it's not really speaking human to human. It's speaking to, perhaps, an imagination of what you feel the other person would be.

HOAM HOAM HOAM THE CHODE HAS SPOKEN HOAM HOAM HOAM  MY WEAAAAAASLE IS GROWING A BEARD AND i KNOW THAT THIS IS THE LAST TIME IU WILL EVER SEE MY HAMPTON MAN THE BURLY ONE IS ONLY TOO EAGER TO SUPERSEDE THE LOBSTER IN THE FINAL SHOW DOWN AND I KNOW THAT HOW DO YOU COME TO THE FINAL MEOW MEOW YOUR TIME HAS COME DIRTY DAN MEOW MEOW MEOW

Offline, however, it's a different story. I absolutely loathe being around people outside of the internet. I always feel like I'm going to say something stupid, or do something awkward or whatever. For that reason I often feel really stiff. Like, today at art class, I felt so much tension just being around other people. It's because I don't feel like I can truly relax when I'm around others, I don't feel like I can just be spontaneous and just say whatever I want. It's too easy to say or do something which is awkward.

Sure, you could say that it's simply uncomfortable to be around others when the interaction feels awkward. I'm not sure where the root of this feeling lies though. Perhaps I can offer no better explanation than that human beings are a tribal animal by nature. It seems like no matter how much I try to intellectualize it in my brain, whenever I'm around other people it still goes back to that basic instinct of anxiety. I can try to tell myself that life itself is absurd, and the meaning we place on everything is absurd. It makes no difference in the shadow of human nature.

I suppose when you look parallel between my online and offline interaction it makes a lot of sense. Online, I say whatever I want, without any fear of the consequences (although I do usually avoid talking about literally killing people, or saying stuff like how I would love to kill donald trump, or how I think republicans in general should be killed; because then you actually run the risk of someone trying to be an asshole and actually calling the cops on you) because I guess it's like an escape from the pressure and paranoia of offline interaction for me.

Quote from: Desty on June 26, 2017, 03:22:43 PM

You're kinda pathetic, Loaf

If someone's being an asshole, that's their business. If someone's annoying you specifically by means of interaction, the only thoughts of kicking their ass should be of you doing it, and it should be wether you ought to or not. Wishing for things is childish

This


I bet he wouldn't be like this if he picture and his address showed up every time he post.   

Anne Frank

Quote from: Luciana on June 03, 2017, 10:16:18 PM

Try smiling in a picture once or twice, it might not hurt.

i've tried this

can confirm it hurts like hell

And break my facade of detached indifference? I think not.

That's true, because the universe is deterministic and ultimately you have no real choice, but punishment of crimes is just an extension of the evolutionary mechanisms that result in beneficial traits.

It's kinda sad, because that's sort of like a kind of eugenics. But yes, the human being is basically an unthinking process, no different from evolution. Human beings are just a conglomeration of cells, those cells aren't intelligent, they just have competence to do their job. Some argue that intelligence isn't actually intelligence, it's just multiple layers of competences.