How does it feel knowing half the world follows a fake psycho? Jesus Christ got a bunch of people to follow him saying he was god, he was a true scam artist. You wonder why they crucified the fucking bastard because you're stupid.

You’re a nigger, a stupid smelly nigger. You’re so oppressed by society we know, the society you built in your own head. You’ve built your illusion of racism around your delusion that everyone around you is racist. The fact is you want everyone to be racist to make up for the fact that you’re a worthless fuck. You wouldn’t do anything right if you wanted to, if you wanted to get past your pathetic drug peddling job. You little life sucking detriment to the society you live in, introducing drugs and sickness into our world. You’re the carrier of the disease. You’re the rat infestation nigger that is spreading all this poison into our world. You love money, but you love more the taste of the sweet pity and white tears. Lick up those tears big boy, lick up those juicy white tears while you count your bills. Big white boys tears, you lick them like icecream.

Your religion. Your weak crutch, your existential crisis. Your parents taking you to church to believe in god every sunday, you believe in religion just as your parents wanted you to, just as everyone else wanted you to. You have been fooled. You think you’re so dirty and broken on the inside, needing forgiveness, begging for forgiveness from the will of your god. Do you talk with him? Do you want him to intervene in your life? All that time studying the bible, interpreting what it means to fit your unique way of life. A follower of cult convicting you of thought crimes, feeding it money to keep you satisfied and less afraid. You’re so scared, so afraid of life and death, it must be so nice to think there’s someone right there next to you, holding your hand. Your delusion can take you so far, up until the day you die you will be waiting for you afterlife. The big cycle of keeping you and all the rest of Jesus followers happy. Your lie, your delusion, the bullshit being fed to the masses keeping you stupid and insane.

I just want to say how much I hate rape victims. I don’t give a fuck that you were raped. You have become a really obnoxious person, spewing your emotional baggage on every single person that you ever encounter. Like I am supposed to be sympathetic to it, what it really is a form of psychic vampirism. You sap the life out of everyone with your stupid guilt trip. You’re so sad that you were raped, you take it out on everyone else you stupid prick. Getting raped doesn’t sound that bad anyways, just lay down and take it and then go out and tell someone it happened. It shouldn’t be that hard to just tell someone, but you’re so worried about your own pride you wouldn’t want someone to think you were weak for being raped. You’re a pathetic little worm, you’re sucking the joy out of the planet with your existence. I hate how they call you rape “survivors”. You didn’t survive shit, you just got fucked and you probably enjoyed it. You deserve to have someone piss on your face.

I was thinking about praying. I incontrovertibly think praying is 100% ineffective and stupid. If I pray that anything happens it will either coincidentally happen or it just won't happen at all. I just wonder why so many people think that it's good. I was just thinking about how sometimes when I really want something I hope for it and I realized that that is kind of like a prayer. It's the acknowledgement that you really want something which gives me people more hope. Albeit it's a really desperate and pathetic kind of hope, because believing in these kinds of things to get you through your life is rather sad.

I realize though that to any true religious person it's not about the beliefs that are taught, it's about the lessons that are taught to them in the bible. Because what else do they do inside church all day but listen to their preacher tell them stories that happened in the bible and current events and how the correspond with teachings in the bible. It's a really elaborate system that they have set up for these people. They put them in big churches to make the experience of praying seem more important and "divine". But it's all about being a good servant to god's will which apparently makes you a good person (as long as you believe in god).

So people are basically praying because it feels good to them, they feel that they have a moral obligation to pray because that is how they appease their god, who apparently wasn't going to do something nice for them unless they ask him really nicely. So yeah you have fun with your praying, I completely utterly unequivocally absolutely totally understand where you are coming from. 

So I just wanted to say that I really dislike ugly people and I don't want to associate with ugly people. I only want to have friends that are really sexy and really sweet to me. I don't know if anyone quite understands this but i really feel more comfortable around people who are attractive. Not just people who have a generic attractive face or anything but I mean people who really have the kind of facial inflections that calm me. Like people who are comfortable to be around and people who actually make me feel comfortable. The thing is thought that they have to be attractive otherwise I just don't like them. I'm not even being facetious or anything I actually feel this way. Is something wrong with me.

Do you ever think about how the things we see are not really things. In this consumerist society we are so used to seeing duplicate images of matter. It’s not just the manufacturers of these products that make the products, we manufacture these products in our brains. We produce the illusion of manufactured duplicates. In reality what are these products the manufacturers make but a series of weird stuff. Look up what goes into making these products. Weird combinations of plastics with undefinable names, artificial coloring, a combination of products all assembled by different manufacturers. But what about what we manufacture in our own minds.

Everything you do or listen to or look at involves being sensed with different parts of the brain. Every memory you have involves a different portion of the brain to remember it. The sounds, the emotions, the color, the shape. It gives the illusion that things in front of us exist in a concrete form. The understanding of the world is nothing more than an acceptance that you sense the world, and the things you see in the world are what you think they are. The coherent and mathematical delusion of the world can be adopted by anyone, even Nazis and Religious people. Anyone can produce a random assemblage of thoughts and organize them in a way that mimics another product. Even these thoughts are products. They’re manufactured and duplicated.

Importance in this world is often measured by appeal and monetary value. Ask people what their favorite band is, if you say it sucks then they will probably defend it by saying “it has sold more records than whatever your favorite band is”. Importance and intelligence is measured by how we please others. It’s like saying that a telephone pole is greater than a fallen tree in the forest, surrounded by moss and bugs and life. It’s as though if you follow some sort of pattern that correlates with the logic of the human senses then you’re onto something. That’s not the case though. It’s still just manufactured in your brain. If you lose consciousness all of it is disassembled. It’s completely arbitrary.

Everything you think is right and wrong, all your words and things, it’s a product manufactured in your brain. Even those are not the same and you are playing with microscopic building material, measurements of weight and time on scales so small you cannot comprehend, because if you do you will be standing still forever trying to come up with something smaller. There’s minute differences in all of the things in the world.

and I want pedophiles to come and fuck my kids to prove how progressive and open minded I am. Most open minded president in the whole fucking world.

So please stop spreading misinformation.

But I don't need your sympathy I'm comfortable in misery

Corrupted by the darkness, now you fall into an endless sleep
Corrupted by the darkness, now you fall into an endless sleep
Corrupted by the darkness, now you fall into an endless sleep
Corrupted by the darkness, now you fall into an endless sleep
Corrupted by the darkness, now you fall into an endless sleep
Corrupted by the darkness, now you fall into an endless sleep
Corrupted by the darkness, now you fall into an endless sleep
Corrupted by the darkness, now you fall into an endless sleep
Corrupted by the darkness, now you fall into an endless sleep
Corrupted by the darkness, now you fall into an endless sleep
Corrupted by the darkness, now you fall into an endless sleep

We are just the painting, we are the canvas, we are the artwork
When we look at in the broader scheme of things
When we realize that we are not our bodies
That the building in front of you is nothing more than energy, just slowed down
When we also realize that we are not seeing everything as it is
Nothing is what it seems a all, a lot of the times this is liberating.

I don't even give a fuck if people think I am a terrible person. I am not going to get any respect in this world anyways. I wish that I could go and piss off someone to the point where they just end their life. That would be more interesting than having to stay quiet while it pisses me off when other people get praised. I see people getting complements and shit on how pretty they are and people happy with each other. People who go to each other when they are upset and comfort them and shit. I don't think I've felt so much bile in myself after seeing such things. I hate the people of this world and it disgusts me to live in this sad fucking planet. You people disgust me.

I walk down the street and I know that people are like animals. Look at someone the wrong way and they could get upset. They will go and tell their fat husband or wife and they will hate you. People are the kind of vicious chimps that would beat someone up or doxx someone if they felt that they weren't right. I hate the people of this world so much. People with a higher state of consciousness such as myself are more aware of the subtleties of human interaction. I am aware of it which is why I am too subtle and sensitive to cope with it. You people strain my nerves. Every single last person on this fucking planet. I see how twisted this world. You're the subordinate, I'm the subordinate. I day dream about smashing their heads in.

Honestly here's what I would do to the kid

-Gore is not permitted on this site outside of anarchy-



here's sum metal for your enjoyment just for no reason.

we need a place like that where people can go to fuck around. It will be better that way.

In my perfect world everyone would be cute. There wouldn't be sassy negrophiles acting tough. There wouldn't be cold bitterness. Everyone would be sweet and affectionate and kind. There wouldn't ever be any sort of meanness. Just imagine if in a world where anyone had a mean thought everyone showered them with affection instead of hating them. They would be cuddled so hard that all the meanness would disappear out of them. It would be cute and innocent and fun. There wouldn't be prejudice and discrimination. It would just be fun and cute (and sexy).

This is my fucking venting time right now. So I am just going to close my eyes and type because I am kinda tired. Before I got this apartment I have felt like my life was just a miserable fucking grind. A struggle to get to the next day and feel anything. I have been waiting for an opportunity to really feel like myself. Except the anxiety and paranoia has kept me from realizing my true potential for years. For so many years I have felt like I just didn't want to do shit because I felt like my life was not my life. I feel like I was meant to live on my own. My parents always wondered why I never contributed around the house and stuff like that, they thought that I just wouldn't even take care of my own place if I had one. Well they missed one fucking thing and that's that I'm not gonna take care of their fucking house, because I literally just live there because they created me and put me there. Fucking stooges can't get mad at me, those fucking cretin.

So yeah I feel bad about this. because I always treat other people like crap, but I also just can't be myself. My parents don't seem to respect this though. They think that i just have a shitty personality and I don't really respect anyone. So they always talk to me as if I am just being childish and stuff and if I am being annoying. It's a different thing from being annoying and a dip shit to actually having environmental factors that are influencing your behavior. It's like everyone is blind to the fact of how miserable it is for me to not have my own apartment. Except they seem to have noticed after years and years of not... noticing. So they went ahead and got me my own apartment. I feel as though it's come too late though. I feel as though this won't turn around my life. I am extremely old. 20 years old is well into adulthood and I can't just get on with a normal life at this age. It will take so much time to just ease into a normal life, to rehabilitate myself after years of what I consider abuse. Not being on my own and having something to smile about. Being miserable and having to live in a fucking place where people expect me to clean up their fucking house. Nuh uh.

I will try my best to take care of this place though. Not because I am obligated to but because I want to. There is an enormous difference between being pressured to do something you don't want to do and then doing something you want to do because it benefits you. So that is basically the lesson here, is that if you aren't doing something that you want to do then it will definitely impact your life in a negative way. I am just happy to finally be on my own, it's too bad that it came a little bit too late. It will take probably a year to become the person who I truly want to be. I feel as though I am still the sheltered little miserable sack of miserableness that was just release from my parent's house. I want that part of me to wake up. The part of me that has been craving the independence. The part of me that wants to do stuff, the part of me that wants to do stuff because it's what I want to do. I just hope that it develops rapidly and sets a new pace for my life. And I would like to tell everyone that I am happy, finally. This is where things turn around for me.

so um yeah I am here :3

I am sooooooo happy. I have my own place no to do whatever I want >:3

I have quiet, tranquility, no disturbances or people coming around to interrupt me or bother me.

It's sooooooooooo cool :3