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Messages - Epsira
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1711
« on: July 29, 2015, 03:50:46 PM »
 My cells have more interesting lives than I do.
Germs are minorities.
Medicine is made from white people.
If I ignore basic sanitation, I'll catch this guy and die.
1712
« on: July 29, 2015, 03:19:17 PM »
its a mild pejorative at worst tbh
Not when my Miyazaki-senpai uses it 
He does?
“You see, whether you can draw like this or not, being able to think up this kind of design, it depends on whether or not you can say to yourself, ‘Oh, yeah, girls like this exist in real life. If you don’t spend time watching real people, you can’t do this, because you’ve never seen it. Some people spend their lives interested only in themselves. Almost all Japanese animation is produced with hardly any basis taken from observing real people, you know. It’s produced by humans who can’t stand looking at other humans. And that’s why the industry is full of otaku!” He's right though, a lot of anime lacks human empathy and settles for shallow pandering.
I mean, he's saying the fans are ruining their own medium as self-indulgent escapists.
1713
« on: July 29, 2015, 03:08:55 PM »
Uh... I don't want to hog names, so...
Ol'Greg
got it
Ironically, that was going to be my last attempt for this round :\
1714
« on: July 29, 2015, 03:06:44 PM »
Uh... I don't want to hog names, so...
Ol'Greg
1715
« on: July 29, 2015, 03:05:14 PM »
Solipsio
1716
« on: July 29, 2015, 03:03:27 PM »
I have impeccable timing for checking these things.
Glubglub
1717
« on: July 29, 2015, 02:53:47 PM »
wait is this ribbon?
1718
« on: July 29, 2015, 02:52:17 PM »
man i wish i can find 20 dollars hanging around
Sometimes I find them while walking around. I live in an affluent city.and damn drugs? how'd you find that I was snooping around in my sister's room.
1719
« on: July 29, 2015, 02:45:18 PM »
Heroin. I don't use drugs :\
Occasionally $20.00 bills.
A jewelry box filled with precious stones.
Oh, and really sketchy spiders from time to time. They go outside.
1720
« on: July 29, 2015, 02:37:05 PM »
the morgue
Are morgue attendants good lays/good gfs?
Not the attendants.
I don't follow...
"Sometimes it feels good to give a bit of yours" rigor mortis is one of the biggest cock-blocks there is
I had phantom tit syndrome (which I'm fairly sure is a medical condition of mine now)
body bags are definitely a turn-on.
Come hell or high water, I was going to fuck a cadaver.
in the name of necrophilia I opened that door.
All eyes were now trained on me, including the surgeon handling the scalpel (boner-kill personified... Or perscalpified).
I think I babbled like Bill Clinton, nearly elucidating my internal monologue, "I do not want sexual relations with that corpse."
She gave me her signature smirk and head tilt, something you'd see in an anime. It made me sick to my stomach. No one that awful deserves anime quirks without answering to your level 250 in Maplestory. No one.
It worked like a pagan sacrifice on Samhain.
It was time for operation: sleeping beauty.
"Here comes Pimpeii, Aurora"
In essence, I managed with the grace of a horny walrus.
charged my Rohirim horse cock into her Helms Deep, post battle.
The ocean, I can firmly attest, lacks firmness and is much too salty.
If there is a heaven, there are dead people there, and you can fuck them.
Jackson Pollock ain't got shit on me; she transcended art with my glazing and went straight to pure, unambiguous emotion. Bad touch would be proud, she was smothered and covered like waffle-house-hash-browns.
I desired nothing more than to Lara Croft the hell out of it.
Frictional force is the best, hands down.
She was my Sea Biscuit, and we won gold.
let my drill pierce the heavens
I sent her out... with a bang. And by this I mean I had no idea what to do with the body.
Yet this experience, even in all of its thirty minute brevity, transformed me.
Jerry junior nodded in assent at the conception of this brilliant idea.
This doesn't mean I've drawn the line here though, that would be like having your cake without eating it too (which is one of the stupidest phrases to pimple the ass of the English language).
It seems like I can't catch a break between wheeling these tables like go-carts and dealing out double dick dosages to dead damsels.
1721
« on: July 29, 2015, 02:24:42 PM »
the morgue
Are morgue attendants good lays/good gfs?
Not the attendants.
1722
« on: July 29, 2015, 02:14:51 PM »
1723
« on: July 29, 2015, 02:05:53 PM »
I liked 2007 better :\
1724
« on: July 29, 2015, 02:03:46 PM »
>Fallout
>Buzz
oh, you mean these?
*Anus clenches*
*backpedaling intensifies*
1725
« on: July 29, 2015, 02:00:27 PM »
Saying "Otaku" is like saying "Hacker." Both mean the people are actually very invested in their interest, whatever it is. There's a connotation with particular interests that colors perception of the terms, however.
Both just mean you're really passionate about something, to an obsessive point.
Actually in Japan being called an Otaku is considered an insult. It's sort of parralell to being called a basement dwelling neckbeard in north america.
That's the colloquial meaning and association... which may as well be the definition for its effective use.
It's because of things like this that queer doesn't usually mean weird anymore, though the word itself sounds weird (and I like it).
1726
« on: July 29, 2015, 01:53:21 PM »
So we've established that it's a chemical imbalance that, from what I'm seeing, cannot be counteracted by consciously trying to be happy through introspective analysis or engaging in things that make you happy. It all depends on the person, for some introspective analysis and engaging in loved activities does help; it's dependent on which neurotransmitters are effectively released for said activities.
As far as the chemical imbalance thing goes, I think it's also important to consider how people go about treating depression as natural predisposition or a conditioned emotional state. The former tends to be more reliant upon medication, and the latter is usually treated on suspicion of the former, so more medication. Medication isn't a solution in itself, it's about the effect. I think both can be utilized, but it's incredibly important to understand someone else's experience and see what triggers their depression rather than assuming medication can "fix" the issue.
Do you think antidepressants are the best solution to this problem? I was always skeptical about them since I assumed one would become dependant on them, but seeing as how it's more physiological than mental, I assume it's the most practical route. I've heard that people could improve by seeking consistent therapy as well. My previous statement addresses all but the last sentence.
I have problems with therapists, but they can work. Everyone has their own existential biases that make mutual understanding difficult, and often the results of sessions are one-sided attempts to introduce behaviors which normalize individuals (because you're going in to see them, not the other way around). In that sense, it can feel that they're just trying to help you reach a quota and not your needed state of mind. I also think the notion of them being friends is manipulative in the sense that I don't pay my friends to fucking talk to me.
1727
« on: July 29, 2015, 01:22:09 PM »
Good old Skyrim ragdoll physics.
What was the name of this mod again?
1728
« on: July 29, 2015, 01:14:53 PM »
its a mild pejorative at worst tbh
Not when my Miyazaki-senpai uses it
1729
« on: July 29, 2015, 01:13:25 PM »
But leaning more on the negative side of obssesive?
I guess it would largely depend on someone's judgement. Someone who was working on a cancer cure for 40 hours straight would be seen in a different light than a WoW player raiding for 40 hours straight.
I think obsession can be utilized beneficially.
1730
« on: July 29, 2015, 01:07:05 PM »
Saying "Otaku" is like saying "Hacker." Both mean the people are actually very invested in their interest, whatever it is. There's a connotation with particular interests that colors perception of the terms, however.
Both just mean you're really passionate about something, to an obsessive point.
1731
« on: July 29, 2015, 12:40:14 PM »
I honestly have no idea...
You changed the title you gock cobler
Here's your punishment(?)
1732
« on: July 29, 2015, 12:34:48 PM »
A few of the posts ITT I can really sympathise with, not nearly to the extent of some of you guys, but still can get pretty bad sometimes. I only wish there was more that Friends could do to support someone going through depression, because that despair can get so intense that it traps almost every positive emotion.
Now, I consider myself to be a self motivator, in that I'm normally able to change my mood and energy by analysing my current mindset, what's causing the negative emotion I'm feeling, and then that usually calms me down enough to realise I'm actually in a good situation after all. However, this all went out the window quite recently, when for about a week, I simply wasn't able to lift my confidence or mood from an absolute well of despair that kept me there for what felt like an eternity. This experience was something I woudn't wish on my worst enemy, and made me realise that people with depression simply can't shake it. It's not as simple as "oh, I'll just listen to a motivational song and be okay." It makes you your own worst enemy.
I hope what I've written makes sense, I'm a bit sleep deprived.
No. What you said make sense. Pretty much spot on. I know that for me, depression is like deflection. Anything that comes in, is deflected back around at me. Take happy days for instance. After really good days, something goes wrong in my head and then I start to redirect everything in a negative manner and it gets me down.
It's like a game of cat and mouse, especially if you're aware of it. It's all just mind games, and, you are right. You become the last person you can trust essentially.
It's like you're the Batman AND the Joker in Gotham inundated with fear gas.
It's dissonant as fuck.
1733
« on: July 29, 2015, 12:31:50 PM »
1734
« on: July 29, 2015, 12:20:53 PM »
I read Homestuck and I've read other stuff in the past.
1735
« on: July 29, 2015, 05:20:04 AM »
If I ever start hallucinating in cartoons I know something's gone horribly wrong.
1736
« on: July 29, 2015, 04:55:29 AM »
I CANT GROW ANY HAIR
You lucky bastard.
1737
« on: July 29, 2015, 02:49:09 AM »
it ultimately depends on a multitude of mathematic variables
...Go on...
1738
« on: July 29, 2015, 02:45:27 AM »
From the exaggerated juxtaposition of the Lucky Star characters to the Perfect Blue protagonist I can call satire.
1739
« on: July 29, 2015, 02:37:51 AM »
Lord hood is an old wrinkly ass military muppet.
She'd demolish him.
1740
« on: July 29, 2015, 01:58:57 AM »
Story I was hospitalized three months ago because I thought killing myself was imminent (which was true, but I also did it to get extensions on school projects). Right before I was hospitalized I didn't think of killing myself when I was depressed and angry, but even from neutral states because I thought it was imminent and sensible. I don't even consider killing myself to be sad, it's an alternative to an imposed existence I have little agency to change.
When I was hospitalized I was diagnosed with a few mental disorders and transferred to a psych ward. The nature of confinement and routine was maddening, the patients ranged from lizard-people conspiracy theorists who believed they were doing business research to medicated zombies.
I didn't like the doctors there. Time was short with all patients and communication suffered. I made contrary cases for the diagnoses they posited without substantial testing, and was largely ignored. I was recommended medications I could refuse with the risk of being detained longer, so I took them and lost my mind for parts of the day. There are few things I'm afraid of losing. Mental clarity is certainly one of them.
I felt curiously capable and motivated, despite medications and treatment by staff. There was nowhere for me to run to, no distractions to sidetrack me.
I thought about why I was the way I was, what I wanted to do, and how I could do it. I mainly did this because I understood then that if I didn't do something people would retain influence over me and my interests and I'd never freely pursue what I truly desire. So I fought.
I fought in the meetings to earn the respect of every staff member and the other patients.
I fought with my failing brain to focus on my personal work.
I fought with the doctor (though he was never the wiser) and earned his praise so I could be released earlier.
And I was. This could have been the worst point of my life, yet it has so far been a beneficial shift overall. Practical Piece I realized every pathological thought functioning against my goals were a conditioned behavior dependent on developed associations and stimulant-induced basis, and that I could identify stimulants and their reactions to figure out what affects me specifically and how to interrupt/reverse the process. So I went back through my life and identified every effective period where pathological psycho-physiological processes became entangled with my ideals and goals. I'm still working on both the approach I use for reconditioning and what neurological networks I should develop (and how) to progress with what I desire, how I desire to.
This is how I'm starting to develop characteristics that make me functional for my desires.
If anyone's interested, I'll share whatever I have with them. It's really good to have another viewpoint for proper evaluation too, so I'd be pretty thankful for it.
I'm not bothered by PMs either, so if you want (or need to), message me.
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