It was Tyler all along.

oh wow

Whet the feck did yee jest feckeng sey abeet me, yee lettle betch? e’ll heve yee knew e gredeeted tep ef my cless en the Nevy Seels, and e’ve been envelved in nemerees secret reeds en El-Qeeeda, end e heve ever 300 cenfermed kells. I em treened en gerille werfere end e’m the tep sneper en the entere ES ermed ferces. Yee ere netheng te me bet jest enether terget. E well wepe yee the feck eet weth preceseon the lekes ef whech hes never been seen befere en thes Eerth, merk my fekeng werds. Yee thenk yee cen get ewey weth seyeng thet shet te me ever the enternet? Thenk egeen, fecker. es we speek e em centecteng my secret netwerk ef spees ecross the ESE end yeer EP es beeng treced reght new se yee better prepere fer the sterm, magget. The sterm that wepes eet the pethetec lettle theng yee cell yeer lefe. Yee’re fecking deed, ked. E cen be enywhere, enyteme, end e cen kell yee en ever seven hendred weys, end thet’s jest weth my bere hends. Net enly em E extensevely treened en unermed cembet, bet E heve eccess te the entere ersenel ef the Eneted Stetes Marene Cerps and E well ese et te ets fell extent te wepe yeer mesereble ess eff the fece ef the centenent, yee lettle shet. Ef enly yee ceeld heve knewn whet enhely retrebeteen yeer lettle “clever” cemment wes ebeet te breng dewn epen yee, meybe yee weeld heve held yeer feckeng tengee. Bet yee ceeldn’t, yee dedn’t, end new yee’re peyeng the prece, yee geddamn edeot. E well shet fery ell ever yee end yee well drewn en et. Yee’re feckeng deed, kedde.

How is this even a fair fight?

Do I have to do this shit again?


*Saleem

Your cat facts for today.
Did you know that cats are able to drink seawater in order to survive?
Cats have sweat glands in their paws and use them to mark their territory.

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Oh no I mean do you know a way I could text with a fake #

Eh? Need it to be from my on phone tho

Quote from: Jocephalopod on August 27, 2015, 07:41:18 PM

pretty sure we already know what kinder looks like

kinder on youth debates right now

I used to be a legendary chess player, beating all the inferior dogs of men who dared to stare across the checkered board. My fascination of the game fostered into my head when my family's apartment bloc was struck by a western mortar shell. Instead of sending us to the dedushka in the sky, the shell just sat there on the toilet sink, ever still as if the slightest of movements would unleash it's infinite rage.

For days I would look into the face of the shell, reading the chalk black letters U S A until the multitudinous echoes of the phrase tormented my Slavic head. My father, a violent man, would exhibit fits of querulous defiance as he spat his fiery goulash onto the cold device of american oppression. After each of the countless Serbian defeats were broadcast on the radio he would take out his nationalist anger on me. "иди сюда, мой питомец" he would bellow, as I lunged under the counter desperate to escape his meaty grasp.

On the most violent nights, when my father did manage to capture me, he would make sure I understood his distilled rage. With his burly hands around the back of my neck, he would take the Ivory chess set out of the cupboard and force fed the pawns into my mouth. ignorant of the gags and struggle, he would look into my eyes and whisper "Вы пешкой , слабый в метрополии , но сильный , когда в окружении врага .
Vy peshkoy, slabyy v metropolii, no sil'nyy, kogda v okruzhenii vraga ." (you are like pawn, weak in the mother country yet strong when in the home of the enemy, either you betray your nation for power, or stay honorable in defeat).

these words shook me to my core. After the last Christmas prompted my ageing father to throw the family sobaka into the fireplace for warmth, the men in white coats came and took me away from my family. I am now here in the land of america, ready to unleash the power of my pawn within.


Sign me up.

you wanna 420HC later?

reminds me of the time I beat up 30 women at stop and shop

how many black men could i kill with these?

how many are in chains?

Wow, Seax is hot

you wanna have hot seax with me?

Quote from: Jocephalopod on August 27, 2015, 01:58:13 AM

#Invalid YouTube Link#

I lost

Spoiler

saw that ninja edit

Don't speak of this.

I've covered the accident

Most people won't laugh at this, it was funny Late at night