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Messages - Jocephalopod
Pages: 1 ... 424344 4546 ... 279
1291
« on: January 18, 2016, 12:56:16 AM »
was sitting on my outdoor toilet with my legs starting to get really numb when I heard a loud knocking on my attenuated outhouse door. after a few solid bangs the hinges swung forward revealing a pack of latin landscapers who had been pruning my exotic and very expensive suburban garden of Eden. 3 of the beasts with torsos commensurate to the lengths of their stocky bodies held me down upon the throne, muffling my heaving screams while trouncing any attempt of escape with their big strong sweaty and secure Spanish arms.
The apparent leader of the tribe took position directly in front of me, motioning one the lesser dregs in producing a sanctified pair of hedge clippers. The alpha leaned in close, wiping his brow before solemnly whispering ¿soy pobre porque no puedo hablar Inglés?.
with one fluid motion he pruned my inferior white thighs into two bloody stumps. All i could do was stare in agony as the lack of previous blood flow neutralized a painful response. the men released my conscious half while placing the detached legs in a white shopping cart before driving off in a van marked "Santa Dominica Church of Jesus Christ Our Lady Of Mercy XXXIVii"
I haven't left the outhouse since.
1292
« on: January 18, 2016, 12:55:58 AM »
Aw man that sucks. My cuisine esmeralda Santa Dominica III died in a car crash in 200 and 6 and for the past 9 years I've wrapped black electrical tape around my thighs and arms with pictures of her and her signature written within. I've been made fun of and had to eat in the bathroom during lunch time my whole life but its worth it as I honor my family with each passing day. Don't let anyone tell you you aren't worth it and keep on being the unique individual you are.
1293
« on: January 18, 2016, 12:48:11 AM »
yes
1294
« on: January 18, 2016, 12:31:42 AM »
These South American shits will fund their own demise 
1295
« on: January 17, 2016, 12:31:34 AM »
New Zealand should have been made into Israel tbh
You never stop trying to sell our land, John Key.
it will be good for business
and the lamb
Like how prostituting your daughter was good for business.
lol what the fuck i feel like jim would be into her
1296
« on: January 17, 2016, 12:03:29 AM »
New Zealand should have been made into Israel tbh
You never stop trying to sell our land, John Key.
it will be good for business and the lamb
1297
« on: January 16, 2016, 11:15:33 PM »
just won over 10k
1298
« on: January 16, 2016, 09:36:30 PM »
got pics of the sex?
1299
« on: January 16, 2016, 09:15:48 PM »
New Zealand should have been made into Israel tbh
1300
« on: January 16, 2016, 09:10:30 PM »
we should advertise this site on wikipedia articles tbh
1301
« on: January 16, 2016, 09:08:24 PM »
Aggressive member : Don't you have autism though?
1302
« on: January 16, 2016, 08:48:33 PM »
I was on a wakypidea article for Thomas Jefferson one time and the "early life" section started with "Tobey Maguire broke down and cried"
1303
« on: January 16, 2016, 03:37:37 PM »
1304
« on: January 15, 2016, 05:10:12 PM »
he looks like he should be on duck dynasty thbh
1305
« on: January 15, 2016, 04:26:02 PM »
Again with the landmines
1306
« on: January 15, 2016, 03:55:52 PM »
1307
« on: January 15, 2016, 03:54:45 PM »
what material arts do you take>?
MMADS
what was the S for? wait no, you said MDMA am confus
1308
« on: January 15, 2016, 03:50:34 PM »
what material arts do you take>?
1309
« on: January 15, 2016, 03:39:50 PM »
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Who's watching this in PRISON?
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
1310
« on: January 15, 2016, 02:02:46 PM »
Put me in the cake
1311
« on: January 14, 2016, 11:00:59 PM »
Post Traumatic Sexual Desire?
1312
« on: January 14, 2016, 10:01:14 PM »
1313
« on: January 14, 2016, 08:19:15 PM »
god fucking damn yes. This is the pudgy barrel chested European mad scientist I have been lusting over. The things this man can do with his meaty worn hands. Ohmyfucking god just tie me in the sling and fuck me up the butt-chin you barren headed beast
1314
« on: January 14, 2016, 07:22:33 PM »
good group, but not as good as Passion! of the Christ.
1315
« on: January 14, 2016, 03:13:11 PM »
literally the face of this company
Spoiler chekm8  Spoiler when the 5th plateau is reach smh tbh  Praise dug.
this is why we fight 
1316
« on: January 14, 2016, 03:01:08 PM »
literally the face of this company Spoiler chekm8 Spoiler when the 5th plateau is reach smh tbh
1317
« on: January 14, 2016, 07:24:57 AM »
oh shit, he was in this one movie where he put some people in a tub to make perfume or some shit right?
1318
« on: January 13, 2016, 09:17:54 PM »
shows over
I win
1319
« on: January 13, 2016, 08:58:19 PM »
1320
« on: January 13, 2016, 08:02:33 PM »
laughing on line
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