Chapter 9: Mute, Cena, and the corrupted part 2.

Verbatim was aware of everything that was going on around him. But the reason he didn't react is because he was obviously suffering hallucinations caused by LSD. Camnator must have snuck it into his body somehow. That could be the only explanation for what just happened, he was having an acid trip. The last thing he wanted to do was to go anywhere or do anything, who knows what might have happened. That terrible ordeal where Jay and those two other women gave birth on him? It didn't happen. So Verbatim decided to ignore everything he heard or saw until the hallucinations began to go away. He was going to murder Camnator when this was over.

Verbatim didn't even react when Vien stepped out of the stall as a sanghieli wearing a thong. Vien wasn't really there, he was still with the others. Verbatim was alone in the bathroom with his hallucinations. But he couldn't deny how realistic these hallucinations were. They looked real, they sounded real, they even had a scent. Verbatim thought he smelled lavender coming from Vien. Even seeing Sigourney Weaver turn into an armored female sanghieli looked incredibly real...were acid trips supposed to be this detailed? He didn't know, but there was no way this was actually happening. So he stayed in his corner curled up in his fetal position, trying to go to his happy place....the field of dead babies. But the babies were not dead, they were crawling toward him smiling with eyeless smiles....and they were laughing.

Verbatim flinched, it was Camnator laughing, not the babies. He wasn't sure Camnator was there or whether it was a hallucination. A hallucination that was now smoking a hookah, with a plastic bag sitting next to him labeled "Super weed". Well, it certainly seemed like Camnator, perhaps he was really there, tripping on the very same LSD. Verbatim felt like lunging at him, but didn't want to take the chance. So he just kept still....even when something burst through the door and took it off it's hinges.

"Do not move, it isn't happening" Verbatim thought, but he was finding it harder not to move, especially when "Sigourney Weaver" now "Jane", picked him up. He was startled to feel her arms wrapped around him, as if they had substance.  They felt too real to be a hallucination. "Do not move" he thought to himself again...he began to tremble. Jane thrust him into Vien's arms and he felt his head sag against Vien's cool chest. He was petrified, he couldn't move. Verbatim felt Vien's big scaly muscles flexing against his cheek. It was at this point that Verbatim knew he had to do something, he had to move. Hallucination or not, he could not stand this. But he was too afraid to move, he was paralyzed with fear.

"Move damn it!!!" he thought to himself. Vien put a hand under Verbatim's chin and tilted his head up. He was forced to look into the sanghieli's face looking down on him with concern. Vien's mandibles clacked as he spoke "Do not fear, I will protect you." Verbatim felt Vien caress the back of his head and neck, stroking him affectionately. This snapped him out of his paralysis. He flailed in Vien's arms and shouted "LET ME THE FUCK GO YOU FREAK!!!"

Vien let him go and he dropped to the floor. "Now listen, I know you are all probably hallucinations and you will fade with time. But until then, STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" he shouted. "Dude, Verbatim," Camnator said, obviously very high, "Get the stick out of your ass man." "DON'T YOU TELL ME TO GET ANY STICKS OUT OF MY ASS, YOU DRUGGED ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Verbatim screeched. "Naw dude, you've gone incoherent. I only smoke weed. Weed clears your mind bro, perhaps I should give you some." Verbatim was about to shout again when suddenly he felt a loud painful smack against the side of his cheek.  He stumbled across the bathroom and hit the wall, tears watering up in his eyes. "Do visions cause pain, human?" Jane said, putting her armored glove back on. Verbatim stood there, dumbfounded and sore. No matter how powerful hallucinations are, they could not possible cause pain like that. This was too crazy. What the hell was going on?

"Jane" Vien said, "You could be a bit nicer" "I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO BE NICE!" she roared. "WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!" Verbatim watched her walk up to the door, shove Camnator to the side with her foot, then she flashed an energy sword to life and cut apart what appeared to be the corner of some wooden structure that was sticking through the door frame. She kicked the broken pieces out of the way. Verbatim could hear somebody screaming "ALL BOW TO THE MIGHT LORD OF PORCHES!!!" followed by another scream and an explosion.

"Come, we must go." Jane said, but then a moan came from behind the group. Jay had awakened. "Wha....where am I?" she began to murmur, then she opened her eyes and saw Harlow and 2 other women laying unconscious next to her. Jay looked up and saw Camnator smoking a bong while gazing at her with reddened eyes, Verbatim glowering at her, then she saw Jane in her alien form and began to whimper with fear. Then she saw Vien, standing there with his majestic sangheili anatomy displayed wearing nothing but pink thong. "You have awakened," Vien said. "You've had a rough time." Jay immediately let out an ear piecing shriek, it seemed to stab at Verbatim's brain and he immediately covered his ears, but it was useless. Jay was like a banshee, her scream was worse than nails on chalkboard, it was almost as bad as child's laughter.

Jane took several strides over and with one simple movement, snapped Jay's neck, and let her fall to the ground apparently dead. Then she took out a metal orb, pressed a few buttons on it. The orb hovered over Jay's neck and two metal tendrils extended from its carapace and pierced Jay. Her body convulsed for a bit and then seemed to freeze. It was as if she were in suspended animation....except that she's dead. Strands of her hair remained floating in the air. "JANE!" Vien shouted "YOU MURDERED HER!" But Jane cut him off "I muted her. She is not dead. It would be a mercy to her if she were." Then she had the Orb do the same to Rose, Shadows, and Harlow. "It's the only thing you can do to the corrupted. It's the only way you CAN fight them....but you forgot....haven't you?" she asked Vien. She didn't wait for an answer. "Do NOT go near ANY of them." Jane ordered, "Do not give them ANY attention. That will break the hold and they will be free again."  Jane looked out the door, she seemed to be Surveying the area. Verbatim could hear fire alarms screeching and people screaming. Another voice shouted "TODAY IS THE DAY OF THE PORCH!!!" Jane quickly ducked back into the bathroom. A large object sailed past the door and crashed down the hallway. "Come, we must go quickly. We have delayed long enough.

They all followed her outside, Camnator clunked his hookah along with him. Jane immediately grabbed it from him, pulled out a plasma pistal and vaporized it. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! WHY?!?!?!" Camnator wailed. "If I didn't need you, I would leave you behind. But it seems you have a role to play in the events that are transpiring. Be that as it may, I will not be slowed down by your drugs. I need you sharp." Jane responded. "b-but you ignoramous" Verbatim heard Camnator murmer..."it makes me sharp." Jane ignored him, touched a button on her wrist and spoke into it. "Viktor, I am sending you my location. They found the host. There are several corrupted humans around my location. One of them appears to have gained the ability....to spawn porches. We are no match for him. We need your help. Please hurry."

"JOOHN CENA!!!!" said a loud voice over Jane's communications device. "No way.....!" Camnator said, a look of glee coming over his face. "This is going to be awesome!"   But Verbatim groaned....it couldn't possible get any worse. This whole situation felt like something some deranged autistic creep would dream up.

I like mine, a lot.

Chapter 7: Porch day incarnate

Camnator liked to think of himself as an optimist, as a free-thinker. Weed opened his mind to lots of possibilities, it connected him to the earth and its life. He could detect the auras around everybody and everything. He could tell from somebody's aura whether they were happy, sad, angry, or scared. He could tell when somebody wasn't being honest because their auras would fluctuate. Vien was definitely hiding something, but he felt no ill will from him. No matter what mood people were in, he always thought auras were beautiful. They were proof that people were truly alive. There were no ugly Auras in the world...until he saw Harlow and Jay.

Harlow's aura was almost nonexistant. It was as if he were an empty vessel, devoid of any personality or original thought whatsoever. His life-force was just...there. It was just enough to keep Harlow alive and functioning. Jay's aura on the other hand...Camnator didn't quite know how to describe it. Such unadulterated evil and chaos shouldn't even exist. Her aura felt like an affront, an insult to life itself. It didn't feel like a life force...it felt like disease and corruption, it felt like it wasn't even human. No....not even inhuman could describe it. It didn't even feel alive...yet it was too powerful to deny. Oh god it was powerful.

Camnator felt like he had been hit with pure malice and deceit. For the first time in many many years, he was actually afraid. It felt like oppression and chaos, the embodiment of purposeful incoherence. Yet he in that moment, he also understood why she became so popular. Her aura carried with it temptation, manipulation, and deceipt. It writhed around her like tendrils. She had the power to bend people to her will. To make them her slaves. He didn't know how Jay was alive...she couldn't possibly have such a vehement yet powerful puissance. Camnator found that he couldn't breath or move for a moment. He could feel his muscles tremble involuntarily. Finally he summoned up the will to turn away. Immediately he felt better, he felt relieved. Shaking, he joined Vien.

Nobody else seemed aware of anything unusual. But then again, they did not have the gift of sight. They did not smoke weed. For the first time in his life, Camnator wondered if they were right not to smoke it. They did not see the storm surrounding Jay. To them, she was just a relatively attractive woman. Camnator pretended to be paying attention to the conversation Vien and longface were having. Longface, actually did have a very long face. It was definitely a deformation, and it caused him to form his words funny when he spoke. Which caused Camnator to chuckle. The horror he had felt began to ebb away.

Longface turned to face Camnator and said "Whaat ayr yeeeeu leefing eet?" he asked, which caused Camnator to laugh even harder. "Do not mind Camnator" vien answered, "If I had to guess, the influence of marijuana causes him to find great mirth in the most unpredictable of things." Verbatim came up and said "Guys, I have to use the restroom. I'll be right back." then he left in a hurry.

Camnator looked around and didn't see Jay or Harlow anywhere. Assuming they went to explore all the booths and demos, Camnator relaxed, reached in his pocket and got out a bag of weed infused candy drops, unwrapped one and popped it in his mouth. Some of the bungie.net members got up and headed off to check out the rest of PAX. But he and Vien waited for Verbatim to get back.

Spartan Ken was still sticking around. He began to talk about halo xbox one 2. "I thought halo had died with halo 4 but then I thought it had died with Halo xbox one." Ken began, " Seriously, what were they thinking turning Halsey into an AI? But I am really excited about halo xbox one 2 because they are bringing back armor lock. I really like armor lock." Ken went on and on for about 15 minutes. Verbatim was taking a long time to get back.

Suddenly the lights began to flicker and the loudspeakers which had been making announcements began to emit a bunch of loud static. The displays at all the demos pixelated and distorted. Murmers and shouts of confusion began to spread around the crowd. A tall cloaked hooded figure ran past Vien and Camnator in the direction that Verbatim took. Probably a Jedi Cosplayer.

The power struggled and a few of the computers went out. But after a few moments, it came back on and stabilized. Whatever had happened seemed to be fixed. It was at this time that Camnator heard Vien gasp. Camnator looked up at the giant and saw him looking at his cell phone. His face became as pale as chalk. "Is something wrong Vien?" Camnator asked. "u-uh.....no. It's nothing." Vien replied, but his aura fluctuated rapidly. "I have to use the restroom too" he said and hobbled off hurriedly.

Camnator stayed there and waited, suckling on his weed candy. Spartan ken was still yammering, apparently unaware that nobody was listening to anything he said or cared. Camnator closed his eyes and lifted his legs and rest them on the table. When he did that, he heard something collide and bounce along the floor, followed by a dozen gasps. Annoyed, he opened his eyes and said "Oh come on, my shoes aren't tha.....tha....dir..." he stopped and looked at the table in disbelief. No.....it had changed. Its material also changed. No longer was it made of plastic.....it became a platform made of wooden planks. In the middle of the platform was spartan ken. No, only the upper half of Sparten Ken. It looked like his body had phased through it. Ken had an expression of shock on his face. He began to gasp for air and began to cough up blood, but then his head slumped. The table.....had turned into a porch....a dead Spartain Ken was on the porch. Camnator didn't know what to do.

Suddenly people began to scream as other various objects began to turn into porches. Some people got crushed and thrown by the rapid extension of the porches edges, others phased through the porches and died as Ken did. It was chaos. People kept screaming "THERE ARE PORCHES ON MY TABLE, WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!" Camnator was thrown into the air as his own chair turned into a porch. He landed with a painful thud. But he got up and began to run for it. He had to find Vien and Verbatim. He consulted his weed-induced gifts andfollowed the yellow trail. Objects to his left and right kept turning into porches. Camnator ducked and barely dodged a porch that nearly took off his head and he jumped over another one.

Porches of different sizes and different styles kept popping up all over the place. Camnator tripped over a tile that had turned into a 3 foot porch. Suddenly he felt something in his mouth extend and push against the sides of his cheeks and against the back of his throat, causing him to gag and choke. He used his fingers to pry open his mouth as wide as he could, and spat out his weed candy....which had turned into a small porch. Camnator heard a loud crash that shook the building, followed by what sounded like a bunch of glass following to the floor coming from the main area. Camnator stopped and looked back in shock....a huge patio had crashed through the skylight and smashed against the floor. A few seconds later, bodies fell through the opening in the roof and splattered against the patio, followed what appeared to be the turbines of a jet engine which crashed against the floor, sending the blades flying in all directions, some of which turned into porches while they were in midair, splintering when they hit the walls.

Camnator shouted and continued to run. He picked up the trail which led him to the men's room. He opened the door then slammed it behind him. He had a moment to catch his breath. But what he found in the bathroom was a sight he could not believe. Jay and 2 other women were on the ground. Alive, but unconscious. Jay's aura lost its maliciousness. Sitting in the corner of the bathroom in a fetal position was Verbatim. But Camnator couldn't believe who was standing in the middle of the bathroom. He had to blink his eyes a few times. But he was not mistaken, Sigourney Weaver was standing there, looking at him. A ferocious look in her eyes.

She walked over and went past Camnator, grabbed the door handle to the entrance of the bathroom, and tied it in a knot with impossible strength. Then she went over to the stall and rapped her knuckles on the door. "Vien!" she snapped, "Get out here right now." A voice much unlike Vien's answered, "Jane...I mustn't. My device is running out of power. I will be discovered." his voice was much deeper and oddly familiar. "It doesn't matter. Get out here or I will tear that door down and drag you out here. It is time for you and I to explain to these whelps what is going on." Sigourney demanded. But Vien protested "But I don't know what's going on......but oh well."

Camnator heard a beep, followed by a fizzling sound. His jaw dropped as Vien's feet seemed to dissolve like a mirage, revealing inhuman, alien hooves. The stall door opened and Camnator almost fainted. A real-life sanghieli in a pink thong stood there, looking back at him.

(To be continued)

Chapter 5: PAX

The noise and the excitement of the Penny Arcade Expo got to Verbatim. He hated crowds and he hated noise. He was incredibly lonely when all he did was live in his mother's basement and hate the world. Verbatim hoped that by coming to PAX, he would make new friends. But now he wish he had never come at all. People were screaming with excitement jostling into him and bumping into eachother.

Verbatim tried to focus on the different display booths, hoping something might actually catch his interest. There were many banners and signs advertizing the big event scheduled to happen at PAX, including a special celebrity appearance by Sigourney Weaver to promote the new game of the Alien franchise: The End. Another banner advertized a new halo game: Halo xbox one 2.

Verbatim almost lost track of the other two guys and panicked a little bit. But fortunately Vien's height made him easy to spot in the crowd. He ran over to Vien and shouted angrily "DON'T LEAVE ME BEHIND! I have no idea where we are going!" "Forgive me" Vien said, "But it appears Camnator knows where we are supposed to meet up with the bungie.net community." Camnator, although he was no doubt stoned beyond belief, seemed confident that he knew where to go.

They both followed the pothead for a while, and looked at the different booths along the way. Camnator kept laughing hysterically at random moments, he seemed to find the most amusement in the most trivial of things, such as trash cans, the incoherency of government, the benefits of weed, the beauty of weed, the smell of weed, the sexiness of weed, and talked about different recipes you could use weed in. Verbatim was about to tell Camnator to shut up when he suddenly stopped and looked around.

Camnator pointed towards a group of people and said "There they are, look I can see Foman talking to Camcamm," Verbatim looked closer at the group and saw they were wearing namebadges with their bungie.net usernames. Foman was talking to CamCamm about something. As they got closer, Foman suddenly looked up and pointed at the cieling and said "Yo, look at that!". CamCamm looked up at where Foman was pointing.. As she did so, Foman snuck a creepshot of the underside of her chin with his cell phone. "What did you see?" the clueless woman said still looking up at the place where foman pointed. "I don't see anything unusual." "Oh nothing" Foman replied, a perverted grin spread across his face. "I must have been seeing things."

There were others there as well. Recon Number 54 was sitting down at a table, talking to a few of the other forum ninjas, his weight caused the table to tilt a little bit. Spartan Ken was running around and showing off his swag with a disturbing amount of enthusiam. There was Raw Sugar, SecondClass, Elegiac, Loaf, MyNameIsCharlie, etc. Lonepaul was there with his girlfriend, who looked like she was no older than 12, which made Verbatim feel a little bit queazy.

Then he saw Harlow And JayTheNerdKid. Verbatim was hoping that Harlow wouldn't make an appearance, he really hated that stuck up piece of crap. But he noticed something strange about the two. Harlow seemed to be standing there, expressionless. He was talking to True Underdog but his words carried no inflection, his face showed no emotion. Jay on the other hand was flamboyant and loud. Her namebadge read "JayTheNerdKid, queen of sapphire." Her laughter carried in the air like nails on chalkboard. She was pregnant....very pregnant. In fact, Verbatim had never seen anybody so pregnant. It looked like she was going to have twins or triplets, maybe even quadruplets.

As the trio got closer, people greeted Vien and expressed wonder at his tall stature. But Verbatim couldn't take his eyes off Jay. He never liked her, not one bit. But he never felt anything uneasy about her. Something seemed off...other than the fact that anybody would willingly impregnate her. Jay turned to look at Verbatim and smiled at him....AT him. Something in her eyes sent chills down Verbatim's spine. She waved at him and he averted his eyes, he did not want to look at her. Then he saw Camnator and was shocked to find Camnator trembling nervously.

This whole time Camnator had been jovial. High, but Jovial. Now he looked like he was petrified, as if he had seen a ghost. He too was staring at Jay with what appeared to be a look of sheer horror. But then he seemed to gather himself and went over to join Vien. Verbatim wondered what that was all about, but shrugged it off and rejoined the others. After listening to Vien and Camnator chatting with some of the old floodians about PAX and about bungie.net, he felt a pressure in his bladder. He suddenly had to go to the restroom very quickly. "Guys, I'll be right back. I have to piss." Verbatim told the group, then ran off to find the men's room.

After finding the men's room he opened the door and went inside and found it rather empty, which surprised him because PAX was a huge event. He expected more people to be using the restroom. But he didn't give it much thought. He went to the nearest urinal, unzipped his pants, and went about his business. When Verbatim was done, he zipped back up, went over to the sink to wash his hands. He looked in the mirror and saw that his face was sweaty. He wet his hands then splashed the water on his face, scrubbing his cheeks with his palms. He grabbed a paper towel and dried his face. When he opened his eyes, he saw Jay standing right behind him, wearing the same eerie smile she gave him a few minutes ago. 

(to be continued)

Chapter 4: The message

Vien opened the door and watched a look of astonishment and surprise come over Verbatim's face. "Whoa, you're really big" he had said. Vien took a few seconds, but then he joked rather nervously "That's what she said.". It was a gag humans used whenever somebody said something that could be taken sexually. Verbatim uttered a forced laugh then they exchanged pleasantries and switched hotel cards. Verbatim moved into Vien's hotel room and Vien began took the elevator downstairs to Verbatim's room and unpacked.

As he was beginning to put his clothes in the drawers, his phone emitted another moan. He looked at a rather mysterious text message from a number he did not recognize:

"Vien, I hope that this warning does not come too late. We are not alone. The horrors of our origin have made their touch. I have a suspicion that they will manifest at the convention you are attending. If you have any weapons, carry them."  <3 <3 <3

Vien was bewildered at the meaning of the message. He began to wonder if it was some sort of odd prank when he received another text message from Verbatim, who told him that they were supposed to meet up with Camnator. So Vien exited his hotel room and met up with Verbatim once again and they both took a cab to the convention center. After arriving and paying cab fare, Vien hit his head on the roof of the cab, then got out. Verbatim lead Vien to a small square garden with rocks jutting out of it. Apparently that's where they were supposed to meet Camnator and waited. 10 minutes went by without any sign of him.

There was a group of  human children nearby chasing eachother and laughing. Vien smiled, he grew fond of the often quirky and unpredictable behavior of humanity's youth. But Verbatim let out a groan and leaned on a trash can. "What ails you?" Vien asked. Verbatim gave a look at the children running around and said "Them.....they make me sick.". Vien nodded, apparently Verbatim's hatred of humanity's progeny extends to the real life world as well. Vien opened his phone and sent a text to Camnator, explaining the situation. But he got no reply.

One of the children accidentally bumped into Verbatim, bounced back  and fell on his bottom and began to cry. Verbatim's face turned red, his temples throbbed, and it looked like he was about to shout at the young boy. But instead of making any sort of sound that resembled a word, he vomited directly onto the young boy's head. The boy scrambled up and ran off screaming, trailing specks of bile on the ground behind him. Another 10 minutes had passed when Vien received a reply from Camnator:  "Sorry, I got lost. I'll be there soon. My head is foggy, I didn't smoke enough weed last night."

Vien and Verbatim waited for Camnator to show up. The time went by rather slowly, people hustled past, some gave the two strange looks. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, a cab pulled up and a rather odd fellow stepped out of it. His clothes were all adorned with pictures of Marijuana leaves. He carried a rather large green backpack that seemed to be on the point of bursting. Indeed, the zipper couldn't zip all the way and there were what appeared to be a few hoses dangling out of it.

The guy took out what appeared to be rolls of $20s and through it at the driver, then he started walking towards Vien and Verbatim. When he was about 5 feet away, he gazed at Vien with reddened eyes, then he looked at Verbatim,  who was hurling his hatred of children into a trash can.  The newcomer began to giggle hysterically and he tried to speak. "Heyyyyyy guys, what's up dudes? Are you ready for this or what?"

"Are you Camnator?" Vien asked. Camnator blinked for a moment, and then said "Ah yeah, sorry. I forgot to put on my badge." then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a marijuana leaf-shaped piece of paper. On the paper was written Camnator. Verbatim finally stopped puking and said "God, you are a fucking idiot.". Camnator just smiled and said "What's wrong with him?". "An adolescent ran into him earlier." Vien explained. "Is it possible for your speci.....for somebody to be allergic to children?"  "No," Camnator replied, "He's just got stick up his ass.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!" "That made no sense" Verbatim replied, glowering at Camnator.

So then Vien and Verbatim put on their namebadges and headed into the convention center with Camnator, who just pulled a lettuce size ball of weed out of his bag, stuffed it into an ice cream cone and began to eat it like a snack. As they headed inside, it got noisier and busier. It was so noisy that Vien did not hear his phone moaning. If he had looked at his phone, he would have seen a notification from Maluki, warning him that he had left behind the power cell recharging apparatus for his hologram.   

________

From an undisclosed location, a mysterious female voice resonates through the minds of 3 young woman. "He is here, the one who will enable our conquest. You must capture him. And remember, you must be together. Be careful about the actress, she is onto us."

"Yes master, we will do as you command" the 3 women said simultaneously.

______

Chapter 3: Verbatim's nightmare

Verbatim's Journal April 11, 2015 Used diaper in alley this morning. Diarrhea in burst lining. These kids are afraid of me. I have seen their true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of piss and when the drains finally crust over all the children will drown. The accumulated filth of all their feces and tears will foam up about their waists and and all the boys and girls will look up and shout "save us!"... and I'll whisper... "No."[/i]

Verbatim was in the middle of writing his journal when he heard a dreadful sound coming from the next room over. It made the hairs on his neck raise on end. It was laughter, children's laughter. Verbatim hated children, he hated them more than anything in the world. Everything about them drove him crazy, the way they laughed, the way they cried when they got hurt, or when you didn't give them anything they want, the way they shat and pissed their pants, their high pitched voices. They symbolized life and hope for humanity, a hope Verbatim lost long ago.  He slapped his hands over his ears to try to block out the horrible, unbearable sound of youthful mirth.

He closed his eyes and tried to go to his happy place , a place where he was in paradise: a land where the ground was made of the dead rotting of children. But the laughing got louder and shattered his paradise. Verbatim shouted with rage and picked his feathered pencil and threw it against the wall. The pencil bounced off the wall with an unimpressive "tap" and unceremoniously fell to the floor.

Verbatim began to wonder if it was a wise thing to come to Seattle. He hardly ever left his mother's basement, much less venture outside and travel long distances. Yet it was lonely there. The only friends he had were those on bungie.net. That's why he thought it was a good idea to go to the Penny Arcade Expo, this year a huge portion of the bungie.net community would be meeting eachother. He had to get out, he had to experience the world, find one last sign that humanity hadn't completely gone to shit.

Verbatim walked over to the hotel balcony and stepped outside to get some fresh air. He looked around, allowing the vista to distract him from the laughter. He looked down and saw a feral cat tearing apart a rat. In the other alley, a dog was attempting to copulate with a raccoon. His spirit was beginning to lift. But then his eyes caught sight of a playground, where children were having fun on a merry-go-round. It was too much for him to handle, he was too far away to hear them, but just imagining their laughter and screams of mirth was enough to make him sick. Verbatim leaned over the balcony railing and vomited.

His bile fell through the air for a few seconds, and then sprayed a family of 4, a mother, father, and their 6 year old twin girls, who happened to be walking underneath just at that moment.  The mother slipped on the vomit and fell on her backside. The girls screamed and their cries pierced Verbatim's ears like a knife. He retched more of his lunch, over the railing. The father looked up and began to swear at Verbatim, but his mouth opened just as Verbatim's new wave of vomit splattered in it and all over his face. 

The father gagged and sputtered, then he too, vomited onto the ground. Or rather, onto his wife who was still on the ground. Like a chain reaction, the family all began to vomit. They sprayed a couple of people who were walking by and caused them to vomit as well. In less then a few minutes, the entire block was covered in chain vomit. Verbatim, weak from the exertion, desperately pulled himself back inside and collapsed on the bed, and fell asleep. He began to dream, the recurring nightmare he had for the past few days.

He surrounded by hundreds and hundred of attractive women who began to touch him and caress him. They planted kisses on his cheeks, on his chest, and all over his body. As usual, the dream started out good....but then the women went blurry. When they came back into focus, they were pregnant. Suddenly they began to moan and blood began to pour everywhere. Verbatim tried to scream "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" but nothing came out because there was a pacifier in his mouth. Wait....a pacifier? The woman began to grow larger....no, Verbatim was shrinking. His arms and legs became incredible small, his hair began to shrink. His whole body diminished in size until he was the size of a baby.

The woman laid on their backs and began to shriek in agony. They began to give birth on top og Verbatim. Suddenly he was being buried alive under hundreds and hundreds of newborns. But instead of crying, they were laughing, they were hugging him, nibbling on him, their toothless mouthes gummed on his defenseless body. He tried to scream again, but nothing happened. The laughing grew louder and louder, and finally he screamed. He awoke to the neighbor's kid laughing again.

He looked at his watch. He'd slept for an hour. "Vien should have arrived by now." he thought. He couldn't stand this room, he couldn't stand being along after that nightmare. So he texted Vien:

Verbatim: "Let me know when you get to the hotel. Btw, if you haven't settled in already, do you want to switch rooms? There is a family next door with kids. Their laughter makes me want to choke a kitten."

Vien: "I just arrived and sure. There are no human offspring near my room"

Verbatim: "ok thanks and you don't need to act like an elite dude. That's not even funny on bungie.net"

Vien: "Lol...yeah. Sorry. There are no kids here. I'm in room 777."

Verbatim packed up his stuff and left room 666 in a hurry. He headed to the elevator and pressed the button. After a few seconds, the elevator chimed and the doors opened, revealing 6 children and their mother. Verbatim screamed and ran into the stairwell instead, leaving the family rather confused. He traveled up the steps and came out on the next floor. He began to head towards room 777 when he began to wonder what Vien was like in real life. Did he really act like an elite all the time? He certainly hoped not, that would be way too weird. Verbatim hoped it was just some weird act Vien put on in the forums.

Finally he reached room 777 and knocked on the door, waiting nervously. The door opened and an 8 foot giant stepped out. His head and neck were slightly deformed, which caused his head to tilt to one side. His mouth jutted out slightly.  Verbatim was rather startled, he did not expect Vien to be ....well, giant. "Whoa......" he said, "You're really big!" Vien stood there for a moment, then said rather nervously, "That's...what she said." 
(to be continued)

Chapter 2: Vien's great Journey begins

7 hours earlier....in an unnamed location.....a sleeping sanghieli gets a rude awakening.
The morning started off with a loud obnoxious beeping, followed quickly by a crunch. Vien Quitonm had recently tried using the devices humans invented to awake themselves from slumber, an alarm clock. He discovered very quickly that he and alarm clocks did not have a very compatible relationship. Indeed, Vien had just smashed the 7th alarm clock this week. Once he realized what he did, Vien grumbled quietly and pushed the wrecked alarm clock off the bedside desk and into the trash can to join the rest of it's deceased brethren.

Fuming, Vien laid his head back into the pillow. It was then that he became aware of the arms that were wrapped around his chest. Maluki the dragon was clinging to him, still asleep, ears twitching. Wondering how his dragon could sleep through that racket, Vien stroked Maluki's soft mane. But then he remembered that he had to get up and get ready to pack up and start driving. Today was the day that he was going to attend one of these human conventions, to meet the other members of the bungie.net community.

It was rather ironic that everybody thought he was a human, who role-played as a sanghieli. But in fact, he was a sanghieli, role playing as a human who role played as a sanghieli. They had no idea that the halo series bungie created, was actually based on the experiences he went through. He remembered too vividly when he arrived on Earth. Or to be more accurate, arrived in this universe, this timeline. Vien remembered that a forerunner artifact caused some sort of inter-dimensional warp, that it somehow it sent him to this universe, where the covenant either didn't exist, or they simple haven't met humanity yet. Since his discovery by the government, he influenced technology and various media just like Paul the alien did in the movie "Paul". But he escaped and now the government doesn't know he exists anymore, because of another incident with an artifact that he'd brought with him.

Vien delicately tried to unwrap Maluki's arms from around his chest without waking him. But Maluki only held tighter, a grin forming across his snout. "Were you going to leave without saying goodbye?" he said, opening his vibrant pink eyes and grinning at Vien. "I would never leave you without saying goodbye. I just didn't want to wake you so early." Vien stroked his mane again and said "I would never leave without saying goodbye. I just wanted you to sleep in some more." Vien  got up with the dragon still clinging to him. "You know, you can be quite clingy in the morning. I cannot prepare myself if you keep hugging me like that." Vien said. Maluki smirked back at him in the reflection of the mirror on the wall and retorted "And you can be a pain in the ass sometimes at night." 

But Maluki let go of the now-blushing sangheili and dropped to the floor. Vien gazed in the mirror at the reflection of himself, standing there wearing a pink thong. Then he shook himself awake. Vien strolled over to the closet and opened it, revealing several sets of latex suits, whips, and a suit of armor. But what he retrieved was a cardboard box. He opened it and took out a set of rather large human clothes, and a belt with a round green button on it.

      Vien packed his bags, ate 10 fish for breakfast, then got prepared to leave. But then he felt Maluki's hand on his shoulder and turned around. Immediately the dragon pressed his snout into Vien's mandibles and kissed his mouth. Vien scooped the dragon in his arms and clacked his mandibles against Maluki's cheeks affectionately. His hands rubbed up and down the dragon's back, until he touched a place that drew a moan from the cute creature.

Vien decided he didn't have to leave just yet, he had time. So he took Maluki to the bedroom and set him on the bed. He rolled the dragon onto his belly and came up behind him. The next few minutes were filled with Maluki's moans, and pleads for Vien to push harder. "Oh...yes....right there, push the knot.....OHHHH!!!!" Maluki said.
"You are so tight this morning, love." Vien said, as he pushed into Maluki. Yes, morning back massages are one of Vien's favorite ways to start out the day. His dragon got so many knots in his back, probably from the way he kept sleeping on his wings. Vien pushed his fingers into a particarly stubborn knot, until it gave way, causing the dragon to emit a sigh of relief, after which he began to purr. Vien smiled, it wasn't until he met Maluki that he thought only cats purred. After kissing Maluki again and telling him to keep the house together, he pressed the button on his belt. Static started emanating from the button he had pressed. Vien's image began to distort. Starting from the feet up, his image was being replaced by a holographic representation of a rather deformed human with something they called gigantism. The image traveled up his body, revealing more of the human form, until finally his face was covered. Gigantism was a rather convenient explanation for his height and his unusual gait. Nobody ever suspected that he was actually an alien.  He headed out.

   Vien never liked driving cars, but he had no choice. He couldn't fly because the airport security would surely detect his equipment. So he was forced to use the crude human means of commuting. Indeed, he could barely fit inside of cars, even with his disguise. So he purchased a motorcycle, which he secretly enhanced with a bit of covenant technology. He through his bags in the storage compartment, started his motorcycle, clumsily input his destination on the GPS locator and went on his way.

Vien didn't have a driver's license, but he knew how to drive from watching humans. The blinking lights on the cars meant they are about to change lanes or turn in that direction. The red lights mean they are applying the breaks. The traffic lights have 3 colors: red means stop, green means go, and yellow means speed up. He never got pulled over, but he learned that it is a good idea to always have a stash of donuts, a human confectionery nearby just in case. He drived and drived for hours, wondering how he was going to react, seeing so many people, wondering how they were going to react, seeing his stature. Well, the stature of his hologram anyway.

Vien arrived in Seattle 5 hours later, found a hotel and rented a room. It felt rather empty. He wished Maluki had come with him, but the dragon is dreadfully shy in his human form and the holograph belts don't work as well on him. Often, his tail would poke through the hologram, creating the illusion that he was defecating a tail. Suddenly, Vien's phone emitted a loud moan, causing him to flinch. Maluki must have changed his text ringtone to a custom voice recording again. The dragon pulled these kinds of pranks all the time, in hopes of embarassing Vien in a public setting, which often happened.

Vien checked his messages, he received a text from Verbatim: "Let me know when you get to the hotel. Btw, if you haven't settled in already, do you want to switch rooms? There is a family next door with kids. Their laughter makes me want to choke a kitten."

Vien replied: "I just arrived and sure. There are no human offspring near my room"

Verbatim: "ok thanks and you don't need to act like an elite dude. That's not even funny on bnet"

Vien: "Lol...yeah. Sorry. There are no kids here. I'm in room 777."

Vien waited for a few minutes, wondering what kind of human verbatim is in real life. He wondered if verbatim is as angry in person as he often is on bungie.net. Then there was a loud knock on the door....

(to be continued)

It drives me crazy when I post a topic then spot a glaring typo I missed. I would love to have the ability to edit our posts soon.

Jesus, this post is more obvious than even my attempts at trolling.

It worked for me once.

Originality level: 0

C'mon.

At least your comment is self-aware.

I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right forum, but considering there are only 3 topics, this one seemed to be the most appropriate place to post this in. I have disabled my ad-blocker because you asked nicely. With that being said, I feel it would be more efficient to implement a ban fee. I don't know the first thing about coding, but I'm sure somebody competent enough could create a system that forces you to link a credit card to your account. Every time a ban is issued, a $10 fee is charged to the account. This money will go towards funding the website. Thoughts?

Contrary to popular belief, I am not maluki. I do have an explodingpiglets account, but there are a few others who are impersonating me.

Quote from: o______________o on July 30, 2014, 07:35:51 PM

Quote from: Le Dustin on July 30, 2014, 07:30:59 PM

Quote from: o______________o on July 30, 2014, 07:29:20 PM

Quote from: Le Dustin on July 30, 2014, 07:19:29 PM

Quote from: o______________o on July 30, 2014, 07:18:07 PM

Quote from: Avatar Korra on July 27, 2014, 10:24:43 PM

You must be the infamous long face.

I didn't know I was infamous.

That depends on which alt you're using.

I only have a few.

Everyone on the offsite forum already knows. You have little to hide here.

I have little to hide on bnet as well. The moderators know my alts are o_______________o, wtf mfw o____o, o_____o, O_o_O_o_O,  and n__________n.

That's only 5 out of 1800. I mean, we've had threads about you where we've talked about your various accounts. The beans are already spilled.

Oh, those accounts are long dead. I cannot even log into them anymore.

Quote from: o______________o on July 30, 2014, 07:29:20 PM

Quote from: Le Dustin on July 30, 2014, 07:19:29 PM

Quote from: o______________o on July 30, 2014, 07:18:07 PM

Quote from: Avatar Korra on July 27, 2014, 10:24:43 PM

You must be the infamous long face.

I didn't know I was infamous.

That depends on which alt you're using.

I only have a few.

Everyone on the offsite forum already knows. You have little to hide here.

I have little to hide on bnet as well. The moderators know my alts are o_______________o, wtf mfw o____o, o_____o, O_o_O_o_O,  and n__________n.

You must be the infamous long face.

I didn't know I was infamous.