Yes.

Good. But can you move my threads back into The Flood first?

Leave it, just in case.

Nobody is around to help me. I feel miserable and unable to do anything other than use a computer. Even my dog seems to know I am ill, she is keeping her distance. It's very depressing. I need support.

First name IRL: Mohinder
Gender: M
Age: 22
Weeaboo (yes/no):  No
Religion: Catholicism.
Sexual preference: Bi
Socially awkward (yes/no): at times
Virgin (yes/no): no
Current country you live in: U.S.
Country born in: U.S.
Ethnicity: Indian. (not native american.)
Furry (yes/no): yes and no.

I will then

fine.

I try to create good topics and share my ideas in #destiny.I put a lot of work into elaborating my visions of what would make Destiny really cool, in hopes of starting a dialogue with the other posters. Yet somehow, every single one of my ideas have been lambasted and attacked. And now I am supposedly the greatest troll on #destiny. It is infuriating because nobody takes me seriously. I mean come on.....look at all these topics I've posted:

Fee for kids under 17
Exotic weapon: True Death
Waypoints in PvP to prevent camping.
Interrogation in Destiny
Product Placement
Bring Armor lock to Destiny.
Destiny should have lock-on targeting.
Should destiny have a daily time limit?
Users should be required to use their real names.
Players should be penalized for bad language.
Idlers and quitters should be fined.
Weapon redistribution to make things fair.
Should bungie get rid of respawning?
Traveler's Boon
Exotic weapons should be available as microtransactions.
Destiny is a rip-off of Call Of Duty, Halo, etc
Raids should be a subscription service
Should timed exclusivity be retracted?
We should have the option to purchase raid awards.
Instant Super activation using microtransactions?
Ammo pickups should be more realistic
Thread replies should be turned into glimmer.

I know I have more topics out there, but I lost them when the site updated again. But this goes to show how immature and paranoid the Destiny forum is. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

EDIT: BTW, feel free to go and show your support in these threads. If they are kept on the front page, Bungie may see how much traction they are gaining. Perhaps they'll take some of my advice.

No

I wouldn't want to do that to soporific. ^______________^

Chapter 13 - Vien Remembers

Vien felt like he was descending into a world of fog. At first he couldn't see anything, but then images and shapes floated past him, as if they were bubbles which contained hidden memories. He was looking for something but he didn't know what he was looking for. Why was he here? Where is this place? Vien vaguely remembered a large plant and he remembered inhaling a foul smoke. Memory....he was searching for memory...he didn't know why, but he knew he had to find it.

Suddenly, out of the fog came a blue gleaming light. Vien walked towards the light and saw the forerunner artifact. The same one that he had taken with him into this world, the same one that had helped him escape from the human government. He reached out towards the artifact but stopped when he began to hear screams. No...he began to remember screams, screams of somebody he once loved. Something told him he did not want to remember. "YOU MUST FACE YOUR PAST" a booming voice spoke inside his head, "IF YOU WANT TO SAVE THE FUTURE." Vien reached for the artifact again and touched it. The blue gleaming brightened until it burned away the fog.

The world became a blinding blue light that overwhelmed his vision. But as quickly as it came, it went, dematerializing until Vien felt solid ground beneath his feet. He recognized this place, it was sanghielios. His hearts jumped for joy when he saw a sanghieli youth running towards him with a practice sword. How could he forget about this child, his son, Valuken? Overwhelmed with joy, he ran towards his son to pick him up...but his son ran through him as if he didn't exist. Vien spun around and came face to face with himself, play fighting with his son, training him in the ways of the sword. He longed to hear his son's laughter again.

A chime rang through his head and the blue light took over the world. "NOOO!" Vien shouted, running towards the spot where his son was and reached out. But he touched nothing. The blue light dematerialized and he gasped. If he had not seen the remains of his residence, he would not have known this was sanghielios. The world had changed, the rocky plateau had turned into squirming gummy worms. Flying fried chicken rained destruction upon the world in the form of missile crumbs. Vien saw himself run out of the house with his son in his arms "HOLD ONTO ME!" he heard himself shout, "YOUR MOTHER IS WAITING FOR US!" He followed behind himself and watched as his past self dodged swarms of horny grunts, exploded the inflated heads of 6 breasted brutes with his plasma rifle, and jumped over huge mouths that opened up in the ground. He was headed for a gravity lift coming from a large battleship.

Vien's past self and his son entered the gravity lift and began to float upwards towards the ship. Flying horrors came at them, fried chicken, watermelon spawn, trash talking rocks with wings. But Vien shot through all of them with stunning accuracy. But just before he reached the top, a black disk materialized right over his son. Vien and his past self shouted with horror as tentacles reached out of the void and snatched his screaming son and pulled him out of existance. The black disk vanished. The blue light blinded the world again. This was too terrible. He had a son...and he let him be taken by the bane. Valuken was just inches away but Vien couldn't protect him. He was a failure.

The blue light dematerialized. Vien was with Jane....no...Kiala, his wife, trying to escape from the Bane's attack on Earth. The fabric of reality of crashing around them, but he had to get Kiala out of here....he did not want to lose her, he would have nothing left to live for. He watched as an observer, seeing himself fight off a Chicken wing as Kiala boarded the ship. Blue orbs were materializing all around him, sucking everything in into their depths that wasn't the bane. He had defeated the monster and almost made it to the ship, his hands extended to Kiala, when a monstrous blue orb appeared behind him. It was larger than even the ship Kiala stood in. Vien watched as the orb sucked his past self into it. He was tumbling through a dark void where there was no sound, no sight, no sound. He was the only thing that existed in that world. But the the dark void suddenly burned away, revealing a bright desert below him. He was falling...falling...until he crashed against a strange flying machine, causing it to spiral out of control and crash into the desert.

The blue light took over the world again. When it dematerialized, Vien saw himself sitting in a room, much skinnier, food deprived. He had spent years being interrogated by the government, freely giving out all he knew about where he came from, everything he knew about how his technology worked. Now he had nothing else to give. His son was dead, Kiala was gone, and his universe was probably destroyed by now. Vien remembered how he had felt sitting there, staring at nothing. He wanted to get out and see the world that still lived, but they never let him. He was their prisoner, being kept in that room, forced to live with his memories, memories that would haunt him throughout the day and throughout the night.

That very night when he had fallen asleep, he reached out...to something. He wanted nothing more than to forget....forget....forget. A chime resounded and began to reverberate through the cell...it got louder and louder. The wall  began to glow ,awakening Vien from his slumber. He got up and looked at it. The artifact began to phase through the wall, emanating an etheral blue light. He reached out and touched it. A blue but silent shockwave rippled throughout the entire facility, wiping all computers of anything related to Vien. A second shockwave disabled the security locks on Vien's cell. The door opened and he was free to go. Vien made his escape and fought past all the confused guards. He found his stash of weapons and took them with him. Vien stole one of the human vehicles and exited the facility. Just then, another wave rippled through the station and wiped out all biological memory of Vien and anything related to him from the humans. When it struck him, he had forgotten about his son, he had forgotten about the fate of the universe. He wondered for years and years, wearing his holosuit disguise, as something told him he should remain hidden.

Vien had been tracked down by Kiala who was in disguise, who told him to call her Jane. She tried to get into a relationship with him, but he was never interested, much to her anger. Eventually, he encountered Maluki and they both fell in love. Maluki's origins were always a mystery, but he had made Vien happier than he had every been. But now, Vien knew the truth of the fate of his universe, he remembered his loss. But now, Kiala was with him, she was alive and he loved her, the mother of his offspring. Still....the memory of his son tore him apart. A fog overtook his vision.

"Ahhh, I see." the deep booming voice rang through his head, but it was softer now. "YOU HAVE SUFFERED A TERRIBLE TERRIBLE LOSS. YOUR LOVE FOR YOUR SEEDLING IS TANGIBLE, THE MEMORY OF HIS AURA STILL LINGERS AROUND YOURS! HE SHALL ALWAYS BE BONDED WITH YOU, EVEN IN DEATH. BUT WAIT.....I AM DETECTING AN IDENTICLE AURA....IN THIS WORLD. YOUR SON....YES, HE IS ALIVE!" Vien's hearts jumped for joy. He immediately called out "WHERE?! WHERE IS VALUKEN!?" "HE IS ON THIS EARTH AND HE IS LOOKING FOR YOU. HE HAS KNOW IDEA WHO YOU ARE, BUT HE LOVES YOU. YOU WILL SEE HIM SOON...BUT BE WARNED, YOU HAVE MET HIM BEFORE...BUT YOU DID NOT RECOGNIZE HIM, NOR HE YOU. HE HAS BEEN CHANGED BY THE BANE! HE NO LONGER SHARES YOUR IMAGE. I SHALL SHOW YOU HIM, BUT BE WARNED, YOU MAY FEEL MORE DESPAIR AFTER SEEING THE TRUTH OF YOUR SON'S FATE!" 

Vien said "I do not care...I want to see my son. Show me him, it's been too long." "AS YOU WISH...." the high mind said. The fog cleared, it revealed a world of porches and destruction. A figure was flying through the air, tentacles burst up from the ground and tried to snatch it. But the flying figure did a few barrel rolls and shot pink light out of his tail tip, slicing right through the tentacles with ease. Vien gasped and sank to his knees in shame. He recognized that slender blue body, that flamboyant green mane, those large majestic wings. It was none other than his husband, Maluki.

(to be continued)

what is this shit?

I want the power to help others. That's what motivates me to be a better person.

Carla had been working at McDonald's for a week and she was doing a very good job taking orders at the drive-thru. She always put the needs of the customer first before her own. Little did she know that her day would start off with the worst customer in the world. As the car pulled up to the microphone, Deej began to place his order, along with a side of frustration.

Carla: Welcome to McDonald's. What would you like today?

Deej: I would like some stuff.

Carla: Excuse me?

Deej: I would like some stuff.

Carla: I'm sorry, I don't understand what you are saying. Could you speak a little bit more clearly?

Deej: Yes, sorry. I would like the item I am pointing to.

Carla: um.....sir, I can't see what you are pointing at. Did you need help reading the menu?

Deej: Do unicorns like lollipops?

Carla: .... ......... You said you wanted a pop?

Deej: That is not what I said. I asked if unicorns like lollipops.

Carla: uh....I'm not sure I'm following what you are saying. Is this some sort of joke? Like is this one of those pranks that people put on youtube?

Deej: This is not a prank. I just want to order breakfast. jib-jub BAPPITY FLAP!

Carla: Ok. Well go ahead and order something on the menu. We are having a sausage mcmuffin special today. Would you be interested in that? It comes with a side of hash browns and a medium orange juice.

Deej: Nobody ever knows for sure about what they really want. Sometimes the winds of time take us to strange and wondrous places young one. Our interests vary from day to day. Life is a mysterious thing.

Carla: Is that a yes or a no?

At this point, Carla doesn't hear Deej's response because just then the car behind him honked impatiently.

Carla: I didn't catch that. Could you repeat that?

Deej: (silence)

More car horns begin to honk as Carla waits for Deej's order. But it never comes. Meanwhile people can be heard swearing "DUDE, HURRY THE -blam!- UP OR GET THE -blam!- OUT OF OUR WAY!" followed by more angry beeping. Eventually the manager asks Carla to see what is going on. So she goes outside and finds Deej still parked at the drive-thru menu, with his window rolled up. Confused, Carla walks over and gently raps on his window.

Carla: Excuse me sir?

Deej: (muffled speech)

Carla: (yelling) Sir, I can't hear you. Could you roll your window down?

Deej writes something down on a piece of paper and holds it up to the window. It reads "They are being rude, so I muted them."

Carla: um......WELL, IF YOU AREN'T GOING TO ORDER SOMETHING, THEN I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU TO MOVE! YOU ARE BLOCKING THE OTHER CUSTOMERS!

Deej rolls down his window.

Deej: You know what I want.

Carla: No....I have no idea what you want. I haven't understood a thing you said today. Now would you please tell me what you want to order?

Deej: I would love one of your delicious flippity goos.

Carla: What?!

Deej: I'm being clever.

Carla: Um........what?

At this point the manager comes out to see why the line hasn't moved. Carla explains to him that she cannot get a coherent answer out of Deej. The manager begins to tell Deej that he needs to order something or else move so that he doesn't hold up the other customers. But as he is talking, Deej rolls his window back up and plugs his ears. The manager sighs and pulls out his cell phone and dials the police. Suddenly Deej slams the pedal to the floor and screeches out of the drive thru, hitting both the manager and Carla on the back, breaking both of their hips and leaving them extremely butthurt.

I can't show you my best troll because yoozel deleted it. But I posted a thread in the halo reach forum where I posed as a player who had achromatopsia (aka true colorblindedness) and that I could only see in black and white and shades of gray. I said blue and red looked the same to me, so I often ended up betraying my teammates because I thought they were on the other team. I asked bungie to consider having a playlist for colorblind gamers that had a black team and a white team and call it BLACKS vs WHITES. I made it sound very convincing while subtly implying racial stereotypes. ("If I were on the white team and I saw a black guy stealing my vehicle, I would shoot him down.")

It caused a shit storm that lasted for 17 pages. People who fell for it showed their sympathies and people who saw I was trolling called me a racist. Then the people who felt sorry for me started attacking those who called me a troll. It was absolute chaos. This was in the days where the reach forum was so active, that threads would get pushed down within 5 minutes. But this stayed on the front page for a considerable time. If it got near the bottom, I would change the title to something attention grabbing "I LOVE SUCKING ON ELITE COCKS!" or "EXPLODING MUSLIMS ATTACK REACH!" for about a minute, then change it back.

In terms of replies, it isn't my most successful bait. The "Fee for anybody under 17" thread was far more successful, but it is still my favorite trollbait because of how clever the premise was. *pats self on back*

Chapter 11: The bane

The party followed Jane through her ship as she talked. Verbatim was constantly looking around with fear and disbelief in his eyes. Camnator was fixated on Jane's torso for some reason Vien could not guess. Vien recognized the interior of the ship with a pang of longing, he remembered being here many times. Jane would often "interrogate" him inside these walls, something she was VERY good at.

"The Bane" Jane continued, "is the manifestation of chaos. A phenomenom that spreads disorder like a disease. As it spreads, the very laws of the universe around it cease to exist. Mass can be created from nothing, time can be stopped, energy can be destroyed. Everything you know about the physical world dies around the bane."

She stopped at a holographic projector and began to type out commands as she spoke. "We knew very little about how the bane works, neither did the forerunners. What we did know, was that the bane first needed a cultural template to begin it's invasion." A holographic menu bloomed over the projector and Jane began to scroll through it until she picked a video to play. "This was the first recorded instance of the bane. We unlocked a secured room on the first halo ring. What you will see is one of the Bane's "Spawn" latch onto one of the grunts, where it will then assimilate it's culture."

Jane played the video and it showed a squad of grunts and its sanghieli leader enter a room not unlike the one that held the flood, only there were masterious dish-shaped disks aimed at the center, where there was a floating orb of light. One of the grunts got excited by the light and moved closer, ignoring it's leader's instructions to stay put. Suddenly the orb of light flew at the grunt and entered it's body. What happened next made the entire group watching the video gasp. The grunt's eyes turned a bright purple and it walked up to the sangheili that was yelling at it and started to hump his leg. At the same time, the eyes of the grunts around the group also turned purple, and they began to furiously mate with eachother. The sanghieli tried to stop the grunts, he threw the one off his leg and barked an order, but to no avail.

Suddenly the door opened and more purple-eyed grunts swarmed in and began to overwhelm the elite. They stripped off his armor and began to rape him to death. After that, they began to have a massive orgy. Some grunts immediately began to give birth to new offspring, a feat that should have been impossible. The newly spawned grunts already had armor and they began to grow to adult size within minutes."The unggoy culture has always been known for their rapid ability to repopulate. The bane used this as a template for it's manifestation." Jane said.

She selected another video and went on. "But the manifestation did not only infect grunts, it infected elites, the kigyar, our engineers, the brutes and even the hunters. The hunters would immediately stop fighting and start rolling on the ground in ecstacy as all the worms in their bodies started.....mating with eachother. But it did not stop with organics. The bane also corrupted our machines. This video was taken from one of our external sensors." Jane started the video. It depicted a majestic covenant fleet of battlecruisers hovering in formation. But suddenly an explosion bloomed like a flower on one of the ships, and purple tentacles that looked like they were made of the same material as the ship shot from the explosion and wrapped themselves around one of the other ships. The corrupted cruiser began to thrust with its plasma cannon into the other chip. More explosions took place and the other ship began to break in half.

Orbs began to come out of both ships. They were identical to the one that infected the grunt, but much larger in size. Soon the entire fleet became a macabre cluster of ships having orgies. Vien was appalled, it made no sense. He did not remember anything like this, what was Jane up to? This must be some sort of trick he thought. But he never knew Jane to lie. "Our fleet was destroyed" she continued, "But we were not the only culture the bane infected. When a human group led by Seargeant Johnson encountered the bane, they were over-run by anthropomorphic watermelons and fried chicken."

"The forerunners recognized that the bane needed a culture to thrive. So they constructed the rings to wipe out all cultures that existed, in hopes that the bane would 'starve'. They did this by exterminating all sentient life with one massive wave of energy. Then they sent out another wave that wiped out all memory, both digital and biological. Any organisms that may have survived the rings' first blast were wiped clean of any culture, just to ensure the bane's destruction." Jane said.

"In our universe, we did not win against the bane, there were no happy endings like the one your bungie studios created. Humans, the covenant, all that remained of us banded together to fight the bane, but we were overwhelmed." She continued with a solemn tone to her voice. She selected another video "This is the last thing I recorded  before I found myself waking in your world. Vien and I were part of the group that uncovered the forerunner artifact in Africa. Unlike the events depicted in your video games, we never figured out how to activate it. It activated itself when the bane attacked earth."

The video played and the sounds of battle screamed out of the projection. The camera was from Jane's visor, but it was shaky. Vien saw himself help Jane off the ground. He shouted something to Jane, and she looked up. The sky was filled with tentacles, destruction rained down upon the earth in the form of giant disembodied breasts and soda products. Giant eyeballs began to open in the sky and the ground under Jane began to turn into chocolate. Suddenly blue orbs identical to the portal depicted in halo 3, but smaller in size began to materialize in the air around them. Elites and humans got sucked into them. Vien noticed he was holding something in his other arm, the artifact identical to the one he had when he was captured by the government.

They raced for a large covenant ship that was still intact when a giant snarling chicken wing stepped in front of their path. Vien shouted "GO KIALA! I WILL HOLD HIM OFF!" a sword flashed to life and Vien fought the absurd monstrosity. Jane rushed for the ship, dodging the mysterious blue orbs that seemed to materialize all around her. Jane pressed a button on her wrist and the door the the ship opened. She stepped inside and turned around and saw Vien running towards her, the dead steaming body of the chicken wing on the ground behind him, bleeding barbecue sauce. Just before Vien reached the ship, a huge blue orb materialized behind him, sucking him into it. Jane screamed and dove after Vien. The video cut off just as she entered its event horizon.

"We could not fight the bane. None of our weapons did any permenant damage. The best we could do was develop a device that froze them in place temporarily, but they always broke through the mute. I awoke sometime later in a cold bitter place. Vien was nowhere in sight. My ship had been sucked into one of those portals, the same one that took Vien. I later learned that I had arrived in the land you call Antartica and Vien had appeared above area 51. Area 51. I only found out he had made it after he escaped from that place, but he wasn't the same. I had assumed his weakened spirit and odd behavior was because he was defeated. But it appears he does not remember anything. The bane destroyed our universe, and now it is here to destroy yours." Jane finished.

The group was silent. Vien contemplated everything he had just heard. It made no sense he did not remember any of it...except for the part where he awoke above area 51. He remembered materializing and falling, and landing on a strange flying machine called a helicopter. He remembered being interrogated about what he was, where he came from. He had tried to explain the events that had occured. For years, he had provided the government with details of his culture, had helped them develop various technologies. Then he used the artifact to escape. But then another fog came over Vien's mind. He couldn't remember how he escaped, only that the artifact somehow aided him. Suddenly the entire ship rumbled. An earthquake shook the ground underneath the group and there was a crash from outside. Jane immediately activated all the external sensors and displayed them on the hologram. Outside was a large cave, fitted with a bunch of machines and covenant computers. In the wall of a cave, there had opened a large hole, as if something had burst through it. "By the prophets," Vien uttered, "What has happened?"  "I don't know," said Camnator, who was suddenly smiling. "But somehow, I know it's friendly. It's....calling us."

(to be continued.)
 

Chapter 10: Porch Lord

Camnator knew he should be pissed, but he wasn't. As long as he hid the other bongs in his bookbag from Jane, he would be fine. The superweed he had smoked brought an amazing sense of happiness, space, and clarity. He followed Jane outside and couldn't help but notice a spot in the back of her armor that wasn't plated, perhaps to allow for more flexibility. Whatever the reason, Camnator could not take his eyes off that robust alien booty. It was one of the most gorgeous things he'd ever seen. It if weren't for her split lips and the fact that she destroyed his toy, he would totally try to pick her up. That's how confident he was. Plus she snapped Jay's neck. That really turned him on.

The odd party stepped outside the door. Jane picked up the door frame and told vien to hold it in place. She used her plasma pistol to weld its seams shut, making sure nobody could get in. It was then that Camnator noticed all the porches. The walls of the convention center were no longer there. Instead there were big gaping holes which opened the view to the rest of seattle. Scattered along the blocks were hundreds and hundreds of porches of different sizes. Even the buildings across the street had morphed into gigantic porches. Helicopters flew through the air, only to have their propellers turn into porches and tear their chasis in half. 

But Camnator's attention was immediately drawn to a.....confusing aura. It was coming from a man standing in the middle of what used to be part of the convention center. His nametag said Porch Lord. But the aura was coming from something that was clinging to that man's back. Camnator used his weed-powered eyesight to focus closer. It looked like a grotesque deformed baby, clinging to Porch Lord's back. It turned it's head towards Camnator and he jumped. It didn't have any eyes.....but it's gaze immediately filled him with dread. It seemed to pierce into his soul. For a moment, he couldn't breath. But then the baby let go and scittered away with inhuman speed and disappeared amongst the rubble. Somebody ran across the open chasm, tripping over porch planks. Camnator read his nametag, it said "Darth Ban 7365".

Immediately Porch Lord's arms began to convulse and his body twitched erraticaly. "THERE IS A DARTH BAN ON MY PORCH! WHAT SHALL I DO?!?" he shouted maniacally. He raised his arm and pointed at Darth Ban, who immediately doubled over and began to scream, clutching his stomach in agony. Then a porch burst out of his bowels, tearing him in half in bloody mist. Porch lord turned and pointed his finger at somebody Camnator couldn't see. "no....NO!!!! DON'T DO IT..." a voice screamed. " TEHALOS IS ON MY PORCH! WHAT SHALL I DO?!?" Porch lord shouted. Camnator heard choking, followed by a brutal ripping sound. Somebody's severed head flew through the air.

It was horrible....horrible beyond belief. But superweed allowed Camnator to remain calm. Jane on the other hand, grabbed him and pulled him by his scruff. "DO not allow him to see you unless you want to suffer the same fate." She said. But then Porch Lord's head exploded and he fell over as if he had been sniped. Camnator felt another deadly aura somewhere above them. "Get sniped.....bitch...." a voice said. "Wow, somebody took care of that freak!" Verbatim commented. "No..." Camnator replied..."He's one of them.." but he wasn't even sure what he was talking about. But somehow he knew that the deadly auras he sensed were connected.

Porch Lord's head began to regenerate and he began to stand up again. "no...fucking way.." Verbatim murmered. Jane spoke with urgency. "Come, we have to move." she lead the group down the hallway away from the commotion just as Porch lord shouted "I SEE YOU DAS BOOT!!!! BOW TO THE PORCH LORD!!" followed by a loud crash. Jane turned on her communicator again and asked "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!?" to which John Cena replied "JOHN CENA!!! CENA!" "Well, hurry!!" she said. Suddenly Recon stepped out in front of the group, tears running down his face.

"I....I tried to s-save them....b-but...OH IT WAS HORRIBLE!!!" he wailed. "I only saved one of them......b-but..." then he took a cheese covered baked potato out of his pocket and held it in front of him.  "LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM!!!" Camnator thought recon had lost it, his mind. But then the potato talked, its halves flapping like a mouth. "I don't know what you are crying about Recon. Nothing is wrong with me. My hands and arms are just a bit numb, that's all. Now let me go, we need to get out of here!" Recon only wailed even harder. "OHHHHHHHHHH IT'S SO TRAGIC!!!!!!! HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM.....and I'm so hungry....I've been trying to resist........" "Wait Recon..what are you doing?" the potato said as recon began to lick it "what are you doing recon....stahp....let me go. This feels funny...ohhh....recon...this is wrong.." Recon continued to lick out the potatoe
s cheese, but then raised the cheesy potato up to his mouth and opened it. "NOOOO RECON STOP!!!!" Recon bit into it, drawing a shriek from the animated food.

Camnator thought it was a very macabre sight, watching an old man crying as he ate a potato that screamed and begged for it's life. After swallowing the last bit of potato, Recon broke down on the ground sobbing. "We don't have time for this" Jane said, and she lead the group on towards an unknown destination. Suddenly Camnator felt more piercing cold auras. Dozens of corrupted stepped out and looked at them. They were all bungie.net members who wore their nametags. Baconshelf walked towards them and laid his hand against the wall. Shelves made of bacon began spread from the point his hand made contact with. Grandmasterninja blinked...and vanished into thin air. Camnator couldn't even sense his aura. Citadel Space closed his eyes, his arms began to turn into tentacles and his body became transparent. He morphed into a Hanar and said "This one feels the need to feel you."

"THIS WAY! RUN!" Jane said as she flashed her sword to life and sliced off the hanar's appendages. The group ran down another hall while being chased by the other corrupted. They turned a corner and found that their path was blocked by a massage whale just sitting in the hallway. A namebadge pinned to it's nose said "ADerpyWhale". It opened it's mouth and made a loud "OOOOOOOMMMMMM" and tried to wriggle towards the party, shaking the foundations of the passage. "By the prophets! We are trapped!" Vien said. Camnator felt the floor begin to tremor. It felt like something big was getting closer and closer. He heard somebody shout "JOOOOOOHHHHN CENA!!!!" then the wall exploded.

Camnator couldn't quite work out what he was seeing. Something had burst through the wall, a huge mass of muscle plowed through the corrupted, smashing them like flies, leaving puddles of gore in its wake. The creature's legs were human, but they were huge. Instead of a waist, another set of legs appeared where the waist should have been. In between the second set of legs was very long appendage that almost looked like an elephant trunk, except it was the color of human flesh and it had a large mouth with teeth at the end. The creature didn't have any eyes or a head.......in fact, it looked kind of like a subliminal you'd find in a silent hill game...if the main character had been traumatized by meatspin.

The mouth shouted "JOHN CENAAAA!!!!" and the creature continued to smash down the hallway. Camnator heard in the distance "JOHN CENA IS ON MY POR..." but it was cut off. Jane instructed her orb to mute the fallen corrupted before they could regenerate. A few minutes later, John Cena came back, carrying a torsoless Porch Lord in his mouth and dropped it in front of the orb so that it could do it's job.

"Thank you Viktor" Jane said. "Now we must get to my ship so that we can talk about..." But John Cena smashed open another part of the wall, revealing a large purple spaceship. "CEENNAAA!!!!" it shouted. "I don't know how you brought that here, but you are an amazing warrior...if not unique. But let's go. We have a lot to discuss and I'd rather not have any more interruptions." So the party entered into the ship. Camnator couldn't help but giggle like a little girl, this was awesome. Horrific, but awesome.

Jane pressed a button on her wrist. Camnator felt a wave of energy pass over him. The space around him seemed to cramp.....everything seemed to compress all around him....he felt like he was going to be crushed, but as soon as it started it was over.The pressure was relieved and everything was back to normal. It was as if it never happened. "We are no longer in Seattle" Jane said. "We are hundreds of feet under the premises of my avatar, Sigourney Weaver. Here we can talk without being overheard." Jane removed her armor, revealing a flexible suit that revealed her contours. Camnator gasped audibly, that alien booty was even more majestic than he had thought.

"Jane," Vien said, "What is going on? What happened to those humans back there? I watched a human documentary called X-men about humans who once developed special powers after being sent to concentration camps. Was that what they were? Mutagens?" "NO VIEN YOU IDIOT!!!!" Jane roared. But then she controlled herself an sighed. "no Vien....they are not mutants." "Then what are they?" Vien asked. "You don't remember...I do not know why Vien, but you do not remember anything do you?"Jane asked. "Do you even remember my real name?" Vien didn't respond. Jane sighed and continued "In our universe, our enemy wasn't the flood. It was the bane."

(to be continued.)

I miss camnator.