(reposted from an earlier thread, thought it would make for good discussion)

I don't watch TV. Simple enough. Most made-for-TV programs are bullshit anyway, especially in America where everything has to be sensationalized.

There is a TV program in Japan called Sasuke. It's a show in which contestants run through a challenging obstacle course in a limited amount of time and it takes incredible skill to run this course in all its parts completely in the time allotted. In Russia, the show is called Путь ниндзя, which means something like "Way of the Ninja". In America, you may know this show as Ninja Warrior. I've watched it both in America and in Russia and it's cool as shit. They don't do any voice-over of the announcers, so its original language is only supplemented by subtitles. Pretty cool stuff.

Of course, then comes American Ninja Warrior, a complete sham and a mockery of the original program (the original is one which I regard as a masterpiece of television). They turned the whole damn thing into a gameshow rather than a test of one's skill. Now there's no time limit and the course is much easier.

There is a lengthy introduction to each contestant taking up a majority of the show. In the original, the announcer spends fifteen seconds saying the person's name and their job unless they're a previous winner in which case they're applauded, but the introduction is still short. Even for people you've never heard of in American Ninja Warrior get a lengthy introduction. The American version takes so much longer to do anything at all and only a few people run the course. In the Japanese original, nearly 100 people are able to run the course in the length of a program and in the nearly hour-long American episodes, barely anyone runs the course. Bullshit.

The worst part though is that they ruined how the course is fundamentally played. In Sasuke, any people who achieve Total Victory (completing the entire course), whether it be one person or many are equally applauded as winners. They each are regarded as champions and no one person "won more" than another, which is indicative of how the Japanese view competition and I respect them greatly for their decision to honor all winners, as each of them very much deserves it.

>inb4 weeaboo; am not one

Of course, in the American version, they fuck it up. In American Ninja Warrior, there can only be ONE winner, as is typical of American gameshows and it's bullshit. There's only one winner even if multiple people are capable of completing the course (entirely possible because of how dumbed down the course was), so if someone goes before you and they win, it's tough shit for you.

That's the fundamental problem with TV and America's culture in general. They have no respect for you and they have no respect for the source material for absolutely anything. They could make a movie about Pushkin's life (as if they care about him) and they'd completely ruin it. I know they would.

I've never once seen a comment on a YouTube video that's worthwhile in any way. Nearly every comment (with the exception of the comments you guys have made) on the four or five YouTube videos I've made so far is complete bullshit.

Take this for example:


That's one of the comments on my video where I destroyed Call of Duty: Ghosts, which some of you may have seen.

This mental retard claims the following (none of which are true):
1. I am American
2. I am under the age of 18
3. I made my parents buy me Ghosts
4. I have no friends
5. My hat is stupid

First off, my hat is a Soviet-era ushanka and it's cool as shit and super comfortable to wear. Secondly, I'll address pretty much every other point. This dipshit assumes that because I'm burning a video game in a fire pit in my backyard, I must be getting money from my parents/incapable of having a job or friends/of having a stupid hat. Oh, and he assumes I'm American, which is the worst insult of all. To hell with you, "ccseancc", whatever the fuсk kind of name that is.

Essentially what I'm trying to say is that people are fuсking idiots, which should surprise no one. Go ahead and share your stories. We've all had an experience like this before and I'd like to hear about them. Ready, go!

So I opened up my YouTube thingy today to see that I have nine subscribers. This is the first time I looked at my sub count since I started, so I was sort of shocked that people actually want to see the bullshit I put out. Good job, me.

How many subs do you have?

I found this gem on a Destiny poster a friend of mine got me from GameStop.



I love how Destiny looks so similar to Halo that they have to specifically state on the merch that it isn't Halo.
Geniuses.

link: http://i.imgur.com/eMazRz2.jpg

"You're white, therefore you should be paying reparations to compensate blacks for slavery."

Anyone who makes that extremely American-centric statement is a fucking idiot for two reasons.

1. Not everyone who is white in America has ancestry from slave owners.

2. You are not responsible for the actions of those who came before you.
  2a. Descendants of enslaved people in this day and age are not being adversely affected in any way.

As some of you may know, I am from Russia. I was not born in America nor do I have any ancestors from America. Yet somehow social justice warriors tell me that I, the white man am personally responsible for slavery and that I should pay for it, despite me/my ancestors having nothing to do with the American slave trade.

Of course, social justice warriors are flawed in their thinking most of the time and generally aren't to be taken seriously, but I hear normal people around me repeating the sentiment that white = responsible for slavery and it's fucking ridiculous.

Plus, even if my ancestors were slave owners in America, what difference does it make to you? You're not being affected by me and I don't owe you shit just because your ancestors were enslaved. You're not enslaved now, so shut the fuck up. You live in a developed country. You don't really have much to complain about, so you find stupid shit to complain about instead.

In short, why are people so fucking stupid?

The title of my post is misleading. I already knew people are fuсking idiots.

So apparently someone shared my Moto 360 Unboxing video to Reddit and it got a bunch of views overnight. Of course, with bunches of views come bunches of stupid comments.

Now, for those of you who were not aware, that video is intentionally shitty and obviously a joke. I used the shittiest camera I could find and I intentionally misinformed my viewers about aspects of the watch. None of my videos are serious in the slightest, in case you've not been able to tell.

So my video got a few stupid comments about how "No, the watch is actually stainless steel" and how my video is shitty because I focused heavily on a piece of foam I found in the box. I know it's stainless steel, idiots. It literally says so right on the back of the watch:



I swear to fuсking Juses Crust that in order for something to be seen as satire, you literally have to put the phrase "THIS IS SATIRICAL/A JOKE" right in the goddamn title. It's obviously a parody of shitty unboxing videos and nobody got it because I'm a genius and nobody can see on the same plane of existence as me.

In case you have no goddamn clue what I'm talking about, watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdI1k_CuGZI

Of course, that is not true. But some people still think it is. Watch this video showing some reasons this 12 year old kid likes consoles more. It made me laugh heartily and my balls gesticulated.



Why are people still fucking idiots?

I was browsing the forums again today looking for evidence that Cheat is the real Illuminati when I saw Cheat's mobile device poll (which you should totally go vote on, BTW http://sep7agon.net/index.php?topic=7787.0). I moused over his name and found this:



Pretty suspicious... But not enough to confirm that Cheat is in fact Illuminati. So I did some digging inside the site's code and found references to a secret Illumanti plan inside the mobile device poll:



Also suspicious. I continued to search the site's code for an hour and a half and found nothing. Discouraged, but not defeated, I decided to do some detective work on Cheat himself. Who is he really? Does he really design websites or is he actually Illuminati? We may have never known...

Until I found this final piece of evidence which most definitely confirms that Cheat might be Illuminati:



This may not be conclusive evidence, but I'm like 50% sure that Cheat maybe has a small amount of involvement with Illuminati...

OR DOES HE!?1!?

Seriously, you're nearly 18 and haven't even had sex yet? That should be a bannable offense in and of itself, outside of all the shitposting.

At the very least just fuсk your couch or something. I fucked my first Russian woman when I was 15 years old. Get it together.

Think about it like this: mayflies live only a few days and even they get more action than you.

The admins of Sep7agon may not be telling you everything... In the following video, I explain all. The results of my findings may shock you.

Oh shit! Almost to 100 posts! I can feel the hype in my testicular area.

I joined not too long ago, and already, I am the sexiest Russian motherfuсker here. You can't deny that fact.

Suck my balls plural, Amerika.

In this video, I use my shitty camera to capture sub-480p footage of one of the newest Android Wear products: the Moto 360. Is very nice watch. I wear mine every day.

If you have any suggestions for future videos, please let me know. I am willing to unbox any and all products which can be found in a box. Additionally, I will be crucifying and burning my copy of Call of Duty: Ghosts while dressed up as a spooky ghost very soon.

Watch my video of the unboxing of this game on PC. My reaction to finding multiple disks is genuine and I had a heartbeat monitor hooked up and everything, is very real reaction.

Thanks for watching or at the very least loading this thread and then leaving. Take care.

Everyone knows Density is shit. Let me tell of you a story about my experience with the game. If this goes well, it will be start of weekly series exclusive to Offsite Flood where I talk of sad things that happened.

What does The Flood think of my shitty English and sad story?

Adhesive Wombat is cool as shit. And one of his songs is in the intro to LinusTechTips (not this song). You can hear his shit everywhere but nobody credits him and it makes me salty.

Anyway, have a listen.