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Messages - Jive Turkey
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661
« on: April 26, 2017, 05:13:26 AM »
Today was interesting, might have ruined all progress idk yet we'll see if this is good or bad
So after the ex texted me, I unblock her to send a message about disappointment etc. An hour later she calls me but I didn't see it till after. So I text her, no reply. Then I call her and it turns out I'm BLOCKED. So I call her from private and she picks up, tells me her ex made her block me the day before(he's super insecure about me that's an entire other story) and she thought calling me would unblock me.
So after some texting we met up and her college and walked around and talked. I felt very disconnected from her in that I sort of felt pity for her and that I was better than her, I think it's how I move on. We started entertaining the idea of being friends when I mentioned how we might not be able to stand the idea of us being with someone else and knowing about it.
She asked and I told her about the girl I'm talking to. She became extremely angry/upset and after more talking tried to convince me to go to bed with her but just sleep no sex touching etc. I refused and she basically tried kidnapping me LOL and started driving us to her house where I'd have no way of getting home.
She's very confused and upset lots of texts etc, says all her feelings came back just by seeing me. I would like to be friends but like I said idk if I can handle the idea of her hooking up/meeting new guys. I may regret this in the near future we shall see.
On the plus side I feel great right now and I'm gonna sleep like a baby
662
« on: April 26, 2017, 05:03:52 AM »
Jive have you ever heard of Shia Islam?
No why?
663
« on: April 25, 2017, 01:24:09 PM »
OUCH
The drive last night really helped a lot. I felt not bad this morning as well, but I got a text from her very petty ex boyfriend
It said "so I had a fun week with her but you can have her back now. Apparently she never loved you anyways". I told him we're broken up for good and that what happens between them isn't my business anymore that chapter of my life is closed.
Not gonna lie it stings pretty hard but not as bad as it would've a few days ago, that's a good sign. Still man, that shit is gonna mess with my head for a while, fuck that insecure ass dude
664
« on: April 25, 2017, 01:18:50 PM »
It's karma man. You were trying to bring me down when I'm at my lowest so now you're going to feel like shit. I hope you feel better soon my dude
665
« on: April 24, 2017, 11:35:06 PM »
fuck you asshole please die
Normally id like arguing with you but right now you are not even a blip on my radar man, sorry.
666
« on: April 24, 2017, 11:33:07 PM »
Day 4 no contact
Today was extremely hard for some reason. The longest we'd both ever gone without speaking since the time we have mown each other is 2 days.
I have her blocked on all media and cellphone, and I told her I'd block her in my phone and she said she understood. Today I've had the strongest cravings to text her. My entire day was basically spent thinking about the pros and cons of becoming "just friends" with her. It's like my emotions are trying to rationalize that so I can stop feeling pain. Deep down in the long run I know that will end not good but it's like I don't care, reminds me of junkies who are addicted to drugs and know they're bad but do them anyway.
Spent like 3 hours at the bookstore reading, mostly this book about grieving and then another book by a monk. Interestingly the grieving book, although it was directed towards grieving the death of someone, was extremely relatable to how I feel.
Gonna shower then go for a nice long drive to nowhere tonight. I love doing that, I used to do it a lot back before I met her. It'll also be my time to release all my feelings I've held in through the day(this is very healthy to do, I'll probably cry hard smh).
Lots of thoughts going through my head honestly. I don't actually WANT us to be together again, I just want her in my life because I genuinely enjoyed everything about her as a person, good and bad. But I know I wouldn't be able to stand seeing her hookup with or love someone else no matter how happy I want her to be, at least not now.
667
« on: April 24, 2017, 11:25:58 PM »
Hi y'all I'm sure you guys are tired of hearing me cry about this like a little baby but it's a huge time in my life, so I'm going to keep this as a sort of log. It helps release stress and it will be nice to look back. Comment or don't it's all good, I expect heavy criticism but I'm going to be completely open with my emotions.
This girl was honestly my first love and has changed me dramatically
668
« on: April 24, 2017, 12:16:16 AM »
all of that testosterone is going to explode your brain
Pretty sure he's done that already, he was injecting testosterone and started asking me about estrogen blockers a while back. Fun fact if there's too much testosterone in your system, your body converts it into estrogen. So that's probably why he's such an emotional wreck sometimes
I already know what I have to take I was just curious about what doctors were prescribing you specifically. And yeah if I go over 400mg weekly I become very emotional even with my aromatase inhibitor on perfect check. But right now I'm not even on anything smh it's crazy
Something I've never understood, if you have access to a social life outside this circle and women to associate with why do you bother coming here? Assuming this isn't all a dedicated online persona, why do you still come here? What's the point?
I've always enjoyed posting on forums, I started on bungie.net when I was like 10 years old. I don't know really, here I feel very at home and comfortable talking about anything. I enjoy all of the personalities and am genuinely interested in the wellbeing of sep7agkn members. It's like i can escape away to this little community 
669
« on: April 24, 2017, 12:04:15 AM »
all of that testosterone is going to explode your brain
Pretty sure he's done that already, he was injecting testosterone and started asking me about estrogen blockers a while back. Fun fact if there's too much testosterone in your system, your body converts it into estrogen. So that's probably why he's such an emotional wreck sometimes
I already know what I have to take I was just curious about what doctors were prescribing you specifically. And yeah if I go over 400mg weekly I become very emotional even with my aromatase inhibitor on perfect check. But right now I'm not even on anything smh it's crazy
670
« on: April 24, 2017, 12:02:20 AM »
I don't understand half the stuff you're saying yo I just miss my ex girlfriend mayne
do you not remember the fucked up shit youve said in past threads
all of that testosterone is going to explode your brain
Brah TBH I don't really remember or care at all lol, I was more than likely just saying stuff that I knew would upset you on purpose. I apologize if it did
671
« on: April 23, 2017, 11:27:47 PM »
I don't understand half the stuff you're saying yo I just miss my ex girlfriend mayne
672
« on: April 20, 2017, 06:59:10 PM »
You did the right thing bro
it hurts so bad man
673
« on: April 20, 2017, 06:58:19 PM »
I literally just want to stop feeling. Fuck this is so awful. Rationally I know it'll eat better but right now I'm a sobbing mess on the floor
674
« on: April 20, 2017, 06:55:10 PM »
Cut all ties. Deleted everything and number
It never gets easier. I hurt so bad right now. Pure raw sadness pain and anger. I feel like I'm not even conscious typing this. I literally want to die
675
« on: April 20, 2017, 02:14:38 AM »
join vc
Youll never get me to leave my true home, Sep7agon
676
« on: April 20, 2017, 02:06:05 AM »
It was actually the first of both Alien and Predator movies I ever saw or heard of so for the longest time I believed it was the original and that Alien etc were spin offs
677
« on: April 20, 2017, 02:02:57 AM »
For some reason I thought it'd be here forever
You never really know what you have till its gone
678
« on: April 20, 2017, 02:01:31 AM »
potassium
Potatoes are high in potassium. There's a thing you now know.
i knew this already
Why you being sassy?
679
« on: April 18, 2017, 10:24:08 PM »
TURN IT ON AHHGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
680
« on: April 13, 2017, 12:10:40 AM »
Gonna have to say Ian.
I hate you tbh
I can't get past your nose.
Honestly neither of you is cute.
Get a rhinoplasty and then ask.
LMAO coming from the dude who looks like my grandpa
I'm adorable.
Damn wtf Sol is way cuter than Class. And this isn't even me hating this is legit, Sol makes Class look masculine as fuck
681
« on: April 12, 2017, 06:27:01 PM »
When I think about it, Ian has more potential to be cuter. Better haircut/losing facial fat and he would look much better. It seems like Class is already maxed out (very sad to max out looking like that)
ian does not look feminine
But he can look cuter with touch ups (facial fat etc). Potential is very important
682
« on: April 12, 2017, 06:24:06 PM »
I'm cute
Getting bigger bro. Pretty nice gains from a year ago since the last time I seen you.
Thanks bro! I'm trying to lean out right now for summer then I'm gonna try to get hyuuuge
683
« on: April 12, 2017, 06:23:29 PM »
When I think about it, Ian has more potential to be cuter. Better haircut/losing facial fat and he would look much better. It seems like Class is already maxed out (very sad to max out looking like that)
684
« on: April 11, 2017, 06:53:47 PM »
You're dumb
685
« on: April 11, 2017, 06:46:47 PM »
That means I'm still pretty cool
686
« on: April 11, 2017, 06:40:58 PM »
This thread is now about me
687
« on: April 11, 2017, 06:39:31 PM »
I need a haircut
688
« on: April 11, 2017, 06:36:52 PM »
I'm cute
689
« on: April 11, 2017, 01:42:35 PM »
Damn I might take a trip soon their tickets boutta be super cheap
690
« on: April 11, 2017, 01:37:41 PM »
I'm cuter than both though 
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