More.

Wew lad.

What's the fun of having a game like DND if you can't see just how far you can go with the limits of the game? Doing some textbook LARPer crap is boring. There's nothing interesting about doing the same shit over and over again. "Oh we're gonna fight Goblins and then kill the dragon and save the princess and we're going to artificially extend this by about ten weeks through doing the same heroic cliche shit before.

No fuck that, I like the runs where everyone is over the top and not taking it seriously because that's WAY more interesting.

Quote from: Pip on May 04, 2016, 07:42:05 PM

No offense

I would have too

There is a sanity check that on a fail, you can gain a mutant ability. A good number of them are negative, but my friend managed to hit 'supernatural' abilities per roll.

The DM made us roll each time someone says a shitty meme, and one of my friends obtained 14 mutations in a single session, which was from failed rolls. He became lucky and obtained basically superpowers. Yesterday, he lost his character because he ascended to a demigod.

MFW battle buddy is a memelord now.

Here's the table of varying alterations:
https://archive.org/details/the_metamorphica

We are not fighting the insurrectionists anymore, we are fighting the covenant, an alien race intent on wiping us out. I had conflicted feelings, I hated the human race because they were savage. Maybe this is what they deserved. But then again, I am human and part of me still cares about my species, but enough of that. I had a special interrogation. 2 high ranking covenant elite units had been captured alive. I was ordered to find out what they knew. I'd never tortured something inhuman before. This was going to be a new experience. The first elite was already in the interrogation room, waiting for me. I entered the door, and saw the massive creature cuffed to the table.

As with all of my victims, he was stripped nude. When I entered, he looked at me and snarled.  "They sent a female? What do you humans take me for? Some kind of sniveling grunt?" I never saw an elite up close before, he had a beautiful body! His dark blue scales shined with an iridescent sheen. they rippled as his muscular chest heaved up and down. It was too bad that I was going to cut it up. His voice was deep and masculine. His member was huge! I felt a bit of a rush to my head, but I recovered quickly. I said to him, "Don't worry, I won't disappoint you."

The elite gave a mocking snort. I said to him, "Here is how this works. You are going to tell me what you know about your fleet's plans, then I will kill you. Refuse to tell me what you know, then I will make you wish you were dead." He spat at me, flecks of spittle landed on my face, then he laughed. "I wasn't expecting this to be easy.", I grinned, reaching for my instruments. I picked up a device that looked like a rotary saw, but instead of having a normal saw blade, it had a diamond-embedded disk. It is useful for cutting through hard objects, but I use it because it takes a long time to cut through flesh, basically grinding and burning the skin.

The elite watched me but didn't seem to be afraid. I turned on the saw and it made a loud whirring noise. I got to work. I started to cut through his wrist. I could smell the flesh burning, but all I got out of him was a groan. I was impressed, people usually succumbed as soon as I cut half way through their index finger. So I cut off his hand, and he was breathing fast. I asked him if he was willing to give up, but he mocked me. "Hmmph, is this all you got?" What a tough specimen! I continued to torture him, I used scalpels, sanders, grinders, I used plyers to pull out his teeth, one by one. He never screamed or pleaded, he just groaned.

I was running out of ideas, and he was bleeding to death. Finally, I tried something desperate. I took a large shear, and I placed it around his penis. For the first time, he flinched, he seemed afraid, but he said nothing. I slowly closed the sheers, they began to cut into the sides of his shaft, he shivered as the bluish-purple blood began to flow. Then I lopped it off. He howled loudly and cried, cursing me. His blood flowed all over the table, I picked up is severed phallus and slapped him around the face with it. He died without giving me anything. This was a challenge, but I had 1 more chance to get the information I wanted. I kept the severed phallus because that could come in handy. But I felt something I never felt before. I felt some sort of remorse for what I had done. I did not understand why, I never felt remorse when I tortured humans. Why now? It doesn't matter. I put the limp penis into a freezer.

Later that night, I was in my office, filling out my report. But my mind kept wondering back to his body. I kept thinking about his shiny scales, his muscular physique, his masculine voice. He resisted my torture the whole time. I could not defeat him. My head felt light and I could feel my face blush. I was filled with lust, thinking about that beautiful body, the way the scales rippled when he breathed, The bestial grunts he made. I did something crazy, I opened the freezer under my desk and took out his frozen phallus. I pulled down my pants, and I shoved it into my pussy. It was cold, but it was big and hard. I spread my legs, leaned back in my chair, and I began to masturbate while my mind wondered off to that sexy alien. I never felt this way about any human.

I thrusted into myself again and again and again. I clenched my mouth shut because I did not want to make any noise. I could feel the orgasm approaching rabidly. I groaned as it took hold of me, I could feel my sex tighten around the big frozen shaft, spilling all over my chair. When I was done, I sat their, holding the penis in my hand, wondering what I had just done. Then I put it back int he freezer, and I cleaned up my mess. I finished filling out my report and I went home. That night, I dreamed about the elite I had tortured and killed. In the dream he pinned me down and raped me. It was a good dream. I had one more chance to get this right. This is going to be fun. 


(to be continued)

I got 8 right.
Find my thread habits.

I don't hold grudges.

When Mah Boi is just right.

Quote from: Vien on May 03, 2016, 10:25:01 PM

Rust

That's MW2, but now you mention that I totally forgot about Shipment. I remember going 120 and 30 on that map once and I unlocked like 6 attachments for different guns.

Definitely Nuketown then.

Rust

Preferably OldSchool memes, pictures only.

Bout to slap this dude for that gay ass comment

"I dropped the dragon ball"

What the fuck homes

.....dropped the ball.

When you're so old school that you're in Knighthood.

What processor are you running?

I'm assuming an i3. It's going to bottleneck until he goes up to like an i5 4670k or higher.

I can just shoot one of my little toes off since it counts as shooting myself. I always bang those little fuckers against coffee tables as well.

But i already got #19

Either I will place the 19 under a lewd scene or you will settle with a longtooth shifter.