inb4 I'm an ungrateful asshole who doesn't know that Chrsitmas is more about family than presents.

inb4 sandtrap

It started out as a joke. My friends had joked about it - even egged each other on to try it. We all laughed at the concept.

-blam!- a bowl of cheerios?

The mere idea sent shivers down my spine. The initial roughness in texture. The cold milk shrinking my erect -blam!-.

"What joy could there be in that?" I thought to myself.

After a few weeks nobody brought it up anymore. We'd moved on to different jokes and catch phrases as most groups do. They weren't as funny, but they definitely weren't as weird. We did the usual things and Friday was drinking day. By 2:00 am all four of us were plastered. Jake let out a long sigh after pounding another shot of SoCo and Kevin was loudly snoring on the couch. After a twenty minutes or so it was just Steve and I alone left finishing off our remaining beers.

"Dude hold on," Steve smiled. "What's up man?" I said in my drunken stupor.

Steve sloshed his way over to his refrigerator and removed a gleaming white bowl from the fridge. I instantly knew what it was.

"What the -blam!- -blam!- is that Steve?" I asked "-blam!- Cheerios man. You should -blam!- them!" He seemed excited. "Dude it was just a joke. Don't tell me you..." I was cut off. "Naw dude I didn't -blam!- no cheerios. But I will bet you $50 you won't do it." I had my excuse. "Fine -blam!- I'll do it." I was becoming erect already. "How will I know you did it, huh?" I froze up. My erection started to die. "Is this some elaborate ploy for you to see my -blam!- dick, bro?" I shouted, nearly waking our sleeping companions. "Nah dude I just don't want any -blam!- cheating, man. I got $50 on this -blam!-." "Fine, I'll do it with my back to you and just stick my dick out through my fly." I was erect again.

We both went silent. I carefully walked to the corner of the room and looked down upon the soggy mash of Cheerios awaiting my erect -blam!-.

They were Honey Nut.

Without waiting I plunged my eager tool deep into the bowl. The milk washed upon my swollen testicles as they dipped into the soft contents of the bowl. I thrusted gently and realized how the cheerios seemed to react to the shape of my member.

The bowl was deeper than I expected. I heard cries of laughter coming from Steve but I kept going. I wave of white anticipation struck me as my -blam!- grew stiffer and my balls rumbled with an all to familiar feeling.

I came. I came into that honey nut flavored bowl of beaten cheerios. My semen mixed flawlessly into the color of the bowl. My knees went weak. My breathing hastened.

"I -blam!- love cheerios," I said with a smile.

Three days had past since my first cheerio-man encounter.

I had since then started experimenting with different things. I tried chocolate milk, but it the whole experience just felt... interracial. I tried adding sugar as well but the clean up became a hassle.

Finally I settled on bananas. They were the missing part of the equation. The cheerio inspired orgasms had doubled in strength, but my roommates were growing suspicious. I had never ate cheerios in the two years we'd lived together and now I was going through a box per day. And nobody had ever seen me eat a bowl. I knew I had to be careful.

I called Steve to to joke about it a few days after it had happened and he didn't remember. I lost $50 but gained an experience that can only be equated with touching God. It was a fair trade.

With Steve out of the way I felt a little more relaxed.

"But not as relaxed as I could be," I whispered quietly to myself. A grin formed on my face as I slowly exited my room and made my way down the stairs. Only my roommate Lynn was home. She was gorgeous, but I had no time for girls.

I had cheerios.

I carefully poured the bowl of cheerios into the deepest bowl I could find. I delicately sliced one whole banana and placed it meticulously around the bowl.

"This is going to be a great night," I thought.

I snuck outside to let the cheerios moisten, my -blam!- throbbing in anticipation. My mouth moist as if the cheerios had some Pavlovian effect on me.

I snuck inside quickly and plunged my -blam!- straight into their cool, soft innards. I thrust my head back in pleasure as the banana slices gently caressed the sides of my swollen prick. It had been only a few minutes, but showers of -blam!- sprang from my -blam!- mixing into the milky broth. A quiet whisper escaped my lips.

I began to cleanup and headed to the sink to wash the dish when I heard it.

"What are you doing?" My roommate Lynn stood there barely awake. "I uh just having a bowl of cheerios," I smiled. "I'm -blam!- hungry and you keep eating them. Now I'm craving em. Hand em over."

I was erect again.

She eagerly filled her mouth with my magic potion of cheerios, banana's, and semen infused milk.