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Topics - Solonoid

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1291
The Flood / Ctrl+V
« on: January 29, 2015, 02:38:32 PM »
You know what to do.

Quote
"This won't be long." I softly said as grabbed a knife from the metal table to my right. You're body laying on a larger metal table in front of me, a dim light pours what little light it can onto you and the nearby floor. "I promise". I doped you up just prior, so you won't feel a thing, but still conscious enough to see what is going on, just what I wanted. I placed my right hand on your left side and became to cut a vertical slice down the right half of your upper chest. After reaching the bottom of roughly parrell to your belly button, I stopped, and began to slowly walk clockwise around you. My heavy shoes clanging on the hard flooring. Now on your other side, I placed my hand on your chest again and started to cut another vertical cut on your left. The sharp blade was no trouble go through your skin.

Once I reached the bottom. I made two quick slices at the top and bottom, cutting a rectangle into your chest. I placed the knife back on the and swapped it for another tool, similar to that of a metal spatula. I poked my finger in one of the corners of the rectangle cut and hooked it up, while I took the spatula and lifted your skin, like how you would grab a piece of a baked lasagna. I pulled up the piece of skin and tossed it onto the cold hard floor. Revealing your inner organs. "Now the fun can begin." I whispered quietly to you as I tightened the plastic gloves I had on. I danced my finger around your organs and rib cage for a few seconds, then I swiftly grabbed the sharp knife again and made several cuts to your small intestine.

I pulled several feet of your intestine out of you and cut if of. Letting me fumble it around like a slimy worm. I wrapped the intestine around my neck like a scarf and finished pulling the remaining length out and threw it onto the ground beside the flab of skin. I patted my hands on my apron to remove some blood and shoved them back into your chest and ripped out your stomach. It had a mixture of smooth and rough texture as I squished it. I took a quick glance at your face and I could sense the horrified look in your eyes. So I began to squeeze in the stomach in so anything inside it would push out the end where the esophagus meets. A vile goo seeped out onto your right hand leaving a horrid stench. I dipped my index finger into the goo and shoved it into my mouth. After a deep swallow. I looked at you and asked "Want to try some?"

I moved up to your mouth. Pressing my bloodied fingers into your cheeks. I took the knife again, pulled your jaw down and stabbed it into your tongue. With several brutal insertions, I tore out the mangled bits and put them in my mouth. Digesting them. "Yummy. A little chewy, but not bad." I let my grip on your jaw, it stayed open since you have no control over body functions. Peering over my table of tools, the ends of your intestine just barely touching the metal, I grabbed the pliers. "I'm sure you know what I'll do with this." I placed my arm along the top of your right wrist and took the pryers and grasped your ring finger, just past the first joint. With a few tight pulls and squeezes I managed to rip off your finger and I placed it into your mouth, with the remains of your mangled tongue. I eventually did this to your middle and index finger. With a new sharp blade, the other one once beginning to dull. I took the knife, waved in around in circles above your right eye and thrusted it through your retina. With one final touch I coiled your intestine on your collarbone. "All done....For now.." I pulled off my gloves and walked off into the surrounding shadows.

1292
The Flood / Why aren't I in the Skype group?
« on: January 28, 2015, 11:49:10 PM »
Disregarding the fact that I've never used Skype, why have I not been invited?

You motherfuckers let Deci in that shit?
I'm wounded.

1293
The Flood / I just quit my job, AMA me anything.
« on: January 27, 2015, 11:34:42 PM »
Myself, and four of my other co-workers just put in our two weeks notice.

We were the highest ranking employees, who worked the most hours.
Tomorrow, the owners will confront us, and we'll have to dodge their questions.

None of us have secured new jobs, but we think we'll be fine.

We almost quit on the spot while the entire Chamber of Commerce was gathered in our lobby.

So have at it, AMA me anything.

1294
The Flood / GOTTA SPAM FAST
« on: January 27, 2015, 02:32:15 PM »
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
DAMN THIS NEW SPAM IS FANCY
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

1295
The Flood / TrussingDon't
« on: January 27, 2015, 02:19:44 PM »
HA HA.
I HAVE MADE A JOKE OF THIS USER'S NAME.

1296
The Flood / Sangheilism is spreading...
« on: January 27, 2015, 02:02:58 PM »
I think I'm...

Getting down with the sickness.

1297
The Flood / Hey Dustbin...
« on: January 27, 2015, 01:59:49 PM »
hey bb u wan sum fuk

1298
The Flood / It's not shitposting...
« on: January 27, 2015, 01:57:28 PM »
If you do it quickly enough.

1299
The Flood / Real American Heroes Thread
« on: January 27, 2015, 01:49:34 PM »

THE SEX DEMON


THE HIDE AND SEEK CHAMPION


THE BEAST OF DETROIT



AND THEIR FEARLESS LEADER


1300
The Flood / Using my 1337 hax0r skiilz...
« on: January 27, 2015, 01:12:32 PM »
I have learned a lot of things about this site.
I've given myself Admin privileges and banned Cheat.
I've read some of the witty commentary addressing certain criteria within the website.
I've strode amongst unsuspecting mods in the HQ board.

The one thing I haven't figured out?

HOW TO HACK UP MY POST COUNT.

1301
The Flood / TheNotificationSystemIsPoorlyWritten.png
« on: January 27, 2015, 12:55:48 PM »

I know, but why did you have to make an image for it and hide it in the system resources?
Spoiler
It's a 1x1 transparent png, actually depicted above.
Linky

1302
The Flood / Daily Reminder that Slash...
« on: January 26, 2015, 01:58:19 PM »
Was the ORIGINAL mod.

He was mod before any other mods modded mderation.
He may be one of us now, but he is still the source of all modbias, and is not to be trusted.

1303
The Flood / HQ board confirmed.
« on: January 26, 2015, 01:32:08 PM »
I have seen it with my own eyes.

1304
The Flood / I'm so glad this website has a print button.
« on: January 26, 2015, 12:34:22 AM »
I use it twice as often as the social media buttons on b.next.

Thanks for spending time on that that you could've spent increasing my post count with 1337 hax0rs.

1305
The Flood / It was Christmas 2013
« on: January 26, 2015, 12:11:56 AM »
Keith the nine year old asked us to subscribe to his"yputube channel", and accidentally posted all of his information online, and we acquired and called his phone number.

That was thanks to the incredible detective work of Cheese Potato, but I was banned for six months because of what happened that day.

Nonetheless, that hero deserves a medal, because I still have the phone number.
Spoiler
ayy lmao
mods want you to PM me for it

Go nuts boys, it's payback time.

1306
The Flood / Flood, I'm Leaving
« on: January 25, 2015, 11:27:34 PM »
I'm heading over to the Serious board.
I'll be back later.




















Were you expecting me to actually go somewhere?

1307
The Flood / THIS IS A FUCKING OUTRAGE
« on: January 25, 2015, 09:13:51 PM »
This thread from Door, my good friend and an upstanding intellectual, has just been erased completely!
http://sep7agon.net/index.php?topic=25358.0

They've gone beyond locks, they've gone too far!
You damned dirty mods!

1308
The Flood / MY 1000TH POST
« on: January 25, 2015, 08:54:15 PM »
THAT'S RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS.

Seeing as I have now reached 1000 posts, I obviously have a higher post count than anyone else, including Cheat himself.

This entitles me to immediate Adminhood, and I am taking over the site and devoting it entirely to research into why autistic faggots spend their days posting memes.

As you might have guessed, this will mean that you will all have to cease the usual intellectual discussion that goes on here, and pretend to be weebs, furries, and other kinds of retards in general.

Nobody will be more effected by this than TrussingDoor, seeing as his posts will undertake the most drastic change in order to become even slightly autistic.

To add to the autism, I will need our incredibly even handed and patient mods to start locking whatever threads they feel like, and ban undeserving users, like our community leaders Comms and Camnator.

As for Cheat and Isara?
They may continue to post here, so long as they swear fealty to me.

With your help, we will undergo a smooth transition in this time of autism.
You can all pick up your extra chromosomes at the Door.

1309
The Flood / To any resident FBI Agents...
« on: January 25, 2015, 04:59:02 PM »
I am Dan the Man, from Pakistan.
I'm driving all across the land,
Raping kids in my Dan-a-Van.
If you want to take me you'll need a plan,
Because I'm with my brother Stan,
Who learned Kung-Fu when he was in Iran,
Training with the Taliban.
My exploits are so great and grand,
They were recorded in the Dan Qur'an.
Now I'm the leader of Dan Islam.

btw please join my destiny clan

Sorry, I have a short attention span.
Sometimes I smother the children in Flan.
The cheap shit, not name brand.
I like the little ones from Japan.
I fill their buttholes with bran,
And make another eat it 'cause I can.

If you report me you'll be banned,
Because Cheat is one of my Danly Fans.
I'M DAN THE MAN, FROM PAKISTAN!
IF YOU CHASE ME, YOU'LL BE DAMNED

1310
The Flood / True facts about Cheat
« on: January 24, 2015, 01:44:31 AM »
Anything posted in this thread is a true fact, but only once it's locked.

If the facts you post aren't true enough, then the thread will never lock.

Your first comment is a true fact about Cheat, subsequent posts become true of the following users in this order:

2. Ember
3. RC5908
4. Ryle
5. Meta Cognition
6. Tru
7. Ossku
8. SecondClass
9. [wildcard, pick any user you like]
10. Psy
11. Zen
12+ If you care this much, you can just say whatever you want.

To expedite the truification of your posts, any user you quote in your post may be the target of your fact.

Have fun.

1311
The Flood / Cheat, I have taken legal action you fucking neckbeard.
« on: January 21, 2015, 03:31:46 PM »
I have personally contacted our lawyers and am seeing to the end of your corruption with this website. You, along with any other shit-faced moderators on this website (including all user IPs that are linked to any "john cena", "marymejane", and "shane dawson" sep7agon.net accounts, along with any others who have moderated our message boards with horrid modbias) will receive word from our legal advisers very, very shortly in the form of either a phone call, mail letter, or hopefully the authorities themselves. I have saved and banned your IP off of this website. Share this message with anyone else and I assure you I will do more than take legal action. We know people. Don't take that as a fucking joke you sorry basement-dwelling prick. Goodbye. Hope to see your ugly, face in court. If not there, then in the ground where you belong you worthless pile of shit.
YOU HAVE BEEN BANNED FROM ACCESSING THE MESSAGING SYSTEM. ALSO, WHEN YOU LEAVE THIS PAGE YOU WILL NO LONGER HAVE ACCESS TO SEP7AGON.NET

1312
The Flood / Cortana is 95% Halo quotes.
« on: January 21, 2015, 02:42:41 PM »
YouTube


A little under an hour into it (no I did not watch this whole pathetic press release, I skipped around) the presenter is showing off Cortana and announces that she'll be in Windows 10.

Almost everything she says is ripped directly from Halo audio.
I can't wait for the web browser that's replacing IE, Spartan.
Ooh, or the archive manager GuiltySpark, as Windows has never had a built in archiver.

I'm especially exited for the Cole Protocol, which makes your computer shut down and delete all of it's data.

Yeah, gg M$.

1313
The Flood / HURRY SQUIDWARD!
« on: January 21, 2015, 12:22:36 AM »
If you're not inb4lock, the Ryle will meme you.

1314
The Flood / LEMON YOU MAN THIEVING WHORE
« on: January 20, 2015, 01:25:57 PM »
I made the first thread declaring my love for Verbatim two years ago.

You'll never take him away from me, do you understand?

He is, always has been, and always will be, mine.

1315
The Flood / Completely unexplainable phenomenae, explained.
« on: January 19, 2015, 04:11:54 PM »
Science has no reason why seasons occur, as far as we can tell, the sun just gets further away from the earth because it hates Christmas, but in The Silmarillion, Tolkien explains with divine providence.



And where was Disco invented?
At the Four Seasons hotel.

Coincidence?
I think not.

Tolkien: 1
Science: 0

ITT: Post explanations for phenomenae science claims are unsolvable, like why people are black.

1316
The Flood / Flux fact #420
« on: January 19, 2015, 04:03:50 PM »
When applying flux, proper technique is required to avoid burns, or uneven coating.

1317
The Flood / Remember when Velox was admin?
« on: January 19, 2015, 12:54:36 PM »
I think I miss more so the first days of this noble project than the days of b.old.

Those days when we were forging our own path, and the advent of the UN game, the PM party trains, and most importantly, no buttplug.deej.

Also, all of the autism that came out of Omega's mouth.
Spoiler
luv u  buddy

1318
The Flood / Just a friendly reminder...
« on: January 18, 2015, 11:31:25 PM »

1319
The Flood / Well, that just happened...
« on: January 15, 2015, 07:01:37 PM »
Was that our first CP emergency?
Thanks to Demonic for (eventually) doing something before the FBI arrived.

1320
The Flood / OH GOD THIS WAS A MISTAKE
« on: January 12, 2015, 06:46:00 PM »
I just sprayed myself with Axe, and now I reek terribly.

Maybe I should kill myself.

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