Also, fuck the people this thread. Just everyone saying "My condolences" or "Oh I'm so sorry to hear that...". No you aren't. You don't even know the guy. Don't pretend to care just because you can't add anything to the discussion. Are you going to lose sleep over this guy's death? Has hearing about Turkey's friend really emotionally impacted you that you can't function for the rest of the day? No it hasn't. Fuck off.

It should be noted that Turkey likely knows this. In fact, I'd say that mostly everybody here commenting knows this.

Loss isn't something that's foreign to people. I'm sure everybody's been there before. This is one of those moments, where words are forced. Not because people don't care. But it's because even if they did care, their words do almost nothing.

There are no words that you can say to anybody who has lost someone personal in their life. None. No words will remove the pain, no words will magically fix things.

And yet there you are, left with the choice of either not responding, or trying, desperately, to say something, for the sake of not leaving the conversation blank, devoid, and empty.

Even if, no matter what you say is going to phase right through the person you're giving your condolences to, people still choose to try and say something.

The death of somebody personal to you has no words to help it, or fix it. Nothing can be said to not make the situation awkward. Nothing can be said, that doesn't sound forced for the sake of it.

Let's say, for a moment, that this was your thread. Would you prefer total, absolute silence as a response? For somebody to actually respond with something more emotional than text and "my condolences?"

You are right. I don't know Turkey's friend. I had no emotional investment to him. Nor any contact, even. It might sound heartless to say it, but no, I don't care about him. Because I'm not there. I don't exist in that present moment to see all the people it's going to affect, to acknowledge that somebody is now gone from this world permanently.

But I understand the feeling from my own experiences. As I'm sure everybody else here does, who've ever lost people or things close to them. So logically, giving condolences is the best anybody here can do here. We lack the emotional ties to truly say sorry or necessarily feel bad over it.

So in it's place, we choose the closest thing we can to convey it, because while we might not feel the loss of Turkey's friend, we understand what it means and it feels to go through such a thing.

MY DICK IS FUCKING COLOSSAL

Oh see now you ruined it. Colossal's the conversation upper. It looks much better like this.

"My dick is fucking COLOSSAL"

Make sure you pass the refuse on to me then.

Natural scavenger you see. I take shit from the landfill all the time.

Bonus points if you recite it in person during actual physical conversations.

God damn that place gives off some weird vibes.

Like, they don't just say "Hey nigga, we take skin from dead people and make it leather. It's weird but try it out anyway, you might be surprised."

They seem to dance around on really light "fluffy" kind of wordings, all while trying to avoid the brunt of things.

This is some White Glove society shit right here.

Conversation #1 Insights

Number 1: Mindset

Your mindset and outlook on things is a very important factor in your mental health. Not only that, but a negative mindset is both incredibly hard to recognize at first, and harder to reverse because of the effects it has on your perception of everything. In my conversation with the doc, he mentions that it's something we're going to try and alter.

The key here, is WE.

Number 2: Nothing happens if you force it

That's right. One of the biggest steps in helping yourself, is actively being aware that something is wrong with you, and truly, one of the hardest first steps, is willingly committing and deciding to change. You could see a doctor until you're blue in the face, and he could literally hand you the keys to the universe and all of life's problems, but if you don't want to change, and fix yourself, then it will never happen.

What you have to do, is realize where a negative mindset stops you and hinders you. Pinpoint when and where it's happening, and resist it.

Number 3: Time

No psychologist or doctor can fix you overnight. The longer you take in finally reaching a point in admitting the truth to yourself and deciding to change, the longer it's going to take to fix.

I've been in this state since 2005. The doc admits to me openly, that it's going to take time to find a way through my troubles.

The first session alone left me tired and discouraged. Discouraged enough to not feel good, but feel bad instead.

^^^ This, is the mindset I mentioned in the first section.

Suggestions for help

The doc started me with something simple. Writing in a journal. Just to simply put my thoughts about the day into written form. And, while it may seem stupid or pointless at first, the reason is because both you, and a doctor, can gauge and find more aspects to you in your own private writing than expected.

The doc mentioned drugs, of course, of which I have several reasons both physical and opinion not to take. His personal advice to me was to wait and that he agrees. Drugs are never the first step, never should be, and should only be used as a last resort, and a slight booster to help you if you need it.

Not a full blown crutch. If you go to a doc for mental health, and the first thing they do is dump meds on you, back the fuck out.

My present condition:

Null. No happy, no sad, nothing. Emotions and feelings are both diminished and extremely short lived. Everything exists in a null, flatline state of grey to me. I care for little. My rational side is the only the only thing keeping me alive right now, and probably has been for a few good long years.

The doc says, that this is like "survival mode." People enter these states, obviously, to deal with trauma and tough situations. These states are handy for phasing through trauma and difficult conditions, naturally.

But the problem is when they overstay their welcome. If left in a state like this for a long enough time, depression sets in, now becoming a downward, self fed spiral. The depression generates more trauma, and you exist in this safety state, trapped. Left over time, you whittle away piece by piece until there's nothing left.

Quote from: Sandtrap on November 05, 2015, 11:37:37 PM

Quote from: Plasma Eagle on November 05, 2015, 11:36:33 PM

I mean, I've made some bad threads in my day, but damn.

So, what exactly brings you to these shores? Last time I remember seeing your name here was a long time back.

Bad bitches and my fucking problem.

How informative.

> implying bethesda is competent enough to program an awesome badass agile spider

its like everyone forgot about the fucking dragons

Ghost people are agile little fuckers.

Kinder and Treadmills

He'd better not be smuggling time.

Unshaped or molded glass didlos.

Off in the distance the dim shouts of "worldstar" could be heard, causing the driver to instinctively turn on the spot to home in on their location, not wanting to miss an opportune moment to see some world class shit going down.

I stopped trimming or cutting mine a while back.

TFW I sleep better by pulling a pillow ever so tenderly close to myself and realize that something like that might be a nice feeling to empart on a partner as we go to sleep.

But alas.

Tis just a pillow, every time.

TFW you write long story and can't open it up to finish it because corrupted data.