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Messages - Sandtrap

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1411
I rather enjoyed reading this rant.

Spoiler
People keep complaining about the fact that Finn and Rey beat Kylo at the end of TFA.

"He's so weak!"
"Beat by two nobodies!"
"Bitch got rofl-stomped by newbs!"

Did you watch the movie?

Did you pay attention at all?

Let's rewind a bit, and talk about something that comes up over a dozen times; Chewie's bowcaster.

The movie is like a freaking infomercial for the epic tons of fuck you and everything around you for the next twenty feet that this badass piece of weaponry dishes out like second helpings of your grandma's world famous mashed potatoes.

We see time again Chewie dealing heaping truckloads of fuck that guy and his entire lineage with this death-dealing weapon of pure carnage. He hits a Stormtrooper in the breadbasket and sends that poor sod flying twenty feet back into a wall as his armor shatters on the ground.

Han makes a point of asking Chewie if he can try it out, and then proceeds to obliterate five (two*) troopers with one easy shot.

Let's not mince words here. Chewie's Bowcaster is like the unholy love child of the original fucking crossbow and a howitzer. The Empire should have just strapped this piece of weaponized fuck you to the front of an asteroid, aimed it Alderaan, and saved themselves the trouble of housing a giant space station.

So...after being shown the pure unadulterated hell that spews forth from this hand-held death cannon in a deluge of destruction and demise, we can all agree that being shot with this thing tops a long list of things you don't want to happen to you.

Well, it happens to Kylo Ren.

And, what does he do? Well, he doesn't get thrown through the air like every other fucking thing that gets hit by this murder machine. In fact, he just kind of takes a knee for a minute. He doesn't get instantly wrecked while careening through the air hoping for the sweet release of death. He gets up, and proceeds to walk it the fuck off.

But, he doesn't just quit there. He doesn't just walk off what everything else in the universe instantly dies from. He goes out to find a couple bitches, and tear them apart.

The amount of control, the amount of pure Force power to stay standing after taking a shot like that is mind-bending. But, he doesn't just stay standing. He goes out and fights. He should have been dead right there, or at least screaming in pain as his insides fought to be outside his body. But, he fights. He's using untold amounts of pure Force energy to keep his insides inside, to keep himself conscious, to keep his legs, arms, and body moving, all while fighting two people who, until this point, haven't really been spending a ton of energy. They're practically fresh. And, no training? Finn's a STORMTROOPER. He's been combat trained since childhood. You bet your ass he can handle himself in a fight. And, Rey? Rey's been kicking ass hand-to-hand since before she can remember. Sure, it's an unfamiliar weapon, but you give someone, with an inkling of how to fight, a stick and they'll hold their own.

Of course two people beat Kylo at the end. Dude's nursing a gut wound that would put down a Rhino on steroids. The question shouldn't be how did Finn and Rey beat him.

It should be this:

If Kylo Ren could do all of that after taking that kind of hit...how in the fuck are they going to stop him when he's at one hundred percent?

1412
The Flood / Re: How would you describe yourself?
« on: January 12, 2016, 03:34:54 PM »
Complex to myself, at the very least. Different moods and different states of mind all tangled up together into something that barely manages to hold on to function, jumping from one place to the next. I can never tell who I am or where I'm at.

No real identity of my own except for a few beliefs and rules I follow, based off repeated experiences. Depressive tendencies and outlook when it comes to my personal life or view of the world, but for some reason, the rule I follow the most and try to hold adamantly is never to inflict my condition on any others. Don't project it and don't turn it outward.

Decent enough intelligence to get the job done. Immense care for people around myself because I don't want to see people existing in the state that I know all too well, or being thrown into similar experiences and twisted into just another shitty person who's a marred reflection of the truly shitty things that people can be and do.

I'm broken and missing things. Only half of what I could be. But I keep trying to stay in the race so that I can stay around that much longer, if only to accomplish for somebody what nobody ever did for me. Being there when needed through the worst of it all. Having the answers, the will, and the care, to just be there and help. Always. 

1413
The Flood / Re: Experimental music
« on: January 12, 2016, 10:27:25 AM »
And I can't say that I like those tunes very much. When I listen to music, I either like to use it to bolster myself or I like to dissappear into it.

While that particular song stands out with all the pauses or instruments used, it's not one that incites any thoughts out of me whatsoever, and it's not one that'll bolster me in any way. I won't calm down or relax from listening to it. I won't increase my heart rate or feel like moving to it.

It reminds me of an explosion. The music's all scattered about and it jumps from one section to the next while I sit there imagining some fucking guy with a whistle as I listen to some fucking guy with a whistle. Or maybe a flute.

Not my cup of dicks.

1414
The Flood / Re: Experimental music
« on: January 12, 2016, 10:05:03 AM »
It's like you people are asking me to join that music thing and play nothing but african music.

1415
Gaming / Re: Halo 5 mega thread
« on: January 12, 2016, 05:36:46 AM »
I should just make joke MLG slayer gametypes that punish bad kids for being casual scum.

Set reload speed to 10% because only scrubs need to reload.
Set clamber speed to 10% because back in the day there was none of that fancy shit.
Assassination speed to 10% because true players just press B, not hold it.
Sprint speed into the negatives because back in the day there was no sprint.
No forwards movement speed, only strafe speed.

1416
The Flood / Re: would you marry your true love
« on: January 12, 2016, 04:59:43 AM »
Trick question.

You don't have to get married to be with somebody you love.

Marriage is just some paperwork and some money bonuses to show off with pride if you were raised in a family who believes that it's the words on the paper that truly define who you are.

And for the sentimental, marriage, the ring on the finger, is a bold commitment and stepping up to the plate, almost like a spiritual sense of binding that goes beyond just the simple act.

But, the punchline, of course, are the silly people on whatever colour of the spectrum who believe that marriage has to be an absolute thing. And if they're sticklers about it, then frankly, they're assholes you need nothing to do with.

So I'll pass on the tattoo, thanks.

1417
Gaming / Re: Anyone wanna join up for warzone?
« on: January 12, 2016, 03:01:25 AM »
-don't be a tool

Well, fuck.

When in doubt, just use a scout.

I think that's what counts as being a tool.

Of course I can actually drive so I'm capable of running people over sometimes.

I'm so glad ONI used their budget to make sure their vehicles were capable of surviving a tank shell, I guess they just consider their personnel expendable.

Na. ONI's just your typical standard office boss.

"This photocopy machine is worth more than you'll make in your life plus your life."


1418
Gaming / Re: Anyone wanna join up for warzone?
« on: January 12, 2016, 02:55:57 AM »
-don't be a tool

Well, fuck.

When in doubt, just use a scout.

I think that's what counts as being a tool.

Of course I can actually drive so I'm capable of running people over sometimes.

1419
The Flood / Re: You know all the toys in the movie toy story?
« on: January 12, 2016, 02:51:08 AM »
I dunno.

And frankly I don't feel the need to find out.

1420
Gaming / Re: Halo 5 mega thread
« on: January 12, 2016, 02:50:00 AM »
7-8 Scorpion tanks, 2 wraiths, and 2 warthogs falling and respawning instantly is enough to completely butcher Forge mode and crash Halo 5 so that you dashboard, by the way.
You could do the same in Halo 3 and Reach

I knew how to lag matches out but never induce a full on crash that requires you to restart the game.

1421
Have you tried being a cunt to your neighbors?

That always works wonders. When in doubt, be an asshole.

1422
Gaming / Re: Anyone wanna join up for warzone?
« on: January 12, 2016, 02:41:48 AM »
-don't be a tool

Well, fuck.

1423
Gaming / Re: Halo 5 mega thread
« on: January 11, 2016, 06:40:59 PM »
7-8 Scorpion tanks, 2 wraiths, and 2 warthogs falling and respawning instantly is enough to completely butcher Forge mode and crash Halo 5 so that you dashboard, by the way.

1425
Go outside.

1426
Masturbate. Nonstop. For seven days.
Well I've been off work for a week already. I've exhausted this option, and still have a week left.

Sleepy time.

1427
The Flood / Re: Proof Cheat is a jew.
« on: January 11, 2016, 05:38:08 PM »
I wouldn't mind falling asleep in a boat right now. Just lay back in a canoe out on a lake and sleep? Yeah. I could go for that.

1428
Gaming / Re: Halo 5 mega thread
« on: January 11, 2016, 05:36:12 PM »
Also at the ending of Halo 4 what purpose did changing the color around Johns eyes to be black have? In Halo 5 there is no mention of that at all so I figured it might have been said in a book or a lore thread.
It's called a shadow you idiot. His face was just intentionally shadowed for dramatic effect. There was no physical change to his face.

Pretty damn specific shadowing then.

Or it might be that John basically went on a nature trek through Requiem for about a week or two. I doubt he got very much sleep. Not enough sleep does wonders for your eyes.
His eyes were blacked out for dramatic effect.
I'm not even  talking about the bags under his eyes.

Ah, I see. The magic of cinema make-up and very specfic shadows at work.

1429
Gaming / Re: Halo 5 mega thread
« on: January 11, 2016, 05:29:35 PM »
Also at the ending of Halo 4 what purpose did changing the color around Johns eyes to be black have? In Halo 5 there is no mention of that at all so I figured it might have been said in a book or a lore thread.
It's called a shadow you idiot. His face was just intentionally shadowed for dramatic effect. There was no physical change to his face.

Pretty damn specific shadowing then.

Or it might be that John basically went on a nature trek through Requiem for about a week or two. I doubt he got very much sleep. Not enough sleep does wonders for your eyes.

1430
The Flood / Re: Sometimes I dont like this country
« on: January 11, 2016, 05:08:19 PM »
Well if you move to canada just about every form of life save for human beings and the odd cow is dead for about 7-8 months of the year.

1431
Serious / Re: Smart gun technology
« on: January 11, 2016, 05:01:19 PM »
Conjures up in my head dozens of scenarios in which it could get people killed.

You want your firearm as mechanically simple as possible. Extra parts cost lives.
You have to crack a few eggs to make an omelette.
We're talking about human lives, not eggs.

Quote
--if you could illustrate some of these scenarios for me, that would be great.
>Misplace watch/chip
>attacker breaks into home
>go for gun
>useless gun gets you killed

>with friend
>attacker
>person carrying the gun has it knocked away
>friend picks up gun
>doesn't have watch/chip
>useless gun gets you both killed

>attacker
>draw gun
>electronic failure causes malfunction
>useless gun gets you killed

I'd just like to point out one thing.

All of those scenarios paint human beings as being limbless retards incapable of defending themselves without the magical presence of a gun.

Or, maybe a little closer, suddenly incapable of living without a gun.

Little far fetched.

1432
Gaming / Re: Halo 5 mega thread
« on: January 11, 2016, 04:47:35 PM »
I know how to break Halo 5's Forge.

1433
Neat.

1434
Serious / Re: State of the Union Thread
« on: January 11, 2016, 11:56:17 AM »
Holy shit I'm sorry but I can't take that seriously when you word it like that.

Lovely input.

Proud to be doing my part.

1435
The Flood / Re: Congratulation you found a genie lamp
« on: January 11, 2016, 11:53:58 AM »
1. 100,000 wishes. I should be able to work with that over my lifetime.
2. Every wish deposits 100,000 dollars into my offshore swiss bank account.
3. I cannot be physically harmed or overpowered, or suffer from starvation until the 100,000 wishes are used or I die of old age.

So, with those three wishes made, what do I do?

I hitchike across the world. Listen carefully to folks I take pity on, and make a wish on their behalf. 100,000 gets dropped into my back account, which allows me to spend a little bit in places I visit, and be that one guy who hands out money freely.

That sounds like an appealing usage of semi-limitations to keep things fresh.


1436
The Flood / Re: What are the 3 most beautiful man made objects?
« on: January 11, 2016, 11:40:36 AM »

Mc donalds


The fake moon landing


Donald Trump's hair

1437
Serious / Re: State of the Union Thread
« on: January 11, 2016, 11:32:45 AM »
Holy shit I'm sorry but I can't take that seriously when you word it like that.

I can just imagine some gruff governmental figure talking about the speech.

"Mexican immigrant takes the podium."

It's just some fat mexican in a poncho and sombrero and a bag of oranges.

"Gun violence victims do you have anything to say on the gun control debates?"

*gestures to empty chair*

I'll be going to hell for laughing, surely.

1438
Serious / Re: Is nothing even anything?
« on: January 11, 2016, 11:24:17 AM »
I always figured that absolute nothing can't feasibly exist since, well, we're kinda here along with the universe. Unless all of that magically counts as nothing for some asinine reason.

Absolute nothing is just that. Nothing. The presence of our universe sort of ruins that. And, if we get more complex and say that it works like bubbles, than even still, in order to travel into absolute nothing, we'd have to come from something and somewhere.

So, no. I don't think true nothingness exists. Because if it did, it would have to be all encompassing.

1439
The Flood / Re: It'd be nice to chat with some folks tonight
« on: January 11, 2016, 03:25:54 AM »
I started playing Reach again tonight and realized just how badly Halo 5 ruined my skills. It's kind of sad really.

I can't say I envy you at all.

Even if you magically happened to git gud.

Just throw some pocket nukes and you'll win the game. Don't forget to sprint melee and cross map people by spamming your pistol despite lol bloom.
I did get better after a few matches. Reach may have aged, but its quality still shines through. Kind of makes you realize how trash some stuff in 5 is.

Watch out, you'll trigger sandtrap

I'm politely doing my best to refrain from going on a bender rant about Reach.

TL:DR It was never my cup of tea and I have no fond memories of it whatsoever. Doesn't stop others from enjoying it though.

1440
The Flood / Re: What would you do in this situation?
« on: January 11, 2016, 03:19:40 AM »

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