I'm going to make a Dark Souls lore video, but...

Big Boss · June 23, 2016, 03:48:37 AM

It's going to be my own spin on the story with fast food puns galore. Basically re-writing the plot to be about the rise of the big fast food chains. I need inspiration for the names and stuff though.

I need inspiration or ideas for some of the names, though. Example Pontiff Sulyvahn will be Pontiff Subway-man.

Luciana · June 23, 2016, 03:51:02 AM

That's actually pretty funny and ambitious. Uhh.. Someone needs to be McDonalds.

Gwyn: Lord of Burgers

or something

Big Boss · June 23, 2016, 03:55:07 AM

Quote from: Luciana on June 23, 2016, 03:51:02 AM

That's actually pretty funny and ambitious. Uhh.. Someone needs to be McDonalds.

Gwyn: Lord of Burgers

or something

That's Archdeacon Mcdonalds up there

A Cheese Potato · June 23, 2016, 03:56:50 AM

Soul of KFCinder

Luciana · June 23, 2016, 04:03:08 AM

I just read what that said. The Nameless Burger King lol.

Big Boss · June 23, 2016, 04:37:47 AM

Consumed King Oreos
Durex Gundyr

A Cheese Potato · June 23, 2016, 04:46:12 AM

Arby's Watchers
Ancient Wendy's

Big Boss · June 23, 2016, 04:48:35 AM

Artorias of the Arby's

Big Boss · June 23, 2016, 07:14:01 AM

Before there was fast food, there was nothing. A world shrouded in twisted dark fog and endless despair. While there are countless myths and legends surrounding the dark ages, one thing is certain: the citizens of old lived depraved, healthy lives. Consuming despicable fruit and vegetables, the people devoted themselves to a pitiful lifestyle of fitness and wellbeing, slaves to the pathetic notion of making themselves healthy. It was a dark time indeed, a history that some today might not even consider believing. While there isn't much in the way of solid proof of this early age, there are enough clues and well hidden snippets of information that may just be the key to unlocking the secrets of the old world, for those who are well studied in the lore and history of this world.
Regardless of whether or not the legends are true, one thing is for certain. From the dark, a spark emerged. It was but a faint spark at first, nothing more than a tiny flicker of light that barely illuminated the area surrounding it. Days passed and the spark steadily grew into a small, steadily burning flame. It was the only flame. The first flame, in fact. Drawn to the faint source of heat and light, four beings emerged. Nito, first of the bread. The Witch of Pukka-Piesalith and her bakers of pastry. Slim, the Lord of healthy eating and his faithful exercise class. And the Digestive Biscuit, so easily forgotten in the back of the cupboard.
With their mastery of the culinary arts they fed the world. Slim's potent milkshakes provided the people with a well balanced diet that helped their bodies grow. The bakers baked great puffy pastries. Nito distributed his loaves across the land to all who needed them. The digestive biscuit sat alone and unused, withering away in the dark recesses of the cupboard.
For a time, these beings existed in steady harmony, providing the land with a wealthy platter of good food and moderately balanced diets. But as is the case with most cases of old, disaster soon struck. The bakers, disattisfied with their pie-making efforts, attempted to craft a new delicious delicacy: Pizza. Spreading their dough out wide and flat, coated with the sauces of tomatoes ripped from the grounds of the earth they began crafting a masterpiece of meat, sauce and pastry that was covered in cheese. They believed that surely this was a breakthrough that would change the course of history, and they were correct. They sought out an untainted source of heat with which to cook their new creation, so the bakers sought to harness the power of that first flame. The flame had been covered over with metal bars to prevent unworthy beings from desecrating it. By then it was known as the First Grill. The bakers well and truly believed that what they were doing was for the best, but they were tragically mistaken. In the process of putting together the pizza, they had made one fatal error; they put the cheese on before the tomato sauce. With the flames of the First Grill erupting beneath the doughy disaster, the surface of the pizza began to bubble erratically, droplets of cheese and sauce shooting in all directions, sizzling and burning whatever it made contact with. As the bakers gazed on in horror a mighty geyser of tomato sauce and cheese erupted from the pizza and began spreading endlessly throughout the area. We can only imagine the horror that was experienced by the unfortunate souls that were caught in the flowing tsunami of boiling hot cheese. Those who were not immediately consumed were transformed into twisted cheddar demons, with horns of cracked dough and piercing red eyes of pure tomato.
The catastrophe brought an end to the age of quality food, the four original cookers fading into obscurity, little more than a myth. In the years that followed since, the food industry exploded in scale, with countless restaurant chains and brands opening up across the land, being born and grown from the seeds planted by the original four. Now only fast food remains, with little to remind us of the time that once was. Occasionally a whisper may be heard, telling tales of one of them being sighted in the gloomy depths of a dark kitchen or at the bottom of a deep fryer. Maybe they are waiting for a brave kitchen assistant to venture into their domains to confront them and learn their culinary secrets...

Deleted · June 23, 2016, 09:48:11 PM

We need Solaire with Sunny D

Tyger · June 23, 2016, 11:10:24 PM

Quote from: BT-7274 on June 23, 2016, 09:48:11 PM

We need Solaire with Sunny D

we really don't

that's such a tired overused meme

Big Boss · June 24, 2016, 07:04:59 AM

Deleted · June 24, 2016, 08:32:56 PM

Quote from: Big Boss on June 23, 2016, 04:48:35 AM

Artorias of the Arby's

Don't forget the order in his honor the Arby's Watchers