Fallout 3 was good, Skyrim still sets a funky-ass benchmark fo' modern games, n' Fallout 4 looks ta be packed wit a obscene amount of content. I be gettin pretty sick of these mopey threadz poppin' off bout how tha fuck shitty Fallout 3 was supposed ta be, how tha fuck borin Skyrim is (hint: if you bugged out up in Skyrim, you a funky-ass borin fuckin thug n' there be a no fixin that), n' how tha fuck supposedly shitty Fallout 4 will be.

Da irony is dat most of these playas now frontin Skyrim is shallow can look fondly at they 200+ minutez of adventurin up in a still-true technical benchmark wit genre-definin mechanics. It aint nuthin but just silly. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Skyrim is, without debate, a ridiculously detailed, expansive, content-filled n' organic game. Therez a reason dat da most thugged-out shitty partz of tha game is tha scripted rap pieces, n' thatz cuz tha game straight-up succeedz at bein open-world n' playa-driven. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I aint even shizzle what tha fuck tha "depth of a puddle" is referrin to. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Surely it aint poppin' off bout tha lore available up in tha game, or tha hundredz of straight-up optionizzle locations, hundredz of quests followed by procedurally generated quests, or tha thorough craftin system, biatch? Of course, tha game aint a cold-ass lil character-driven vidya novella a la Witcher yo, but tha series never fronts ta be such. It aint nuthin but a giant fuckin ghetto wit tonz of shiznit ta do n' tonz of lore ta uncover, n' it kicks ass at dat shit.

Fo real.

I tried ta like Dark Souls n' Bloodborne. I straight-up done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! If you actively trip off these games, dat is phat. It’s just not fo' mah dirty ass. By all accounts, I should’ve was horny bout dat shit. I trip off fantasy games, especially dem dat have��"dare I say it��"a darker twist. I wanna bust a nut on bein challenged, n' I wanna bust a nut on solvin puzzlez within games. That’s tha funk of it fo' mah dirty ass.

That was tha problem, though��"these game (Dark Souls n' Bloodborne, specifically) was not funk fo' mah dirty ass. In order ta trip off these games, up in mah experience, there be certain privileges dat is necessary: time, scrilla, n' tha dedication ta tha self-image as a gamer n' shit. Da entirety of gamin as hobby, gamestyle, or whatever, requires these privileges. But up in all mah experiences as a gamer, these aint manifested so straight fuckin as up in tha aforementioned games.

First, I’ll rap bout tha privilege of time.

Yo ass is thrown tha fuck into tha middle of tha action of tha rap without any concrete scam bout what tha fuck is goin on up in tha larger picture. Well shiiiit, it is easy as fuck  ta pick up tha controls n' hack away at enemies yo, but dat shiznit was unclear ta me as tha playa why any of what tha fuck I was bustin mattered up in tha larger narrative. Part of dis apathy stemmed from tha rate at which mah characta died. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I know dat dis be a big-ass part of tha game, n' I know dat “Yo ass Will Die” is tha straight-up edgy tagline of tha Dark Souls series. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Dat shiznit was mo' how tha fuck tha characta takes a thugged-out dirt nap rather than tha frequency. Da absolute loss of all tha progress I made over tha course of one or two minutes would be straight-up undone by one dirty scythe ta tha grill of mah character.

Usually, when gaming, tha hang-up of tha level correspondz directly wit how tha fuck nuff checkpoints is found within dat level fo' realz. An easier level would have fewer than five, while a mo' complex level may gotz a whole lot mo' n' mo' n' mo'. In these extraordinary examplez (Dark Souls n' Bloodborne), there be maybe three checkpoints over tha course of a thousand feet within tha game. Not bad, right?

No. Terrible.

A thousand feet within tha game is equal ta bout three minutez of work up in tha game. With Bloodborne especially, there be a cold-ass lil certain level of stealth dat is required. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Say there be 35 ta 40 enemies within 1,000 feet of distizzle between checkpoints, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Da characta has ta pick off each one of dem enemies at one or two at a time up in order ta git all up in dat stretch in-game. If it takes five minutes or so per enemy or enemies, dat takes a whole lotta time.

Then you inevitably take a thugged-out dirtnap cuz, surprise biaaatch! An evil dawg was there tha entire time n' it just ate yo' grill off. Yo ass wack-ass gamer, you, biatch. Now you must start again n' again n' again wit dem 35 ta 40 enemies from tha beginning, keep dat stray evil dawg up in mind, n' pray ta tha godz dat there aint another stray evil dawg behind tha next cart.

Bloodborne

As a hustlin hustla, I could not justify bustin dat much time on tha same partz of tha game fo' days. I’m dirty��"I only had ta work one part-time thang while goin ta school. But a shitload of playas aint gots tha time in-between two or three thangs on top of a gettin a higher level of ejaculation or takin care of they crew. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So tha privilege of time is intrinsically connected ta tha privilege of wealth. Well shiiiit, it connects even mo' so when you consider dat one of mah thugs (like fuckin mah dirty ass) dropped enough scrilla ta feed theyselves fo' a week or two ($50 or more) ta git flipped off continuously by sword-wieldin skeletons n' weirdly tall pimps up in trench coats carryin scythes.

But I be thinkin da most thugged-out problematic part of dis type of game is tha part dat feedz tha fuck into tha ego of tha gamin hood. I personally did not like Dark Souls yo, but I did not admit it ta mah dirty ass until two muthafuckin years afta I stopped playin it, specifically when I gave up on playin Bloodborne. I be thinkin a big-ass part of dis was cuz of mah ego as a gamer n' shit. I am, as you may have guessed, like all bout tha ghetto of vizzle games. I be pretty phat at them, n' thus mah continuous failures up in Dark Souls straight-up aggravated mah ego. I made up excuses, n' while they was valid, they was not entirely fair fo' realz. Although I holla'd at mah dirty ass I did not have tha time ta dedicate ta Dark Souls, I apparently always had space up in mah busy schedule as a liberal arts hustla ta replay BioShock fo' tha umpteenth time.

I kicked it wit a shitload of playas whoz ass talked bout how tha fuck much they loved these game n' I’ve received snapchats from acquaintances playin these game wit straight-up positizzle captions. I couldn’t KNOW it��"until I realized dat these gamers is from privilege whoz ass is hustlas or recent graduates, which means there be a cold-ass lil certain level of free time n' financial support at they disposal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. That aint ta say dat they is shitty playas yo, but up in mah experience, it attracts a cold-ass lil certain subset of playas whoz ass have tha resources n' a urge ta prove theyselves up in a ghetto dat aint gots tha same sense of security, economically n' otherwise, dat it once did when we was up in tha safety of tha ejaculationizzle syste