I was laying down on my bed. I closed my eyes and it felt like I was on a swing set. I could envision rocking back and forth and I almost sort of felt like I was. I tried to stop thinking. My mind took me back every time. Every time you think about not thinking it would take you away from the serenity of the lack of conscious connections. The thoughts of the world take you further away from your own consciousness. The thoughts sort of drain away. Imagining my own make believe music in my head could disconnect me even further. I may have been laying on my bed for a couple hours. I could only imagine maybe one or two notes at a time with a drum beat, but very complex patterns.

When the consciousness is broken and you come back to reality you realize that the world and sensory stimuli takes control. It seems as though the mind is dominated by the senses and to transcend the senses is almost completely futile. It requires disconnecting from the world around you to feel your inner self on a deeper more visceral level. I feel that thoughts are actually the things that enslave us as human beings. I don't know why consciousness can't be free and why thoughts and ideas have to keep us from the mind. I often think about what it would be like if the world just melted, if reality just melted, if I my thoughts mixed together with the fabric of time and space and the consciousness dematerialized from the body. A sort of celestial pool of consciousness and time.

I think that it's interesting to think of the mind and time as sort of a separate thing, when I do know that they are locked together. I like to think of the mind and body as one. When the mind stops processing senses you lose your own being. I was thinking about how fragile the nature of time and body are when I was masturbating right after I woke up. I woke up from my sort of trance like state and I walked around my room I was sort of woosy and all of a sudden I started thinking of cute boys. I got a sort of erection so I pulled out the lubrication and started masturbating. Then I realized that there wasn't really much warm blood rushing to my penis. It was more of a cold boner which was probably a result of the end of a REM cycle. The cycle your mind goes through when you sleep, which often results in morning wood.

The body is completely dependent on the very gravity of the universe. The very molecules you are made up of are connected to the stars. Down to a microscopic level everything, including logic breaks down. I try to imagine what is happening inside of my mind and I just don't know. It is just darkness and it is sort of like the paradigm between thinking about your mind and just letting it work. Everything is sort of kaleidoscopic and backwards. It is not a fun experience at all. I just go around every single day feeling like my mind is completely warped and shocked, overloaded with the senses of the universe. I urn for a disconnect from all these feelings so all of my emotions could form their own separate ways, and not turn into radio static. The mind is like a fine tuned machine and yet we all treat it like it is nothing more than a person... the greatest of all things you can imagine, a person, is treated with less gentleness than a precious iPhone... the pinnacle of modern day living.

TLDR.

bump

Been through those thoughts already. Ever tried meditation?

I hate meditation.

Everyone knows you're trolling, bro. Time to leave and return on a different alt.

Been through those thoughts already. Ever tried meditation?

Its pretty cool / 11