Why don't you care what people think about you?

Turkey · June 28, 2017, 08:59:44 PM

Quote from: Loaf on June 28, 2017, 08:51:18 PM

Just because it's uncomfortable for me doesn't mean that I don't realize how big of a sham talking to people through text is.

How can online communication be inferior if it's what allows you to truly express your personality? You're not being a sham, you're just being more you.

Loaf · June 28, 2017, 09:06:11 PM

Quote from: WarTurkey on June 28, 2017, 08:59:44 PM

Quote from: Loaf on June 28, 2017, 08:51:18 PM
Just because it's uncomfortable for me doesn't mean that I don't realize how big of a sham talking to people through text is.

How can online communication be inferior if it's what allows you to truly express your personality? You're not being a sham, you're just being more you.

The way that people talk to each other online is in no way how people would authentically talk to people irl. For instance, people online are often way meaner to someone online than they would be face to face. The reason that talking to people online is less authentic, is because it lacks an extreme amount of the personal element. Like I said before, you're not actually responding to a person through the majority of common means of communication. You're just responding to people through their words, so the stuff that you say to them through words may be unfiltered, but it's not really speaking human to human. It's speaking to, perhaps, an imagination of what you feel the other person would be.

Verbatim · June 28, 2017, 09:08:20 PM

Quote from: Loaf on June 28, 2017, 08:51:18 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on June 28, 2017, 08:41:24 PM
Quote from: Loaf on June 28, 2017, 08:38:59 PM
online interaction isn't real interaction.
how not
It's really not. You're only getting like 10% of the information that you could be getting through someone's tone of voice, their facial expression, the way they gesture their body, etc.

and why are these important things for something to be considered "real" interaction

Quote

Here's the thing. When you're reading someone's writing through text, you don't really know a person.

i know my internet friends more than i know my in-person friends, and my in-person friends only become more difficult to communicate with as the years go by

honestly, i'm beginning to think that online interaction is not only real, but it's perhaps the only valid form of interaction, because it enables people to be truly honest and open about themselves without fearing repercussion

they can choose to troll and bullshit as well, but people do the same exact shit in-person

i will seriously never understand this shitty, out-of-touch mentality

Verbatim · June 28, 2017, 09:12:00 PM

Quote from: Loaf on June 28, 2017, 09:06:11 PM

The way that people talk to each other online is in no way how people would authentically talk to people irl.

but that's precisely what makes it more authentic

anonymity, and even semi-anonymity, tends to cause people to show their true colors

if you're the kind of person who fakes and trolls online, then that in itself is a true color—that you're a dishonest shithead

Super Irish · June 28, 2017, 09:13:57 PM

I'm having trouble answering this question, I've written a few paragraphs or so and then hit a conflict with my own thoughts and scrap the whole thing. I've also been awake for a bit too long, so that's definitely not helping.

I don't care about the opinions of me from people I don't care about. I couldn't give a rat's arse what some bully from school thought of me at the time because he was an arsehole, but I care what my parents think of me because ultimately I have to interact with them a lot, and being in disrepute in the eyes of people who've never wronged me would make it hard to bear.

Loaf · June 28, 2017, 09:24:27 PM

I don't actually want to debate this.

Verbatim · June 28, 2017, 09:25:16 PM

Quote from: Loaf on June 28, 2017, 09:24:27 PM

I don't actually want to debate this.

smart

Loaf · June 28, 2017, 09:28:14 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on June 28, 2017, 09:25:16 PM

Quote from: Loaf on June 28, 2017, 09:24:27 PM
I don't actually want to debate this.
smart

ಠ_ಠ

Ian · June 28, 2017, 09:29:03 PM

I do care about what others think of me. I'm positive that my problem is I care a little too much.

Verbatim · June 28, 2017, 09:31:39 PM

Quote from: Ian on June 28, 2017, 09:29:03 PM

I do care about what others think of me. I'm positive that my problem is I care a little too much.

good answer

Unlike what seems to be most of the human race, I actually think it's not only good, but important for people to care what people think of them—but I suppose I could concede that it's possible to care too much.

maverick · June 28, 2017, 09:46:04 PM

It's important not to conflate your image with someone's opinion. Do I want to look weak or stupid to anyone? No. But I don't really care what other people personally think of me. At this point I'm pretty proud of who I am and I think I have a good personality so if for whatever reason someone decides they dislike me, I'm not going to fret over it.

Aether · June 28, 2017, 10:28:14 PM

I only care about what certain people think about me and that's because there is a practical reason for them to like me.

Verbatim · June 28, 2017, 10:29:56 PM

Quote from: Aether on June 28, 2017, 10:28:14 PM

I only care about what certain people think about me and that's because there is a practical reason for them to like me.

That's pretty gross.

TB · June 28, 2017, 10:33:22 PM

I do, probably too much.

Aether · June 28, 2017, 10:35:36 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on June 28, 2017, 10:29:56 PM

Quote from: Aether on June 28, 2017, 10:28:14 PM
I only care about what certain people think about me and that's because there is a practical reason for them to like me.
That's pretty gross.

Well maybe that statement is a tiny bit disingenuous. It excludes family and close friends, and mainly refers to strangers. It's not until I get to know someone a lot better that I start to be concerned with how they think of me.

snee0rp · June 28, 2017, 10:37:16 PM

Social interaction is a botnet.

Casper · June 28, 2017, 11:02:21 PM

I don't really care what other people think of me, so long as I'm presenting myself the way I want to be presented. The two don't always come across as one in the same, like how I sound like I have an attitude when in reality it's just my faggy inflection. I'm not sure if I made sense

🍁 Aria 🔮 · June 28, 2017, 11:20:19 PM

I care too much what people think of me and I get really stressed out about it, so trying to not care what people think of me is the only real fix for that.

Verbatim · June 28, 2017, 11:25:54 PM

Quote from: Aria on June 28, 2017, 11:20:19 PM

I care too much what people think of me and I get really stressed out about it, so trying to not care what people think of me is the only real fix for that.

Lately I'm beginning to discover that stress is not only unavoidable, but an overall good motivator. At least, for me.

🍁 Aria 🔮 · June 28, 2017, 11:26:47 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on June 28, 2017, 11:25:54 PM

Quote from: Aria on June 28, 2017, 11:20:19 PM
I care too much what people think of me and I get really stressed out about it, so trying to not care what people think of me is the only real fix for that.
Lately I'm beginning to discover that stress is not only unavoidable, but an overall good motivator. At least, for me.

Not for me. It makes me want to stay in bed all day.

Verbatim · June 28, 2017, 11:29:41 PM

Quote from: Aria on June 28, 2017, 11:26:47 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on June 28, 2017, 11:25:54 PM
Quote from: Aria on June 28, 2017, 11:20:19 PM
I care too much what people think of me and I get really stressed out about it, so trying to not care what people think of me is the only real fix for that.
Lately I'm beginning to discover that stress is not only unavoidable, but an overall good motivator. At least, for me.
Not for me. It makes me want to stay in bed all day.

Me too, but I guess I mean that I'm learning to take control of it.

Luciana · June 29, 2017, 02:42:39 AM

It's not a bad thing. It's if you take it to the extreme in either direction that it's bad (like most things in life). If you're so worried about what others think of you that it makes you socially inept, or so paranoid you really can't be yourself and you feel you have to change who you are as a person around them, you have a problem. If you don't give a fuck at all and just do whatever without any self reflection, then you're also equally as bad.

I'd say the friends are the only people I'd worry about, but sometimes it does take an outside perspective to see a part of you that you wouldn't. I find the whole "they don't know me well enough anyway" to sort of be a safety net so your feelings don't get hurt. First impressions are a huuuuge deal, regardless of who it is.

And side notes:

1. If a group of people say you're a dick, it's not you who can dictate if that is true or not. You don't get to decide that. If enough people are saying it, odds are it is probably true. Using the thin line of "they don't even know me" is shit, because odds are they'll not want to get to know you anyway because of how unapproachable you are as a human being. If you had an off day and go to apologize if you'll run into them again, that is probably signalling you're a decent person. If you just brush it off and go "eh they don't know me" or "nah I ain't seeing em again", odds are you're a pretty dickish person.

2. Being kind to people in general, be they strangers or friends, unless warranted otherwise, is usually the right path to go on

Luciana · June 29, 2017, 03:23:59 AM

Quote from: Loaf on June 28, 2017, 08:51:18 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on June 28, 2017, 08:41:24 PM
Quote from: Loaf on June 28, 2017, 08:38:59 PM
online interaction isn't real interaction.
how not
It's really not. You're only getting like 10% of the information that you could be getting through someone's tone of voice, their facial expression, the way they gesture their body, etc. It's actually sort of sad and telling of the current generation we live in, that people growing up today seem to see no difference in talking to people in person and talking to people in text. I actually prefer talking to people in groups of 3 in a video chat, but talking to people in person is a bit uncomfortable for me, ironically. Just because it's uncomfortable for me doesn't mean that I don't realize how big of a sham talking to people through text is.

Here's the thing. When you're reading someone's writing through text, you don't really know a person. It's also impossible to tell what someone means sometimes if they're not using an inflection in their voice that you would hear. For example, sometimes it's impossible to tell sarcasm through text. Text is bullshit and you're retarded if you still disagree.

Couldn't you dispel this entire argument by talking to people over voice chat every day and forging friendships over that? I've known my pair of friends since 2011, and have chatted basically every day for the last 3 years. Going to visit another friend of mine in Maryland next summer probably and we talk very often and text.

I agree just over the text thing, but everything else I have to disagree with. Sharing pictures, talking about your lives, etc. That's basically Facebook but not, and I don't see anyone there saying you're not really keeping in touch or knowing your friends.

Verbatim · June 29, 2017, 03:37:41 AM

Quote from: Luciana on June 29, 2017, 03:23:59 AM

Quote from: Loaf on June 28, 2017, 08:51:18 PM
Quote from: Verbatim on June 28, 2017, 08:41:24 PM
Quote from: Loaf on June 28, 2017, 08:38:59 PM
online interaction isn't real interaction.
how not
It's really not. You're only getting like 10% of the information that you could be getting through someone's tone of voice, their facial expression, the way they gesture their body, etc. It's actually sort of sad and telling of the current generation we live in, that people growing up today seem to see no difference in talking to people in person and talking to people in text. I actually prefer talking to people in groups of 3 in a video chat, but talking to people in person is a bit uncomfortable for me, ironically. Just because it's uncomfortable for me doesn't mean that I don't realize how big of a sham talking to people through text is.

Here's the thing. When you're reading someone's writing through text, you don't really know a person. It's also impossible to tell what someone means sometimes if they're not using an inflection in their voice that you would hear. For example, sometimes it's impossible to tell sarcasm through text. Text is bullshit and you're retarded if you still disagree.
Couldn't you dispel this entire argument by talking to people over voice chat every day and forging friendships over that? I've known my pair of friends since 2011, and have chatted basically every day for the last 3 years. Going to visit another friend of mine in Maryland next summer probably and we talk very often and text.

I agree just over the text thing, but everything else I have to disagree with. Sharing pictures, talking about your lives, etc. That's basically Facebook but not, and I don't see anyone there saying you're not really keeping in touch or knowing your friends.

That's a great point too. The whole reason I did those AMA videos is so I could add a human element to my posting, and people have told me that their whole perceptions of me have completely changed after they watched them. So if the text thing really is such a block for people, there's honestly so many other ways to forge friendships online, and it's an incredible outlet for anyone with social anxiety to actually feel like they belong in a community. Who gives a fuck if it's virtual? Bigots.

Verbatim · June 29, 2017, 03:41:06 AM

Even "virtual" is the wrong word, because that implies it isn't real.

This is real.

The Internet is real.

People on the Internet are real, and you can have real friendships with them. Or not.

It's whatever, though. That grandma mentality is gonna die out very fast, very soon.

Dietrich Six · June 29, 2017, 03:13:18 PM

The thing with wanting to please most people is that it just isn't possible. I like to think I'm a pretty laid back and decent person so I try to present myself that way every day. Unfortunately there are going to be people who dislike me for shallow reasons (appearance, mannerisms they don't like, any number of perceived faults) and it's honestly not worth the time worrying about it.

I knew I girl in high school who absolutely hated me even though we'd only met/talked one or two times. I was told through a third party and when I asked why they didn't have a reason. It killed me not knowing why she would hate me so much so I asked her.

There was no reason, a multitude of perceived faults irked her and she just wouldn't have it any other way. I tried explaining how I wasn't like that and basically wasted my time trying to convince a girl I barely knew that I wasn't an asshole and that I was a good person.

It's not worth the effort on your part to care what everyone thinks about you. That doesn't mean you can be an asshole to strangers, it just means that if a stranger thinks you're an asshole it's not worth the time trying to change their perception of you.