Lost my great-grandparents over ten years ago. I was sad but tried not to think about it so it didn't hit me hard. Only as an adult did it really hit me as I thought back to the time I spent with them as a child.In 2017 my last great-grandmother died and that made me feel guilty. I didn't really give her the attention a grandchild should have. My grandmother (her daughter) took her passing very hard. Went into depression and I did the only thing I could and brought her over to Ireland.Once again, no real grieving as such. I was too busy trying to get my granny back to normal.I dread the day when my mom's parents will pass. I grew up with them while mom was abroad working full time. It will suck, I don't even want to think about it.
Quote from: FatherlyNick on July 12, 2018, 05:41:19 PMLost my great-grandparents over ten years ago. I was sad but tried not to think about it so it didn't hit me hard. Only as an adult did it really hit me as I thought back to the time I spent with them as a child.In 2017 my last great-grandmother died and that made me feel guilty. I didn't really give her the attention a grandchild should have. My grandmother (her daughter) took her passing very hard. Went into depression and I did the only thing I could and brought her over to Ireland.Once again, no real grieving as such. I was too busy trying to get my granny back to normal.I dread the day when my mom's parents will pass. I grew up with them while mom was abroad working full time. It will suck, I don't even want to think about it.Even of you didn't really "grieve" per se, how did you come to terms? I've recently found that it's pretty easy to understand it logically, but a week out and I just can't "really" feel it. Outside of the night that it happened and the funeral, I haven't cried or really felt anything.
What kind of relationship did you have with the deceased? How much did you care for that person? Also I think you'll feel it once you notice the person's gone. Those nights when you just feel a sudden emptiness 'cause that person isn't there anymore.
Quote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:20:47 PMWhat kind of relationship did you have with the deceased? How much did you care for that person? Also I think you'll feel it once you notice the person's gone. Those nights when you just feel a sudden emptiness 'cause that person isn't there anymore.Cousin. He was the same age as me, and I grew up with him. A few years ago I moved 250~ miles away from him. His birthday is next month. If it hasn't hit yet by then, it will that day.
Quote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:25:00 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:20:47 PMWhat kind of relationship did you have with the deceased? How much did you care for that person? Also I think you'll feel it once you notice the person's gone. Those nights when you just feel a sudden emptiness 'cause that person isn't there anymore.Cousin. He was the same age as me, and I grew up with him. A few years ago I moved 250~ miles away from him. His birthday is next month. If it hasn't hit yet by then, it will that day.Do you think your psyche has numbed you, or do you think there's an absence of sadness?
Quote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:32:32 PMQuote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:25:00 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:20:47 PMWhat kind of relationship did you have with the deceased? How much did you care for that person? Also I think you'll feel it once you notice the person's gone. Those nights when you just feel a sudden emptiness 'cause that person isn't there anymore.Cousin. He was the same age as me, and I grew up with him. A few years ago I moved 250~ miles away from him. His birthday is next month. If it hasn't hit yet by then, it will that day.Do you think your psyche has numbed you, or do you think there's an absence of sadness?I honestly don't know. I'm not sure if I'm subconsciously obfuscating the fact that he's gone or if I feel nothing. Accordingly, I can't tell if I'm sad that he's gone or sad that I don't feel anything from his passing.
Quote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:35:38 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:32:32 PMQuote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:25:00 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:20:47 PMWhat kind of relationship did you have with the deceased? How much did you care for that person? Also I think you'll feel it once you notice the person's gone. Those nights when you just feel a sudden emptiness 'cause that person isn't there anymore.Cousin. He was the same age as me, and I grew up with him. A few years ago I moved 250~ miles away from him. His birthday is next month. If it hasn't hit yet by then, it will that day.Do you think your psyche has numbed you, or do you think there's an absence of sadness?I honestly don't know. I'm not sure if I'm subconsciously obfuscating the fact that he's gone or if I feel nothing. Accordingly, I can't tell if I'm sad that he's gone or sad that I don't feel anything from his passing.Yeah I understand that. It's worth exploring your feelings. If you don't mind, I'll help you with questions. If you don't want to answer them here, then we can do it in the dms or you can just not give me an answer. The first question is, how was your relationship with this person? Think about it in depth. How much did they mean to you when you grew up together, how much after?
Quote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:39:50 PMQuote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:35:38 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:32:32 PMQuote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:25:00 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:20:47 PMWhat kind of relationship did you have with the deceased? How much did you care for that person? Also I think you'll feel it once you notice the person's gone. Those nights when you just feel a sudden emptiness 'cause that person isn't there anymore.Cousin. He was the same age as me, and I grew up with him. A few years ago I moved 250~ miles away from him. His birthday is next month. If it hasn't hit yet by then, it will that day.Do you think your psyche has numbed you, or do you think there's an absence of sadness?I honestly don't know. I'm not sure if I'm subconsciously obfuscating the fact that he's gone or if I feel nothing. Accordingly, I can't tell if I'm sad that he's gone or sad that I don't feel anything from his passing.Yeah I understand that. It's worth exploring your feelings. If you don't mind, I'll help you with questions. If you don't want to answer them here, then we can do it in the dms or you can just not give me an answer. The first question is, how was your relationship with this person? Think about it in depth. How much did they mean to you when you grew up together, how much after?Good, but he had a good relationship with everyone. Kind of person who would cancel plans to fix your tire, or spend a night with someone who was feeling lost, or fix the lighting in a restaurant because the manager is his friend. He sold out his funeral; people had to park in the grass and around the curb because there wasn't enough parking. Hundreds, and hundreds, and hundreds of people attended.I've never been the smartest person (specifically in my family). He was always a comforting presence. Imagine an Andy Dwyer character, but redneck. He gave me the courage to do a lot of things. And now he's gone.
Quote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:48:58 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:39:50 PMQuote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:35:38 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:32:32 PMQuote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:25:00 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:20:47 PMWhat kind of relationship did you have with the deceased? How much did you care for that person? Also I think you'll feel it once you notice the person's gone. Those nights when you just feel a sudden emptiness 'cause that person isn't there anymore.Cousin. He was the same age as me, and I grew up with him. A few years ago I moved 250~ miles away from him. His birthday is next month. If it hasn't hit yet by then, it will that day.Do you think your psyche has numbed you, or do you think there's an absence of sadness?I honestly don't know. I'm not sure if I'm subconsciously obfuscating the fact that he's gone or if I feel nothing. Accordingly, I can't tell if I'm sad that he's gone or sad that I don't feel anything from his passing.Yeah I understand that. It's worth exploring your feelings. If you don't mind, I'll help you with questions. If you don't want to answer them here, then we can do it in the dms or you can just not give me an answer. The first question is, how was your relationship with this person? Think about it in depth. How much did they mean to you when you grew up together, how much after?Good, but he had a good relationship with everyone. Kind of person who would cancel plans to fix your tire, or spend a night with someone who was feeling lost, or fix the lighting in a restaurant because the manager is his friend. He sold out his funeral; people had to park in the grass and around the curb because there wasn't enough parking. Hundreds, and hundreds, and hundreds of people attended.I've never been the smartest person (specifically in my family). He was always a comforting presence. Imagine an Andy Dwyer character, but redneck. He gave me the courage to do a lot of things. And now he's gone.He gave you the courage to do a lot of things?
Quote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:57:12 PMQuote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:48:58 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:39:50 PMQuote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:35:38 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:32:32 PMQuote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:25:00 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:20:47 PMWhat kind of relationship did you have with the deceased? How much did you care for that person? Also I think you'll feel it once you notice the person's gone. Those nights when you just feel a sudden emptiness 'cause that person isn't there anymore.Cousin. He was the same age as me, and I grew up with him. A few years ago I moved 250~ miles away from him. His birthday is next month. If it hasn't hit yet by then, it will that day.Do you think your psyche has numbed you, or do you think there's an absence of sadness?I honestly don't know. I'm not sure if I'm subconsciously obfuscating the fact that he's gone or if I feel nothing. Accordingly, I can't tell if I'm sad that he's gone or sad that I don't feel anything from his passing.Yeah I understand that. It's worth exploring your feelings. If you don't mind, I'll help you with questions. If you don't want to answer them here, then we can do it in the dms or you can just not give me an answer. The first question is, how was your relationship with this person? Think about it in depth. How much did they mean to you when you grew up together, how much after?Good, but he had a good relationship with everyone. Kind of person who would cancel plans to fix your tire, or spend a night with someone who was feeling lost, or fix the lighting in a restaurant because the manager is his friend. He sold out his funeral; people had to park in the grass and around the curb because there wasn't enough parking. Hundreds, and hundreds, and hundreds of people attended.I've never been the smartest person (specifically in my family). He was always a comforting presence. Imagine an Andy Dwyer character, but redneck. He gave me the courage to do a lot of things. And now he's gone.He gave you the courage to do a lot of things?Believe in my self. Take some chances. That sort of stuff.
Quote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:58:38 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:57:12 PMQuote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:48:58 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:39:50 PMQuote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:35:38 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:32:32 PMQuote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:25:00 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:20:47 PMWhat kind of relationship did you have with the deceased? How much did you care for that person? Also I think you'll feel it once you notice the person's gone. Those nights when you just feel a sudden emptiness 'cause that person isn't there anymore.Cousin. He was the same age as me, and I grew up with him. A few years ago I moved 250~ miles away from him. His birthday is next month. If it hasn't hit yet by then, it will that day.Do you think your psyche has numbed you, or do you think there's an absence of sadness?I honestly don't know. I'm not sure if I'm subconsciously obfuscating the fact that he's gone or if I feel nothing. Accordingly, I can't tell if I'm sad that he's gone or sad that I don't feel anything from his passing.Yeah I understand that. It's worth exploring your feelings. If you don't mind, I'll help you with questions. If you don't want to answer them here, then we can do it in the dms or you can just not give me an answer. The first question is, how was your relationship with this person? Think about it in depth. How much did they mean to you when you grew up together, how much after?Good, but he had a good relationship with everyone. Kind of person who would cancel plans to fix your tire, or spend a night with someone who was feeling lost, or fix the lighting in a restaurant because the manager is his friend. He sold out his funeral; people had to park in the grass and around the curb because there wasn't enough parking. Hundreds, and hundreds, and hundreds of people attended.I've never been the smartest person (specifically in my family). He was always a comforting presence. Imagine an Andy Dwyer character, but redneck. He gave me the courage to do a lot of things. And now he's gone.He gave you the courage to do a lot of things?Believe in my self. Take some chances. That sort of stuff.When did he instill these feelings in you? Was it a long time ago or more recent?
Quote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 07:02:31 PMQuote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:58:38 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:57:12 PMQuote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:48:58 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:39:50 PMQuote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:35:38 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:32:32 PMQuote from: Lady on July 12, 2018, 06:25:00 PMQuote from: Desty on July 12, 2018, 06:20:47 PMWhat kind of relationship did you have with the deceased? How much did you care for that person? Also I think you'll feel it once you notice the person's gone. Those nights when you just feel a sudden emptiness 'cause that person isn't there anymore.Cousin. He was the same age as me, and I grew up with him. A few years ago I moved 250~ miles away from him. His birthday is next month. If it hasn't hit yet by then, it will that day.Do you think your psyche has numbed you, or do you think there's an absence of sadness?I honestly don't know. I'm not sure if I'm subconsciously obfuscating the fact that he's gone or if I feel nothing. Accordingly, I can't tell if I'm sad that he's gone or sad that I don't feel anything from his passing.Yeah I understand that. It's worth exploring your feelings. If you don't mind, I'll help you with questions. If you don't want to answer them here, then we can do it in the dms or you can just not give me an answer. The first question is, how was your relationship with this person? Think about it in depth. How much did they mean to you when you grew up together, how much after?Good, but he had a good relationship with everyone. Kind of person who would cancel plans to fix your tire, or spend a night with someone who was feeling lost, or fix the lighting in a restaurant because the manager is his friend. He sold out his funeral; people had to park in the grass and around the curb because there wasn't enough parking. Hundreds, and hundreds, and hundreds of people attended.I've never been the smartest person (specifically in my family). He was always a comforting presence. Imagine an Andy Dwyer character, but redneck. He gave me the courage to do a lot of things. And now he's gone.He gave you the courage to do a lot of things?Believe in my self. Take some chances. That sort of stuff.When did he instill these feelings in you? Was it a long time ago or more recent?As long as I've known him. Regardless of my insecurities, and whether I talked to him about him or not, he exuded an aura of security and confidence. Made you feel like you could do anything.
coupled with the fact that he was obese, drank, and smoked; it's hard to keep a positive view of him. As cruel as it sounds, he essentially brought his death upon himself with his lifestyle.
you're about my age. How far apart were you from your father's age that such things that haven't killed the majority of boomers killed him?