Quote from: Desty on March 23, 2018, 02:51:51 PM

What's she doing now?

something to do with oil fields in north dakota

not exactly the career path i expected her to take, but she was quite adamant about it

something about not having to get a degree, even though she had the chops to do whatever she wanted

Can you give her my number?

Visiting Sep7agon

like, would you like to know if she was into you

Quote from: Desty on March 23, 2018, 03:18:07 PM

like, would you like to know if she was into you

i mean, i'm pretty much past it by now, but i'll humor you

I think she enjoyed your company, but her not showing many expressions and asking you good questions all points to her being courteous. She strikes me as the type of girl who projects her own world onto the real one, and whenever something happens that could drastically change the world, she feels an unease. You didn't fit into her world, you were just a guy who she would practice talking to and learn more about. To her humans are characters in this world of hers.

Her finding a husband means two things probably. The husband is either strongly defined, which makes it easy for her to fit him into her world, or the husband is someone who views her world alongside her.

All of this is why she seemed so distant. She herself was never a character you could define

Ooo I feel all warm and fuzzy now

Quote from: み on March 19, 2018, 02:44:19 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on March 19, 2018, 02:22:05 PM

Quote from: み on March 19, 2018, 02:18:57 PM

Nobody should feel guilty about things they like

wouldn't go that far

I would. Feeling remorse for the things you like means that you don't truly enjoy them.

What if you like murdering people?

Then you shouldn't feel remorse for it. Otherwise, you don't really like murdering people.

Quote from: み on March 23, 2018, 05:01:27 PM

Quote from: Aether on March 23, 2018, 04:42:47 PM

Quote from: み on March 19, 2018, 02:44:19 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on March 19, 2018, 02:22:05 PM

Quote from: み on March 19, 2018, 02:18:57 PM

Nobody should feel guilty about things they like

wouldn't go that far

I would. Feeling remorse for the things you like means that you don't truly enjoy them.

What if you like murdering people?

Then you shouldn't feel remorse for it. Otherwise, you don't really like murdering people.

would you draw a distinction between what you want, and what you're biologically wired to want

maybe you really wanted to kill someone, but since humans are biologically hardwired to NOT want to kill each other, the remorse is almost inevitable—but not necessarily how "you" really feel, if you fully detached yourself from your instincts

I'd call that shame rather than regret; shame that you let one half of your biology overpower the other and do something you didn't want to happen.

One semester I had to take a bus to get to the secondary campus that a few of my classes were held at. I didn't get out until late at night and most of the students either lived near the secondary campus or drove there themselves, so I often found myself alone at the bus stop, which suited me just fine. It was a little isolated area for me to unwind in at the end of the day.

Which made it rather annoying when a couple of drunk girls sat down next to me and insisted on talking to me. Since I'm such a charismatic badass, I responded with one or two words at a time and awkwardly tried to make it clear I didn't feel like talking. Apparently I didn't pull it off, because they kept chatting with me after we got on the bus.

About ten minutes later I got up to leave when one of them asked me if I wanted to hang out with them at their apartment, which should have alarmed me more than it did. I declined partially since I still had work to do when I got back to my dorm, but mostly just because it didn't really register what the weird drunk girls asking me if I want to hang out at their apartment late at night were implying.

I mean probably nothing would have happened even if I had understood and accepted, but I still felt clueless and got lambasted by my friends for it. I give myself points for having my priorities straight though.

i never learned how to drive in high school, but my house was within a 10-minute walking distance anyway, so it wasn't really a big deal at the time—michigan weather wasn't always kind to me, though, so if i wasn't trudging through 10 inches of snow, i was probably freezing to death from the wind chill (and i was too cool to wear boots, snowpants, or a decent jacket)

i was also hyper introverted during my freshman and sophomore years, and the only friends i had were the friends i've always had since elementary school

i started coming out of my shell a little during junior year, though, and by senior year, it felt like i had made friends, or at least acquaintances, with almost everyone in my class, which was great (then that all came crashing down as soon as i graduated but hey, whatever, senior year is the happiest i remember being in the past four years)

that said, i was never great with girls, but only because i never really tried—so by the time i finally decided to ask someone out during senior year, i wasn't well-practiced at all and i still cringe about it to this day

i had a crush on this girl who i met in middle school—she was very quiet and to herself (like me), was a really good student (unlike me), and very pretty in a demure debutante kind of way (a rarity for girls of her disposition), and though she wasn't quite the salutatorian, she was definitely in the discussion

she was really really sweet, too—just the nicest girl you'd ever meet—but she also had this reputation of rejecting every guy who's ever asked her out, and anyone who ever ever tried was lambasted by everyone else for even thinking to corrupt such a pure, pristine, innocent girl

i never ever spoke to her in middle school, we only became somewhat acquainted in high school—we had a couple classes where we sat near each other, exchanging thoughts here and there, that type of thing, never a lengthy conversation

at some point during senior year, though, she got her license—and she would occasionally spot me on my way home from class, and for whatever reason, she just started offering me rides home

i would always accept, obviously, even though it made me incredibly anxious—this is a girl i've been crushing on for years, after all—but it would be very silly for me not to take her up

she would do this rather frequently, and sometimes she'd even drive me to school—i would never ask her, but she would always offer—and we'd always have a pretty good conversation on the way home, where i discovered that, while we may not be interested in a lot of the same things, she seemed genuinely interested in what i had to say, which i can tell, because she asked a lot of good questions

even though i liked and appreciated it, it still fucked with my head, because i couldn't tell if she was just doing it out of the kindness of her heart, or because was she into me, and this was her way of letting me know about it (because she never rode with anyone else)

eventually, i guess the hormonal horndog within me decided it very well may have been the latter—so, after taking me home one night for what must have been the fifth or sixth time, i made a snap decision to ask her out right then and there—but i've never asked anyone out before, and my anxiety through the roof, so i wound up fumbling the execution pretty badly

the way it played out was, she stopped at my door, we said our goodbyes, and i stepped out of the car—but then suddenly, i turned back around before closing the door, poked my head back in for a second, and i either said "uh, hey" or "uh, wait"

she looked at me again, and then i asked her something like, "do you think we could go out some time"

i didn't stutter, i said it confidently, but i instantly felt an explosion of regret well up inside my stomach as i braced myself for her response

the expression on her face was hard to read—she wasn't a very expressive person in general, so i honestly couldn't get a read on her reaction at all—but either way, she gave me a "hmm... maybe!" and drove off

i think "hmm, maybe, we'll see" was her exact response

which of course means "no"
which means she really was just trying to be nice the whole time

so that might be the cringiest thing i've ever done, because it was such a pitiful attempt, but i'm able to defend it because i GENUINELY felt that she was into me, because she was giving me every single indication

she was the only girl who ever shown me any interest whatsoever, and out of them all, she was my crush—so i felt like i had to seize the opportunity

so yeah, cringe—but no ragrats at the same time

another thing—we invited each other to our graduation parties that year, and i went to hers, but she didn't show up to mine—but the very next day, i receive a LONG facebook message from her, apologizing for not being there, and that she just couldn't make it, but she's so sorry, and all this stuff

so i dunno man, maybe she did like me after all, but was just as awkward as me about it, who knows

not that any of it matters now, she moved to the south and got married there last year

Dude. That's deep.

I'm sorry that things didn't work out man. You know, I don't think you and I are too different from each other. You at least have the balls to ask a girl out in real life.

Me? My social life pretty much died when I was 16 due to years of bullying and friends only using me because of the video games I had rather than treating me like a real friend. Its why I've turned to Bungie.net and the internet ever since then.

And now its rather socially fucked me over as an adult to an extent. Its also why I come to this B.old clone forum. To escape the reality I live in.

Despite having a full time job, things recently haven't been too well for me as of late, and when things don't go well for me, I tend to post here a lot more.

So, I know that feel man. Liking someone only for them to not even like you back. Or sending you mixed signals just to fuck with you.

I know you normally dislike me, and normally I wouldn't even give a second thought to what you have to say, but this really was a touching story. I mean that.

I may act retarded, but I do have a big heart. Again, I know that feel man. I know that feel. I at least hope you're content now.

Cringiest thing I've done is I CAN'T FIND MY PHONE CHARGER and it's time to go work