The search for anime that isn't complete and utter dogshit

 
Verbatim
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Getting some movies out of the way:

Colorful (Sunrise, 2010, Keiichi Hara) I think this film has a lovely message, even if it's a little heavy-handed and the twist itself was highly predictable. That said, it's also low on the tropes and typical standard anime fare that we're all so sick of, and actually gives a pretty palpable insight into the high-pressure environments that some Japanese youths go through during school. It's actually kind of insane. Despite this, for a movie that's called "Colorful," I was disappointed to discover just how bland and washed-out the entire film is. It's actually pretty dull and grey. Is it meant to be symbolic, or ironic in some way? Whatever the case may be, I was expecting a visual feast based on the title alone, but all I got was an eyesore. Kind of a disappointment, and that alone drops for me what would've been a rare positive rating. Oh well. I'd still probably recommend it, though. 5/10

Howl's Moving Castle (Studio Ghibli, 2004, Hayao Miyazaki) Just checking off some more Miyazaki off the list. Nothing much to say—it's a Ghibli film. You'll probably enjoy it. 5/10

Wolf Children (Studio Chizu, 2012, Mamora Hosoda) Retarded. Annoying. Stupid premise. Dumb as shit. Waste of time. Anime. 4/10


 
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91 Days (Shuka, 2016, completed) As much as I want to shit on this show for trying to dip its toes in one of my favorite film genres, I can't really say anything that bad about it. I felt the same way about Baccano!, and while this show is very different from Baccano!, there is a common gripe that I have between the two—it's just kind of average and forgettable, and it makes me wish I was watching the films it was obviously inspired by instead. Films that essentially do the same thing, but better. What does this show offer that Reservoir Dogs, Goodfellas, Road to Perdition, or pretty much any other gangster movie doesn't? Trite themes, cinematography, and slender, effeminate men? Yeah, I'll pass. I'm pretty tired of revenge plots as it is, and this certainly didn't help matters. 4/10

Death Note (Madhouse, 2006, completed) Not gonna lie—if this show ended at episode 25 (and you weebs should know which one I'm talking about), I would've given this a positive rating, easily. I was actually enjoying myself for the first half. It has a really clever and captivating story at first, with lots of really cool and unique yet oddly sympathetic characters, but after that ONE episode, things start to get REALLY fucking retarded really fast. Obviously I've known about this show for ages, and I honestly think it has the coolest and most interesting premise of all time when it comes to anime (even if it's a little Hot Topic)—but even that can't save it from the typical anime trappings that drown it to death by the show's end, and I'm glad to hear that, among weebs, I'm not alone when it comes to feeling this way—so I highly doubt my thoughts are really going to upset anybody. 5/10

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (Bones, 2009, ten episodes) I don't know if I can handle fifty-four more episodes of this shit. I kinda wish I started watching the original series first. It seems... better. 4/10

Attack on Titan (Wit, 2013, three episodes) Hands down BEST pilot episode for a shonen anime. The steep drop-off in terms of quality after this fucking amazing first episode are why I dropped the show early, but yeah. The first episode is really all you need to see. It's a pretty good metaphor for how I feel about life in general, but it turns into stereotypical trope-y shonen schlock real quick. Not unexpected, but still a shame. 5/10

5 Centimeters per Second (CoMix Wave, 2007, Makoto Shinkai) 3/10

Death Note is in my top 5 now, kicking off Pokémon.


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Death Note (Madhouse, 2006, completed) Not gonna lie—if this show ended at episode 25 (and you weebs should know which one I'm talking about), I would've given this a positive rating, easily. I was actually enjoying myself for the first half. It has a really clever and captivating story at first, with lots of really cool and unique yet oddly sympathetic characters, but after that ONE episode, things start to get REALLY fucking retarded really fast. Obviously I've known about this show for ages, and I honestly think it has the coolest and most interesting premise of all time when it comes to anime (even if it's a little Hot Topic)—but even that can't save it from the typical anime trappings that drown it to death by the show's end, and I'm glad to hear that, among weebs, I'm not alone when it comes to feeling this way—so I highly doubt my thoughts are really going to upset anybody. 5/10

Verb preaching the truth once again



 
Verbatim
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gonna try to watch lupin, psycho pass, FLCL, one punch man, and haruhi next


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The REAL Verbatim would never call his own opinions "shitty".

Where is he?


 
Hahahaha very funny Zonda
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His eyebrows sparkling, his white beard hangs down to his chest. The thatched mats, spread outside his chise, spread softly, his splendid attos. He polishes, cross-legged, his makiri, with his eyes completely absorbed.

He is Ainu.

The god of Ainu Mosir, Ae-Oine Kamuy, descendant of Okiku-Rumi, He perishes, a living corpse. The summers day, the white sunlight, unabrushed, ends simply through his breath alone.
You should add Tiger & Bunny to the list. I'm rewatching it rn, and I can't believe that I forgot how good it was.


 
Verbatim
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You should add Tiger & Bunny to the list. I'm rewatching it rn, and I can't believe that I forgot how good it was.
#1 highest ranking anime according to japan, apparently

i'm sure it's just great


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His eyebrows sparkling, his white beard hangs down to his chest. The thatched mats, spread outside his chise, spread softly, his splendid attos. He polishes, cross-legged, his makiri, with his eyes completely absorbed.

He is Ainu.

The god of Ainu Mosir, Ae-Oine Kamuy, descendant of Okiku-Rumi, He perishes, a living corpse. The summers day, the white sunlight, unabrushed, ends simply through his breath alone.
You should add Tiger & Bunny to the list. I'm rewatching it rn, and I can't believe that I forgot how good it was.
#1 highest ranking anime according to japan, apparently

i'm sure it's just great
Corporate super heroes (with logos plastered on them like it's Nascar) that have to get good ratings to stay afloat financially. The protagonists are an old-school super hero that relies on instinct and always tries to do well despite it disadvantaging him, and a new, younger hero who is more strategic and thinks about how to propel them forward. It's still got some Japanisms, like most anime, but it's still a fun ride.


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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Yeah, that Death Note ending is a huge disappointment. Maybe it went down differently in the source material, but as soon as those kids come in I can't watch another minute.

I'm surprised by your reaction to FMA:B. It's probably the most similar to American cartoons as your list gets; on its face it almost resembles an American animation with nods to shonen tropes, like in Teen Titans. Its dub is excellent, the animation is great and the story is legitimately original and well-realized. As for the first series, the quality of everything is almost the same, but the story takes a bit of a nosedive when it succeeds the source material. Treat it like filler episodes.


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Yo Verb put all this shit on pause and go watch the Jaden Smith anime on Netfix RIGHT NOW.


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His eyebrows sparkling, his white beard hangs down to his chest. The thatched mats, spread outside his chise, spread softly, his splendid attos. He polishes, cross-legged, his makiri, with his eyes completely absorbed.

He is Ainu.

The god of Ainu Mosir, Ae-Oine Kamuy, descendant of Okiku-Rumi, He perishes, a living corpse. The summers day, the white sunlight, unabrushed, ends simply through his breath alone.
You should add Tiger & Bunny to the list. I'm rewatching it rn, and I can't believe that I forgot how good it was.
#1 highest ranking anime according to japan, apparently

i'm sure it's just great
Corporate super heroes (with logos plastered on them like it's Nascar) that have to get good ratings to stay afloat financially. The protagonists are an old-school super hero that relies on instinct and always tries to do well despite it disadvantaging him, and a new, younger hero who is more strategic and thinks about how to propel them forward. It's still got some Japanisms, like most anime, but it's still a fun ride.
yawn
are you getting sleepy, old man


 
Hahahaha very funny Zonda
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Elai
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What do you guys think of Black Clover? I've been hearing good stuff about it.


 
TB
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#13
I still need to watch the Blade Runner anime episodes they put out.


 
Verbatim
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I still need to watch the Blade Runner anime episodes they put out.
no you don't


 
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#13
I still need to watch the Blade Runner anime episodes they put out.
no you don't
Why not?


 
Elai
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I still need to watch the Blade Runner anime episodes they put out.

They're on Crunchyroll IIRC if you want to use my account (IDK if you have one).


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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#13
I still need to watch the Blade Runner anime episodes they put out.

They're on Crunchyroll IIRC if you want to use my account (IDK if you have one).
Yeah I have access to Crunchyroll.


 
Verbatim
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#13
I still need to watch the Blade Runner anime episodes they put out.
no you don't
Why not?
you don't NEED to
How pedantic. Reply to my post in the sports thread you coward.


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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Hahahaha very funny Zonda
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uhhh...

- korrie


 
Verbatim
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decided to get some toonami shit out of the way

Lupin the Third Part I (Tokyo Movie, 1971, fourteen episodes) - Japanese Hanna-Barbera makes a show for adults in the early '70s and flounders spectacularly. It's not just the extremely dated visuals, or the fact that the animation has aged like an underage alcoholic—it's also very serialized and offers little in terms of plot, and offers no likable characters with a particularly insufferable protagonist. I know it's extremely old, but that doesn't excuse it for me when there are movies and TV shows much older than this that are still worth watching today. It doesn't help that the show's original director for the first batch of episodes was fired (or something), and the new director steered the show in a more family-friendly direction. That's where I had to stop—at that point, I knew I wasn't going to get anything out of this. 3/10

FLCL (Gainax, 2000, completed) This is the perfect show to watch if you ever need to teach someone a lesson in style-over-substance, and why that's not something you ever want. You know things are grim when the best thing about your show is the music (and even that's not as good as people seem to think it is). The plot is too obtuse for its own good, and I'm given very little reason to care about anything that's happening, thanks to the terrible characters (especially Haruko). I understand that this is a show that's best viewed multiple times in order to piece everything together, and that's fine, but if I'm not enjoying myself the first time around, and it hasn't given me any desire to continue watching it—then, well, why the fuck would I? What EXACTLY will doing this add to my quality of life? Probably not a single goddamn thing. And the Invader Zim-style humor is a huge problem when the show is meant to be a comedy. Absolutely migraine-inducing, but mercifully, it's only six episodes. 3/10

Zatch Bell (Toei Animation, 2003, two episodes) 2/10

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo (Toei Animation, 2003, one half-episode) 1/10

One-Punch Man (Madhouse, 2015, completed) - 1/10


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Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison
decided to get some toonami shit out of the way

Lupin the Third Part I (Tokyo Movie, 1971, fourteen episodes) - Japanese Hanna-Barbera makes a show for adults in the early '70s and flounders spectacularly. It's not just the extremely dated visuals, or the fact that the animation has aged like an underage alcoholic—it's also very serialized and offers little in terms of plot, and offers no likable characters with a particularly insufferable protagonist. I know it's extremely old, but that doesn't excuse it for me when there are movies and TV shows much older than this that are still worth watching today. It doesn't help that the show's original director for the first batch of episodes was fired (or something), and the new director steered the show in a more family-friendly direction. That's where I had to stop—at that point, I knew I wasn't going to get anything out of this. 3/10

FLCL (Gainax, 2000, completed) This is the perfect show to watch if you ever need to teach someone a lesson in style-over-substance, and why that's not something you ever want. You know things are grim when the best thing about your show is the music (and even that's not as good as people seem to think it is). The plot is too obtuse for its own good, and I'm given very little reason to care about anything that's happening, thanks to the terrible characters (especially Haruko). I understand that this is a show that's best viewed multiple times in order to piece everything together, and that's fine, but if I'm not enjoying myself the first time around, and it hasn't given me any desire to continue watching it—then, well, why the fuck would I? What EXACTLY will doing this add to my quality of life? Probably not a single goddamn thing. And the Invader Zim-style humor is a huge problem when the show is meant to be a comedy. Absolutely migraine-inducing, but mercifully, it's only six episodes. 3/10

Zatch Bell (Toei Animation, 2003, two episodes) 2/10

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo (Toei Animation, 2003, one half-episode) 1/10

One-Punch Man (Madhouse, 2015, completed) - 1/10

Fuck you, one punch man is a national treasure.


 
Verbatim
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Fuck you, one punch man is a national treasure.
One of the stupidest things I've ever seen.