To Sentra, with love

Sandtrap · September 27, 2014, 09:57:12 PM

I'm going to be brief about this. Frankly, I'm not even really sure what I can say. I don't even know what to say really. But I'd like to try, before I can't.

A few days ago, I picked up the flu. And I had a mild sore throat. And then I ate some bad food. Puked it all up one night, and went to the hospital because there was blood in my puke. Found out the stomach acid was hard on my sore throat and did a number on it. But that's not the point.

Last night, I was feeling horrible. And I went to the hospital. I have some bad news.

The wounds in my throat have become infected, despite all the drugs the doc gave me. The infection's gone respitory. And the doc gave me the bad news last night.

My chances are bad. My lungs are already damaged from work prior in my life, and they will likely be unable to handle this. The doc's given me a huge cocktail of shit to fight this, but it's only a matter of time before I end up in the hospital bed.

My will's breaking down. I claw and tear at myself with depression. And I know, when you become sick like this, your outlook on things can really help you along. Happy people can fight better. And I'm not happy.

I've signed up for a job. It's only a matter of time before I end up in a hospital bed. And I don't know if I'll survive this. But I'm not going to lay down and wait to die. If I'm going to leave my family and this world, I'm not going to leave them to the ravages of unfairness.

I'm going to try and post here, for the sake of it, as long as I can. But I will be gone for long periods of time. And when the infection puts me down in a bed, I won't be seeing any of you anymore. When it does, I'm going to hope for the best. But luck can be cruel.

I don't really know what else to say. Thank you all for the time you've given me.

Edit I left you a present Sentra. Enjoy.

Septy · September 27, 2014, 09:58:45 PM

Holy shit...

Kinder Graham · September 27, 2014, 10:00:47 PM

(._.)

Tackel · September 27, 2014, 10:01:11 PM

Spoiler

Damn, dude. Obviously not a positive comment, but damn.. this sucks. Wish you best of luck.

DAS B00T x2 · September 27, 2014, 10:01:42 PM

Sand, nein here, for what it's worth, Ich am with you am spirit. Fucking fight this pissy ass bacteria, and kick it out of your trachea! For blut unt glory, mein Herr, jawohl? JAWOHL!

Sandtrap · September 27, 2014, 10:08:58 PM

Quote from: Nuka on September 27, 2014, 10:01:13 PM

You're over-stressing yourself. Illnesses tend to be much worse when the body is stressed or working too hard. I don't know how, but you need to find a way to slow things down or put them on pause once you've recovered from this illness. You have to for your health.

I know this doctor. He knows his stuff. And I know my own body. My lungs are in poor shape. My chances are slim of pulling through, even if I sit and wait. If I walked into the hospital right now, and told them to take care of me..... it wouldn't make a difference. My lungs are going to be affected by this one way or another, and my body is now dealing with two things.

The flu, and this respitory infection. I'm not going to sit and wait to die. I'm not going to take my chances. I'M NOT GOING TO DIE AND LEAVE MY FAMILY ON THE VERGE OF HOMELESSNESS AND BEING BANKRUPT.

Mox · September 27, 2014, 10:09:38 PM

Oh my god... I'm so sorry.

Septy · September 27, 2014, 10:10:52 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on September 27, 2014, 10:08:58 PM

Quote from: Nuka on September 27, 2014, 10:01:13 PM
You're over-stressing yourself. Illnesses tend to be much worse when the body is stressed or working too hard. I don't know how, but you need to find a way to slow things down or put them on pause once you've recovered from this illness. You have to for your health.

I know this doctor. He knows his stuff. And I know my own body. My lungs are in poor shape. My chances are slim of pulling through, even if I sit and wait. If I walked into the hospital right now, and told them to take care of me..... it wouldn't make a difference. My lungs are going to be affected by this one way or another, and my body is now dealing with two things.

The flu, and this respitory infection. I'm not going to sit and wait to die. I'm not going to take my chances. I'M NOT GOING TO DIE AND LEAVE MY FAMILY ON THE VERGE OF HOMELESSNESS AND BEING BANKRUPT.

Do you know what type of respiratory infection it is?

Sandtrap · September 27, 2014, 10:11:23 PM

Quote from: Neo on September 27, 2014, 10:09:38 PM

Oh my god... I'm so sorry.

I can't even hug my sister because I'm infectious. I CAN'T EVEN HUG THEM.

Sandtrap · September 27, 2014, 10:11:45 PM

Quote from: Nuka on September 27, 2014, 10:10:30 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on September 27, 2014, 10:08:58 PM
Quote from: Nuka on September 27, 2014, 10:01:13 PM
You're over-stressing yourself. Illnesses tend to be much worse when the body is stressed or working too hard. I don't know how, but you need to find a way to slow things down or put them on pause once you've recovered from this illness. You have to for your health.

I know this doctor. He knows his stuff. And I know my own body. My lungs are in poor shape. My chances are slim of pulling through, even if I sit and wait. If I walked into the hospital right now, and told them to take care of me..... it wouldn't make a difference. My lungs are going to be affected by this one way or another, and my body is now dealing with two things.

The flu, and this respitory infection. I'm not going to sit and wait to die. I'm not going to take my chances. I'M NOT GOING TO DIE AND LEAVE MY FAMILY ON THE VERGE OF HOMELESSNESS AND BEING BANKRUPT.
Why are your lungs in such bad shape? Are you a smoker, or...?

Asbestos.

Yu · September 27, 2014, 10:12:23 PM

Jesus Christ, I hope you pull through this one way or another.

Sandtrap · September 27, 2014, 10:12:34 PM

Quote from: Septy on September 27, 2014, 10:10:52 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on September 27, 2014, 10:08:58 PM
Quote from: Nuka on September 27, 2014, 10:01:13 PM
You're over-stressing yourself. Illnesses tend to be much worse when the body is stressed or working too hard. I don't know how, but you need to find a way to slow things down or put them on pause once you've recovered from this illness. You have to for your health.

I know this doctor. He knows his stuff. And I know my own body. My lungs are in poor shape. My chances are slim of pulling through, even if I sit and wait. If I walked into the hospital right now, and told them to take care of me..... it wouldn't make a difference. My lungs are going to be affected by this one way or another, and my body is now dealing with two things.

The flu, and this respitory infection. I'm not going to sit and wait to die. I'm not going to take my chances. I'M NOT GOING TO DIE AND LEAVE MY FAMILY ON THE VERGE OF HOMELESSNESS AND BEING BANKRUPT.
Do you know what type of respiratory infection it is?

No. I could ask the doc. But I don't see much point. I'm headed to a hospital bed one way or another, no matter what it is.

Laser · September 27, 2014, 10:13:47 PM

Geez, your life is just filled with bad luck. Hope you make it through this.

TB · September 27, 2014, 10:13:51 PM

*sheds a tear*
...
I'm sorry.

DAS B00T x2 · September 27, 2014, 10:14:19 PM

Repertory infections cam be delt with . I trained through Basic with one. The flue is the flie you can overcome it. I ha e faith In your spirit, mein herr. You've got this.

🂿 · September 27, 2014, 10:16:31 PM

You can survive this. You just have to try.

We're all going to die eventually however, but surviving is always a goal in my mind.

I wish you the best of luck.

DAS B00T x2 · September 27, 2014, 10:18:02 PM

Wait, don't fucking tell me asbestos is still a commo. Insulator In Canada

Sandtrap · September 27, 2014, 10:18:31 PM

Quote from: Nuka on September 27, 2014, 10:15:56 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on September 27, 2014, 10:11:45 PM
Quote from: Nuka on September 27, 2014, 10:10:30 PM
Quote from: Sandtrap on September 27, 2014, 10:08:58 PM
Quote from: Nuka on September 27, 2014, 10:01:13 PM
You're over-stressing yourself. Illnesses tend to be much worse when the body is stressed or working too hard. I don't know how, but you need to find a way to slow things down or put them on pause once you've recovered from this illness. You have to for your health.

I know this doctor. He knows his stuff. And I know my own body. My lungs are in poor shape. My chances are slim of pulling through, even if I sit and wait. If I walked into the hospital right now, and told them to take care of me..... it wouldn't make a difference. My lungs are going to be affected by this one way or another, and my body is now dealing with two things.

The flu, and this respitory infection. I'm not going to sit and wait to die. I'm not going to take my chances. I'M NOT GOING TO DIE AND LEAVE MY FAMILY ON THE VERGE OF HOMELESSNESS AND BEING BANKRUPT.
Why are your lungs in such bad shape? Are you a smoker, or...?

Asbestos.
...oh.
Had to do a google search on that. So it's a mineral that you've been overexposed to?

Asbestos and concrete dust, all in my lungs. So, yes. My lungs are filled with the stuff, and my air capacity is, to put it bluntly, bad. In humid or cold dry weather, it gets even worse and I can't work for even 10 minutes without having to sit down and catch my breath,

Sandtrap · September 27, 2014, 10:19:32 PM

Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on September 27, 2014, 10:18:02 PM

Wait, don't fucking tell me asbestos is still a commo. Insulator In Canada

It's not. But there's a lot of old buildings still containing it. I worked in a room for basically five days straight, with a disfunctional mask that I didn't know about until after we were done.

Spartan147Eli · September 27, 2014, 10:23:11 PM

I'm so sorry. You'll be in the prayers of my family.

DAS B00T x2 · September 27, 2014, 10:24:44 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on September 27, 2014, 10:19:32 PM

Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on September 27, 2014, 10:18:02 PM
Wait, don't fucking tell me asbestos is still a commo. Insulator In Canada

It's not. But there's a lot of old buildings still containing it. I worked in a room for basically five days straight, with a disfunctional mask that I didn't know about until after we were done.

oh my gott...
Sue, I'd all i can think.
You. . You may be done for, bur please do it so your family has something.

Septy · September 27, 2014, 10:27:16 PM

Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on September 27, 2014, 10:24:44 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on September 27, 2014, 10:19:32 PM
Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on September 27, 2014, 10:18:02 PM
Wait, don't fucking tell me asbestos is still a commo. Insulator In Canada

It's not. But there's a lot of old buildings still containing it. I worked in a room for basically five days straight, with a disfunctional mask that I didn't know about until after we were done.
oh my gott...
Sue, I'd all i can think.
You. . You may be done for, bur please do it so your family has something.

You drunk broski?

Looking at all your posts in this thread.

g💚jira · September 27, 2014, 10:27:30 PM

D:

I'm so sorry, Sandtrap. But keep trying to be you. Hold on to your values, and remember to never ever give up. You've always been an idealist, and one of the most interesting people I've had the pleasure of meeting online.

Stay strong, Sandtrap. You're in our hearts. And we'll beat this thing no matter what.

Sandtrap · September 27, 2014, 10:30:22 PM

Quote from: Nuka on September 27, 2014, 10:27:03 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on September 27, 2014, 10:18:31 PM
Quote from: Nuka on September 27, 2014, 10:15:56 PM
Quote from: Sandtrap on September 27, 2014, 10:11:45 PM
Quote from: Nuka on September 27, 2014, 10:10:30 PM
Quote from: Sandtrap on September 27, 2014, 10:08:58 PM
Quote from: Nuka on September 27, 2014, 10:01:13 PM
You're over-stressing yourself. Illnesses tend to be much worse when the body is stressed or working too hard. I don't know how, but you need to find a way to slow things down or put them on pause once you've recovered from this illness. You have to for your health.

I know this doctor. He knows his stuff. And I know my own body. My lungs are in poor shape. My chances are slim of pulling through, even if I sit and wait. If I walked into the hospital right now, and told them to take care of me..... it wouldn't make a difference. My lungs are going to be affected by this one way or another, and my body is now dealing with two things.

The flu, and this respitory infection. I'm not going to sit and wait to die. I'm not going to take my chances. I'M NOT GOING TO DIE AND LEAVE MY FAMILY ON THE VERGE OF HOMELESSNESS AND BEING BANKRUPT.
Why are your lungs in such bad shape? Are you a smoker, or...?

Asbestos.
...oh.
Had to do a google search on that. So it's a mineral that you've been overexposed to?

Asbestos and concrete dust, all in my lungs. So, yes. My lungs are filled with the stuff, and my air capacity is, to put it bluntly, bad. In humid or cold dry weather, it gets even worse and I can't work for even 10 minutes without having to sit down and catch my breath,
Well...good thing you didn't take the construction job, huh?

That's where I originally got the asbestos exposure from. My first construction job. And, this job is no cake walk either. Tomorrow I'll be helping to lift up 36ft long trusses for a roof. There was no way out, all along, but this. So yes, I did take the construction job. Just another one close by.

DAS B00T x2 · September 27, 2014, 10:30:25 PM

Quote from: Septy on September 27, 2014, 10:27:16 PM

Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on September 27, 2014, 10:24:44 PM
Quote from: Sandtrap on September 27, 2014, 10:19:32 PM
Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on September 27, 2014, 10:18:02 PM
Wait, don't fucking tell me asbestos is still a commo. Insulator In Canada

It's not. But there's a lot of old buildings still containing it. I worked in a room for basically five days straight, with a disfunctional mask that I didn't know about until after we were done.
oh my gott...
Sue, I'd all i can think.
You. . You may be done for, bur please do it so your family has something.
You drunk broski?

Looking at all your posts in this thread.

very.

Jim · September 27, 2014, 10:31:03 PM

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Sandtrap · September 27, 2014, 10:31:25 PM

Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on September 27, 2014, 10:24:44 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on September 27, 2014, 10:19:32 PM
Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on September 27, 2014, 10:18:02 PM
Wait, don't fucking tell me asbestos is still a commo. Insulator In Canada

It's not. But there's a lot of old buildings still containing it. I worked in a room for basically five days straight, with a disfunctional mask that I didn't know about until after we were done.
oh my gott...
Sue, I'd all i can think.
You. . You may be done for, bur please do it so your family has something.

I can't sue the construction company because it's not their fault. And I can't sue the company that sold it tot hem because I don't even have any money in my pockets right now.

Chaos Fighter · September 27, 2014, 10:32:12 PM

Quote from: Laser on September 27, 2014, 10:13:47 PM

Geez, your life is just filled with bad luck.

That is the stupidest fucking thing to say you inbred moron.

Sandtrap · September 27, 2014, 10:33:46 PM

Quote from: Chaos Fighter on September 27, 2014, 10:32:12 PM

Quote from: Laser on September 27, 2014, 10:13:47 PM
Geez, your life is just filled with bad luck.
That is the stupidest fucking thing to say you inbred moron.

No. He's right. Always has been. And I've tried to make of it what I could. Guess it wasn't enough though. Won't stop me from trying though.

Laser · September 27, 2014, 10:33:48 PM

Quote from: Chaos Fighter on September 27, 2014, 10:32:12 PM

Quote from: Laser on September 27, 2014, 10:13:47 PM
Geez, your life is just filled with bad luck.
That is the stupidest fucking thing to say you inbred moron.

Huh?