Justin Trudeau files 35 million workplace harassment complaints against Canada

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OTTAWA – Less than one week after guiding his party to a surprise majority in the federal election, Prime Minister-designate Justin Trudeau has already filed 35 million workplace harassment complaints against his employers, the people of Canada.

“Obviously this isn’t the way I envisioned starting a new job,” explained Trudeau, “But I can’t work like this. Everywhere I go, women keep calling me names like ‘The PMILF,’ telling me to smile more, and yelling things like “show us your abs!” This morning, Marc Garneau and Bill Blair had a 45-minute conversation about how fuckable I am.  In my office.  Right in front me.”

The Liberal leader went on to add that the problem is even worse online, where his social media feeds have been inundated with shirtless photos of him, invitations from constituents to “Netflix and chill,” as well as countless links to editorial pieces on what political insiders all agree is “a pretty stellar D”.

The harassment has become so pervasive, Trudeau notes, that’s it’s even spread beyond Canada’s borders.

“Angela Merkel drunk dialled me at 3am last night,” recounted the Papineau MP, “To tell me she’d rather sit on my face than on the UN Security Council.”

But while Trudeau sees himself as a victim, the government’s Chief Human Resources Officer places blame for the unwanted attention squarely on the taut, muscular shoulders Canada’s 29th Prime Minister.  In a statement released today, the CHRO claimed that Mr. Trudeau is “asking for it with those suits he wears.”

“The guy just spent two and half months travelling across the country, begging Canadians to let him show us what he can do,” the statement continued. “And then when we try to take him up on it, he complains.”

“Fuckin’ tease.”

That is what you get for voting a Prime Minister based on his looks.


 
Elai
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Holy fucking shit, lol. "I'd rather sit on your face than sit on the UN Security counsel." Bahahahaha.
Last Edit: October 24, 2015, 05:13:57 PM by Avant le Présent


 
big sponge
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Holy fucking shit, lol. "I'd rather sit on your face than sit on the UN Security counsel." Bahahahaha.

Good for Trudeau, though.



g💚jira | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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I dunno, I love a solid piece of satire every now and then.


Blonic the Fluxmeister | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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The public really is stupid.  They vote for people based on their looks, race, or gender rather than their actual political stances.  Sigh...


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I neither fear, nor despise.
well den


Risay117 | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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The public really is stupid.  They vote for people based on their looks, race, or gender rather than their actual political stances.  Sigh...
Actually he was voted in because he was the best chance to get the former Prime Minister Stephen Harper out of power. He also has some good ideas that are centrist and has quite a solid team to rely on.

His platform includes:
Electoral Reform
Legalization of Marijuana
New Tax Credits
Run a 3 year deficit to spend in infrastructure and Public Spending (Take into account Canada is close to entering a recession)

His Platform is as below:
Liberal Platform

The vote was more to decide who was best to kick the former ruling Conservatives out of power.


 
Elai
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The public really is stupid.  They vote for people based on their looks, race, or gender rather than their actual political stances.  Sigh...

Except no, Trudeau was elected because his party had the best chance of kicking out Harper. Not to mention, his excellent platform.


 
Elai
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I wish I knew what this picture implied.

But yeah, I didn't get to read the article on mobile for some reason when I commented initially.


 
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I wish I knew what this picture implied.

But yeah, I didn't get to read the article on mobile for some reason when I commented initially.

It's a canadian onion.


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The public really is stupid.  They vote for people based on their looks, race, or gender rather than their actual political stances.  Sigh...
Actually he was voted in because he was the best chance to get the former Prime Minister Stephen Harper out of power. He also has some good ideas that are centrist and has quite a solid team to rely on.

His platform includes:
Electoral Reform
Legalization of Marijuana
New Tax Credits
Run a 3 year deficit to spend in infrastructure and Public Spending (Take into account Canada is close to entering a recession)

His Platform is as below:
Liberal Platform

The vote was more to decide who was best to kick the former ruling Conservatives out of power.
I'm not saying his platform is shit and what not, but I'm just saying a good number of the public these days just votes for people depending on their gender, race, and now looks, I guess.  It's like some video I saw not too long ago with all these people being interviewed that were planning to vote for Hillary only because she is a woman.  Sure, maybe not a lot of people voted for this guy based on his looks but rather his political views, but I find it sad to think that a considerable percentage probably only voted for him because they thought he was cute or something.


 
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It's a canadian onion.

I realise that now, lol.


 
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Sure, maybe not a lot of people voted for this guy based on his looks but rather his political views, but I find it sad to think that a considerable percentage probably only voted for him because they thought he was cute or something.

Yeah, that's fair. I think if most people voted objectively, Mulcair would have won instead, considering he was

a) the official opposition
b) far more experienced than Trudeau
c) essentially had the same platform with a few differences
d) was willing to form a coalition with the Liberals but was shut down multiple times

I dunno, I really like Trudeau but Mulcair should have won IMO.


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Sure, maybe not a lot of people voted for this guy based on his looks but rather his political views, but I find it sad to think that a considerable percentage probably only voted for him because they thought he was cute or something.

Yeah, that's fair. I think if most people voted objectively, Mulcair would have won instead, considering he was

a) the official opposition
b) far more experienced than Trudeau
c) essentially had the same platform with a few differences
d) was willing to form a coalition with the Liberals but was shut down multiple times

I dunno, I really like Trudeau but Mulcair should have won IMO.
Yeah, probably. 


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invitations from constituents to “Netflix and chill,”
I love it


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Sure, maybe not a lot of people voted for this guy based on his looks but rather his political views, but I find it sad to think that a considerable percentage probably only voted for him because they thought he was cute or something.

Yeah, that's fair. I think if most people voted objectively, Mulcair would have won instead, considering he was

a) the official opposition
b) far more experienced than Trudeau
c) essentially had the same platform with a few differences
d) was willing to form a coalition with the Liberals but was shut down multiple times

I dunno, I really like Trudeau but Mulcair should have won IMO.
Yeah, probably.
Well likely people choose Trudeau over Mulcair as he was a more charismatic leader and was another option against Harper.

I still feel like most people do not take into account how much hate there was for Harper. Which is mainly why it was either Mulcair or Trudeau. Funny thing ia early in the campaign Mulcair had the support but as the campaign moved forward it slowly died.

According to many it was in the debates and later on where Trudeau actually shined and showed himself as an option and where Mulcair lost out. Actually if anything it was the Conservatives who dealt the Liberal the winning hand with their attacks on Trudeaus personality and their efforts to sideline and ignore Mulcair. This ad campaign although was successful in sidelining Mulcair it ended up making it a Harper versus Trudeau campaign. And with everyone wanting Harper out, Trudeau waa the only other option that aeemed like the best bet.