I fart in crowded elevators

if no one's paying attention I'll double tap the bowl

absolutely diabolical

If I get into a conversation with well motivated/driven people that ask me what I want to do with my life, I describe in detail my lack of any ambition or goals.

100%, without fail, it makes them really angry with me and I love it.



"But don't you have ANY interests, any passions?"

<"Not really, no."

"Why? What's wrong with you?"

<"I don't know man."

This is usualy how it starts off.

I pet my cat with the force of a thousand suns.